Getting up and getting started....... AGAIN

I've spent every last penny of my paycheck on food. Figures! Can't complain, as much as I loooove Taco bell, my cooking blows it out of the water. I've spent the last 3 years working two jobs. A year of it I worked AT LEAST 8 hours 7 days a week, and then slowly turned it into just 5 consecutive 13.5 hour shifts. I used this as an excuse, I pretty good one I still must admit. I didn't want to get up early and workout and I didn't want to come home and cook. Taco Bell and many other fast food restaurants and be my ally for years! Tuesday, the 23rd, will be a month since I quit the second job and start school the following Monday (Back to a two job schedule), I WILL NOT succumb to the busy schedule and the big butt again! The eating healthy is easy. Simple fix, spent all my money on groceries and I have nothing for the drive thru. The working out is the hard part. Trying to do it after work, as most articles state, is harder than getting up. You're tired and just want to relax. The getting up in the morning is just a difficult. I don't do mornings. We're like the opposite ends of a magnet! The only solution I can think of is asking my boyfriend to come over and taser me out of bed. Then he MUST run away! Kinda like ding dong ditch, but tase and ditch. I've read blogs about tips on getting up and everyone pretty much says the same thing, MAKE YOURSELF.... Yeah, ok! I've got a job where I've been late the 6 years, not something I proud of, but I unfortunately, and obviously lack the self control to get up in the morning. SOMEONE HELP ME....or loan me you taser for a few months!