Mom to Mom
kpuckett87
Posts: 5 Member
I'm Kayla. I'm 31, I have 3 beautiful daughters and I'm finding it hard to stay on track between being a mother and working full time. I moved about 3 years ago from my hometown to a large city. It's been incredibly hard not having my family and lifelong friends to lean on which has resulted in an addition of 70 pounds after my last daughter was born in December of 2017. I'm looking for tips or anything else that could provide me some motivation and possibly the reassurance I'm not the only one! Life is stressful and when you add 3 kids and a full-time+ job on top it, it weighs you down! I'm looking to lose out 90 pounds this year, fingers crossed. How do you guys deal with the stress of keeping up with work, family and significant other? Meal planning is hard to do when you're constantly cooking something different for the family and your picky kids. I've never posted anything here so just looking for feedback. Thanks a million!
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Replies
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You are not alone in how you feel. 38 here, 10 months ago I had my second- I am recently remarried and moved away from "home" to a new town and new job as stay at home Mom. I worked full time after my first, but that was 6 years ago, and the weight has stuck around both times. I think 2 years after my son, the weight came off (partially diet, partially a stressful divorce). This time, I'm trying to be kinder to myself and the weight (thinking I need 30 off) but it's a challenge with a newborn and managing the house. Lucky now, my husband is doing CICO meals with me, so that is a huge help- But I need some motivation to work out, and it's just not there yet. Good luck!!!1
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I don't say my kids are picky, they're straight up weirdos when it comes to food.
I understand your struggle meal planning. Mine may be a bit older than yours but they're still young. I try to have at least 1 thing for each weirdo on the table at dinner. You won't die if all you eat tonight is the salad (looking at you teenager) you won't die if all you eat tomorrow are oranges (looking at you first grader) Etc. That way I can keep to my Way of Eating while still making sure the small people get food. Mine are old enough that we can sit and talk about what to eat this week together which does help. Things like taco night are a good option. I can have taco salad, the littlest can have beans and cheese, the biggest can have a quesadilla and it's all coming out of one dinner. They also know that if they really don't want to eat the food that's been made for dinner there's always peanutbutter and bread in the kitchen and you won't die eating that. Even when you choose to eat only that for weeks on end (looking at you third grader).
Life happens. To pretend it doesn't doesn't do any good. Just remember that you're no good to anyone else if you're not good to yourself! You got this.5 -
Life happens. To pretend it doesn't doesn't do any good. Just remember that you're no good to anyone else if you're not good to yourself! You got this.
^^This. 100%.
Being a parent is hard. I feel that being a Mother is harder.
Having healthy options readily available helps me out quite a bit when I'm preparing my family's meal. When I'm making them them their meals with pasta, breads, and whatever else I'm trying to avoid... I always make sure to have some healthy snack ready to eat in the fridge for when the desire to take a bite of their food hits. My favorite is hummus and celery sticks!
My boys (husband included) are super picky eaters... so just converting them to eating healthy doesn't happen overnight! I have made a few small changes, like when a recipe calls for two pounds of hamburger, I mix in one pound of ground turkey in with the one pound of ground beef. Also, I picked up popsicles that are less sugary and have lower calories. No one has complained yet!
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I appreciate the responses you guys, it's definitely a struggle. None of my kids or even my boyfriend would eat salad for dinner. Half of them don't even like to eat lettuce which is crazy to me. But I can start making the small changes in their foods to make them healthier as well. I just prepare my food separate usually so I can keep track of calories and weigh mine out. I wish it was easier but I guess that's just part of the struggle. One day at a time is all I can do. Again, thank you for your feedback.0
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You are not alone in how you feel. 38 here, 10 months ago I had my second- I am recently remarried and moved away from "home" to a new town and new job as stay at home Mom. I worked full time after my first, but that was 6 years ago, and the weight has stuck around both times. I think 2 years after my son, the weight came off (partially diet, partially a stressful divorce). This time, I'm trying to be kinder to myself and the weight (thinking I need 30 off) but it's a challenge with a newborn and managing the house. Lucky now, my husband is doing CICO meals with me, so that is a huge help- But I need some motivation to work out, and it's just not there yet. Good luck!!!
Same here. No motivation for working out yet. Small steps back to making the right choices food wise. My youngest just turned a year old Dec 21. Then I have a 6 year old and an 11 year old. All 5 years apart which should make it easier but they're so different lol! What is CICO meals??0 -
I think the easiest thing for me is to eliminate as much of the needless decision making as possible in order to simplify things and eliminate mental fatigue that's keeping me from taking care of myself.
I have five kids, a spouse in the military, and I juggle many things on my own without any family support. I don't cook special food to lose weight, and I don't cook special food for my kids. Everybody eats the same thing or starves. It creates an unacceptable burden on me that I won't tolerate. Nobody has died yet. I eat less of what I make for everyone by using the recipe builder and a food scale and it works great.
