I binge when I get angry

Options
Morty90210
Morty90210 Posts: 37 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Hello...i tend to emotional eat and eat when I get angry or anxious. My mother in law makes me uneasy and i always end up eating when I start thinking of her. She is snarky and critical. I know i cant blame it on her cause im the one eating the food but I want to get past this and end this binge cycle.
«1

Replies

  • Morty90210
    Morty90210 Posts: 37 Member
    Options
    I know...i have just gotten myself into a terrible habit and need to break it.
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    Options
    Morty90210 wrote: »
    I know...i have just gotten myself into a terrible habit and need to break it.

    Understood, but breaking habits is easier (not easy) when you replace it with something else (positive behaviour), whether that be yoga, meditation, (kick)boxing, walking, or any other number of things. The other thing is learning to interrupt the behaviour before you engage in it. It's not easy, and you will likely have some successes and some failures, but if you remain persistent with it, it can be done.
  • Tankiscool
    Tankiscool Posts: 11,105 Member
    Options
    Morty90210 wrote: »
    My mother in law makes me uneasy

    They say if to only keep things in your life that brings you joy.........I know a guy if you need some help lol.

    This may be contrary to what everyone else is saying but isn't she the one "winning" when you binge eat? It's time to be selfish and think about yourself, you gotta think about you and your health. Prove to yourself and her that you are better than this and what she says or does, doesn't get to you at all. Maybe that is by replacing this habit with something else or maybe its just coming to grips with reality that this *kitten* will always be there but in order to be the better person you have to do something and not just let yourself fall back into your old bad habit.

    I don't know the answer to your problems but I do know acknowledging that you have a problem is always the first step. Where you go from here is up to you. Maybe forcing yourself to go and track those calories from your last or next binge will open your eyes and say *kitten* I ate that much, I can't do that again. Learn and embrace your failures, so you can learn to be better the next time. Only you can hold yourself accountable.
  • countcurt
    countcurt Posts: 593 Member
    edited October 2018
    Options
    I completely relate to this issue. Well, the anger eating, not the mother in law.
    [edited by mods]
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    Options
    It is nearly impossible to stop a thought. But you can crowd it out with new thoughts.

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/toxic-relationships/201808/dealing-toxic-parents

    Find new ways to deal with the M-I-L and the eating will take care of itself.

    It goes without saying that your partner better be backing you up.
  • Blythmag
    Blythmag Posts: 252 Member
    Options
    Get a divorce....job done :p
  • FlyingMolly
    FlyingMolly Posts: 490 Member
    edited October 2018
    Options
    The issue isn’t the trigger. Something is always going to make you feel anxious, or angry, or uneasy. No one sails through life with no negative emotions whatsoever; no one’s life is entirely without obstacles. Even if you traded places with your favorite celebrity tomorrow, you’d still feel pretty much the same ratios of fear, joy, anger and sadness as you do right now.

    Your thing is that when you feel negative emotions, you try to bury them in food. It’s an unhealthy coping mechanism, just like purging, drinking, cheating, or overspending. We all have things we have to cope with somehow; your method hurts you.

    It’s useful to identify what sets you off, but only up to a point. You’re never going to eliminate all triggers, so your focus needs to be on replacing your unhealthy coping mechanism with something that actually works for you. It might mean having to experience the bad feelings more deeply and for longer than you’re accustomed to. A therapist could be really useful in helping to walk you through that.
  • psychod787
    psychod787 Posts: 4,088 Member
    Options
    OldAssDude wrote: »
    Do some cardio.

    It will reduce stress and make you less angry.

    plus you can binge the calories you burn without going over. :)

    I slam some iron or go work on something! Sometimes I just beat a hammer on a old tire when I get angry!
  • psychod787
    psychod787 Posts: 4,088 Member
    Options
    New_Heavens_Earth wrote: »
    OldAssDude wrote: »
    Do some cardio.

    It will reduce stress and make you less angry.

    plus you can binge the calories you burn without going over. :)

    Cardio as a stress reliever, yes.
    But from personal experience, exercising to offset or enable a binge is just mentally and physically punishing. Led me to bulimic tendencies, particularly exercise bulimia.

    ETA: I fully sympathize on the MIL issues. Takes a lot to deal with on my part, no binging just praying and saying what needs to be said with tact.

    Whats funny about exercise/work for me is, hard work or weights just destroys my appetite! Walking or cardio... ups it. I guess we all respond differently.
  • Dani9585
    Dani9585 Posts: 215 Member
    Options
    Meet this "problem" at the source. If your MIL says things that cause you to experience those feelings, then use assertive statements with her.
  • kiela64
    kiela64 Posts: 1,447 Member
    Options
    I eat when I’m angry too. I find if I can hold off I avoid the binge and I feel better when the anger passes. It seems to come from a need to DO something so exercise helps.
  • Deviette
    Deviette Posts: 979 Member
    edited October 2018
    Options
    The easiest method to stop binge eating is to stop the trigger.

    The question you need to ask yourself is: are you being unreasonably angry at your mother in law? Is it general anger that you're directing at her?

    Solving your anger issues might help solve your binge eating.

    Personally I used to be a very angry person. I had anger issues. It wasn't healthy and I used to get into fights at school. My parents sorted it by sending me to Judo classes. I honestly cannot recommend martial arts enough. On top of being a safe channel for all that aggression, it also often teaches self discipline and inner calm. Probably about 1 in 4 of the adults who train at my club started because they had anger issues, and you would have no idea if you didn't know that (in fact, I have a feeling when me and one of the other coaches worked it out it was more than that, but I'm only half remembering so I'm going with a lower estimate)


    Now if the issue is with your mother in law herself, well, you need to work out what you're going to do. But this really need to speak to your partner too. At the end of the day, if she is being unreasonable, it is not okay for you to just sit there and take it, while they sit along in blissful ignorance. Speak to them. They may not be aware of the problem, or might just not see it as an issue. If you really have a problem, it's often much more diplomatic for your partner to speak to their mother, than for you to speak directly.

    And another thing that is especially true for mother in laws is that they probably have had free run over their child's whole life up until now, there will always be an adjustment period in understanding that they may not be the most important women in their child's life anymore (and this can be a long, long time). That's a tough change. She might be doing the wrong thing for the right reasons. Sometimes it's important to remind her that this is your (plural - you and your partner's) life now, and you're going to do things your way, not her way (unless of course you're in extenuating circumstances, such as living at her house, or somehow dependent on her)
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,898 Member
    Options
    Another vote for cardio or weights. And CBT.

    This book on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for overeating was available in my library system, so perhaps yours as well.

    The Beck Diet Solution: Train Your Brain to Think Like a Thin Person

    Can thinking and eating like a thin person be learned, similar to learning to drive or use a computer? Beck (Cognitive Therapy for Challenging Problems) contends so, based on decades of work with patients who have lost pounds and maintained weight through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Beck's six-week program adapts CBT, a therapeutic system developed by Beck's father, Aaron, in the 1960s, to specific challenges faced by yo-yo dieters, including negative thinking, bargaining, emotional eating, bingeing, and eating out. Beck counsels readers day-by-day, introducing new elements (creating advantage response cards, choosing a diet, enlisting a diet coach, making a weight-loss graph) progressively and offering tools to help readers stay focused (writing exercises, to-do lists, ways to counter negative thoughts). There are no eating plans, calorie counts, recipes or exercises; according to Beck, any healthy diet will work if readers learn to think differently about eating and food. Beck's book is like an extended therapy session with a diet coach. (Apr.)

Categories