Keys to wealth, success, happiness, and love

jjpptt2
jjpptt2 Posts: 5,650 Member
edited December 19 in Health and Weight Loss
OK, so maybe not all of those things, but...

Those of us who have been at this for a while realize a few basic fundamentals
  1. Weight management at it's most basic is about energy balance, or calories in vs calories out.
  2. Overall health is a related but tangential conversation to weight management.
  3. Long term success has a lot to do with working WITH your own preferences and tendencies, not against them.

It's point #3 that I'd like to focus on. I'm hoping that a discussion on personal preferences, approaches, habits, etc. can
  • further help break down the notion that the ONLY way to lose weight is to follow (or, *gasp* pay for) some fad diet or eliminate broad groups of foods, and
  • give folks some tips and ideas on things to try, on approaches to consider based on their own situation.

I'm also hoping that we can keep the "no, you're wrong" comments to a minimum, but I realize that could be wishful thinking.

Anways...
What are some of your "musts" for your own personal success?
Do you have any "can'ts"?
Feel free to add context regarding your own personal goals, lifestyle, situation, etc that might make things more meaningful to readers.

Replies

  • jjpptt2
    jjpptt2 Posts: 5,650 Member
    edited December 2018
    Since I asked, I should probably start, right?

    For me personally, at this point in my life,
    • I don't *have* to log, but I'm better when I am logging. I think it's more about keeping me engaged than it is actually managing calories (I've been at this long enough that I can eyeball most of my regular foods/meals pretty well).
    • I have to focus my eating on foods I like while minimizing foods I love. I simply don't have the control/discipline to only eat 2 slices of pizza for example.
    • I seem to do better getting the majority of my calories in during he afternoon/early evening. Eating later in the day impacts my sleep, and my desire to eat is low in the mornings... so eating a most of my cals from 2-6(ish) seems to be the most helpful for me.
    • I have to make sure I get in my workouts. Workouts seem to sent the stage for me mentally... and skipping them usually leads to poor diet choices/discipline.

    I don't have any pre-set "can'ts" as I feel like hard coded restrictions will, sooner or later, become a problem. I try to monitor my tendencies pretty consistently and adjust as they change.
  • Duck_Puddle
    Duck_Puddle Posts: 3,237 Member
    edited December 2018
    My one “have to”: get your emotional issues that manifest through food fixed up. That’s the one thing (by an overwhelming landslide) that has made any real progress possible. No more binges, no more fighting this juggernaut runaway train with this phantom “willpower” and “self control” (which I use now but I’m only asking them to do .01% of what I was asking before). The process is an active choice now, it’s not a battle, I don’t hate myself. I can now just apply the mechanics of the process. That was NOT possible before I got treatment.


    I know that’s not exactly where you’re going with this thread-but getting that treatment Has been the single most impactful thing for me - most effective by an overwhelming landslide. And had I not fixed that, none of the rest would matter anyway because nothing was “sustainable” even though much is the same as what I do now anyway.


    Although these following things are useless (for me) unless the above is handled:

    -find what makes you feel full and eat that. You don’t get bonus points for being a martyr. For me, it’s fiber and volume.
    -find a way to include “treats” (whatever that means to you). Depending on your calorie goals, and your ability to be satisfied by small portions, that might be a daily thing. That doesn’t fit me since I’m not satisfied by small portions and have a small calorie goal. I need to find other ways to make things work.
    -I eat more of my calories later in the day/at night.
    -I will be logging until the end of eternity. I have a small TDEE and a giant appetite and can easily be 1000 over my TDEE without even trying-even with “healthy” foods. I’m not someone who can manage my intake effectively without it. Some people can also manage their checking accounts without keeping a record. I’m not one of those people either.

    Edited to answer the actual question.
  • Kathryn247
    Kathryn247 Posts: 570 Member
    I can't go to bed hungry. It makes me angry and resentful. So I save about 150 calories for an evening (8-9pm) snack. It's also good incentive for me to log, it lets me know how many calories I have left for my evening snack.

    If anyone says to stop eating at 6pm to lose weight, it's just not true.

