How do you keep going / stay consistent?
coolbluecris
Posts: 228 Member
I have started and given up for 16 years. When I start I last a week or two then always give up because I'm sore or tired or eat way too much. Then I just stop.
I'm 5ft2, 46yo and 210 pounds. I hate how bad I feel when I exercise. I'm heavy and clunky.
What I want to know from those of you who have lost weight is, how did you just keep going?
I'm 5ft2, 46yo and 210 pounds. I hate how bad I feel when I exercise. I'm heavy and clunky.
What I want to know from those of you who have lost weight is, how did you just keep going?
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Replies
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By knowing that consistency = results, and the time will pass anyway.
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The exercising feels better after the first few weeks. This time round I realise I can stick with it and achieve or stay in this really negative cycle of loosing, quitting and starting all over again.
I remind myself that life will be better physically and emotionally if I just stick it out this time.2 -
Something has to click inside you. You start to make new habits. Exercise should be something you like doing. There is no discussion (with myself) for me. Everything is now a habit--at X hour I just do____. You'll be rewarded as you go on by more stamina, sleep better, etc.. However, your food intake has to be addressed if you want to lose weight. That means staying within your calorie goal everyday, and weighing and measuring everything you eat and drink on a digital food scale. Some people say that's too hard, and that just means they're not ready to commit--yet. When you're ready, you'll know. Good luck and I hope you decide to start. You'll be glad you did.5
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Try weight loss. Weight loss is a long term process. Try to think of yourself a a scientist applying your skills to solve a problem. You are going to conduct your experiments on yourself. An initial test of at least 3 months should be a good start.
Start a food diary. Make the diary the center of your effort. It’s the record of your experiment. It is a thing to do. The only way not to do it is to decide not to. Don’t. Should you forget at some point, go back and fill it in as best you can.
Calculate a modest calorie deficit, start a food diary and try to hit your number. You will soon find that you have a better chance to hit your number if you have a plan. Plan for each day and week. Try to anticipate problems and plan around them.
Keep your diary no matter what, good, bad or ugly. Weight loss is a skill set. Mostly problem solving. The process is more important than the numbers. Trust and defend the process and the process will see you through.
Set up a system of weekly weigh ins and track your progress. You are trying to establish a downward trend over time.
Long term weight loss requires two things. A downward trend at the scale. And the ability to live with it. A plan you won’t actually follow is not a good plan. But the good news is plans that are proving to be ineffective can be fixed.
Monitor your thinking. At some point your brain is likely to try to talk you out of keeping your diary. Fight back. You’ve been there before. If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you always get.
Calorie counting works. But the thing that is rarely mentioned is the learning curve. Don’t be discouraged if you struggle at first. Actually, don’t be discouraged if you struggle later. Each week, sometimes each day, will bring its own challenges to navigate.
I think all these calorie and exercise calculators give folks the mistaken idea that we can run our bodies like machines. And run our lives like trains on a track. Life isn’t like that.
Sorry this is so long. How did I keep going? I had this insight: calorie counting works. If it wasn’t working for me at some point in time, it was because I wasn’t doing it right.
But the fact that I wasn’t doing it right, wasn’t personal failure, it was a plan problem to solve. Weight loss is problem solving, over and over again.
Good luck. What happened in the past does not control the future.15 -
As far as exercise goes, don't go all-out at first.
Start small, gradually adding intensity or duration as the weeks go on. Go for a 20-30 minute walk 3x a week for a month. Add time or add days. Your pace will naturally get faster as you get fitter.
Add in a fitness class or video aimed at beginners once a week (for example).
It's not to say you'll never get sore or tired, but it will be easier to sustain if you start small and build up. Like you, I would start exercising then give up after a few weeks because I was too tired and too sore. Starting small and building up gradually made all the difference for me.
Think of your healthy lifestyle as the long game - your goal is to make it sustainable enough to stick it out for the long haul - so don't punish yourself by starting off with difficulty on level 10. That's how to burn out.
As far as food goes - again, start slow.
Start tracking what you eat for a week, not with a goal of losing weight but simply of getting into the habit of logging things and learning where to find the nutrition information you'll need. Learn to be honest with your tracking - log that fast food meal and those halloween chocolate bars. This will also help you identify trends in your eating.
After a week, start aiming for a calorie deficit. Don't worry about what you eat - just log it and aim for that deficit.
