Sensitivity and eating disorders. PLEASE READ.

that's bull that you were treated like this =/ I'm sorry and I wish I could take some of the hurt away...you are VERY strong to overcome an eating disorder on your own.

Thank you for having the courage to say what I couldn't

sorry this happens to u. i happen to have comments such as u just want attention too. But i am overweight majorly. i think its just as bad wen some1 has an E.D. but being over weight is alot easier to come by i think but ive never been thin or had an E.D. so i guess all i can say is sorry u were treated like that bc with an E.D u need just as much support.

I'm sorry for your experience. I have never had that eating disorder, I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum. Yes, I think it is silly you think you are fat if your not medically but that's my opinion. I suggest starting a group with people who identify with you versus trying to have people from a different walk to life understand you. I personally would not bully you, I would instead suggest seeing a therapist or so, so you can deal with any underlying issues you may have, or a trauma that caused you to look @ yourself diff. Idk I'm no doctor. Hang in there and keep strong. You can do it

Sorry to hear you have had a bad experience here in the past. I really hope it's different this time. Well done for staying strong & good luck with your quest to get healthy

I think a lot of people don't really and truly believe that eating disorders are mental illnesses. Telling someone that they're being vain when they are disordered and think that they are fat is so very ignorant. I think it can be partly because of jealousy and that kind of person has no idea that there's nothing to be jealous of.

Hi. I am sorry people were mean to you. I have been laughed at myself for different reasons throughout my life... "Hey 4 eyes" or "you are so lame you can't hit the ball out of the infield." Yeah, I was the 4 eyed un-athletic nerd. Like you I had to over come on my own. Now I am not saying that my appearance and lack of athleticism is equivalent to your struggles, just that I experienced enough of people to know a little of how you feel.

I really don't like mean people, but I have come to learn that it is usually a mask they wear to cover their own insecurities and draw attention away from themselves. So I ignore them... as best I can.

As for MFP, I have found people here to be very warm and helpful and I hope you do too. I lost 35lbs a few years ago and gained 20+ back before finding MFP. My take is now NOT to "diet" or "loose weight" but rather to learn to live a healthier lifestyle by learning to eat PROPERLY and exercise regularly and effectively.

I recently watched an interview with the famous Olympic gymnast, Mary Lou Rettin who said that she did not permit scales in her home. I kinda like that and am working towards having that attitude myself.

How we FEEL is more important than the way we look... being healthy helps us to FEEL and look better.

Best wishes to you!!

i totally understand, i got a lot of similar inconsiderate comments too from people on this site, because i had alluded to my ED in my "about me" section. you're right it is really annoying to hear the dismissive "oh stop it you're not fat" as if that'll make you see yourself any differently. i guess since the majority of people here haven't struggled with anorexia you might not get a ton of support, but as you can see there are still people here who understand :flowerforyou: good luck getting healthy and don't let the haters get to you!

Well said. However, I think most of the problems comes with people who aren't ready to admit their problem. It puts everyone else on the forum between a rock and a hard place because you don't want to support starving yourself or a binge/purge cycle (or just binging) however what are you supposed to do when they post a thread about it? Just let the pro-ana people reply?

I am so beyond sick of reading ignorant comments on these boards about 'super skinny girls' or 'anorexics'. I am sick of people sympathizing with the obese, and looking down upon girls with ED's.

When I was 14 I was convinced I was fat. I was 5'6 and 109 lbs but for some reason everytime I looked in the mirror, all I could think of was how absolutely disgusting I looked. And as if that wasn't bad enough, I had NO ONE to talk to about it because as soon as I even mentioned the fact that I thought I was fat people would jump down my throat.

It was all "Oh Jacolyn, shut up you're not fat"
"Oh Jacolyn stop being so stupid"
and the worst one of all
"Stop being such an attention *kitten*."

So while my tiny 14 year old self was struggling with an eating disorder, and killing myself in the process, everyone else was busy talking about how stupid I was. How vain I had become, and how I'm just looking for attention.

Luckily I am a strong girl and I had to recover all on my own, with absolutely no help from those who were supposedly my 'friends'.

