So, my 4-year-old asked my friend if she was pregnant.

Rae6503
Rae6503 Posts: 6,294 Member
edited October 1 in Health and Weight Loss
She's not. She's probably going to see this post because she's a MFP friend too....

But I feel horrible. Friend has begun her journey here and is doing really well, down 11 pounds I think and I'm very proud of her. She is really committed and seems to have it really figured out. She even limited herself to 2 beers tonight when I had 3 putting me over my goal (and she left the left over beers here for my husband instead of bringing them home with her). Again, I just feel horrible and hate that my child might be the source of any discouragement or sadness.

Replies

  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    Hopefully she will be understanding that this came from a 4 year old! I know that most people will give a kid a "pass" on a comment like this! Either way, hopefully she'll get a little boost to her momentum since she's already doing so well...nothing like a little something to fuel the fire!
  • andreaashell
    andreaashell Posts: 16 Member
    I think that coming from a 4 year old it is okay... my poor, beautiful friend had a 30 something year old ask her that the other day... now that made me mad!
  • Jonalee1977
    Jonalee1977 Posts: 415 Member
    Ah, the brutal honesty of a child. If only they had tact, lol! I'm sure your friend wasn't too offended by it. Congrats to her on her 11 pound loss.

    And if it helps make her feel better, my four-year-old dd said to me, "Mommy, when you walk your butt does this," followed by her alternating moving her hands up & down.

    Yeah, that rocked.
  • Avalonis
    Avalonis Posts: 1,540 Member
    Ah, the brutal honesty of a child. If only they had tact, lol! I'm sure your friend wasn't too offended by it. Congrats to her on her 11 pound loss.

    And if it helps make her feel better, my four-year-old dd said to me, "Mommy, when you walk your butt does this," followed by her alternating moving her hands up & down.

    Yeah, that rocked.

    And then you remember why you love them so much ;)
  • dannylives
    dannylives Posts: 611
    Chill out, the kid is only 4 years old, they dont know anything about anything, dont tell the kid a word. By the way, i remember being a little kid maybe 7 or so and was calling my overweight adult cousin "Miss Piggy" but I remember I meant it in a fun way and wasnt insulting her at all. She was giving me hugs and telling me I was cute and picking me up, it was fun.
  • dracobaby82
    dracobaby82 Posts: 380 Member
    I agree it came from a child... one of the last times I was at the gym for Spin class... in which I went to every week for a couple months an older lady asked me when I was due again... now that hurt. U think I'd be taking spin class when preggo... LOL

    then again it may make her work harder to loose more! It did me :) Cheer up!
  • trekkiebeth
    trekkiebeth Posts: 172
    Chill out, the kid is only 4 years old, they dont know anything about anything, dont tell the kid a word. By the way, i remember being a little kid maybe 7 or so and was calling my overweight adult cousin "Miss Piggy" but I remember I meant it in a fun way and wasnt insulting her at all. She was giving me hugs and telling me I was cute and picking me up, it was fun.

    I would never have called someone Miss Piggy, even at that age. It's very important to teach children good manners from a young age.
  • Jonalee1977
    Jonalee1977 Posts: 415 Member
    Ah, the brutal honesty of a child. If only they had tact, lol! I'm sure your friend wasn't too offended by it. Congrats to her on her 11 pound loss.

    And if it helps make her feel better, my four-year-old dd said to me, "Mommy, when you walk your butt does this," followed by her alternating moving her hands up & down.

    Yeah, that rocked.

    And then you remember why you love them so much ;)

    You got it! :o)
  • maidentl
    maidentl Posts: 3,203 Member
    Aw, don't worry. If a child said that to me it would hurt my feelings but I wouldn't be in the slightest bit upset with her or with her mama. :)
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    Awwww... Don't feel bad!!!!!! Seriously - nothing like an innocent honest child to remind me why I'm doing this. :D


    Seriously. It was a lovely night.
  • prettyfitchick
    prettyfitchick Posts: 502 Member
    well you should start by taking this post down I am sure you sharing this with the world is not going to make her feel any better and have talk with her That is how true friends resolve issues
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    well you should start by taking this post down I am sure you sharing this with the world is not going to make her feel any better and have talk with her That is how true friends resolve issues


    LOLsies.
  • ccmulder5
    ccmulder5 Posts: 75 Member
    my grand daughter is my #1 inspiration to lose this weight.. she is 4. as a matter of fact.. it was her innocent curiosity that sparked the flame.. asking me why i was so big.. *bless her heart* there was not an ounce of anger resulting in this question.. merely a self realization of Hmm?? Why AM I so big?!!! the question kept coming back in my mind over and over again.. less than a week later, i started MFP!!! now she is my #1 Cheerleader... that was 11 weeks ago AND i'm 39 lbs down!! **thank you miss amelia!!**

    my daughter had a little talk with her.. letting her know that sometimes it isn't ok to just ask these types of questions.. some people may be offended.. she just wants her to be sensitive to other feelings..

    i hope your friend wasn't offended.. kids just say what they think!! they're new.. they don't know!!
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    I remember once staying at a friend's house who lived in the town where my future husband's grandmother passed away. We stayed in her guest room the night before the funeral. While I was getting ready that morning, her 6 year old saw me pull my dress out of the closet. She took one look at it and asked me, "are you really that fat?" I told her she was rude and to leave the room immediately. I totally made her leave. I hope she learned her lesson. I wasn't even as heavy then as I am now. It was a few weeks before our wedding.
  • craftzilla
    craftzilla Posts: 29
    Four year olds will say anything! Hopefully, your friend can remember that. Here are two quotes from my talkative little four year old which have spurred the hubby and I on to lose weight.

