Social eating
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coderdan82
Posts: 133 Member
Does anyone feel like their social life is at odds with their calorie counting efforts? We had a celebratory lunch yesterday at work at an all-you-can-eat sushi place, I had no idea how to put some of that stuff into MFP. Today I'm going to my nephew's birthday party, there will be home made food there that will be difficult or impossible to log as well. Tomorrow I'm visiting my parents, same problem. Next weekend I'm visiting some more family, same problem. What do you do in these situations? Do you carry around a small scale or something? I usually end up not logging at all and my weight always ends up spiking on the weekends.
I also find it hard to socialize at work. Everyone always eats out, and I mean everyone, every day. Most of the places they go to don't even provide nutritional info. I brown-bag my carefully measured and prepared lunch and usually eat alone.
I also find it hard to socialize at work. Everyone always eats out, and I mean everyone, every day. Most of the places they go to don't even provide nutritional info. I brown-bag my carefully measured and prepared lunch and usually eat alone.
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Replies
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I think the value in logging food comes in the ability to assess how big a portion really is for XXX number of calories.
Of course everyone has to deal with social eating, so knowing how big a portion to serve yourself or to intake is important knowledge. That awareness comes with time logging meals at home. It is a learned skill.
Sometimes I make sure I've eaten before the event so I'm not tempted to over-eat. Sometimes I don't even eat at the event, sometimes I guess. I always try to log as accurately as I can. Some people just don't log these things and try to stay on track the rest of the week. You can take a picture of whatever you eat if you want to log it later.
If you're stepping on the scale and keeping track of your weight, you'll know if you're over or under-estimating by a lot. I figure even with a digital scale and eating most meals at home I'm still way off on calories eaten every week.6 -
Eating out or over at friend/family’s place can be challenging. Being mindful of portion sizes is probably the easiest way to keep it from getting off track. And don’t be afraid to say no to certain things - like dessert. If it’s not a sit-down dinner event then sometimes I won’t have anything or just snack on some veggies.4
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Many restaurant's foods are already in the data base. If not, pick the one closest to what you think it is. Guess about how many ounces. Logging anything is better than nothing but make sure you include every single food and condiment. It may be off a bit but it is still holding you accountable. When going to restaurants just do the same. If you are low calorie just watch your portion sizes and try to include a salad or something lower calorie. If you are low carb, consider ordering breakfast. It's cheaper and easily fits into your macros. It is easy to look up 2 eggs scrambled for example. I hope this helps.2
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When eating out for celebrations I opt to eat at/near maintenance for that day. I do my best but don’t sweat it too much. I do try to make mindful choices and limit portion sizes. But celebrations are infrequent enough for me that it hasn’t caused me too much trouble.
If eating out socially but not part of a celebration, I try to work in extra exercise during the day and generally opt for soup/salad combo. I skip dessert usually and have a glass of wine instead of a higher calorie cocktail. However some places have “skinny cocktails” which can be fun to try.3 -
I zigzag or bank calories once a week for this very reason.
Yesterday had a breakfast with one friend out then an early dinner with another set of friends so I went out to eat twice yesterday:(
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Logging is a tool and a means to an end, not an end in and of itself. Your body will always log the calories you eat, whether you are able to put it in the MFP database or not. When I eat out, I usually try to find something similar in the database to give myself a general idea, but I don't go crazy if I can't accurately log everything. I try to make the best decisions and estimate based on all of the knowledge of foods and calories I have accumulated from logging so far, to get it as close as I can, whether I actually put in in my log or not.
As far as a weight gain spike after you have these meals, remember that many restaurant meals are very high in sodium, so the spike you see is likely mostly water weight, not actual fat gain, which should go away after a couple of days of getting back on track eating wise.5 -
I'd just enter a higher amount than what you think it is as a quick add. If there's no way you could have eaten 3000 calories that day then enter it and then get back on the wagon tomorrow. And also how much you eat doesn't display or determine your personal commitment to anyone. Your time and personal connection does. Have a cup of soup and half sandwich when everyone else wants four plates. Who cares?! If they do they are innocent enablers so watch out.1
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During the weeks I always stay under 100-200 calories. Basically every Saturday i have some type of social event, tonight it is the neighborhood chrisrmas party. I went to the gym for over an hour this morning, and planned out what I think I will eat and drink tonight already. I've learned I can easily binge eat thousands of calories if I go without a plan, so I always guess ahead of time and then alter as I go.3
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I agree with what everyone says about logging, but something that has been crucial to me was learning that I don’t “have to” eat anything.
