Anorexia.
cmonskinnylovee
Posts: 339
My previous topic was locked because of some ignorant comments, and I just want to post this one to clear the air.
When I said the slogan 'real women have curves' was bogus, I meant that it was hurtful. A woman is a woman whether she is 100 lbs, or 400 lbs. She is a woman whether she has rolls falling out of her pants, or elbows that could cut through glass.
She is a woman whether she has large breasts, or none at all.
By saying 'real women have curves' you are isolating so many people.
My aunt went through chemo for two years, and lost every pound of fat in her body, along with her breasts and hair. Did her cancer in turn take away her womanhood? NO.
Another thing is, IT IS NOT SILLY FOR A GIRL TO THINK SHE'S FAT IF SHE HAS ANOREXIA.
And it is NOT okay for you to say it is.
YOU do not understand what she sees when she looks in the mirror, YOU do not feel the complete and utter hatred that I felt when I was going through my ED. You do not understand, unless you have been through it.
And also, just because I am only 120 lbs doesn't mean it's okay for you to discourage me from my HEALTHY weight loss. If I am doing it the healthy way, then you stay out of my business.
If I wasn't, then you have full permission to try and HELP me, not JUDGE ME.
that is all.
When I said the slogan 'real women have curves' was bogus, I meant that it was hurtful. A woman is a woman whether she is 100 lbs, or 400 lbs. She is a woman whether she has rolls falling out of her pants, or elbows that could cut through glass.
She is a woman whether she has large breasts, or none at all.
By saying 'real women have curves' you are isolating so many people.
My aunt went through chemo for two years, and lost every pound of fat in her body, along with her breasts and hair. Did her cancer in turn take away her womanhood? NO.
Another thing is, IT IS NOT SILLY FOR A GIRL TO THINK SHE'S FAT IF SHE HAS ANOREXIA.
And it is NOT okay for you to say it is.
YOU do not understand what she sees when she looks in the mirror, YOU do not feel the complete and utter hatred that I felt when I was going through my ED. You do not understand, unless you have been through it.
And also, just because I am only 120 lbs doesn't mean it's okay for you to discourage me from my HEALTHY weight loss. If I am doing it the healthy way, then you stay out of my business.
If I wasn't, then you have full permission to try and HELP me, not JUDGE ME.
that is all.
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Replies
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I have been through it, and I DO understand, and I'm sorry those ignorant people said arrogant things, and I'm proud of you for surviving, and I want to thank you for writing this.0
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Why did they ban your last post?
and people shouldnt be allowed to say mean things!!0 -
Why did they ban your last post?
and people shouldnt be allowed to say mean things!!
Because people were getting fired up for some reason. People were being rude, and it just proved my point to be honest.0 -
i did not see your previous post, but you have very good points. i'm sorry to hear that people attacked you. sometimes people just need to get off the computer and work on their own lives/ weight issues.. i agree with you0
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I wish there was a love button, simply because I couldn't agree more.
Women may have curves.
but REAL women come in all shapes and sizes0 -
I agree with you 110%.
I battled anorexia from age nine to twenty, then disordered eating from twenty to thirty, and then anorexia from thirty to ???? (I am probably back in the "disordered eating" category now, but some say I still have anorexia).
Anorexia nervosa is a very real, very disabling illness. People who have not had an ED don't understand what it is like to look in the mirror and see something so distorted, so repulsive, that it is hard to function. Eating disorders, including binge eating disorder, are very difficult for the general public to understand.
I think it is wonderful that you are eating/exercising in a HEALTHY way. Instead of criticizing, we should be saying, "Congratulations on learning to tell your ED to go to Hell by learning to be healthy." As long as YOU (and your support team) keep an eye on behaviors/compulsions/thoughts to make sure ED isn't rearing its ugly head again, it is good.
Please take care and be careful. Learn to be healthy and maintain health. 0 -
Amen to this post.0
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whether you are shaped like a square, pear, triangle, or hourglass, a lady is a lady.
i thank you for making your point known and i totally have your back
(and i'm basically in the same exact boat as you)
stay strong, don't let the haters get you down.
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I feel you deserve a hug, . I had a foreign exchange student living with me when I was in high school. She was from Vietnam and one day I found her crying saying she would never feel like a real women because she would always be stuck in a child's curveless body. I thought It was so strange because so many American women strive for that asian model type body and she just wanted to look like a women from a Rembrandt painting.