But now when I'm trying to lose weight the healthy way, I come on to these boards expecting to be greeted with open arms and love and instead I run into the same comments.

As SOON as someone finds out I'm not overweight, or that I used to have an ED I get HORRIBLE and HURTFUL comments, and I have to make a new account.


So for the record, being anorexic is JUST as painful as being overweight. GET. OFF. YOUR. HIGH. HORSE.

I am not overweight, and I used to have an eating disorder. I have never been treated poorly on this website based on those circumstances. Although, I went through in-patient and out-patient treatment and had the help and guidance from a nutritionist and psychologist in order to resolve the underlying issues and allow me to live a normal life.

I completely recovered (it was a little rocky at times, but I have never relapsed and it has been seven years). I am focusing on getting myself into the best shape of my life now and working toward reaching goals I never thought I'd be able to do like completing a mud race, completing P90X, running a 5k &10k, completing Tough Mudder.. All of these things I must work toward, and I'd never be able to complete them if I fell into unhealthy patterns.

Through my past treatment and the knowledge I gained in nursing school, I will not let myself enter that Hell again. Ever. I know my warning signs, I know my health is on the line.

Perhaps some people have the idea that all previous eating disorder MFPers are always being unhealthy, and while that's not the case all of the time, more often than not those who have past issues never sought medical/mental help and still cannot grasp a healthy relationship between food and exercise. Recovery without relapse in patients who seek professional guidance accounts about 50% of all eating disorder cases, so think about the relapse statistics for those who "self-treat". It was advised to me that if I ever needed to legitimately lose weight, I should do so under the supervision of a nutritionist and therapist in order to avoid relapse.


** I had about 2034876240 thoughts going through my mind, so forgive me if this was jumbled.

I am so very sorry to hear about the negative experiences you have had on MFP and I hope you continue to be strong and overcome whatever obstacles you continue to face and become a happier and healthier version of yourself.

I would however like to take the time and note a few things you have said, and a few things I have seen in general.

Your perception that people are more sympathetic to the obese instead of those who have ED is completely and enormously incorrect. Outside of forums like this, out in the public, and in the "real world" the majority of the people see those with an ED as having a "mental problem",,, i.e. they can't control the way they look at themselves ... their mental mirrors are broken..etc. In the media they are very cautious how the approach this subject. And those who are super skinny are praised, and idolized. It is only until recently did we start seeing the question of "how skinny is too skinny" on models. But, we still build up these celebrities and tear them down when they gain weight (Britney Spears, Kristie Alley, Oprah). That is what we do in this media society we build them up, just so we can tear them down.

Obesity is a source of "comedy" in films ... anyone remember Shallow Hall? People laughing when she breaks the chair in the restaurants, and groaning with disgust when they are about to have sex. There was one recently, I don't recall the name where the guy is stuck marrying this fat girl, and she goes to the water park wearing a two piece and goes down a slide and clears the pool of the water, while tossing a kid into a tree. No one thinks about how these things be acceptable forms the minds of the people ... so that when a real overweight person is in public they can shout out mean and hurtful things. Children point and fat people, teens make fun of them, and even adults look at them with disgust. People bring the fat friend with them to places so they can feel skinner and attract men, but don't invite them to other things where they don't need a confidence boost. On college campuses there is still the practice of "whaling" where men compete for a pot of money by seeing who can find the fattest girls to ask out, and some cases claim to have sex with. Fat people are avoided in public, pay more for clothing, sometimes plane tickets, and on and on it goes.

So, I'm not sure where you feel that obese people are sympathized with, they are a source of entertainment, otherwise they are the invisible people to be kept out of public view.

Also, ED doesn't have to be with the end result being super skinny .... there are those who eat and eat and continue to gain weight ... they are eating and it is a disorder.

Finally, I think everyone, should be more aware of their comments - including yourself. If you do not like curves, or don't want to hear the slogan "real women have curves" ,,, then you yourself are not being considerate. To each their own, just as I believe there are sayings like "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels/"

*Edited by Moderator*

The street goes both ways. Everyone needs to be more aware, understanding, and compassionate.