Once you're comfortable, you'll start making adjustments naturally - maybe (for example) instead of the 2-300 calorie latte, you'll have coffee with a bit of cream and sugar. Or instead of 2 oz of cheese on your sandwich, you'll only have 1.
Again, it's the long game. Make little changes one by one over time, and they'll add up to big changes in your health and your weight and your fitness.
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coolbluecris wrote: »I have started and given up for 16 years. When I start I last a week or two then always give up because I'm sore or tired or eat way too much. Then I just stop.
I'm 5ft2, 46yo and 210 pounds. I hate how bad I feel when I exercise. I'm heavy and clunky.
What I want to know from those of you who have lost weight is, how did you just keep going?
I didn't completely change everything all at once. It's about building good habits. Once something is a habit, like brushing your teeth or taking off your shoes as you walk in the door, you don't have to push yourself or be motivated, it just happens. Does this take longer? Of course it does. But it's better to take longer and actually make progress than to speed, crash and burn.
So first just get into the habit of logging, including logging your food before you eat it. Maybe take a walk every once and awhile if you think of it. Then start learning from your food log - what foods fill you up, what foods and drinks are a waste of calories - and start making little weekly goals. Stick to one can of soda a day, rather than two or three. Pack your lunches for the week. Take a 15 minute walk after dinner every night. One at a time, until it's a habit.
All that is REQUIRED for weight loss is to hit your calorie goal. All the specifics can help, or can make you healthier, but you don't need to do all of it all at once, in fact you don't have to do all of it ever. Read the Most Helpful Posts threads pinned to the top of each board, and good luck :drinker:6 -
coolbluecris wrote: »
What I want to know from those of you who have lost weight is, how did you just keep going?
Habit coupled with a ridiculous sense of vanity (I wish I was lying about the latter part but I'm not...)
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Lost 100 5 years ago and have more or less kept it off. (I usually add 15 or so back in the winter though that keeps getting harder each spring to take back off.)
There is a bunch of good advice on here I agree with. Ultimately, and this may sound trite, but as someone once said “nothing tastes as good as thin feels.” For me it is so true. I mentally cannot go back to where I was. This keeps poor choices in check.3 -
Maybe you are starting with too many changes and too high a bar to possibly maintain.
start with doable goals. an achievable calorie goal and include some foods uou LIKE ( i still have desserts and snacks thru all ny weight loss).
ditto for exercise. in fact you don’t even need exersie but it is good to do. pick something you enjoy and don’t do it to the point of it hurting after each session. pain is not good/better. i just do daily walks now that i cannot run.3 -
Make small changes. You don’t have to exercise at all to lose weight. Diet is the most important so start there. Count your calories, watch your portion sizes. Once you feel like you are being successful with that maybe add in some exercise you enjoy 3 times a week. Make small changes over time and you will get to your goal.3
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I am still on the journey almost 6 months in. I started out by logging everything I ate, that was the first thing I really did and have continued to do every day. Even if I went over my allowed totals for the day, I recorded it. My second thing was if I ate it I weighed it first. It was almost two months before I really started walking, and still that is my main way of exercise. Now I can walk faster than a snail and for a longer distance. And I read lots of the posts, that have tons of great information in them. From people who have walked this same road/journey before me. Know that you are not alone, and can always reach out for advice, just to rant/vent if you need to. It is all good.3
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Also by making sure you're set up properly to succeed. Have you been over-exercising when you start? Under eating? What kind of goals do you have? Both over-exercising and under eating are ways to make yourself lose your drive. I assume you're on a 1200 calorie diet and trying to exercise daily?2
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I started out slow, and just logged to get used to it and make it a habit. Then, I started deficit eating, and checked in weekly to make sure I was trending down. Then, after about two months, I slowed weighing to once a month, put my trust in the process of deficit eating, and put weight loss on the backburner. Weight loss is hellishly slow if you focus on the results. Instead, I focus on the process, get my accomplished feeling on a daily process (through logging) and trust that I will lose weight. This is not my first rodeo, and the first time I was super obsessed with losing to the point where it took over my life and made my life exhausting. This time around, it's been a lot easier because I don't have to worry about my weight so much, just my logging. Much less "anticipation of results" that way.3
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Making it simple and creating habits. Once I realized I didn't need a way of eating, things became much easier. Got a food scale, ate what I enjoy and made sure it all fit my calories. Weighing and logging became a habit; something I don't have to give much consideration to anymore.
