Why wont my lover go exercising with me!

liza27201424
liza27201424 Posts: 69
edited October 1 in Motivation and Support
So my fiancee works all day, sometimes nights walking on his feet all day, dealing with lumber, helping customers etc.
So he is obviously tired and sore understandable
Is is unfair to want him to come on walks or runs with me?
They are like 30min tops, I just hate going alone, and our best conversations are when we go on walks together
because he isnt distracted by anything
And my friends arent really the exercising type
He will say he is so tired and doesnt want to do anything
yet he will go on the computer or his phone goofing off for endless hours??

I need some advice

Replies

  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
    I work on my feet all day too and honestly, there are some nights when I am just too dang tired to take another walk or run.

    I want to come home, sit in front of my computer or tv and do NOTHING.
  • cessnaholly
    cessnaholly Posts: 780 Member
    Sounds like he needs/wants some man cave time. Mine does the same thing. So I let him have a little while and then ask him once he's had a little time to himself. Sometimes it works. Sometimes not. Depends on how hard his day was.
  • Katiemarie4488
    Katiemarie4488 Posts: 242 Member
    Dont Push him.... if he does not want to walk/jog with you.... bugging him to do it will only cause un necessary frustrations after a long day at work
  • red01angel
    red01angel Posts: 806 Member
    Have you told him what you told us? Make sure he knows how important it is to you.
    Also, it wouldn't hurt to find a way to reward him for going with you...





    PS: The topic of this thread reminds me of that Will Farrell/Rachael Dratch skit on SNL...love it.
  • karensoxfan
    karensoxfan Posts: 902 Member
    I think a few walks a week seems reasonable, but runs might just be too much exertion for him. Maybe you could agree on a # of days to walk together, and then let him pick which days he goes, and which days he stays home?
  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
    I need some advice
    Do his job for a week and see whether you feel like walking after that.

    But if he's spending all his home time online or on the phone to friends, to the point where he's neglecting to spend any quality time with you, you'll have to tell him straight that you need some of his time.
  • lanettecream
    lanettecream Posts: 12
    Keep inviting him, but get some music and learn to enjoy it. I carry pepper spray. You have to do what is right for you, and you can't force someone else to change if they aren't ready to. Get out and set a good example, and just keep asking. Accept no, smile, and get on out there!
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
    I would like to work out with my wife, but she likes to do it on her own schedule.
    She works out more than me though, so if we did work out together it would be tough.
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
    Also, it wouldn't hurt to find a way to reward him for going with you...

    READ: BJ's
  • red01angel
    red01angel Posts: 806 Member
    Also, it wouldn't hurt to find a way to reward him for going with you...

    READ: BJ's

    Precisely.
  • Amo_Angelus
    Amo_Angelus Posts: 604 Member
    There's a difference between running for half an hour and goofing around on the internet for hours. Running is tiring, goofing is not for a tart >_< It's very elfish of you to try and make him come out with you so You feel better when he' obviously tired and doesn't want to. He's even told you he' too tired but YOU want him to come with YOU so YOU feel better about YOUR workout. Which part of this is in his bet interest? None of it. As such it's entirely selfish.
  • JoanWill
    JoanWill Posts: 217
    He may just want to be able to do something that he wants to do on his own. An activity that nobody required/requested him to do. In short, a time to himself.
  • AmerTunsi
    AmerTunsi Posts: 655 Member
    I think you should say exactly what you just said in this post to him. Communication is key.
  • SimplyFreckled
    SimplyFreckled Posts: 444 Member
    Give the working man a break, he works hard for that green paper! Why don't you just walk to the kitchen and make him a sandwich?! 2 birds.. 1 stone!
  • mpcass
    mpcass Posts: 86
    I work on my feet all day too, and exercising in the evening is the only time I have so I do it. I have found that if I come home change and go to work out it is better for me. However if I get home and sit down I'm done for the night. So, maybe. If you make it like a date as soon as he gets home, before relaxation mode settles in, it might work better for both you. Hope this helps.
  • pandabuhr79
    pandabuhr79 Posts: 19
    yeah it sounds like he just wants/needs to unwind w/ online/tv and stuff. my husband gets like that and i for SURE get like that, especially after a long day - i don't want to talk or even be bothered to humor him when he's all chatty cathy. i mean i DO it, but MAN i just want to catch up on my crappy tv and let my brain rest for a min. maybe think of your walks as good alone time for you when he doesn't go with you? maybe bring an ipod or something w/ a new album on it to enjoy? i guess just try to put yourself in his shoes. :)
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    I need some advice
    Do his job for a week and see whether you feel like walking after that.

