Family Drama

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pnst84ever
pnst84ever Posts: 22 Member
in Motivation and Support
How do you deal with family drama? We had a good Christmas break mostly because everyone was sick and didn’t feel like starting anything. Now first weekend back and it’s starting. I’ve been really careful logging food and getting in extra steps but looking at the weekend and how everyone will just bicker makes me want to quit already. I brought 3 pieces of birthday cake home from work for us as dessert this weekend. I’d like nothing more than to eat all 3 pieces crack a beer and go watch Netflix.

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  • concordancia
    concordancia Posts: 5,320 Member
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    Is there bickering because the family is disfunctional or because people are getting bored? If the first, get therapy. Hopefully, it is the second. In that case, just come up with things to do, some individually and some as a group. Go for a walk, go to an ice skating rink, plan game night, get out the video games, cook a meal together....
  • urloved33
    urloved33 Posts: 3,325 Member
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    in my family people just stop talking. I mean like I have a brother who tells people his sisters are DEAD and he really does not care that they are....of course we are not dead. that was my first family...loud screaming throwing things...lots of drinking. I smoked ate and left at a very early age. they still act like that. I don't ...with my own children we do argue but they also get very quiet and talk to me less when they are angry...so I had to learn to go on w my life instead of saying...talk to me talk to me...and then they come around within a short time.
  • pnst84ever
    pnst84ever Posts: 22 Member
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    concordancia wrote: »
    Is there bickering because the family is disfunctional or because people are getting bored? If the first, get therapy. Hopefully, it is the second. In that case, just come up with things to do, some individually and some as a group. Go for a walk, go to an ice skating rink, plan game night, get out the video games, cook a meal together....

    I’ve always said anything I’m involved with is dysfunctional. But more as a joke than anything else. I think everyone just wants their own way and is stubborn. It’s frustrating. I have the personality that wants to fix everything but sometimes I can’t.
  • ShopGirl9999
    ShopGirl9999 Posts: 775 Member
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    Extended family drama thanks to a new person marrying into the family.

    Stress was inevitable along with frustration and hurt feelings for many family members.

    I talked to a wonderful friend who told me to be my best self, take care of what I need to take care of and pick my battles.
  • pnst84ever
    pnst84ever Posts: 22 Member
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    As usual everyone makes up. Glad I didn’t eat 2 pieces of cake and really sabotage myself. It seems that emotional eating is a real thing and potentially a big problem.
  • Numer1ca
    Numer1ca Posts: 263 Member
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    How old are you talking about? The bickerers in my family are my kids.

  • CowgirlConnieMay
    CowgirlConnieMay Posts: 300 Member
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    I understand...I have been kicked out of part of my family.....
    Definitely can't use that as a reason to sabotage my goals.
    You can do this and stop bringing home desserts! Unless it's an actual birthday....or holiday...or....😊
  • TanyaHooton
    TanyaHooton Posts: 249 Member
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    I assume you are an adult. Is "family" your parents and siblings, or is it your spouse and children? If it's the latter, then I assume the kids will be back at school soon and this will pass. If it's the former, then if they cause you stress then perhaps you can examine just how much time you spend with them (i.e. maybe cut back) and also work on putting up boundaries (i.e. if they start bickering then you will quietly go outside for a walk, or just leave).

    Ultimately there will always be stresses in our lives, and things we cannot control or fix. You cannot fix a dysfunctional family that actually prefers to be this way. So try to accept that it will not change no matter what you say or do, learn to care for yourself when it gets to be too much, and develop alternate strategies to deal with the stress.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,042 Member
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    pnst84ever wrote: »
    concordancia wrote: »
    Is there bickering because the family is disfunctional or because people are getting bored? If the first, get therapy. Hopefully, it is the second. In that case, just come up with things to do, some individually and some as a group. Go for a walk, go to an ice skating rink, plan game night, get out the video games, cook a meal together....

    I’ve always said anything I’m involved with is dysfunctional. But more as a joke than anything else. I think everyone just wants their own way and is stubborn. It’s frustrating. I have the personality that wants to fix everything but sometimes I can’t.

    There are a lot of good books to read that may help you with this rescuer role. It's a miserable role to take on - I know because that was me (still is sometimes.)

    No one wants to be fixed. :wink:
  • pnst84ever
    pnst84ever Posts: 22 Member
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    Thanks everyone. Sometimes the drama is between family (parents and siblings) and sometimes between spouse and children. This past row was between parents and spouse and children. I'm basically stuck in the middle trying to keep the peace. When I watch what I eat, I cut back on all sugar. I've noticed if I don't feed the carb monster I'm super irritable, short and anxious. If I can get through a couple of days, I'm ok.

    I brought the cake home because someone at work got it for me for my birthday. If I took it home, then I didn't have to eat it at work. Plus, I thought i was being nice to my kid by bringing home a treat.

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