I don’t have to eat chips just because there’s a bowl of them out. I don’t have to take a huge serving of anything, nor do I have to try some of everything. I can leave food un-ordered, un-asked for, and uneaten. I get to decide what I put in my mouth, because I’m the one who has to live in my body.
It doesn’t have to be a big deal. Smile, be pleasant, nurse whatever you’re eating so people don’t keep offering you more, and master phrases like, “Oh, yes, I had some and it’s amazing! Did you use bay?” or “It looks so good! I’m definitely going to have to try it” for when they do. You can be engaged and enthusiastic about food without eating yourself sick.
Stay mindful of your eating. Eat what you actually want.12 -
coderdan82 wrote: »Does anyone feel like their social life is at odds with their calorie counting efforts? We had a celebratory lunch yesterday at work at an all-you-can-eat sushi place, I had no idea how to put some of that stuff into MFP. Today I'm going to my nephew's birthday party, there will be home made food there that will be difficult or impossible to log as well. Tomorrow I'm visiting my parents, same problem. Next weekend I'm visiting some more family, same problem. What do you do in these situations? Do you carry around a small scale or something? I usually end up not logging at all and my weight always ends up spiking on the weekends.
I also find it hard to socialize at work. Everyone always eats out, and I mean everyone, every day. Most of the places they go to don't even provide nutritional info. I brown-bag my carefully measured and prepared lunch and usually eat alone.
I'm not willing to give up a social life permanently to maintain weight, so I wasn't willing to give it up to lose weight. I had to develop new strategies. In year 3 of maintenance, I'm still using them:
* Eat a little under goal most of the time to allow some over-goal days.
* Accept that truly special celebrations are best enjoyed by indulging freely (it's a blip in the big picture).
* Don't do rude things in social situations to monitor intake (I will occasionally discreetly snap a photo (no flash!) of food with my phone in a busy situation where having one's phone out isn't automatically rude, to help me estimate later).
* Use the database entries for whole finished dishes to estimate foods at other people's homes or non-chain restaurants, picking entries on the higher side from the database. I'll sometimes log extra cheese or butter or something if it seems reasonable.
* Be reasonable about choices and portions. After a period of time logging at home, I had a clue.
* Occasionally, when I think it may be especially important and only if it can be done with absolute politeness, ask about a dish I'm consuming at someone's home: "Oh my gosh, this is so delicious! Do you use sour cream in it? Can I have your recipe?"
* Look at restaurant menus online before I go there, to identify the best thing to order, in advance. For places I go regularly with colleagues, I usually have a standard go-to.
* At restaurants, I know that most sit-down places will do substitutions or leave things out, make up a plate of just veggie sides, etc. I often order sandwiches without the bun and that sort of thing. If I don't make a big issue of it, and am noncommital/polite/brief/boring if friends ask about it, it's no big deal socially. "Ate a big lunch" or "don't love that kind of bun" or whatever.
* Don't use "Oh Noez! I can't log!" as an excuse to run wild, unless I truly make an informed choice to run wild.
As others said, extra carbs or salt (even if a fine amount, just more than normal) will cause a scale-weight spike, but I've been daily-weighing long enough to know that it'll pass quickly.
It's doable. Drama is optional.
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I don't really have a social life /cry
Seriously though..... I don't..........
Used to go out with family every friday and I can't now. I do keto and with how many people go out with us (there are a bunch of us), we're limited on where we can go and those places usually don't have anything keto friendly so I just end up staying home.
It sucks b/c I want to go out and visit and NOT cook but the hell if I want to pay for some overpriced tiny salad b/c it's the only thing that I can eat on the menu. And I know what some will say... Oh It's just ONE meal. My body does not do well on cheats and it stalls me.. so it's not JUST anything.