    Great thread!
  • jjpptt2
    jjpptt2 Posts: 5,650 Member
    Duck_Puddle wrote: »
    My one “have to”: get your emotional issues that manifest through food fixed up. That’s the one thing (by an overwhelming landslide) that has made any real progress possible. No more binges, no more fighting this juggernaut runaway train with this phantom “willpower” and “self control” (which I use now but I’m only asking them to do .01% of what I was asking before). The process is an active choice now, it’s not a battle, I don’t hate myself. I can now just apply the mechanics of the process. That was NOT possible before I got treatment.


    I know that’s not exactly where you’re going with this thread-but getting that treatment Has been the single most impactful thing for me - most effective by an overwhelming landslide. And had I not fixed that, none of the rest would matter anyway because nothing was “sustainable” even though much is the same as what I do now anyway.

    That's an excellent point, and it's a behind-the-scenes issue for me, as well. When I have a handle on my emotional baggage, things are infinitely easier and the battles are far more manageable. When I don't... when my emotions are handling me... it's just a matter of time before I implode. Repeatedly.
  • GottaBurnEmAll
    GottaBurnEmAll Posts: 7,722 Member
    1. Exercise keeps me sane and isn't optional.
    2. I've always had what most people consider a healthy diet, but I tend to get into ruts, and boredom is a stumbling block for me. Realizing that was a key turning point for me. I now regularly browse for new recipes to keep things interesting.
    3. Sometimes, I plan for a big indulgence, and it keeps me on track. Since I do that, the rest of the time I usually can't be bothered with small ones. This is the sort of thing that works with my personality.
  • Duck_Puddle
    Duck_Puddle Posts: 3,237 Member
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    Duck_Puddle wrote: »
    My one “have to”: get your emotional issues that manifest through food fixed up. That’s the one thing (by an overwhelming landslide) that has made any real progress possible. No more binges, no more fighting this juggernaut runaway train with this phantom “willpower” and “self control” (which I use now but I’m only asking them to do .01% of what I was asking before). The process is an active choice now, it’s not a battle, I don’t hate myself. I can now just apply the mechanics of the process. That was NOT possible before I got treatment.


    I know that’s not exactly where you’re going with this thread-but getting that treatment Has been the single most impactful thing for me - most effective by an overwhelming landslide. And had I not fixed that, none of the rest would matter anyway because nothing was “sustainable” even though much is the same as what I do now anyway.

    That's an excellent point, and it's a behind-the-scenes issue for me, as well. When I have a handle on my emotional baggage, things are infinitely easier and the battles are far more manageable. When I don't... when my emotions are handling me... it's just a matter of time before I implode. Repeatedly.

    Exactly. I could be on the most sensible plan in the perfect match to all my preferences (which I really was) but it wouldn’t matter because 4 days a week I was having a 4-6k cal binge or something. I could hold off for a bit, maybe even a couple/few months if things were otherwise OK-but them the dam would break and I’d start all over again. The basic premise of my diet and exercise habits really haven’t changed. My head has and that’s what has made the difference.
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,871 Member
    There is no being 'done.' Maintenance requires as much vigilance and thoughtfulness as losing (just with a little more food).

    It's better to take a brief, set, planned break from logging when I'm feeling overwhelmed by other areas of my life and a little burned out than to force it until I DGAF anymore and abandon it completely.

    I will never look 19 with no babies again, and that's ok. Accepting changes and setting realistic, achievable goals saves a lot of heartache and frustration.
  • anothermfpuser
    anothermfpuser Posts: 84 Member
    Not just for diet &/or exercise - I always say, find whatever works for you and ignore whoever tells you it's 'not possible'.

    For me, exercise and diet are not completely linked together. I exercise for the benefits of feeling good and keeping up the body. I am moderately mindful of what I eat but not a fanatic in any sense. Though, I do keep my weight in-check by how things fit (mostly). Rarely ever step on a scale (perhaps 2x/year).

    My own definition of 'personal success' and beyond goes WAY beyond - and has nothing to do with - diet & exercise. I focus on how things are working (or not) within my family (wife and daughter). Our experiences and how we reaction to the joys and failures of life together are what is most important to me.
  • FL_Hiker
    FL_Hiker Posts: 919 Member
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    OK, so maybe not all of those things, but...

    Those of us who have been at this for a while realize a few basic fundamentals
    1. Weight management at it's most basic is about energy balance, or calories in vs calories out.
    2. Overall health is a related but tangential conversation to weight management.
    3. Long term success has a lot to do with working WITH your own preferences and tendencies, not against them.