I do meal plan, and I've found that having fewer choices really does make my life easier. I assign themes to each night of the week (roast night, soup, chicken, vegetarian, pizza, leftovers or dinner out, and pasta night). I have 3 or 4 go-to recipes for each night and I plan what will be made in advance when I write my grocery shopping list so I have everything on hand. There's no debating what will be for dinner every night because there's a list on the fridge that everyone can see. Many of the recipes I use are slow cooker recipes or can be made ahead. Lots of them can even be made by my 11 year old on nights when he cooks dinner.
As for other meals, I don't offer a million different choices for that either. I think about what consistutes a balanced meal (sandwiches and their various fixings typically, as well as fresh fruits and vegetables) and that's what I provide.
This works for me. I'm down almost 100 pounds from my highest weight 9 years ago (71 of those pounds in the past almost two years).7 -
DomesticKat wrote: »I think the easiest thing for me is to eliminate as much of the needless decision making as possible in order to simplify things and eliminate mental fatigue that's keeping me from taking care of myself.
I have five kids, a spouse in the military, and I juggle many things on my own without any family support. I don't cook special food to lose weight, and I don't cook special food for my kids. Everybody eats the same thing or starves. It creates an unacceptable burden on me that I won't tolerate. Nobody has died yet. I eat less of what I make for everyone by using the recipe builder and a food scale and it works great.
I do meal plan, and I've found that having fewer choices really does make my life easier. I assign themes to each night of the week (roast night, soup, chicken, vegetarian, pizza, leftovers or dinner out, and pasta night). I have 3 or 4 go-to recipes for each night and I plan what will be made in advance when I write my grocery shopping list so I have everything on hand. There's no debating what will be for dinner every night because there's a list on the fridge that everyone can see. Many of the recipes I use are slow cooker recipes or can be made ahead. Lots of them can even be made by my 11 year old on nights when he cooks dinner.
As for other meals, I don't offer a million different choices for that either. I think about what consistutes a balanced meal (sandwiches and their various fixings typically, as well as fresh fruits and vegetables) and that's what I provide.
This works for me. I'm down almost 100 pounds from my highest weight 9 years ago (71 of those pounds in the past almost two years).
Common sense AND teaching children to cook! Love this post and more importantly, how you've managed to accomplish all that you've done and raise 5 kids basically on your own. Bravo!2 -
DomesticKat wrote: »I think the easiest thing for me is to eliminate as much of the needless decision making as possible in order to simplify things and eliminate mental fatigue that's keeping me from taking care of myself.
I have five kids, a spouse in the military, and I juggle many things on my own without any family support. I don't cook special food to lose weight, and I don't cook special food for my kids. Everybody eats the same thing or starves. It creates an unacceptable burden on me that I won't tolerate. Nobody has died yet. I eat less of what I make for everyone by using the recipe builder and a food scale and it works great.
I do meal plan, and I've found that having fewer choices really does make my life easier. I assign themes to each night of the week (roast night, soup, chicken, vegetarian, pizza, leftovers or dinner out, and pasta night). I have 3 or 4 go-to recipes for each night and I plan what will be made in advance when I write my grocery shopping list so I have everything on hand. There's no debating what will be for dinner every night because there's a list on the fridge that everyone can see. Many of the recipes I use are slow cooker recipes or can be made ahead. Lots of them can even be made by my 11 year old on nights when he cooks dinner.
As for other meals, I don't offer a million different choices for that either. I think about what consistutes a balanced meal (sandwiches and their various fixings typically, as well as fresh fruits and vegetables) and that's what I provide.
This works for me. I'm down almost 100 pounds from my highest weight 9 years ago (71 of those pounds in the past almost two years).
Common sense AND teaching children to cook! Love this post and more importantly, how you've managed to accomplish all that you've done and raise 5 kids basically on your own. Bravo!
I agree with both of these posts wholeheartedly! I do know that there are some special circumstances where "picky eater" is valid, such as an autistic child with major food texture issues, for example. But most of the time (in my opinion), normal, healthy kids become picky eaters when allowed to do so. Growing up, my mom cooked one meal and that's what we all ate. There was no other choice. We went to school, we participated in extracurricular activities, we had lots of chores. We were hungry! And we ate what was offered to us.
I have raised my children the same way. Two of them have always been adventurous eaters who will try anything they are offered and enjoy a huge variety of foods. One of them tried to be a picky eater; I wasn't having it. He had to take one bite of everything offered. When he didn't like a food, we kept introducing it periodically. After awhile, it became clear that a few foods were absolutely non-negotiable, like tomatoes and strawberries. So he was allowed to skip those. I think we all have a few foods that we absolutely cannot stand. Guess what? He's now an adult who will try anything and eats most things. He still hates tomatoes. But guess who loves strawberries and asks for strawberry pie? When we traveled to Italy, our family had so much fun trying all of the amazing foods. My picky nephew ate nothing but cheese pizza for two weeks. So sad.
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DomesticKat wrote: »I think the easiest thing for me is to eliminate as much of the needless decision making as possible in order to simplify things and eliminate mental fatigue that's keeping me from taking care of myself.