With exercise, I found something in line with my goals and that I enjoyed and I made it part of my week.
Small, simple changes made into habits.3 -
so much good advice here, I really can't add to the suggestions. I can provide a personal anecdote though, maybe it will help you persevere from the start. Friend me if you want
When I started I had been "using" a stationary bike for almost a yr. I put "using" in quotes as I would cycle really slowly or find excuses not to do it that day. My only time to exercise is before work so if I didn't do it at the start of the day it wasn't being done...
I was talking to a friend and she suggested I try workout videos on youtube, gave me the name of her favorite trainer (Jessica Smith). I looked at the beginner, low intensity stuff and picked out a workout. I did that 3 days a week for 4 weeks. At first I didn't want to, but I told myself "it is only 30 mins, you can do this". SO grumbling and yawning I did.
By the end of the first month I was actually, for the first time in my life, wanting to move more than the bare minimum I had set myself. So I picked another two routines, 15 mins each, and did those on my "off" week days.
I started noticing I had more energy, I was getting to work more awake and with a better attitude to tackle the day. I don't lose weight fast but the energy was worth it to me. More than once I caught myself thinking "Holy crud they were right. Exercising does give you more energy, that is so wrong but it works..."
After 3 months of my low-intensity routines I decided to follow a planned 4-week schedule with various workouts. I actually kind of look forward to working out now. Not in a gym-rat way, I still don't ever want to do that. Nor do I want to go back to the bike my hubby still uses. But I love the energy spike and feeling good about myself for doing my 30 mins a day.
TLDR: Find something that appeals to you. Just because another person has success with one workout method doesn't mean you have to do it to succeed.3 -
TavistockToad wrote: »By knowing that consistency = results, and the time will pass anyway.
Amen to this. I was just having this conversation with my husband this weekend as he was saying how much he hates to exercise. I told him, honestly, except for a game that I play for my cardio workouts I don't really "enjoy" working out either. I mean, sure it feels pretty empowering when I can do things I used to think I'd never be able to do. But it's work. I look at it like work. I get up every morning and brush my teeth. I go to work because I like to eat and have a roof over my head. I work out so that I can keep my body running in top condition for as long as possible. It's an investment in myself and my future. Like TavistockToad said, the time will pass anyway. So it doesn't really matter if your progress is slow. If a few years time you'll be amazed at how far you've come. So much better than giving up and in a few years being in the same place you are now.6 -
coolbluecris wrote: »I have started and given up for 16 years. When I start I last a week or two then always give up because I'm sore or tired or eat way too much. Then I just stop.
I'm 5ft2, 46yo and 210 pounds. I hate how bad I feel when I exercise. I'm heavy and clunky.
What I want to know from those of you who have lost weight is, how did you just keep going?
I didn't completely change everything all at once. It's about building good habits. Once something is a habit, like brushing your teeth or taking off your shoes as you walk in the door, you don't have to push yourself or be motivated, it just happens. Does this take longer? Of course it does. But it's better to take longer and actually make progress than to speed, crash and burn.
So first just get into the habit of logging, including logging your food before you eat it. Maybe take a walk every once and awhile if you think of it. Then start learning from your food log - what foods fill you up, what foods and drinks are a waste of calories - and start making little weekly goals. Stick to one can of soda a day, rather than two or three. Pack your lunches for the week. Take a 15 minute walk after dinner every night. One at a time, until it's a habit.
All that is REQUIRED for weight loss is to hit your calorie goal. All the specifics can help, or can make you healthier, but you don't need to do all of it all at once, in fact you don't have to do all of it ever. Read the Most Helpful Posts threads pinned to the top of each board, and good luck :drinker:
This. I wish I knew this when I tried to lose weight the first time. I read an article last year that really was powerful. If you try to change just one thing at a time, you stand an 80% chance of success. If you try to change more than one thing at a time, even two things, your success percentage drops to less than 40%! Do just one thing for one or two months until it's habit. Once you feel like "I got this one thing" add in one more. It's simple that way.3 -
I am so touched and thankful for all your replies. Such beautiful words and ideas, thank you so very much to all of you. Hugs x
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RelCanonical wrote: »... checked in weekly to make sure I was trending down. Then, after about two months, I slowed weighing to once a month, put my trust in the process of deficit eating, and put weight loss on the backburner. ...