It gets frustrating as heck, but... my health comes first right now. Once I'm at my goal and in maintenance, I'll ease up on my restrictions then, but until then... just gotta come to terms that I can't just go out and get something quick. That I can't have all the yummy comfort foods that are associated with group gatherings. I'll still go to birthday parties and whatnot, but I won't be eating most of what is available.1 -
I usually eat before I go to many of these events. Grab a little something at the event and carry on. Really not a big deal.2
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coderdan82 wrote: »Does anyone feel like their social life is at odds with their calorie counting efforts? We had a celebratory lunch yesterday at work at an all-you-can-eat sushi place, I had no idea how to put some of that stuff into MFP. Today I'm going to my nephew's birthday party, there will be home made food there that will be difficult or impossible to log as well. Tomorrow I'm visiting my parents, same problem. Next weekend I'm visiting some more family, same problem. What do you do in these situations? Do you carry around a small scale or something? I usually end up not logging at all and my weight always ends up spiking on the weekends.
I also find it hard to socialize at work. Everyone always eats out, and I mean everyone, every day. Most of the places they go to don't even provide nutritional info. I brown-bag my carefully measured and prepared lunch and usually eat alone.
One of the things about food is that it's a social event. Few people "eat alone" all the time. Food brings people together!
Maybe you could talk with whomever sets these things up and ask if they could select places that have a menu friendly to people on restricted diets or that has their calorie count on the menu? Or, perhaps, see if they will tell you about the place in advance so you can check out the online menu (many places do this now) and calculate ahead of time?
I will be honest, we have a church class party coming up on next Saturday and I decided to stop caring what anyone else does and do whatever I have to. I have a serious health issue that affects my eating. So, while others are munching on subway stuff, I will take my own sandwich from home and, for the side we're supposed to bring, I will be bringing a Waldorf Salad, adjusted for lower sodium.
This time of year is very difficult for those with highly restrictive food plans. And as much as it would be nice to have others cater to our needs, it really isn't fair to ask. So maybe nobody will mind if you just sit with a cup of coffee or tea or nibble at a plate of meat and veggies instead. But do what you have to FOR YOU.
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I don't really have a social life /cry
Seriously though..... I don't..........
Used to go out with family every friday and I can't now. I do keto and with how many people go out with us (there are a bunch of us), we're limited on where we can go and those places usually don't have anything keto friendly so I just end up staying home.
It sucks b/c I want to go out and visit and NOT cook but the hell if I want to pay for some overpriced tiny salad b/c it's the only thing that I can eat on the menu. And I know what some will say... Oh It's just ONE meal. My body does not do well on cheats and it stalls me.. so it's not JUST anything.
It gets frustrating as heck, but... my health comes first right now. Once I'm at my goal and in maintenance, I'll ease up on my restrictions then, but until then... just gotta come to terms that I can't just go out and get something quick. That I can't have all the yummy comfort foods that are associated with group gatherings. I'll still go to birthday parties and whatnot, but I won't be eating most of what is available.
Where do you go? I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how easy it’s been to eat out on keto. Salads are rarely the best option, though, unless they have a Cobb. Just today I had a great burger, where I asked for greens instead of fries and left the bun. At my parents’ favorite Indian place I had chicken in cream sauce and saag paneer; I just skipped the rice and the naan. Diners have omelets, usually all day. Pizza places are probably the toughest, but the one near us does a great loaded cheesesteak—just pretend the bun is a bowl.
Restaurants notoriously sneak fat into every nook and cranny, which sucks for calories but is perfect for keto. Once you break out of the “healthy eating means lettuce” mindset (and come to terms with leaving some things on your plate), keto is surprisingly compatible with a social life.
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FlyingMolly wrote: »I don't really have a social life /cry
Seriously though..... I don't..........
Used to go out with family every friday and I can't now. I do keto and with how many people go out with us (there are a bunch of us), we're limited on where we can go and those places usually don't have anything keto friendly so I just end up staying home.
