Lack of support

Options
LittleLaura16
LittleLaura16 Posts: 5 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hello!
I am training to run an ultra marathon, and yes, I know it's crazy- Thats all anyone ever tells me haha. And when i'm around friends and family, its easy to laugh with them when they tell me i'm crazy. But at the same time, I know whats going through their heads, they assume I'm going to fail, or wake up one day and come to my senses. But contrary to what they think, this is really something I am passionnant about, and its really a goal that I want to acheive. So my questions is, how do I get them to take me and my 'crazy' goal seriously? I mean, I am trainng seriously, upping my millage weekly, following a training plan and all that. But still, even with spending 6 hour every weekend running, my friends still tell me 'not to be too upset when this all falls through', and my family assumes that I'm just along for the ride with friends (which btw, I have yet to find any running friends :( ). I just wish that some one would take me seriously, Like I am taking what i'm doing seriously.

I'm sure that some of you are going to say that it doesn't matter what others think, that I should just do me. And beleive me, i am trying haha. But also I am a young college student, so if that gives you any context, I care about what my family and friends think. Thank you for any advice! :blush:

Replies

  • RAinWA
    RAinWA Posts: 1,980 Member
    Options
    Just keep thinking of their disbelief when you actually complete your marathon! Sometimes a "well, I'll just show them" attitude is a good thing.

    Sounds like you are on a great path, so just keep it up.
  • kami3006
    kami3006 Posts: 4,978 Member
    Options
    I completely understand about caring what others think and not having support you really want/need.

    In a case like this, I don't know that you can change their thinking other than to show them you're committed by continuing to train. It's not something they can imagine themselves doing so they can't imagine others doing it either. Even though you and I and all the other folks to train for anything know that it's done by plenty of people.

    I'm sorry you don't have the support you need and hope you don't start to let their undermining affect your training. I think it's wonderful and there are plenty of folks here who will give you support.

    Best of luck with your training and marathon.
  • Running2Fit
    Running2Fit Posts: 702 Member
    edited October 2018
    Options
    Are you part of a running group? Training with people who have the same/similar goals is a great place to find support and runners are some of the most supportive people I know! Check out meetup.com or head over to your local running store and ask around.

    I guess the best way to show your friends/family you can do it is to actually do it. I’m not sure why they are being unsupportive (have you run other long distance races like a marathon before?) but you can’t make them be supportive - you can only control you.

    Also, my dad ran an ultra-marathon at 57! I see no reason a young college student couldn’t do it!
  • MikePTY
    MikePTY Posts: 3,814 Member
    Options
    I imagine that most of them are doubting that you can do it not because of you, but because it makes them confront their own inadequacies. Many of them probably winded walking up the stairs. So when you tell them you are going to run an ultra marathon, to them it sounds like you are saying that you are going to fly to Mars. Hopefully realizing that their doubt is really about themselves, and not about you, will help it not be sting so much when they have it.

    Also the longer you continue to train, and the more you continue towards you goal, some of your doubters will turn around.

    And lastly, you have this amazing community of people to rely on to help you get there, so you can always turn to us for support when you are not getting it from the people around you :)

  • Fuzzipeg
    Fuzzipeg Posts: 2,299 Member
    Options
    You may be able to find a running group at your college. I assume you are still living at home which will make it difficult to train without everyone being aware of what you are doing. There could be running or athletics clubs in your area. You could try doing an on line search to see what you can find, try, running/athletics clubs in ……..where ever and see what comes up. Take care when choosing a group, I expect you could attend once or twice to try it out for a fit with yourself, without any long term commitments.

    Running on your own takes courage when its not something others in your life have interest in. You do not say how long you have been running. It does say so much about you that you do get out there and give it a good go when those close to you are discouraging. As Mike above says, the comments your friends make probably come from their inadequacies. Eventually you will win them over, one by one may be the first one will be a secret. You may never be more than one of the pack, I know it will be wonderful to be a winner, you could have this in you but being one of the pack will give you so much support to achieve your personal best.

    My daughter started running after dong a sponcered "Moon Walk" I think it was a marathon, definetly in London. She and her friend walked all the way in the wee small dark hours along with many others. After that, they were asked, "why they walked, because running takes less long and is less hard on the body". So they decided to give it a try. My daughter regularly does the local Park Run now. Both are nearer to 50 than 20. Its what you want to do so don't give up.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    edited October 2018
    Options
    I agree with finding a running club, even if it's a virtual one. And find some running pals on here!

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/group/94-long-distance-runners
  • countcurt
    countcurt Posts: 593 Member
    Options
    Here are a couple of basic questions to ask yourself:

    1. Why [in your opinion] are they so skeptical of your ability to achieve this goal?

    As in, is this about you somehow? How so and why? Or, are they just overwhelming fonts of negativity who couldn't believe anybody capable of achieving your goal?

    2. When you say you want 'support', what, exactly, are you looking for?

    As in, are you hoping your sister-in-law (or whomever) will cart the kids to soccer practice while you're out running or you just want them to say "you go, girl" once in awhile? If you are looking for concrete support- carpooling, babysitting, meal prep, etc.- what have you offered them in exchange for their help? I know for a fact that if a friend/relative offered to do my laundry once a week in exchange for a weekend grocery run, I'd be all over that one.



    If you don't need anything tangible from them, ask yourself why it matters so much that they support you.
  • AnvilHead
    AnvilHead Posts: 18,344 Member
    edited October 2018
    Options
    LittleLaura16 wrote: »
    So my questions is, how do I get them to take me and my 'crazy' goal seriously?
    Let your action do the talking. Talk is cheap, actions speak louder than words ever could.
  • RealWorldStrengthLLC
    RealWorldStrengthLLC Posts: 552 Member
    Options
    If I am being blunt, they're hoping you fail, or quit.

    People like to see others fail, or quit - especially at fitness/weight loss goals. It re-enforces the belief that such pursuits are frivolous, that there is no point in trying in the first place - at least for "normal" people. To them, you are part of their circle and what they perceive as normal people. They are secretly hoping you bail on it or fall flat on your face because you succeeding will re-define what is possible for their perception of "normal" people and forces them to confront their own inadequacy.

    In short - people want to see you do well, just not better than them. I'll likely get some woos for this, but this is a simple truth of the human nature in my experience.

Categories