Frustrated with myself.

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ashliedelgado
ashliedelgado Posts: 814 Member
in Motivation and Support
When I was 29, I decided I was going to get under 200lbs before I turned 30. I used MFP sans food scale, and T25, Couch to 5k, and just regular long walks with the doggos to hit that goal by my self inflicted deadline. I lost a total of 83 pounds before getting pregnant at 30. At 5'4" and 187, OB and I agreed that around 20lbs would be a good gain. I kept it right there, weighing 207 the morning I delivered. While nursing, I attempted to let breast feeding create my deficit but found that my supply would tank. Deciding my nugget was more important and I had my whole life to lose the rest of the weight, I ate at maintenance for a year and stayed right in the 190s.

Guys, my kid is 27 months old now. I am having the worst time getting back into the eating part of this. The activity is no problem! I work out in the morning at home, walk for my 30 minute lunch break (weather permitting), and in the evening if it's warm enough I'll throw the baby in the stroller and walk the doggo.

It does not matter how aggressive/lenient my calorie goal is. I'm going over it. Right now, it's aggressive because the weather is unpredictable, but in the summer it's usually around 1700, with me actually eating around 2000. I'll get really good at using my food scale for a week and then blow it again. I'm definitely eating at maintenance because I'm still in the 190s - got down to 186 in October? But Christmased it up.

It's so irritating because I KNOW WHAT TO DO. I KNOW HOW TO DO IT. My brain is just like No, food is awesome. Remember those two years we got to eat all that food? Why do you hate me?

I've tried analyzing if there is a deficit in my life that is causing me to stress eat or emotionally eat, I've tried all the tricks that got me to lose the 80lbs in the first place. I leave my scale out where I can see it. I buy single servings of things. I've replaced all the joy in my life with cauliflower rice and I am having the worst time getting over this hump.

It's not a weight plateau, its a will power/motivation plateau and I just needed to gripe about it. Thanks if you stuck this out!

Replies

  • missysippy930
    missysippy930 Posts: 2,577 Member
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    You have a huge motivation to do this, your little “nugget”! Being the healthiest you can be and setting an example for your child. You did it before, you can, and will, do it again.
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,287 Member
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    sounds like you don't have the eating less aspect down. Your calories seem high for someone your height and maintaining at 200 lbs for such a small frame has conditioned you to want more food.

    For me, totally changing my food habits has led me to success. my latest find is my electric spiralizer where I make an array of tasty pasta dishes with spiraled zucchini. Minimal calories with maximum benefit. Basically.. I've found tasty ways of eating the healthy low cal stuff so I eat a lot and lose weight. If I had to adhere to 1400 cals a day eating processed regular food. I would never be able to do it.
  • QueenBee2018
    QueenBee2018 Posts: 196 Member
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    I'm in the same boat although my youngest nugget is 21! I have lost 42-45 pounds but have been stuck for 6 months, grr. I will follow the calorie count for 5 or 6 days, then blow it and not lose an ounce. I think I will try maintenance for a longer while. I am tired of paying such close attention and still not losing... Anyone out there with additional words of wisdom?
  • dangerousdumpling
    dangerousdumpling Posts: 1,109 Member
    edited January 2019
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    I know exactly how you feel and I'm doing the same thing. I know exactly what to do and I've had false start after false start.
    Except my kid is 16.
    I only have myself to blame for not getting serious and being disciplined. It's simply a matter of what do I want more - cookies right now or the smaller pants later. Right now I'm choosing the cookies over and over.
    Just wanted you to know you're not alone.
  • imxnianne
    imxnianne Posts: 216 Member
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    Then you should already know, it's only the first week that's the hardest! Tame that appetite for 1 week, and you'll get back on track. :)
  • Psychgrrl
    Psychgrrl Posts: 3,177 Member
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    OP, could there be any reason you’re struggle to limit food? Since you’re a new mom, maybe a first-time mom, one thing I thought of was maybe there’s a little post-partum depression vexing you. Food is comfort to most of us. Can you talk with your doctor about a referral to see if there’s anything else bothering you that may be interfering with regaining your old eating habits and losing the weight? Please take care and CONGRATS on the nugget! :heart:
  • jotind
    jotind Posts: 15 Member
    edited January 2019
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    Fair play to you. Its bloody hard im 40 and have always dieted. My daughter is 22 and i put on 5 stone during pregnancy..i was 8st 7lb before and 12 st 7lb after giving birth. I went to weight watchers on amd off for about 10 years and got down to 10st but didnt go back after that because i found i was always hungry..i just love eating..ive used this app now for a few years and i find it easier but i fall off the waggon when ive lost a bit..i think the key is exercise..i hate exercising and dont go to the gym..its not for me. I dont drive so my exercise is walking or cycling to work or into town..that way i earn calories/ burn some off...i also always have to make sure i have my favourite snacks everyday so it doesnt feel like a diet..a two finger kitkat satisfies the chocolate craving and crisps like quavers or wotsits are my savoury favourites and low calorie... another great food to use is instant mashed potato with a dollop of low fat margarine..its low fat and filling and goes with most foods and low calorie.i also like my alcohol so always have a gin and slimline when i want to..low calorie and freat with a chunk of grapefruit in it!. i get bored so thats the danger time so i fill up by drinking zero coke..i know its not nutricious but water doesnt have the same effect for me when im out of calories and hungry..good luck..keep going and feel free to message 😉
  • namelesshere
    namelesshere Posts: 334 Member
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    I've replaced all the joy in my life with cauliflower rice and I am having the worst time getting over this hump.