It sucks b/c I want to go out and visit and NOT cook but the hell if I want to pay for some overpriced tiny salad b/c it's the only thing that I can eat on the menu. And I know what some will say... Oh It's just ONE meal. My body does not do well on cheats and it stalls me.. so it's not JUST anything.
It gets frustrating as heck, but... my health comes first right now. Once I'm at my goal and in maintenance, I'll ease up on my restrictions then, but until then... just gotta come to terms that I can't just go out and get something quick. That I can't have all the yummy comfort foods that are associated with group gatherings. I'll still go to birthday parties and whatnot, but I won't be eating most of what is available.
Where do you go? I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how easy it’s been to eat out on keto. Salads are rarely the best option, though, unless they have a Cobb. Just today I had a great burger, where I asked for greens instead of fries and left the bun. At my parents’ favorite Indian place I had chicken in cream sauce and saag paneer; I just skipped the rice and the naan. Diners have omelets, usually all day. Pizza places are probably the toughest, but the one near us does a great loaded cheesesteak—just pretend the bun is a bowl.
Restaurants notoriously sneak fat into every nook and cranny, which sucks for calories but is perfect for keto. Once you break out of the “healthy eating means lettuce” mindset (and come to terms with leaving some things on your plate), keto is surprisingly compatible with a social life.
I wish there were more options but there aren't. Like last night. They wanted to go to this specific Chinese place, but ALL the Chinese places here sell Americanized Chinese food. Ones that are battered and deep fried or that are covered in some sugary corn starchy sauce.
Went to a wings place the other week with family. Thought we'd be ok and even asked if their bone in wings were coated at all. Told, No so that's what we got. Turns out, yep, they had a light dusting of flour on them.
When my husband's friend visited, we even went to Zaxby's b/c their wings used to be safe, but NOPE... the one we went to also had a light dusting of flour on them.
There's a seafood place they like going to as well. They have good grilled options, BUT the seafood part is a tiny portion and the rest of the plate is filler carbs. Rice, bread, hushpuppies, etc so it's not worth it if we can't eat the majority of what you get and that place doesn't do substitutions either.
We're really limited on where we can go since it's Friday night and everywhere is busy and we have non-adventurous eaters.
It's just been easier not going out unfortunately.1 -
For me, the key to social eating is to NOT mention the fact that I'm limiting calories, and then just take very small portions of everything. I often won't finish certain foods, but when you've taken only a tiny bit to begin with, the wastage isn't bad. When you don't call attention to what you're eating, nobody notices. (Excepting mothers, possibly, which is a whole other challenge.) As someone above mentioned, it's easy to just keep a bit of everything on your plate and deflect with compliments. I've even resorted to smuggling a starchy food like bread into a napkin and into my purse, so that it looks like I ate it. (I feed it to the birds later.) In general, though, nobody is paying attention.
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FlyingMolly wrote: »I don't really have a social life /cry
Seriously though..... I don't..........
Used to go out with family every friday and I can't now. I do keto and with how many people go out with us (there are a bunch of us), we're limited on where we can go and those places usually don't have anything keto friendly so I just end up staying home.
It sucks b/c I want to go out and visit and NOT cook but the hell if I want to pay for some overpriced tiny salad b/c it's the only thing that I can eat on the menu. And I know what some will say... Oh It's just ONE meal. My body does not do well on cheats and it stalls me.. so it's not JUST anything.
It gets frustrating as heck, but... my health comes first right now. Once I'm at my goal and in maintenance, I'll ease up on my restrictions then, but until then... just gotta come to terms that I can't just go out and get something quick. That I can't have all the yummy comfort foods that are associated with group gatherings. I'll still go to birthday parties and whatnot, but I won't be eating most of what is available.
Where do you go? I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how easy it’s been to eat out on keto. Salads are rarely the best option, though, unless they have a Cobb. Just today I had a great burger, where I asked for greens instead of fries and left the bun. At my parents’ favorite Indian place I had chicken in cream sauce and saag paneer; I just skipped the rice and the naan. Diners have omelets, usually all day. Pizza places are probably the toughest, but the one near us does a great loaded cheesesteak—just pretend the bun is a bowl.