Everyone should remember that Moral from Thumper Rabbit. If you do not have something nice to say do not say anything at all.0 -
Totally valid points. I think people just get worried, that some people may use this site to feed and validate addictions. In some ways though... it feeds ALL our addictions. Whether it be to lose weight, obsese about food, exercise etc. We just have to not get too carried away... and be healthy.
How tall are you? 120 sounds like a really healthy weight range. Maybe you should look into maintaining. I think maintenance is the biggest challange and requires the most motivation!0 -
I feel you deserve a hug, . I had a foreign exchange student living with me when I was in high school. She was from Vietnam and one day I found her crying saying she would never feel like a real women because she would always be stuck in a child's curveless body. I thought It was so strange because so many American women strive for that asian model type body and she just wanted to look like a women from a Rembrandt painting.
Everyone should remember that Moral from Thumper Rabbit. If you do not have something nice to say do not say anything at all.
This made me tear up
I bet she was beautiful, curves or no.
This also applies to men, as well. My boyfriend is 5'10 and 115 lbs and he struggles everyday with his self image. I personally think he is beautiful, but he thinks he's too skinny.
People need to learn that body shape doesn't define who you are as a person.0 -
Totally valid points. I think people just get worried, that some people may use this site to feedand validate their addictions. In some ways though... it feeds ALL our addictions. Whether it be to lose weight, obsese about food, exercise etc. We just have to not get too carried away... and be healthy.
How tall are you? 120 sounds like a really healthy weight range. Maybe you should look into maintening. I think maintenance is going to be the hardest hurdle!
I am 5'7, so I am on the low end of healthy BUT due to my previous eating disorder I am what people consider 'skinny fat'
I lost all my muscle, and kept a lot of the fat. So my therapist/ed counselor told me to stick to a 1400 calorie diet high in protein, and work out two times a week.
I'm not allowed to work out any more than that unfortunately.0 -
Totally valid points. I think people just get worried, that some people may use this site to feedand validate their addictions. In some ways though... it feeds ALL our addictions. Whether it be to lose weight, obsese about food, exercise etc. We just have to not get too carried away... and be healthy.
How tall are you? 120 sounds like a really healthy weight range. Maybe you should look into maintening. I think maintenance is going to be the hardest hurdle!
I am 5'7, so I am on the low end of healthy BUT due to my previous eating disorder I am what people consider 'skinny fat'
I lost all my muscle, and kept a lot of the fat. So my therapist/ed counselor told me to stick to a 1400 calorie diet high in protein, and work out two times a week.
I'm not allowed to work out any more than that unfortunately.
Ah so you are looking at maintaining but want to lose the fat and replace it with muscle. Make your two work out sessions (that your allowed) weight sessions. The results that you see from doing strength training is amazing! I was always a cardio person because I thought it what would help me to lose weight and look the way I wanted. Not so. I lost the weight but with it my firmness and muscle. Even though the scales and pants had me as a small I still wasn't happy with how my body looked. Since beginning weight training, I have been seeing the changes and it's awesome! I'm finally beginning to like the look of my body. So I suggest weights twice a week! Good luck!0 -
And I hate when people say, "You don't have an eating disorder."
This is an incredibly diverse disease and everyone's experience is different.
Stop stereotyping and generalizing us!0 -
I am 5'7, so I am on the low end of healthy BUT due to my previous eating disorder I am what people consider 'skinny fat'
I lost all my muscle, and kept a lot of the fat. So my therapist/ed counselor told me to stick to a 1400 calorie diet high in protein, and work out two times a week.
I'm not allowed to work out any more than that unfortunately.
Ah so you are looking at maintaining but want to lose the fat and replace it with muscle. Make your two work out sessions (that your allowed) weight sessions. The results that you see from doing strength training is amazing! I was always a cardio person because I thought it what would help me to lose weight and look the way I wanted. Not so. I lost the weight but with it my firmness and muscle. Even though the scales and pants had me as a small I still wasn't happy with how my body looked. Since beginning weight training, I have been seeing the changes and it's awesome! I'm finally beginning to like the look of my body. So I suggest weights twice a week! Good luck!