    Go back to the basics. Weigh that food and log it.There really is no need to replace all the "joy" with something you don't like. Just eat less of it, fewer times per month. So.. if you want that goey, chocolatey whatever, cut yourself a half portion, log it into MFP and savor those minibites to enjoy every taste. Ihave found it easier to not have those things in the house, but buy them only as a special treat. The important part, make those treats fit into your calorie count for the day, and log them. Then you are not depriving yourself of the "joy" food brings you.

  • ashliedelgado
    ashliedelgado Posts: 814 Member
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    namelesshere wrote: »
    I've replaced all the joy in my life with cauliflower rice and I am having the worst time getting over this hump.

    That was mostly a joke - I apologize if it came off wrong.

    I have evaluated emotional reasons that might be triggering, I pass a PHQ-9 for depression and the GAD-7 for anxiety, and maybe it is just a comfort to me that once upon a time was less important than a self imposed goal/deadline (under 200 by 30). I even tried that again last year, to no avail. I wanted 2018 to be my last "obese" year, which is about 26lbs to get to an over weight BMI, which is coincidentally right around 100lbs total lost.

    I've decided to just take it day by day, and try to beat my personal "perfect" streak - days where I eat within goal and do so logging appropriately. Maybe some small wins will help me get back in the mindset. There is still time this year to hit that 100lbs/over weight BMI.
  • puffbrat
    puffbrat Posts: 2,806 Member
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    I have an 18-month old, and it's just really hard. You might not have a specific trigger but being a parent is exhausting and stressful even if you get to sleep all night. Also, my priorities have shifted and while being healthy should still be a top priority for me, it frankly just isn't sometimes. I can blame it on being tired, cranky, busy, distracted, snacking what the kid doesn't eat, etc. The fact is that sometimes taking care of myself just isn't my priority and I have had to learn to manage my weight and fitness within that realization. Take it one day at a time. Focus on getting back in the habit of logging consistently. Don't think about your calorie goal, just logging. Restricting to your goal will come from there. Also recognize that there will still be days or weeks that you eat over your goal (I was ~800 calories over each of the last 2 days) but log it and move on.
  • ashliedelgado
    ashliedelgado Posts: 814 Member
    edited January 2019
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    You know I hadn't even thought of this... I tell my husband that the mental load of running the household is a lot to handle all the time - and he is getting better - but I am the one who does the meal planning, the cooking, the laundry, the bill paying etc etc.

    And maybe this is just another thing that is harder in my 30s :D my older kids are 13 and 11, and it was probably easier to lose weight when they were independent and not up my behind like their younger sister is now.

    These are really good points!

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