    It's point #3 that I'd like to focus on. I'm hoping that a discussion on personal preferences, approaches, habits, etc. can
    • further help break down the notion that the ONLY way to lose weight is to follow (or, *gasp* pay for) some fad diet or eliminate broad groups of foods, and
    • give folks some tips and ideas on things to try, on approaches to consider based on their own situation.

    I'm also hoping that we can keep the "no, you're wrong" comments to a minimum, but I realize that could be wishful thinking.

    Anways...
    What are some of your "musts" for your own personal success?
    Do you have any "can'ts"?
    Feel free to add context regarding your own personal goals, lifestyle, situation, etc that might make things more meaningful to readers.

    My musts for personal success are
    1. Always be grateful. Enjoy every bite of food, think about where it comes from, the hard work it would take to make the ingredients on my own, the effort that went into preparing the meal, the loved ones I am sharing the meal with, and how this food fuels my next run. With exercise, be grateful, be grateful if you have the ability to run or to lift or to do amazing things. Only you can feel the wind in your face and the sun shining down.
    2. Never give up, and never stop running. There was a time in my life where I had extreme nerve damage in my feet, I couldn’t walk. I vowed during that hard time I would one day run a marathon. Once i started running, I haven’t yet missed a training day even in the rain and heat. I can’t feel my feet anymore, sometimes it isn’t easy, especially on the trails with roots I have to watch. But if I could do it, anyone can. The hardest part is starting. My old swim coach was right, you have to set a goal. Setting goals and sticking to them is what leads to success.
  • BrettWithPKU
    BrettWithPKU Posts: 575 Member
    This suggestion is for all life goals, including your weight/fitness goals.

    Go to YouTube and search 'Ray Dalio 5 Step Process'. The video I'm talking about is about 3 minutes long.
    It's part of a longer series of videos which I think is all worth watching.

    Step 2 is as critical to success as it is counter-intuitive:
    ENCOUNTER the problems that stand in the way of getting to your goals.

    Too many people view problems (fading motivation, scale stops going down, temptations and cravings) with a 'woe is me' attitude, and hope to avoid those things at all costs. On the contrary, you should tackle those problems head-on, study the problem, hatch a solution (through trial-and-error if necessary) and implement it.
    After solving a problem that might sink someone who's unprepared to face it, you'll have renewed emotional energy to move forward chasing your goal.

  • MelanieCN77
    MelanieCN77 Posts: 4,047 Member
    My musts are planning, planning, planning. I only do 2-3 days ahead specifically for food and keep my eye on any event type days, workouts I have a general weekly hit list that I slot in. If I have a party or fancy meal coming up I'll just plan so that I'm eating super well 2-3 days before and after, and plan to do a long run or heavy lifting session to capitalise the day after.

    One thing I have found is that your Big Deal items will change and that's ok. What you're gung ho about one month might develop into something else over time. It doesn't mean you failed or can't stick to things, it's just evolution of your process. The food you go to, the workout you like, the routine, whatever - it's all fluid. Literally planning and watching the CICO balance are the only things that have been truly the same for me over the last few years.
  • jjpptt2
    jjpptt2 Posts: 5,650 Member
    garystrickland357 wrote: »
    I've slowly learned that my diet (as in WHAT I ate) when I was obese wasn't really terrible - I simply ate too much. Eating too much made me fat. When I was fat I didn't want to exercise. When I didn't exercise... It was a death spiral.
    Fixing the problem was as simple (really) for me as doing the math. I entered all the information in MFP and then started eating the correct portion sizes. I had to learn to weigh food and log my meals. I still ate pretty much the same sorts of things as I had been before.
    I learned that exercise actually curbs my appetite because it helps me manage my stress. I also enjoy running and cycling. As I feel better and lose weight, I exercise more - as I exercise more... It is a "life" spiral in the positive direction now. I have learned to eat appropriately when I don't exercise (big one for me).
    I have few can'ts - maybe chips more than anything. It hasn't been hard as I don't crave them. It's just I can mindlessly eat my way through a big bag of potato chips without even knowing "why" I did it. So I just avoid them.
    I "must" exercise for stress and emotional well being. I have had t learn not to be obsessive though - just consistent.

    Good stuff!
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