I second this entirely - strength training is the way to go. Its not that you really want to lose weight, its that you want to replace muscle with fat. You might even by 5-10 pounds heavier and look better than you did at a lower weight.0 -
YOU do not understand what she sees when she looks in the mirror, YOU do not feel the complete and utter hatred that I felt when I was going through my ED. You do not understand, unless you have been through it.
No, but I understand how my obseity makes me feel this way. We all have battles, and they are for nobody to judge, you are so right.
Sidenote: I hate that saying, too.0 -
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I battled with eating disorders from 13 till I was 16, I know how you feel everyone has a different experience with it, I was in the hospital 3 times in the past. You would never know it by looking at me now but I was 5'2" and 85 pounds I was about to die, I was forced to eat obviously so somewhere in my head I turned it around and said well if your going to make me fat then I'm going to be really fat, and that's how I ended up at 240 pounds. All my own doing but I battled my eating disorder everyday and still do, but people will tell me that I'm lying when I tell that story but sadly its true one extreme to the next. I am just struggling hard now to be healthy but its hard not to slip back into the disordered thinking, I'm also trying to build a healthy relationship with food. So good luck to all the women and men big or small, Short or tall lets all just try to make a healthier future full of support and encouragement no matter the size or shape of the person!0
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An ED is a mental condition just like any other. And just like you wouldn't belittle Alzheimer's, depression or schizophrenia, no-one should belittle an ED. It is just unfortunate that in the case of ED often the mental illness is physically visible, although the physical signs have no relation to the diagnosis of an ED (ie, you have a BMI of 15 and not have an ED, or have a BMI of 22 and have one).
I would say to anyone out there who finds EDs hard to understand or relate to:
- There is nothing in my life more difficult than sitting down to a meal and having a physical panic attack - unable to breathe properly, dizzy, light-headed, chest pains, shaking - just because of having to eat, and yet wanting desperately to be able to eat what is in front of you.
- There is nothing worse than being unable to process wearing size 0 clothes, having people concerned for your weight loss and not believing any compliments about your appearance and instead just seeing fat in the mirror.
- It is hard to hate yourself every day even when you want more than anything else to accept your body. It is even harder to not trust the judgement of those who you love and who love you about your body.
- My every waking moment is consumed by food and eating. It keeps me awake at night wondering if I will manage to eat 3 meals the next day, and wondering how long I have got until I get really sick from not giving my body the nutrients it needs.
And that is why when I get a message from someone here telling me to 'snap out of it' and 'just f***ing eat', it is quite difficult to respond appropriately. There is so much misunderstanding of EDs as nothing more or less than a mental illness.0 -
An ED is a mental condition just like any other. And just like you wouldn't belittle Alzheimer's, depression or schizophrenia, no-one should belittle an ED. It is just unfortunate that in the case of ED often the mental illness is physically visible, although the physical signs have no relation to the diagnosis of an ED (ie, you have a BMI of 15 and not have an ED, or have a BMI of 22 and have one).
I would say to anyone out there who finds EDs hard to understand or relate to:
- There is nothing in my life more difficult than sitting down to a meal and having a physical panic attack - unable to breathe properly, dizzy, light-headed, chest pains, shaking - just because of having to eat, and yet wanting desperately to be able to eat what is in front of you.
- There is nothing worse than being unable to process wearing size 0 clothes, having people concerned for your weight loss and not believing any compliments about your appearance and instead just seeing fat in the mirror.
- It is hard to hate yourself every day even when you want more than anything else to accept your body. It is even harder to not trust the judgement of those who you love and who love you about your body.
- My every waking moment is consumed by food and eating. It keeps me awake at night wondering if I will manage to eat 3 meals the next day, and wondering how long I have got until I get really sick from not giving my body the nutrients it needs.
And that is why when I get a message from someone here telling me to 'snap out of it' and 'just f***ing eat', it is quite difficult to respond appropriately. There is so much misunderstanding of EDs as nothing more or less than a mental illness.
Brilliant post. Truly.
You have fully captured everything I would like to say. This is a brilliant post.0 -
All I can say is THANK YOU for stating this and letting everyone know. I am so tired of hearing "Real woman are this" we are all women and we come in every shape and form.0
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^ That is brilliant. That is I often feel.An ED is a mental condition just like any other. And just like you wouldn't belittle Alzheimer's, depression or schizophrenia, no-one should belittle an ED. It is just unfortunate that in the case of ED often the mental illness is physically visible, although the physical signs have no relation to the diagnosis of an ED (ie, you have a BMI of 15 and not have an ED, or have a BMI of 22 and have one).