I have five kids, a spouse in the military, and I juggle many things on my own without any family support. I don't cook special food to lose weight, and I don't cook special food for my kids. Everybody eats the same thing or starves. It creates an unacceptable burden on me that I won't tolerate. Nobody has died yet. I eat less of what I make for everyone by using the recipe builder and a food scale and it works great.
I do meal plan, and I've found that having fewer choices really does make my life easier. I assign themes to each night of the week (roast night, soup, chicken, vegetarian, pizza, leftovers or dinner out, and pasta night). I have 3 or 4 go-to recipes for each night and I plan what will be made in advance when I write my grocery shopping list so I have everything on hand. There's no debating what will be for dinner every night because there's a list on the fridge that everyone can see. Many of the recipes I use are slow cooker recipes or can be made ahead. Lots of them can even be made by my 11 year old on nights when he cooks dinner.
As for other meals, I don't offer a million different choices for that either. I think about what consistutes a balanced meal (sandwiches and their various fixings typically, as well as fresh fruits and vegetables) and that's what I provide.
This works for me. I'm down almost 100 pounds from my highest weight 9 years ago (71 of those pounds in the past almost two years).
Common sense AND teaching children to cook! Love this post and more importantly, how you've managed to accomplish all that you've done and raise 5 kids basically on your own. Bravo!
Thank you! It's a process for sure. I've struggled in the past with the unneccessary guilt associated with trying to do it all for everyone and the depression, anxiety, and personal neglect it entails. One thing I've figured out is that if I'm unhappy with the current terms of the labor I'm doing for my family, then I need to change the terms. That may involve asking for help or saying no to requests that I find unreasonable. If at any point they're unhappy with the terms I set, they're welcome to do the work themselves 🙂 One way or another, this frees up time to take better care of my mental and physical well-being and everyone learns a lesson in gratitude, personal responsibility, and team work.2 -
Im also 31, have 4 kids and a full time job. I lost all the weight and hit my goal before my 4th, then gained it all back, working on losing it again. First I do not let my kids be "picky" now there are some foods they genuinely do not like, so I will alter it to an extent. Like one son does not like american cheese, so if we have burgers or grilled cheese, I almost always have colby jack that I will put on his. or 3 of my kids hate tomatos (I hate them also), so when I cook with them i use petite dice, or not chunky pasta sauces, ect. I will alter their meals within reason, also they have to eat their vegetables, i mean I started them with like 2 bites and have worked up to 5 or 6 bites of veggies, nothing insane. occasionally (like very rarely) if there is a meal that i know they will not like (like fajitas) I will either make them something else simple, or they can have a PB&J.
I also do not make myself special food for losing weight, I either eat less, eat extra veggies, skip the higher calorie stuff like rice, or cook it to have less calories, like I rarely use oil, I sautee stuff in broth usually.0 -
Hi, I'm a mom of 2, soon to be 3. First you do have to learn to let things slide, maybe your house wont be perfectly clean and tidy all the time, that's fine. Something else I learned is to ask for help, and to expect it. I am not the maid. I'm not here to clean up after everyone and it shouldn't be all my responsibility to take care of the house. I used to just get pissed off my husband wasn't doing things and that I would have to ask him to do something in the first place, and then just do it myself. But instead now I ask or tell him what to do. Sometimes I just do the bare minimum. It's too stressful for me to try to do everything. I am not super woman.
As for cooking, I have never made separate meals for everyone. I make one meal and they can eat it or not. The only time I might make the kids something else is if I made something too spicy or something like that. And even then, it's just a grilled cheese or cheese and crackers, or something simple. To make different meals for everyone in the house is just unacceptable and i feel that my family would be taking advantage of me. I don't make special meals or "diet foods" to lose weight. I make the same old meals that I always make and portion them out appropriately.1 -
2 kids, work full time in very stressful field. First, I don't cook. For me, one meal a day (or one meal plus a small snack worked best). Didn't worry about how healthy it was (but typicaly was pretty healthy beacause needed a salad and veggies to stay full). I would buy a salad and tyson frozen chicken.
For the kids, I give them (or make them eat) whatever raw veggie they like at that moment, or frozen steam bag veggies with some butter on them, often those frozen meals with chicken, cheese, pasta and veggies (just add another bag of frozen veggies), frozen costo chicken, rotissierie, cereal or other breakfast for dinner, etc. Also, they love just plain buttered whole wheat noodles which works every time!1 -
Hi there !
Not alone... looking to lose 60 lbs I gained after my son was born.
I’ve done it before , so I know I can. I know we can !
Feel free to add for motivation.1 -
2 kids, full time job. For the most part, they eat what we do. But my meal planning needs serious improvement!1
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I can relate! I'm a single mom of two and also work full time. I feel so drained and stretched thin sometimes, it is hard to find the energy and motivation to work out or cook properly. I've developed some really lazy habits just to get through each day (frozen pizza for dinner, for example). I've gained about 30 lbs in the past year just from stress eating and being sedentary.
We can do this though! Make taking care of yourself a priority. It isn't indulgent or selfish (in a bad way, anyway) to prioritize your health and mental well being. I know that when I am eating healthily and exercising, I feel better about myself and am actually a better mom, so everyone wins.
Good luck!1
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