Restaurants notoriously sneak fat into every nook and cranny, which sucks for calories but is perfect for keto. Once you break out of the “healthy eating means lettuce” mindset (and come to terms with leaving some things on your plate), keto is surprisingly compatible with a social life.
I wish there were more options but there aren't. Like last night. They wanted to go to this specific Chinese place, but ALL the Chinese places here sell Americanized Chinese food. Ones that are battered and deep fried or that are covered in some sugary corn starchy sauce.
Went to a wings place the other week with family. Thought we'd be ok and even asked if their bone in wings were coated at all. Told, No so that's what we got. Turns out, yep, they had a light dusting of flour on them.
When my husband's friend visited, we even went to Zaxby's b/c their wings used to be safe, but NOPE... the one we went to also had a light dusting of flour on them.
There's a seafood place they like going to as well. They have good grilled options, BUT the seafood part is a tiny portion and the rest of the plate is filler carbs. Rice, bread, hushpuppies, etc so it's not worth it if we can't eat the majority of what you get and that place doesn't do substitutions either.
We're really limited on where we can go since it's Friday night and everywhere is busy and we have non-adventurous eaters.
It's just been easier not going out unfortunately.
I worked in a full-service restaurant for decades.
There's is no reason you have to eat anything at all in a restaurant. I mean, obviously don't go in by yourself and sit there for two hours with just a water but in a group there are often one or more people not eating.
Or, you can order anything they have in the kitchen. Just a piece of fish and some veggie side with cheese or butter.
A piece of chicken. Like one piece, and maybe some ranch dressing. Wings can be fried without flour. They can go ask if they don't know a price (if you ask for something off-menu.) We did that all the time. You can have a plate with cheese, olives, and meat.
They want you to be happy. If it's in the kitchen they can make it, if they don't or won't then don't eat anything. You've decided on a self-limiting life, it's no one's fault but yours. Be politely assertive and live your life.
You are certainly not the only Keto practicing customer going to restaurants these days. The kitchen is used to special orders.
Any restaurant these days that doesn't do substitutions (yes, it may cost the customer a bit more) is really limiting their customer base. They must be super successful at their niche if that's the case.
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For me, the key to social eating is to NOT mention the fact that I'm limiting calories, and then just take very small portions of everything. I often won't finish certain foods, but when you've taken only a tiny bit to begin with, the wastage isn't bad. When you don't call attention to what you're eating, nobody notices. (Excepting mothers, possibly, which is a whole other challenge.) As someone above mentioned, it's easy to just keep a bit of everything on your plate and deflect with compliments. I've even resorted to smuggling a starchy food like bread into a napkin and into my purse, so that it looks like I ate it. (I feed it to the birds later.) In general, though, nobody is paying attention.
My mother is such a food pusher, lol. She offers me everything in the house. I know she is just being hospitable, thought, so just take what I really want.
Fortunately for my calorie budget, she's big on low calorie vegetables, and as long as she sees me with a plate full of those, she's happy.
A strategy I employ at family buffets is to fill my plate with salad or veggies and when people prompt me to take this or that that I don't want (which happens less when they see my plate is already full) tell them I am saving room for dessert. And since I do want to save room for dessert, this helps me not overeat beforehand.
Sometime over the years I've gotten over the urge to finish off less than serving sizes of food that is left, and can refrigerate it with no qualms. (I'll pair it with something else to make a full serving later.)
(However, it does still hurt my brain when a tiny bit of food is in a large container, but that's another topic.)2 -
FlyingMolly wrote: »I don't really have a social life /cry
Seriously though..... I don't..........
Used to go out with family every friday and I can't now. I do keto and with how many people go out with us (there are a bunch of us), we're limited on where we can go and those places usually don't have anything keto friendly so I just end up staying home.
It sucks b/c I want to go out and visit and NOT cook but the hell if I want to pay for some overpriced tiny salad b/c it's the only thing that I can eat on the menu. And I know what some will say... Oh It's just ONE meal. My body does not do well on cheats and it stalls me.. so it's not JUST anything.