I really like this and I think I may adopt your process. I like the idea of checking in with my deficit weekly to make sure I am truly trending down. This puts the achievement of success on numbers you can control (calories in vs calories out) instead of numbers you can't always control (the scale). The weight will come off in time but it's not the determinant of how successful you feel each day or week.
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The tone of your post is exhausted, frustrated, and sad. That was me, and a lot of us! I honestly couldn’t get started with any habit changing until I started seeing a behavioral therapist. She helped me break down the habit changes into tiny manageable chunks, and also helped me identify sources of stress that were making it feel impossible to change.
Don’t be afraid to reach out to a mental health professional if you feel that your happiness and your life choices are being negatively affected by your eating, how you feel about your body, your self-confidence, your stress, etc.3 -
No matter what we do or don't do time still moves forward. So I can either work on me and be healthier 2 months, 6 months, a year from now or doing nothing and have no results. Either way the time will still pass, might as well make the most it and my future.2
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What I did was start with my diet..I didn't start exercising..(walking) until I lost almost all my weight. I liked it that way, because when being overweight and out of shape makes it too difficult to suddenly hit the gym and restrict eating. Almost too much of a negative change..or seems that way. Also..when I started eating healthy...gosh I felt so much better.
After I lost most of the weight.. I went on a vacation where I had to walk a lot and all the time. I did eat what I wanted for those two weeks....and was shocked that I didn't regain.
So, with that.. I realized if I walked fast for exercise I would more easily maintain my loss.
So, now that I walk and eat healthy and have lost all my weight... at this point I'm ready to start lifting weights..because I can see how doing that will firm and shape me ..even make me smaller without having to restrict food more.
So.. baby steps really...they're easy to take. Also..take photos in your underwear and look at them each day.. it kept me on track. I never want to go back to that.2 -
coolbluecris wrote: »I have started and given up for 16 years. When I start I last a week or two then always give up because I'm sore or tired or eat way too much. Then I just stop.
I'm 5ft2, 46yo and 210 pounds. I hate how bad I feel when I exercise. I'm heavy and clunky.
What I want to know from those of you who have lost weight is, how did you just keep going?
@coolbluecris
Weight loss is about calorie deficit. Exercise is for cardiovascular, muscular, and skeletal health.
So, start with one thing. I'd start with food, personally.
Can you commit to logging your food for a week? No changes, just log what you currently eat. After a week, look back through your food log. Where can you make a small, sustainable change? Maybe switch one soda out for water, or pass on one calorie-laden frappuccino a week. Do that, while continuing to log everything else. After your first change feels like second nature, then go back to your food diary and determine where you can make another small change. Maybe you commit to having a veggie with both lunch and dinner. Do that until it feels normal while continuing to log everything. See where I'm going with this?
You've been struggling for 16 years. Maybe something slow and sustainable, rather than speedy and restrictive, will be the magic bullet. Maybe it takes 5 years to get to where you want to be. Wouldn't that be better than continuing to yo-yo and ending up at 240 pounds (random number) when you are 51?
Good luck!2 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »coolbluecris wrote: »I have started and given up for 16 years. When I start I last a week or two then always give up because I'm sore or tired or eat way too much. Then I just stop.
I'm 5ft2, 46yo and 210 pounds. I hate how bad I feel when I exercise. I'm heavy and clunky.
What I want to know from those of you who have lost weight is, how did you just keep going?
Weight loss is about calorie deficit. Exercise is for cardiovascular, muscular, and skeletal health.
So, start with one thing. I'd start with food, personally.
Can you commit to logging your food for a week? No changes, just log what you currently eat. After a week, look back through your food log. Where can you make a small, sustainable change? Maybe switch one soda out for water, or pass on one calorie-laden frappuccino a week. Do that, while continuing to log everything else. After your first change feels like second nature, then go back to your food diary and determine where you can make another small change. Maybe you commit to having a veggie with both lunch and dinner. Do that until it feels normal while continuing to log everything. See where I'm going with this?
You've been struggling for 16 years. Maybe something slow and sustainable, rather than speedy and restrictive, will be the magic bullet. Maybe it takes 5 years to get to where you want to be. Wouldn't that be better than continuing to yo-yo and ending up at 240 pounds (random number) when you are 51?
Good luck!
Super solid advice. ^^2
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