just can't seem to get over the body change from youth

runningforthetrain · November 2018

I am embarrassed to admit it but, it has literally been 15 to 20 years that I still can't feel good about my body & the way I look. I was 110- 115 through my twenties. In my mind, I still see that thin young me. And when I see the middle age me with double chin-- I just hate it. I'm about 30 pounds heavier...

I know I should be grateful for what I have, but, I can't pretend I feel a way I don't.

Anyone have anything-- ideas--- that helped with this issue.

Thanks in advance for any words or views that may change my perspective.

middlehaitch · November 2018

I kind of get how you feel.

In 2008 my DinL sent me a pic taken that Christmas - I looked nothing like I felt on the inside.
I stepped on the scale and was ~30lbs heavier than normal. Gosh darn sedentary life and sneaky weight gain.

I was so stunned I got myself a calorie counting account (not MFP initially) and joined the local rec centre within the week.

It took a year to get back to the weight I was in my teens to 40's, and longer to get in better shape than I had been for a good couple of decades, but it was quite doable.

The wrinkles, bits of saggy skin, and less perky breasts- I can live with. At 65 I would look weird still looking 25.

If you don't like what you are seeing, change what you see. It can take time, but well worth it.

Give yourself a 1lbs a week deficit to lose a few of those extra pounds, and if you can, find an activity, or exercise routine that you like.

Cheers, h.

88olds · November 2018

Well, ok. I’m 68. Starting from the title of your post, if you really can’t get over the fading of your youth, you’re likely in for a rough time.

I’m la guy. When I turned 50, I lost weight, joined a gym and bought new clothes. But a 50 year old guy, in shape, can look good in a suit that fits right. It’s a sign that things are going well. Totally different mindset than the best years are behind me.

You need to fight this fight in your own head. Instead of telling yourself you should feel grateful, maybe dig inside a bit and find some actual gratitude. There are various exercises you can find online that may help.

And seeing this is a weigh loss board, try weight loss. But be prepared for a couple of things. Losing weight at 40? won’t restore you to age 22. You may not be pleased with the changes to your face, you may be left with loose skin around your middle. Don’t confuse weight loss with the fountain of youth.

But a successful weight loss plan can get you this by-product: a sense that you have some control. Life goes on. (We hope.) We don’t control events. But we don’t have to be completely helpless. Take heart in controlling what you can.

I sincerely hope you find some sort of answer to your dilemma. Regret will eat you alive if you let it. And it only gets worse with age. Good luck.

runningforthetrain · November 2018

Thanks @middlehaitch. I can get the weight down. I just need to believe in myself! I also really need to develop more stringent habits. I am a very spontaneous person, and get bored or uninspired by routine. And being a foodie doesn't help much either.:0

Dootzy1 · November 2018

We have to develop a sense of humor about these things, because humans grow older and develop evidence of it on and in their bodies. You are more than just your physical self!!!

elisa123gal · November 2018

It is more that you have to change your attitude and perspective before tackling weight loss and fitness. Wanting to look forever like you did when you were 20 is a guaranteed vicious cycle to disappointment, insecurity, and self loathing.

It makes me sad when i read posts on here, where people lose all their weight..and they are still as unhappy as when they started because they don't look 20 again.

All anyone can be is their best beautiful self at any age. Nothing is more attractive and than self confidence and self acceptance.,,these qualities are ageless and enviable.

We are all getting older...and it is a privilege. because not everyone gets to grow old. When I see a lovely senior lady, fit, well dressed..smiling and vital. I think... "that's how I want to look at her age."

73CL350 · November 2018

I also feel old and like i will "never look good again". As for advice? ... sorry I have none... just commiseration

Sunrain2018 · November 2018

Have you ever heard of the vivacious Ernestine Shepherd?

Once you google her and listen to her story, I think your whole view on your “aging body” will change.

She surely motivated my *kitten* and made me rethink my life choices.

runningforthetrain · November 2018

Hey thanks everyone! These are such great responses. I truly appreciate the feedback & will take heart with some of these suggestions. Thanks for the commiseration @73CL350 - your post was honest & made me laugh:)

countcurt · November 2018

You can certainly change what you see. You can lose the second chin and other signs of overweight. You can tone up and see a leaner, more muscular body as well.

The reality, though, is that you’ll still look in the mirror and see plenty to tell you you’re no longer in your 20’s. So the only route to feeling better about yourself is changing how you look at yourself. Whether that’s rethinking what those imperfections represent or focusing on other attributes (I’m 61 and I focus more on how fit I am and how much more I’m able to do now than 20 years ago, not so much on the depth of laugh lines or the loose skin where there was once much more fat), your options are to be progressively more miserable about yourself or find things in your life that can make you feel good about yourself.

just can't seem to get over the body change from youth

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