Hi (once again) Not your average new years resolution.

This isn't my first rodeo, however, this is the first time and the last time I'm going to attempt this.

Quick back history... I starting logging on MFP in 2012. I was 260+lbs at the time. I logged and logged and exercised and logged and nothing. I didn't lose any weight. I logged for two solid years straight. I went to the doctor and was tested for everything. I went to dieticians that said I was doing everything properly - nothing was coming off. I worked out harder, faster, and exhausted myself and body while trying to push myself to lose the weight. Nothing.

I was on psych meds that were blocking my inability to lose weight. I logged my calories endlessly and countlessly for two solid years. After the two year mark, with zero results, I gave up. I gained weight. I would come back, I'd lose my 5lbs of water weight, I'd log continuously and nothing would come of it so I continued to yo-yo from logging and losing water weight to giving up and coming back. My spurts of logging weren't just a few days... this was months on end, every morsel of food, each and every brand, adding my own brands and loggings from labels to ensure accuracy. Nothing.

In 2017, after finally saying enough was enough, I got my blood tested for all my hormone levels. I found out my hormones were out of whack. Once, I figured that out, I realized that one of my psych meds were causing my hormones to be out of whack. I stopped it and instantly dropped 10-15lbs. Immediately after stopping it and within about six weeks later, I was (once again) tested for thyroid malfunction. For the first time in probably 20 tests that were taken for the past five years, it finally came back positive for hyperthyroidism. I lost 70lbs within about 5 months time. I dropped from 275 which was my heaviest in October 2017 to 205lbs in March 2018. I had to wean off and add new psych meds to counteract my thyroid levels being adjusted. My thyroid is finally within normal range as of this month! HOORAY! However, I have been off/on all sorts of new psych meds... with an optimistic approach this time.

I have my health on my side this time. I may have had years of meds that were causing me to gain weight and lose my ability to truly see what was going on with my body but I was diligent in seeing what was wrong.

So, I'm back again, this time for the last time. I'm going to hit ONEderland. I was SO close and my thyroid adjusted from hyper to hypo and I wasn't able to hit it. I gained back 10lbs and am at a solid 215lbs.

My goal is to reach 180lbs. I would be happy with that. I know it's still larger, but that is ultimately where I'd like to be. You can see in my pictures where I came from and where I'm at now.

I would love to make some new friends. These first few weeks of logging will be just me getting back into the habit of logging everything and once that habit forms and I'm more MINDFUL (my word of the year) of what I'm eating I'll start making more healthier choices.

No crash diet. No 'new year, new me' mantra. I am simply coming back to try one last time to get down to the goal weight and keep it there knowing that I am not walking up a steep mountain without a sight of the top.

Sorry for the lengthy post. By the way, I'm Nikki. I'm 32 years old. I weight 215lbs. I'm open. Honest. Blunt. I tell it like it is when it comes to myself. I'm friendly and I LOVE cheering others on. If you're looking for a friend or have a similar story, send me an invite! Looking forward to the community once again!