Serial restarter

GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »

When I first joined these boards, I was a veteran of many failed weight loss attempts. I started reading everything here that I could, and the one piece of advice that really stood out to me was about the importance of making what I was doing about habit instead of motivation. Motivation wanes, but habits are ingrained behaviors that become automatic.

That really settled in, and I did everything I did this time to make it a habit. I did one change at a time until it was ingrained, before introducing a new one.

Doing this, I found myself with a pattern of behaviors that was easy to pick up again even if I stumbled. Just like... oh, you know how if you get too sick to shower, but when you're over it, you shower again? Same thing.

Slow and steady wins the race.

So don't make too many changes at once. Just start with logging your food. Every day. The good, the bad, the ugly. Once that's a habit, then try sticking to a reasonable calorie goal. Once that's a habit, then maybe try for one or two dietary changes to optimize how full you feel or how nutrient dense your diet is. Again, once that's a habit, add some fun activity to your life.

Good luck!

/thread

OP, there's nothing left that you need to know. No tips, no tricks. Build habits over time. It will take you where you want to go and get you back there when you derail.

heathereames wrote: »

HI all,

I am what you could call, a serial restarter. I start with the good intention of getting healthy and getting myself to my ideal weight, then after a period of time, I lose it. Completely. My cheat days become cheat months, and even cheat years. I want this to be the last time I start my weight loss/ healthy living journey. I want to stay on the road to a healthy life, I am fast approaching my 30s and I want to end my 20s the best I can as well as starting my 30s as I mean to go on.

So, my question to you all, how do you stay motivated during the days when you don't want to continue or when you feel like you have let yourself down because you didn't manage to meet your goals the day before? I know I am going to have cheat days but how do I stop self sabotaging and make sure I pick myself up the next day or during the same day? Any advice would be appreciated.

Hope you are all having a great week and are looking forward to Christmas

H x

Motivation:
Motivation is temporary, it will run out so you can't rely on it long term. Use the motivation to drive decisiveness. The way I have avoided needing motivation is to not make any changes that require motivation.

There are dozens of changes you can make that will culminate in reaching your goal, find the ones that you can do easily without relying on willpower and do them. This is how I continue long term, I only implement long term solutions that don't rely on short term motivation. Find what works for you, what's easy for you and do that, then find something else that's easy.

Serial restarter:
Don't be a serial restarter, be a serial continuer. If you were trying to drive to a location and took a wrong tern you wouldn't turn around and go all the way home and start again would you? No you'd just get back on track and keep going. Treat weight loss like that. While you think of yourself as a serial restarter every time you get off track you'll give up until you're back where you started so you can restart, by becoming a serial continuer you just pick up where you left off and continue.

Cheat meal/day:
I know a lot of people like to use this term but I think it's destructive. 'Cheat' to me implies that you've done something wrong. It has such a negative connotation. I'm not saying that you should live in a perpetual state of denial and deprivation, never allowing yourself enjoyment but think of that as a fully integrated part of your eating plan.

Plan high calorie meals/days by banking calories in the days before so you can enjoy yourself without the guilt or if it's a one off event then make it a part of your 'plan' that you're going to enjoy that event and accept that your loss for that one week might be slightly less than otherwise. The important thing is that everything is logged and tracked. It's mindless overeating that made us fat, not the occasional 'planned' splurge.

Realise you're a flawed human being.
Perfection is the enemy of progress. This has been probably the biggest downfall for me in the past. I'd mess up one tiny thing. I'd eat badly once. I'd miss one gym session. Just one teeny-weeny slip up and I'd "FAILED!!!!!!" and since I'd failed I could give up. This time I've been WAY more forgiving with myself and it's paying off. I no longer hold myself to impossible standards which means I don't hate myself when I fail to achieve perfection.

I realised that it wasn't the whole pizza (or whatever) I ate that kept me fat it was the guilt and shame of eating that pizza that made me give up that kept me fat. The pizza probably added 1000 calories to my weekly total, reducing my overall calorie deficit from 3500 to 2500. Not a big deal really, life happens, still a deficit, still losing weight. Previously that pizza would have made me 'fail' my diet, feel like a failure, I'd stop watching what I eat and go back to gaining weight. So give yourself a break, no one's perfect if you mess up be it intentionally or by accident then chalk it up as a learning experience and keep going.

The final piece of advise is to keep it simple:
I like to say that weight loss is ridiculously simple but not always easy. Weight loss comes down to one thing consuming fewer calories than you use. So if everything seems like it's getting to be too much then just stick to one rule "On average, eat fewer calories than you use". Forget about 'good and bad foods' forget about 'clean' forget about 'macros' forget about 'working out'. All those things can help but they're not going to do a thing if you're not managing your calorie intake.

G'luck