Lacking support at home

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rosabella412
rosabella412 Posts: 6 Member
in Motivation and Support
I am ready to change myself for 2019, and I thought my mother was on board too. When I try to eat something, she tells me it's too much food-constantly. Like she doesn't understand that I can"t eat 700 calories a day. I ate breakfast at around 10, and I wanted lunch at 1:30. When I took out the spinach she lashed out at me. And I was so hurt. She told me I eat too much and who eats a 400 calories breakfast. Mind you my breakfast was 1/2 cup of green beans. 1/2 cup of quinoa with cream cheese and drizzle of honey, an egg, and 3 sausage links (small). I honeslty don't think that's bad. I tried explaining to her that if I ate only what she wanted me too, a smoothie. I would only end up eating 700 calories that day. She believes I'm being rude and stubborn and "fat". I had that mindset that less meant more, but not anymore. And worse she told me later on that I can't eat so much because she has no money to buy groceries. And I asked her then why could she not say that instead of ruining my self esteem telling me I'm basically a fat pig for eating a salad. And she believes she is right whold heartedly. Can I get some thoughts on this?

Replies

  • Ketoboogie
    Ketoboogie Posts: 1 Member
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    Definitely seems toxic. You are doing great and I don’t know your size but a 400 calorie breakfast is not bad. You are doing great and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!
  • buysnatasha
    buysnatasha Posts: 2 Member
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    I know how it feels to have a parent like that. Please don't let her bring you down. Do this for you and block her negativity out as best you can. People like that do not change easily so focus on you and your goals.
  • dollface_mell21
    dollface_mell21 Posts: 14 Member
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    She almost sound like my mom annoying..like I have lost pounds without ur input dont need you telling me that's a lot on small plate😬really
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,306 Member
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    I don't know how old you are. But if you are an adult, you need to make new boundaries with your mom. Don't diet "with" her and don't discuss your eating plans with her. She sounds controlling and toxic. Move out if you can..or make plans to do that when you can afford to do so.
    If you are a child or teen, you will be better off not discussing or asking your mom for help when it comes to weight loss, It seems she doesn't understand it. Just make better choices.. move more.. eat less.. if you don't tell her you're dieting..maybe she'll get on to something else.
  • missmince
    missmince Posts: 76 Member
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    Since she's paying for groceries, I'm assuming you're not financially independent and moving out isn't happening immediately. Since she's complaining about cost, you could straight out ask her how much money she thinks is acceptable, and budget accordingly.

    However, since you said you were losing weight in 2019, and this is the first week, I don't think you should give up on coming to an agreement with your mom, who probably has out of date ideas about weight loss. Try being patient and explaining your weight loss plan, presumably including MFP logging, and give her a bit more time to accept your approach. If she is supporting you, telling her to mind her own business isn't going to work. Also, if you're an adult living with parents, this may just be a piece of larger family issues to be worked out. Counseling of some sort might help.

    Good luck!
  • TanyaHooton
    TanyaHooton Posts: 249 Member
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    I don't know how old you are, but you are allowing your mom to be an authority in something that she knows nothing about. Your mom is just a person with an opinion. Opinions are not facts; they are just someone's preferences. She might be your mom, but that doesn't mean she's right in all things. So recognize that she has opinions and is forceful about them, but try to have no feelings about her opinions and her way of distributing those opinions. Honestly, she doesn't sound very mature in her way of dealing both weight loss and with her family.

    Also, move out. That might take time, but there's a whole world out there where your mom's opinions mean nothing.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    how old are you OP?

    Do you contribute to any bills at home? Not sure how you could be eating more to lose weight than when you were maintaining your weight - did your mum complain about how much you ate before you started to lose weight?

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