    But if he's spending all his home time online or on the phone to friends, to the point where he's neglecting to spend any quality time with you, you'll have to tell him straight that you need some of his time.

    My advice exactly.

    My husband works a physically demanding job. I don't expect him to keep my company while I work out. He's exhausted when he gets home.

    In the past, when I had a physically demanding job, I enjoyed walking the dog after work as a way to clear my head. But that's me, not him and not your fiance. Different people unwind in different ways.
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
    Give the working man a break, he works hard for that green paper! Why don't you just walk to the kitchen and make him a sandwich?! 2 birds.. 1 stone!

    Wouldn't that be one bird(rooster) and 2 stones?
  • Chastityx
    Chastityx Posts: 192 Member
    There's a difference between running for half an hour and goofing around on the internet for hours. Running is tiring, goofing is not for a tart >_< It's very elfish of you to try and make him come out with you so You feel better when he' obviously tired and doesn't want to. He's even told you he' too tired but YOU want him to come with YOU so YOU feel better about YOUR workout. Which part of this is in his bet interest? None of it. As such it's entirely selfish.

    My husband works in 100+ degree weather all day, helps with the kids and dinner, and told me he would walk with me and support me in any way even though he thinks I would still be sexy if I gained another 50 lbs! It is a great time to spend together without all the distractions.
  • lailenm
    lailenm Posts: 203 Member
    Whenever I suggest going for a walk or something to my boyfriend, he turns it down, but I put on my shoes, grab my iPod and do it anyway 'cause I know I gotta do this for me, even if I would enjoy some company every now and again.
  • forme2310
    forme2310 Posts: 157 Member
    Hi I also have a partner that works on his feet all day and he don t like to exercise with me either. Pushing him will turn him away from ever going with you. But I would tell him how you feel about the communication. As far as the exercising go what about a dog or do you like music that may help you to exercise. I take my music to the gym or when I go for a walk I know its not the same as talking to someone but it sure works. The exercising is helping you even though it would help him he has to be ready to do it.
  • jpaden
    jpaden Posts: 21
    You have to interested in your health for you, it isn't your fiancee's responsibility to accompany you. You might enjoy the company but if you want to reach your goals, then you have to know that you have to do it alone. Sounds more like its a good excuse not to go on those walks because he doesn't want to go with you.
  • hairsnob610
    hairsnob610 Posts: 15
    It sounds like it's more the quality time you want from him, not really the walk. I can appreciate that one! If he's off on the wknds, maybe you can have the walks with him then, but maybe get your normal workout in before that and just have nice slow walk. Let him decide how to spend time with you during the rest of the week. good luck!
  • Bronx_Montgomery
    Bronx_Montgomery Posts: 2,284 Member
    I know exactly how you feel. It's def hard when your significant other is not as dedicated as you are. You just have to take it slow. Nit seems his job is demanding and he comes home completely exhausted. I would just mention every once in a while hey would you like to go for a walk/jog with me? Especially if it's nice out. If he says no say ok and walk away. The worst thing you can do is keep begging.n doing so would make him not want to. Plus just focus on kicking that jogs *kitten* on your own. Once he sees the changes it has done to your body I'm sure he would want to join
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