Working out a plan

Honestly, I started off by putting my stats into MFP, choosing a lower-than-maximum deficit (I was 114lbs above my healthy weight range when I started. I could have opted to lose at 2lbs per week, but I set MFP to 1lb and decided that slower and less-painful was what worked for me.)

There were two main things I decided to do differently.

1. Admitted to myself that I wasn't going to stop having treats. Every time I tried, I'd either go off the rails at the party/dinner/etc or I'd be "good" until I got home, where I would "reward" myself by overdoing stuff that I normally handled just fine in moderation. (I rarely kept bona fide treats in the house, but making two PB&J sandwiches with PB&J slathered on? Butter and garlic powder on naan? Going hog-wild on string cheese? It's been done.) So I tried the approach of, "Yes, I'm going somewhere where tempting items will be. So realistically, what do I feel will be enough so that I can have something a little indulgent and then stop. Let's look up the calories and pre-log. And see if it can fit my day." And suddenly, the treat wasn't a cheat, it was a choice. And when I logged it and saw that nothing was being derailed, that I actually DID have enough calories for what I wanted (assuming I had a lighter lunch or walked an hour to get to the event or what have you), I lost the whole "guilt leads to going off the rails-leads to more guilt-leads to more eating" cycle I'd get into.
2. Restricted homemade desserts to 200 calories or fewer per serving and bakery treats to items in the database, that I could ballpark calories. So, cake pops (roughly 110 to 170 calories) were fine if they fit. The bakery's signature pastries that weren't in the database but involved custard, frosting, whipped cream, and who knows what else? Not so much.

As I got used to eating fewer calories and got a feel for what sorts of foods kept me feeling fuller longer, and learned more about the importance of protein, I started focusing on hitting protein and iron (I'm vegetarian; my iron levels are mostly normal, but one blood panel had me sliding into the borderline low zone, so I decided to try to make sure I was meeting the RDA) and letting the rest fall where it falls. Which tends to be a little higher on the carbs, a little lower on the fat. I don't eat a low-fat diet (i.e. 10% or less of my total calories); the MFP default is at 30% fat. I'm usually around 25%, give or take.

I also exercise way more than I used to and eat back half my calories, keeping the rest as a cushion against inaccurate estimates, both on the food and exercise burns. (Plus, if I do occasionally feel hungry, it's nice to know that I have these extra calories I can dip into. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen.)

The only other aspect I'll say it that what got me onto MFP in the first place was developing an obesity-related complication. Basically, the veins in my legs collapsed under the strain of carrying way more of me than they were meant to. The vascular surgeon gave me two directives: wear compression stockings and lose weight. And after dealing with lymphedema, multiple courses of antibiotics to treat a weeping wound on my leg, and daily visits from homecare nurses to change the dressing on my leg, I didn't want that to be my life. For one thing, although the nurses tried to work their schedule to mine, it meant that I had to make sure I was home at a specific time every day. For another, the dressing couldn't get wet, which meant I had to wait until the nurse was coming to jump into the shower. And sometimes, the nurse would call as s/he was pulling into my driveway instead of in advance. Let's just say that a desire to avoid all of that hassle (to say nothing of a concern of developing a resistance to antibiotics if I keep getting infections) has been all the motivation I've needed to stick with this.