    Said when I was 7 months pregnant with my 2nd: "Mommy, you look like uh, like uh..." long dramatic pause, "like uh elephant." (Just what you need to hear when you're fat and pregnant, by the way.

    Said to my husband while grocery shopping: "Daddy, your belly is TOO big."
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
    Don't feel bad my 19 year old son will grab my tummy and say "Mom time to get back on the grind!!" :laugh:
  • ajbeans
    ajbeans Posts: 2,857 Member
    That's a hard situation, because your daughter wasn't actually saying anything rude. She's noticing that pregnant women look different from non-pregnant women and is trying to figure out how to tell if someone is pregnant. If it were my child, I would probably take her aside later and tell her that sometimes it hurts people's feelings if we ask when they're pregnant when they're not, so if she's wondering about someone, she should wait and ask you later when the other person isn't there. My kids have never said anything like that to someone, but it's purely by luck. Most kids do something like that at one point or another.

    As for your friend, I'm sure she understands. Go to her and apologize, and if she seems hurt, tell her what you've said here: that she's making amazing progress, that you're so proud of her restraint, and that she's doing a great job.
  • Tangerine302
    Tangerine302 Posts: 1,509 Member
    Ah, the brutal honesty of a child. If only they had tact, lol! I'm sure your friend wasn't too offended by it. Congrats to her on her 11 pound loss.

    And if it helps make her feel better, my four-year-old dd said to me, "Mommy, when you walk your butt does this," followed by her alternating moving her hands up & down.

    Yeah, that rocked.

    Oh my gosh! ha :) Yeah, you never know what will come out of little mouths. :)

    Regarding your friend- I'm sure she understood that your daughter is young and probably didn't think much about it. A friend was telling me about the time when she hadn't seen her pregnant neighbor for a while. She was walking to her car one day and my friend asked "When are you going to have that baby!?" She said, "I already did." Ever since then I don't ask ladies who look pregnant much of anything. :) My friend felt sooooo bad. I actually think the person who asked the question feels worse than the one being asked sometimes.
  • teachfl2
    teachfl2 Posts: 95 Member
    If I had a dollar for every time someone (adult or child) asked me if I was pregnant I would have so much money. One of my fourth grade students asked me one time why my arm jiggles when I write...one of my students grandparents asked me if I was expecting, and several co-workers have asked me if I was pregnant too! I really think I am going to order a shirt online that says" I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat!" Some people just don't think before they speak! (adults I mean!)
  • AlmostMrsP
    AlmostMrsP Posts: 65 Member
    Kids will say what they are going to, its hard to stop them sometimes. Better to just teach them why it's not right to say that thing.

    I, on the other hand, did make a mistake a a few years of asking a co-worker when she was due and she informed me very nicely that she wasn't pregnant it was just baby weight from the kid she had. I was mortified. Then about 5-6 months later she had a kid. Guess I had been right, but she hadn't announced it yet.
  • ArtGeek22
    ArtGeek22 Posts: 1,429 Member
    Time to beat your child!!!

    No. 1: Sarcasum doesn't really work that well over the internet (sorry, :indifferent:) .

    No. 2: I agree with you only if the child was older. They won't understand what they did at this age. Just pull them aside and try to explain about what is right to say and what is wrong to say.

    (But if they where older it would be SPANKING time! :devil:)

    (Note: all forms of child abuse are horrible and all talk of it in this post is joking [and I shouldn't even be joking about it!])
  • boodlelibra
    boodlelibra Posts: 74 Member
    I was at a Weight Watchers meeting once and a man gave my son (he was around 4) a Tootsie Roll. I asked him if he said 'thank you' and he said (felt like he screamed it) "to the big fat man? OK!". At least he went over and said 'thank you', I guess.

    Mortifying, I feel for you!
  • DannyMussels
    DannyMussels Posts: 1,842 Member
    I don't know what's worse. That, or kids asking 'but how do they have a baby if they arent married'

    live.laugh.love.
  • mandamommy3
    mandamommy3 Posts: 297 Member
    4 year olds have no filter when it comes to things like that. Mine is the same way. My sister, who IS 8 months pregnant was visiting and my 4 year old daughter comes up to us and says to her Aunt " Your fat! Like my Mommy!" We explained to her that was not a very polite comment and that her Aunt was in fact pregnant. It hurt my feelings more than my sisters, but she'll learn and the filter will get there eventually (hopefully).
  • coraliethomas
    coraliethomas Posts: 336 Member
    OMG!!My daughter did the same thing at walmart the other day... there's this husband and wife that are extremeley overweight and use the electric scooter hoverround things... well the other day we were walking around grabbing food for dinner and she says to me really loud "MOMMY, WHY ARE THOSE FAT PEOPLE RIDING SCOOTERS IN THE STORE".... I wanted to crawl under the the vegetable rack and die!! I felt soo terribly bad for those people, because I dont know what got them that way, maybe its medical, maybe its bad habits...

    Out of the mouth of babes...
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