Vegan

I have the macro split that MFP initially designated which is 50/30/20 (carb/fat/protein)
Why not try this for now until you find your feet with the vegan proteins that work for you. Let’s face it, it’s not going to negatively affect your weight loss and you might find that some days you get 30 protein. You can then review what you ate to reach the higher level and adapt your meal plans. Why are you thinking you need to do the same macro goals as meat eating hubby anyway? I could understand if it was because you would be cooking and eating the same meals but you won’t be. Have a play in the meal planner with the various foods you enjoy and keep a note of which show higher protein. Just delete them off when done.
(Btw I’m not vegan, I’m a meat eater with a vegetarian boyf so I do cook and eat a lot of plant based products).
Shame you want to stay away from processed though. I was going to recommend the ‘OUMPH!’ Products from freezer aisle in Tesco. They are vegan and I swear, as a meat eater, they are hella-good!

There is no "best split" for vegans. There may be a best split for you (a range where you feel consistently satisfied and energetic), but vegans (like non-vegans) can choose to be high/moderate/low carbohydrate or high/moderate/low fat, etc. I personally get about 50-60% of my calories from carbohydrates, 20-30% from fat, and the rest from protein. I don't stress about any individual day, I just try to stay in balance for the rolling week. I know from experience that this works best for me, your personal ranges may be different than mine.

Have you tried just tracking the way you'd like to eat, seeing where those macros fall, and then making adjustments if you're too low in protein or fat?

I am vegan and gluten-free as well. I don't focus on the macros, but can see I am running about 60/20/20. For me, making sure I get a *lot* of fresh vegetables has been far more helpful in having the weight come off.