Your struggles, are no different than those who are obese. Everyone has had to deal with the damaging and hurting things people have said due to their lack of understanding.

I am so very sorry to hear about the negative experiences you have had on MFP and I hope you continue to be strong and overcome whatever obstacles you continue to face and become a happier and healthier version of yourself.

I would however like to take the time and note a few things you have said, and a few things I have seen in general.

Your perception that people are more sympathetic to the obese instead of those who have ED is completely and enormously incorrect. Outside of forums like this, out in the public, and in the "real world" the majority of the people see those with an ED as having a "mental problem",,, i.e. they can't control the way they look at themselves ... their mental mirrors are broken..etc. In the media they are very cautious how the approach this subject. And those who are super skinny are praised, and idolized. It is only until recently did we start seeing the question of "how skinny is too skinny" on models. But, we still build up these celebrities and tear them down when they gain weight (Britney Spears, Kristie Alley, Oprah). That is what we do in this media society we build them up, just so we can tear them down.

Obesity is a source of "comedy" in films ... anyone remember Shallow Hall? People laughing when she breaks the chair in the restaurants, and groaning with disgust when they are about to have sex. There was one recently, I don't recall the name where the guy is stuck marrying this fat girl, and she goes to the water park wearing a two piece and goes down a slide and clears the pool of the water, while tossing a kid into a tree. No one thinks about how these things be acceptable forms the minds of the people ... so that when a real overweight person is in public they can shout out mean and hurtful things. Children point and fat people, teens make fun of them, and even adults look at them with disgust. People bring the fat friend with them to places so they can feel skinner and attract men, but don't invite them to other things where they don't need a confidence boost. On college campuses there is still the practice of "whaling" where men compete for a pot of money by seeing who can find the fattest girls to ask out, and some cases claim to have sex with. Fat people are avoided in public, pay more for clothing, sometimes plane tickets, and on and on it goes.

So, I'm not sure where you feel that obese people are sympathized with, they are a source of entertainment, otherwise they are the invisible people to be kept out of public view.

Also, ED doesn't have to be with the end result being super skinny .... there are those who eat and eat and continue to gain weight ... they are eating and it is a disorder.

Finally, I think everyone, should be more aware of their comments - including yourself. If you do not like curves, or don't want to hear the slogan "real women have curves" ,,, then you yourself are not being considerate. To each their own, just as I believe there are sayings like "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels/"

*Edited by Moderator*

The street goes both ways. Everyone needs to be more aware, understanding, and compassionate.

Your struggles, are no different than those who are obese. Everyone has had to deal with the damaging and hurting things people have said due to their lack of understanding.

i think she was definitely referring to people being unsympathetic within this site/community. as an overall weightloss community they should be fully accepting of anyone wanting to lose weight, otherwise market themselves differently.

i've seen many girls getting crappy responses on boards for being thinner and still wanting to lose weight, i've taken it personally since i'm in that boat. we get no commendation for trying to be healthy rather than eat nothing but apples and saltines and diet coke- my past life with my ED.

rather we are told "but you're a perfectly healthy weight, you shouldn't lose anymore" i always respond "yes i know i'm at a good weight, but my body is not in shape and is full of flabby parts and that is what i want to fix." it hurts to be discouraged

I am so very sorry to hear about the negative experiences you have had on MFP and I hope you continue to be strong and overcome whatever obstacles you continue to face and become a happier and healthier version of yourself.

I would however like to take the time and note a few things you have said, and a few things I have seen in general.

Your perception that people are more sympathetic to the obese instead of those who have ED is completely and enormously incorrect. Outside of forums like this, out in the public, and in the "real world" the majority of the people see those with an ED as having a "mental problem",,, i.e. they can't control the way they look at themselves ... their mental mirrors are broken..etc. In the media they are very cautious how the approach this subject. And those who are super skinny are praised, and idolized. It is only until recently did we start seeing the question of "how skinny is too skinny" on models. But, we still build up these celebrities and tear them down when they gain weight (Britney Spears, Kristie Alley, Oprah). That is what we do in this media society we build them up, just so we can tear them down.

