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We broke up because...
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All she did was sit around0
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She popped all my bubble wrap0
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He always left the toilet paper roll empty0
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She never lined up the towels correctly by length0
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Walked out while he was explaining his “towel system” but not before knocking them all to the floor1
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She didn't like me whipping her with my wet towel after I got out of the shower0
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His horseplay was to rough0
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She wasn't into experimenting0
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His last experiment blew up the house0
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She didn't get homeowners insurance like I told her to. Now we're living in our camper.1
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His last dutch oven was lethal.. I died 💀0
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She insisted on wearing a gas mask to bed, it was like sleeping with Darth Vador.0
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slimgirljo15 wrote: »His last dutch oven was lethal.. I died 💀
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She said I wasn't romantic but whenever I said "I love ya", she heard her name 'Olivia' instead.0
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They were always obsessed over Olivia their ex. I’m over that 💩0
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Pooped everywhere..0
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She was never hungry and tragically starved to death 😢🤧😭0
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We didn't. After she starved to death, I had her cremated and her ashes stuffed into a teddy bear. I sleep with it nightly and take it everywhere with me.2
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In her will, she wrote she wanted to donate her implants to my next gf so we can always stay in touch. It was weird.0
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She says she is tormented about her previous life 🤨0
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