Mental Health Discussion

Odd_Equestrian
Odd_Equestrian Posts: 43 Member
edited November 29 in Chit-Chat
So I can't find any other threads about mental health, specifically...so I am making one.

I have very poor mental health, and it affects my life tremendously. I suffer from manic depression, social anxiety, and I am a select mute when it gets bad enough. Because of this, I am known to be considered odd, mean, or unapproachable.

Right now, I am mute. I cannot unmute myself, as it is pretty much involuntary. I have things I want to say, but I physically cannot make myself say anything. It's like being trapped under water; you want to scream, but your body won't let you for fear of taking on water. I feel like I am trapped under thick ice, pounding and wanting to scream, but no one can hear me. I've even written and closed this thread multiple times because my thumb does not want me to press that "post" button.

My silence is usually read as stubbornness or being content, but it's rarely the case. Sometimes it takes me days to come out of it.

This is a place that I wanted to make available to people to pour their hearts out about what they're going through. I want you to be heard. Even if it's just a rant....

Replies

  • Cahgetsfit
    Cahgetsfit Posts: 1,912 Member
    writing is a good way to get *kitten* out. I use my MFP as a sort of diary. So I can rant/rave/be depressed/be super happy/etc in a "safe" setting (my friends all know i'm a psycho) and get it all out here and not in real life to real people.

    Have you tried journaling?
  • mtndewme
    mtndewme Posts: 724 Member
    I can so relate. People are forever calling me mean and weird but I'm scared of the entire world *kitten*!
  • admaarie
    admaarie Posts: 4,297 Member
    I can relate to you on so many levels. I never thought of myself as mute as I’m usually not, but lately whenever things get bad enough I find myself unable to even say anything. For hours.
  • emmietoby
    emmietoby Posts: 172 Member
    I can so relate. I have been in treatment since I was in grammar school I am now 66 years of age . I have battled depression, eating disorder have been inpt many, may times I am very anxious and when I'm under. stress I find it hard to sit still. If anyone would like to friend me please do. I find it helpful to talk to others who know where I'm coming from.we can help each other!
  • amorfati601070
    amorfati601070 Posts: 2,890 Member
    edited November 2018
    Nicksmom106 wrote: »
    Im so proud of you all! Especially proud of you @Odd_Equestrian for starting a thread like this...one never knows til they bravely ask. You aren't alone. People care, people are going through the same *kitten* and this is a safe environment to release some stress and express yourself.

    I for one, am listening friends! Big hugs for your strength and perseverance!!!

    My child has no words or not many really due to autism and I try to find outlets and other ways he can express his feelings....his is music and his humor...I've taught him ways to let me know things, it's important to express yourselves no matter how you can...screw the others who can't understand...you're doing the right thing💕,

    Mute, autistic, nonverbal, quirky, mean, rude....all just labels that don't define who you are., No one but you walks a day in your shoes.....and no matter what you may be different if express yourself differently but you are not less than ....never ever ever less than!😘🤗👍❤💙💚💛💜YOU'RE AWESOME!!!

    Hugs!
    Ali

    This is all very sound advice. I know its hard but you need to find some outlet to express yourself. It is very unhealthy to bottle up and then explode. Human beings are social creatures and I am sure there are many others that are in the same boat. I struggle with small talk but have to do it as a part of my job, its a skill and can be practiced. This is why I suggest you find a hobby, interest or cause you are passionate about because it will be easier to and even enjoyable to talk about the subject. You will find like minded people too. For meit was bicycles and helping animals.

    Philosophy had also helped me in the past, Stoicism and Buddhism teachings help with keeping perspective.

    “ Don’t waste the rest of your time here worrying about
    other people—unless it affects the common good. It will
    keep you from doing anything useful. You’ll be too
    preoccupied with what so-and-so is doing, and why, and
    what they’re saying, and what they’re thinking, and what
    they’re up to, and all the other things that throw you off and
    keep you from focusing on your own mind.”

    Marcus Aurelius
  • Odd_Equestrian
    Odd_Equestrian Posts: 43 Member
    That's good advice. I work with horses a lot. I am really passionate about that. There's a girl who brings me coffee a lot at one of the rescues but I know it's for the wrong reasons...I connect way better with animals than people though.
  • DawnOfTheDead_Lift
    DawnOfTheDead_Lift Posts: 753 Member
    That really sucks...hopefully the forums provide a good outlet. I had what was probably undiagnosed depression and it was hell
  • amorfati601070
    amorfati601070 Posts: 2,890 Member
    Odd_Equestrian wrote: »
    That's good advice. I work with horses a lot. I am really passionate about that. There's a girl who brings me coffee a lot at one of the rescues but I know it's for the wrong reasons...I connect way better with animals than people though.

    Same, animals truly love you for who you are and are non judgemental. I miss my pug so much.
  • sniper300_Rum
    sniper300_Rum Posts: 1,073 Member
    Well mental depression is not fun ive went through( kinda still going through it) and most people dont even know that the person is until its to late
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,966 Member
    edited November 2018
    Sorry you're going through that. Hopefully the forums provide you with a space you feel comfortable communicating with other people. I have social anxiety, some days it's worse than others. Most people just think I don't like them. But doesn't really compare to selective mutism, which I had never heard of, I just googled it.
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