How do you get motivation at difficult times?

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inconversant
inconversant Posts: 16
in Motivation and Support
I really want to lose weight and I have been trying, been exercising and eating less (healthier too) but I keep losing my motivation.

my sob story: i've been kinda depressed for the past month or so because i had a 3-year relationship end and it was kinda messy. each time I think back and I get the rush of memories, I tend to kind of push myself away from getting healthy. I don't feel like exercising or getting out of bed and I snack more (with unhealthy foods).

how do overcome that and how do you MFPers deal with situations that get you off-track?

Replies

  • vanessaclarkgbr
    vanessaclarkgbr Posts: 765 Member
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    Sounds like a bit of mild depression which is understandable, as you are going through something horrible at the moment, but there will be light at the end of the tunnel, honestly there will. I'd recommend taking away all the excuses, have your gym bag ready at all times, book out your exercise time in your diary etc etc and really go and exercise. You must get your diet right and (I know from when my marriage broke up) the last thing you want to do is exercise. I did make myself though (4 times a week and I'm sure I could have done more) but hand on heart it was the best thing I did. I can literally remember a time when I was on the treadmill thinking, right, I don't care, I can get through this...and that is certainly not how I felt before I went on. You honestly need it, you need the endorphins to clear your head, help you to make plans and help you to sleep. I promise it will get better (and, btw, a lot of coupled up ladies are jealous of the single girls, it can be a load of fun once you've adapted!) I wish you lots of luck and happiness xx
  • 1013arleen
    1013arleen Posts: 4
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    Talkng to friends and pushing through. You might have to really push to motivate yourself again, but once you do, you will start feeling better about the situation and yourself. It is always tough to get out of a relationship, but, use this to your advantage as a fresh start to get to where you want...and of course you are allowed to be upset for a bit.
  • Chairless
    Chairless Posts: 588 Member
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    People react to things differently. My weight loss journey had started before but it was the end of a 10 year relationship that became the impetus to take it seriously and get myself on track.

    Its got to be about you, and making yourself feel better about you! Once the ball is rolling it gets easier to stay on track.
  • MrsWilsoncroft
    MrsWilsoncroft Posts: 969 Member
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    It's not always easy to lose weight when you are stressed or have things on your mind. Sorry to hear about your relationship..
    You have to just think of the positive things, why you want to lose weight, what makes you feel good about losing weight & if you have already lost weight look back at old photos when you were bigger, I always find these motivating.

    Also having other friends on here and personal friends who are dieting too are a great motivation for helping you keep on track.
    I hope you get through this difficult time soon.
    I have also been stressed the last few months, different situation to you as its about work, i had some really bad weeks but got myself back on track now.
    I have helped myself by planning my meals ahead & making sure I have got all the right foods in.
    Also taking up a new exercise has helped me, I now do alot of walking and each week try and do more and more. xxxx
  • johnhowson
    johnhowson Posts: 73 Member
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    It can be very hard to keep going on anything when you hit on troubled times.
    Really sorry about your relationship, but you need to be positive and work with the good things you have today!
    Look forward to better to come.
    Also regular exercise (i.e. more than 20 mins per day) will help to fight the depression and get our of the negative cycle (because when you are depressed you also don't feel motivated to do the exercise and feel more lethargic etc).
    Also just know that your friends will be with you and willing you on even though it may not feel like that sometimes.
    Good luck - you can do it!
  • carita1980
    carita1980 Posts: 9
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    throughout the last ten years or so i have been wanting to lose weight, all the numerous times i have tried i gave up after a couple weeks, most of it was stress and relationship issues, although i wanted to lose the weight i found it more motivating while having relationship issues because now i can prove them all wrong, i did follow through with something and did put my heart and soul into it. turn the stress around to push you through, and if you can turn your pain into anger or motivation then you should be fine. when the memories invade your mind, counteract them with not so good memories and that might help you push through and work even harder. not sure if this all came out right, hope it makes sense to you, send a friend request if you are needing some daily motivation and friends for support in all aspects of life not just this one. hope all goes well for you.
  • riccolesmana
    riccolesmana Posts: 6
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    how long have you been work out anyway? well, if you feel depressed, you should motivate your self like this: I gotta work out a lot to tone up my body, so I don't have to look guys every single time. there will be a lot cute guys notice you :)

    remember, it's just a long process, don't get discouraged.
  • sandislim
    sandislim Posts: 264
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    I've gone through very dark patches where I've found it difficult to stick to a diet or exercise plan. Its awful when you are in that state of mind because nothing seems to help. Even when I asked family members for help it didn't really help me, it just made things worse. I knew what I had to do, they knew what I had to do - but the problem was putting it in to practice, getting motivated.

    There are a few things that helped me get back on track.

    Making sure I had a support system. MFP is great, plus I've booked an appointment with my doctor to dicuss some issues.
    Making sure I eat vegetables every day. I feel terrible if I don't and it leads to a pessimistic view.
    Making sure I drink plenty of water. (Same issue as above)
    Giving myself a pat on the back with treat days, keeping a record of all the exercise I've done and showing it to people I can trust to make a big deal about it.
    Going low carb (paleo not atkins) this was the biggest deal for me. When I'm low carb, I don't eat when I'm stressed/depressed - I'm not sure why this is but its a great help to me and it doesn't lead to the usual depressed-eat-even more depressed cycle which I usually find myself on.

    Don't get me wrong though, I don't think I'm totally out of the woods. But you could try a few things and see what works for you. You are important and you're worth the effort to try :-)

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