Dieting distress

AnnaLoboda · January 2019

I am in distress, somebody tell me how you cope with dieting. I would like to talk about the topic of how do you accept that your body holds everything you eat against you and you’ll have to limit yourself so much for the rest of your life? I am DISTRESSED to think that I’ll have to be on a diet for the rest of my life.
My situation is I’m 23, 5’9 and 202 pounds. I used to be addicted to coke and adderall and my body has went into starvation mode 3 times for a couple months each and now I gained 30 more pounds than I used to weigh and it’s been 6 months, why hasn’t the extra weight gone away? Why is it still there?
Also, people have accused me of body dismorphia. Is it really dismorphia if you’re actually overweight? My unhappiness is not pathological. How do you deal with people who criticize you when you have enough to suffer from? It’s already hard enough!
If I don’t exercise 5 days a week burning 600-700 calories each time I get upset like someone with OCD.
Part of it is because I’m 23 and I’m getting old. I already feel terrible about my age as it is.
Someone tell me how you cope please. How do you start accepting this is what your body is like now.

nutmegoreo · January 2019

I strongly encourage you to seek counseling. You are stressing about things that don't need to be as hard as you're making them.

MichelleSilverleaf · January 2019

There is a lot to unpack here.

First step is to get rid of the idea of 'diet' and instead look at it as a lifestyle change - which doesn't have to involve giving up things you like. You learn to make foods you like and treats you like fit into a way of eating you can maintain long term. You learn about portions, serving sizes and how to count calories. You learn what combination of macros (protein, fat and carbs) helps to keep you satisfied so you don't over-eat (unless the cause of your over-eating is due to a health issue which is a different story entirely). It is a learning process, we all went through it, but with some time and patience you will get there just as we all did.

Second, let go of the idea that your body 'holds everything against you'. It doesn't. If you eat more than you need, you gain. If you eat less than you need, you lose. If you've gained it's because you've been taking in more calories than you burned. Again, that comes from not realizing just how much you're eating which is the same place we all started before starting to lose weight. As for your question of whether you could have body dysmorphia despite being obese, maybe? That's a question for a medical professional to answer, not me and not your family. People will often throw those terms around with no clear knowledge of how to determine that and it's not helpful. Criticism is hard, even harder when it comes from family and unfortunately that's not an easy situation to deal with. If you don't live with any of them, you may consider limiting the time you spend with them.

So what do you do? You do the following:
- get a food scale
- start weighing everything you eat. Even packaged stuff.
- spend the first weeks or month learning about portions, serving sizes and building up a way of eating that you like and you can do the rest of your life
- when you get the hang of accurate tracking, set MFP to lose 1lb/week and give yourself a month of accurate tracking to see how you do
- keep up the workouts but understand you may not be burning as much as you think you are. Eat back only a portion of those calories to start.

ETA: I second nutmegoreo's suggestion about counseling.

cheryldumais · January 2019

Ok you have quite a lot in your original post. The pain is obvious and I agree some counselling might help you get it in perspective. The rest of it is easier to fix than you might think. BUT it takes time and patience. I suspect the Adderall had you humming along burning more calories than you do now. I just want to say congratulaltions on getting free of it! You need to readjust your eating habits now and although the first few weeks seem hard it gets alot easier over time. That is provided you don't try to lose all the extra weight overnight. As for the excessive exercising... exercise is great for health but not required for losing fat. It sounds like you are putting too much emphasis on that. I agree you should get some daily exercise but don't put such pressure on yourself. Find something you enjoy and let it be a stress reducer rather than a stress causer.

Age... I'm sorry I had to chuckle at you feeling old at 23. It's only that 23 was such a long time ago for me and frankly age is only a number. You are not old by anyone's measuring tape. You have a very long life ahead of you. Frankly I am younger now than I was 10 years ago just because I have improved my health so much. You can do the same.

Hang in there, find someone to talk to and start logging your food and eating at a SMALL deficit and you will feel much better in a few months.

AnnaLoboda · January 2019

First of all, my BMI is overweight, not obese.
And yeah, I get what you guys are saying, I am starting to learn about portioning and carb counting and stuff. Doing what I can to sound optimistic.

Dieting distress

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