Father in Chemo

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Lazy_Bones_1985
Lazy_Bones_1985 Posts: 49 Member
edited January 2019 in Chit-Chat
I asked about this last night but my post was deleted as it was in the wrong forum. Any advice for me as my father begins 4 rounds of chemo tomorrow? I am an only child and out of state but will be able to visit for 5-6 days each month. Each round will require him to remain in the hospital for 3 days, each round is every 3 weeks. I am nervous of being upset by his weakened state as well as obviously being scared. My Mom will be there and seems very calm regarding this. I try each day to understand that worry will not make anything better but when I get tired (I work night shifts), it becomes harder for me to stay calm. I will also be out of the country and a 15 hour plane ride away for much of his treatment due to work. I also feel slightly guilty about doing things I enjoy while he is sick. Just looking for advice on how to deal with my own emotions and being a good daughter.

I’m sorry for making such a dark post on a board that seems so upbeat and funny and for bringing such negativity up when the New Year has just started. I don’t want to burden my friends and coworkers- I have only told my best friend and don’t want to overwhelm her with this. Thank you.

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  • RachelElser
    RachelElser Posts: 1,049 Member
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    My mom recently finished chemo and it does indeed suck. How good are your parent with technology? Can you video call them? Is there a church they belong to that you can coordinate meals taken to their home and thinking of you cards? Or can you have their favorite restaurants deliver to them?
  • Lazy_Bones_1985
    Lazy_Bones_1985 Posts: 49 Member
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    RachelElser wrote: »
    My mom recently finished chemo and it does indeed suck. How good are your parent with technology? Can you video call them? Is there a church they belong to that you can coordinate meals taken to their home and thinking of you cards? Or can you have their favorite restaurants deliver to them?

    Thanks for the ideas. My Mom has been busy making frozen meals to have so they’re prepared with that. In fact she’s such a germophobe, she probably wouldn’t eat food from strangers (she never eats at potluck parties). They are good with technology so speaking with them every day or almost every day is possible.



  • Jadesfire93
    Jadesfire93 Posts: 92 Member
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    When my dad was going through chemo I vividly remember having a hard time finding things to talk about while we were all there all the time, basically sitting around watching the IV drip. I think it will be tremendously helpful that you're not there all the time because then when you are, there will be fresh topics of conversation and new stories to share. This will also give your mom and dad a bit of a break from each other- the caregiver/patient relationship is also a really difficult one to deal with.
    Does he like games like Words with Friends? Chemo drips take hours, perhaps he'd like to play a game or two with you during those times?

    Regardless, it's an emotional roller coaster for everyone involved, best wishes for your family!

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