I would say to anyone out there who finds EDs hard to understand or relate to:
- There is nothing in my life more difficult than sitting down to a meal and having a physical panic attack - unable to breathe properly, dizzy, light-headed, chest pains, shaking - just because of having to eat, and yet wanting desperately to be able to eat what is in front of you.
- There is nothing worse than being unable to process wearing size 0 clothes, having people concerned for your weight loss and not believing any compliments about your appearance and instead just seeing fat in the mirror.
- It is hard to hate yourself every day even when you want more than anything else to accept your body. It is even harder to not trust the judgement of those who you love and who love you about your body.
- My every waking moment is consumed by food and eating. It keeps me awake at night wondering if I will manage to eat 3 meals the next day, and wondering how long I have got until I get really sick from not giving my body the nutrients it needs.
And that is why when I get a message from someone here telling me to 'snap out of it' and 'just f***ing eat', it is quite difficult to respond appropriately. There is so much misunderstanding of EDs as nothing more or less than a mental illness.0 -
Big hug to all you women. Really women love, hate, laugh, cry. They're strong, they bruise. Sorry people had to be so cruel. They could have learned something. Ignorance is their curse. Live strong.0
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There are a lot of rude people here and most are ignorant to what an eating disorder is0
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An ED is a mental condition just like any other. And just like you wouldn't belittle Alzheimer's, depression or schizophrenia, no-one should belittle an ED. It is just unfortunate that in the case of ED often the mental illness is physically visible, although the physical signs have no relation to the diagnosis of an ED (ie, you have a BMI of 15 and not have an ED, or have a BMI of 22 and have one).
I would say to anyone out there who finds EDs hard to understand or relate to:
- There is nothing in my life more difficult than sitting down to a meal and having a physical panic attack - unable to breathe properly, dizzy, light-headed, chest pains, shaking - just because of having to eat, and yet wanting desperately to be able to eat what is in front of you.
- There is nothing worse than being unable to process wearing size 0 clothes, having people concerned for your weight loss and not believing any compliments about your appearance and instead just seeing fat in the mirror.
- It is hard to hate yourself every day even when you want more than anything else to accept your body. It is even harder to not trust the judgement of those who you love and who love you about your body.
- My every waking moment is consumed by food and eating. It keeps me awake at night wondering if I will manage to eat 3 meals the next day, and wondering how long I have got until I get really sick from not giving my body the nutrients it needs.
And that is why when I get a message from someone here telling me to 'snap out of it' and 'just f***ing eat', it is quite difficult to respond appropriately. There is so much misunderstanding of EDs as nothing more or less than a mental illness.
Mili, this is beautifully put. I remember every single day and feeling of that horrible time when i was consumed by ED. it robbed me of everything i could have ha high school, friends, dances, days at the beach, my family, happiness....and left me with scars (emotional and physical) that will never go away. People don't understand and are more concerned with being "right" than try to comprehend what we go through. It's a mental and medical condition and women AND men, on either end- whether you're a binge eater or anorexic or anywhere in between- who battle any ED deserve help and empathy. Food is NOT the problem. Food is a symptom. What causes you to have that symptom (whatever you do with food, exercise, etc) is the real issue. It takes true strength and courage to beat this disease. It turns the one main thing that we need for survival into the Antichrist and i know that personally, the fear i felt during my recovery was beyond overwhelming. It's a puzzling disorder but all too real and much, much too common. There seems to be a belief that you can just have a "little bit" of an eating disorder...ah, sorry but no. (yes, some do have disordered eating without being diagnosed as having an eating disorder. my point is that it's not a "diet." it's a disease that ruins your life and can kill you. Not something to "dabble" in to just lose a little weight.)
My big problem with MFP is that they do not remove the absurdly triggering and unhealthy profiles that provide "thinspiration" and have people encouraging starving themselves and such. There are too many to address one by one for me as a member. I really feel strongly they need to be monitored better (profiles that is). Things like that are destructive for everyone. There are other (unfortunately ) pro-ED sites sick individuals can go to. I NEVER would tell anyone to do so but MFP is supposed to encourage health.0
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