Obesity is a source of "comedy" in films ... anyone remember Shallow Hall? People laughing when she breaks the chair in the restaurants, and groaning with disgust when they are about to have sex. There was one recently, I don't recall the name where the guy is stuck marrying this fat girl, and she goes to the water park wearing a two piece and goes down a slide and clears the pool of the water, while tossing a kid into a tree. No one thinks about how these things be acceptable forms the minds of the people ... so that when a real overweight person is in public they can shout out mean and hurtful things. Children point and fat people, teens make fun of them, and even adults look at them with disgust. People bring the fat friend with them to places so they can feel skinner and attract men, but don't invite them to other things where they don't need a confidence boost. On college campuses there is still the practice of "whaling" where men compete for a pot of money by seeing who can find the fattest girls to ask out, and some cases claim to have sex with. Fat people are avoided in public, pay more for clothing, sometimes plane tickets, and on and on it goes.

So, I'm not sure where you feel that obese people are sympathized with, they are a source of entertainment, otherwise they are the invisible people to be kept out of public view.

Also, ED doesn't have to be with the end result being super skinny .... there are those who eat and eat and continue to gain weight ... they are eating and it is a disorder.

Finally, I think everyone, should be more aware of their comments - including yourself. If you do not like curves, or don't want to hear the slogan "real women have curves" ,,, then you yourself are not being considerate. To each their own, just as I believe there are sayings like "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels/"

*Edited by Moderator*

The street goes both ways. Everyone needs to be more aware, understanding, and compassionate.

Your struggles, are no different than those who are obese. Everyone has had to deal with the damaging and hurting things people have said due to their lack of understanding.

1- I am sorry the OP has had rude and insensitive comments made. This is a community where we all need to be sensitive to others, where ALL forms of EDs should be considered, and others should be considerate with their words. It is too bad that a select few, and their venomous words, would reflect poorly on the community as a whole. So far, and I have only been here a week, my interaction with others has been quite positive and encouraging. I am glad you called those insensitive *kitten* out. I don't think negative influences need to be a part of this site, where most are very supportive...some are more blunt than others, but I have yet to actually come across someone who is just being mean-spirited. I am really sorry that you have.

2- I completely agree with the author of the above quote. I modeled in my teen years and always BARELY made my weigh in. I starved myself, took drugs, binged on diuretics and stool softeners just to be "skinny" enough at my weigh in. I never thought I was "fat", but being in the modeling industry (prior to so-called Plus Size models), I was. Now at 40, and long out of modeling, being a mother, cancer survivor, and dealing with arthritis I have found myself considerably overweight. When people see pictures of my modeling days they say "There is NO WAY that that person is YOU". I also get the dreaded "See you'd be so pretty if you lost some weight" (so what, with the extra pounds I am butt-ugly??). Through group sessions and REAL friends who love and support me, I have discovered that I am an emotional eater. Or not. When I am severely stressed, I either binge hard or starve myself. I have finally come to a point in my life, and having this enlightenment, that I am ready to lose weight the right way and for the right reasons. I am ready to not let my emotions dictate my food intake.

Eating disorders go both ways. There is an uncomfortableness that happens when thin people say they are fat, because we are conditioned via the media to think that thin is the optimum way to be, and that if you aren't a heaving lard-*kitten* then you cannot possibly think you are fat. Conversely, as was stated, those who are over weight are considered as being heaving lard-*kitten* and pathetic (I am using the term loosely and as an example). There are any number of factors that can make someone have an ED, as well as medical conditions which cause excessive thinness or weight gain (Thyroid etc).

The point is this, in a community where the main goal is to find a healthy weight level (Or at least I would hope that is the reason many of us are here), we need to be considerate with our words. Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, but Words Will Never Hurt Me. BULLSH*T!! Words do hurt, from both ends of the spectrum, and for many of us who have some form of ED (whether Bulemia or excessive over-eating, and everything in between), those words can cause relapses.