It gets frustrating as heck, but... my health comes first right now. Once I'm at my goal and in maintenance, I'll ease up on my restrictions then, but until then... just gotta come to terms that I can't just go out and get something quick. That I can't have all the yummy comfort foods that are associated with group gatherings. I'll still go to birthday parties and whatnot, but I won't be eating most of what is available.
Where do you go? I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how easy it’s been to eat out on keto. Salads are rarely the best option, though, unless they have a Cobb. Just today I had a great burger, where I asked for greens instead of fries and left the bun. At my parents’ favorite Indian place I had chicken in cream sauce and saag paneer; I just skipped the rice and the naan. Diners have omelets, usually all day. Pizza places are probably the toughest, but the one near us does a great loaded cheesesteak—just pretend the bun is a bowl.
Restaurants notoriously sneak fat into every nook and cranny, which sucks for calories but is perfect for keto. Once you break out of the “healthy eating means lettuce” mindset (and come to terms with leaving some things on your plate), keto is surprisingly compatible with a social life.
I wish there were more options but there aren't. Like last night. They wanted to go to this specific Chinese place, but ALL the Chinese places here sell Americanized Chinese food. Ones that are battered and deep fried or that are covered in some sugary corn starchy sauce.
Went to a wings place the other week with family. Thought we'd be ok and even asked if their bone in wings were coated at all. Told, No so that's what we got. Turns out, yep, they had a light dusting of flour on them.
When my husband's friend visited, we even went to Zaxby's b/c their wings used to be safe, but NOPE... the one we went to also had a light dusting of flour on them.
There's a seafood place they like going to as well. They have good grilled options, BUT the seafood part is a tiny portion and the rest of the plate is filler carbs. Rice, bread, hushpuppies, etc so it's not worth it if we can't eat the majority of what you get and that place doesn't do substitutions either.
We're really limited on where we can go since it's Friday night and everywhere is busy and we have non-adventurous eaters.
It's just been easier not going out unfortunately.
I've never been to an Americanized Chinese restaurant that didn't have naturally low carb options. Here are some tips: https://www.verywellfit.com/low-carb-eating-in-a-chinese-restaurant-2241931
Safest Choices at a Chinese Restaurant
Make these your go-to low-carb items:- Clear thin soups like egg drop, are better choices than other appetizers or thick soups.
- Steamed food, including whole steamed fish or steamed tofu with vegetables, are a good substitute for those that are deep-fried.
- Meat and vegetable combinations with thin, savory sauces can have fewer carbs and added sugar, perhaps 4 grams of carb for the whole dish. Examples would be chicken with mushrooms (in many places), Moo Goo Gai Pan, Szechuan prawns, and curry chicken. Again, use your eyes and taste buds to figure whether the sauce is sweet and/or thick.
- Stir-fried dishes often have only a small amount of sugar or starch, perhaps a gram or two of carb per serving. You may ask whether they can leave out the cornstarch if they normally coat meat with it before stir-frying.
- Black bean sauce does not tend to have as many carbs as some of the others, although there is a very small amount of beans in the sauce.
- Mu shu can be enjoyed without the wrappers as a low-carb choice.
- Walnut chicken is usually not made with starch or sugar.
- Egg foo yung (without gravy) is another good choice.
- For a different choice in Asian cuisine, Mongolian barbecue allows you to choose your meats and vegetables and prepare them to order without adding sugar or starch.
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I'm telling ya. The places around here that we can go to with a large group are not keto friendly. I know there are options out there but we normally don't go to them and duh, of course I've put these restrictions on myself. Im still allowed to be frustrated with it sometimes lol.
And the Chinese places here just.... No. There aren't steamed options that aren't covered in some thickened sauce. The soup is thickened with corn starch and sometimes sweet with sugar. The two places we tried going to battered their wings and add flour to their egg Foo. The place they went to this past Friday is ALL deep fried or sugary thickened sauce.
I'm sure there are a ton of places I could get a very satisfying keto friendly meal, but the limited places we can go with family ...nope.2
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