Memory Loss or Just too much on my plate???

bluiz13
bluiz13 Posts: 3,550 Member
edited October 1 in Motivation and Support
okay i feel like i'm slipping and it is starting to scare me....my sister has assured me i'm probably not losing my mind (Alzheimers - i'm not joking about this either, i know it is a very serious condition) but that i just have too much on my plate and i'm inclined to agree with her but right now i honestly feel like i'm going mad....

i'm forgetting to do important things at work and at home and i'm typically a very organized person...it actually scared me this weekend when i had absolutely no excuse for not completing 2 very important tasks - 1 for work and 1 for personal....then after talking to my sister this am, she just told me not to stress, that i just have to start really keeping track of stuff that is important right when it comes up and not put it off because all the OTHER crazy shiat i have to do takes over my mind and i forget.....

i feel like i have the burden of my entire family on my shoulders with all my responsibilities and i dont want to bash my husband "for not doing enough" but i think that is where i'm at....

it's not even the household responsibilities, its all the other everyday day to day crap ---- kids' haircut appts, new shoes, school supplies, what's for dinner, dentist appts, emma's cheerleading, finding a karate class for nick that works into our schedule, aftercare sign up, winter break camp signup, re-filling emma's cubby with clothes that fit her for her new classroom, emma's open house this week, coordinating pickups this week because my mom can't do thursday and i have a dr's appt, planning and inviting friends to the birthday parties next month and getting all the stuff we need for both including the kids's special birthday shirts, figuring out who will watch nick on the days there is no school now that i have the calendar for the year ---- my husband doesnt have to take care of any of this stuff cause i JUST do.....on top of work, house, my workouts, my appts, my activities, grocery shopping and menu planning....

i know the answer is to give some of this up....make my husband take on the responsibility but seriously most of the time it is harder to do that than to just do it ALL myself...

BUT now things are slipping thru the cracks and i'm starting to crack....i hate feeling this way and i dont want it to send me into an unhealthy spiral....I.E. putting myself last to make up for the shorted time i feel like i'm starting to have...

so with that being said, help me please....tips to stay organized...hit me....like i said, i'm really very organized but feel myself slipping and it worries me...

Replies

  • Juliejustsaying
    Juliejustsaying Posts: 2,332 Member
    may want to get your thyroid checked, that was one of the signs when I was finally diagnosed with underactive thyroid.
  • Kinda79
    Kinda79 Posts: 239 Member
    I totally understand! It seems like the last few months have been so stressful and crazy! I'm a mother of 4, a full time student as well as helping my folks out at our family pizza restaurant. I have to make lists every day and keep all my appointments on my blackberry calendar with a reminder bell to keep me on track! Make yourself lots of calendars and post them on the fridge and front door! Don't be to hard on yourself it's that busy time of the year and making a daily to do list helps me out sooooo much I would be lost without one! You're not alone my dear!
  • cvaneaton
    cvaneaton Posts: 154
    Don't forget you are human! Cut yourself some slack. You are hit by media all day long and everywhere how can one possibly do it all and not let something slip all we can do is out best.

    Listst seem to help for me and the trusy old calendar. i take memory fx which is shark cart. this is supposed to help as well. Studies show cinnamon in the mornig also helps...

    Anyway best of luck with your goals and celebrate each moment. :)
  • Myobi
    Myobi Posts: 129 Member
    It could be that you're really busy and have too much on your plate. However, it could be something else. I would go to your doctor and discuss it with him/her. If you're taking any medications, go over them with your doctor as well.

    It absolutely does not hurt to talk to your doctor. *IF* it is something medical rather than stress or medications, no matter what it is, you will be better off catching it early.

    Best wishes.
  • Therapist_mama
    Therapist_mama Posts: 135 Member
    When was the last time you took a vacation? Stress will definitely affect your memory and having as many things on your plate as you are describing sounds pretty stressful and the brain will do what it needs to do to reserve energy for the body.

    I would definitely rule out any medical conditions and also see what you could do to begin scaling back on all of your duties. You may need to have a conference with your husband and give him a list of things you feel confident he could handle. I understand how you feel that it is just easier to do the task yourself than try and enlist him, but the reality is your sanity is important!!

    He needs to pull his weight in the family too! It is important for him and his mental health as much as it is for you that he be involved in the day to day affairs of his family's life.

    I hope you find the answers that work best for you in your situation!
  • kathott
    kathott Posts: 72 Member
    I agree with Evalonne....get yourself an appointment with your doctor. make sure for own peace of mind that there is not a medical explanation for your feelings.
    I was the same way when our children were younger...I did everything. I still do,but with the girls all grown up its easier for sure. If there is nothing wrong physically than you have likely been overcompensating. Our minds & bodies can do this for a length of time, but then we hit our limit and we quickly begin to de-compensate. I know what you are saying about "it just being easier to things yourself, but you should be getting help with everyday tasks - whether the men live up to our standards or not. you need to lighten the load before you are unable to deal with anything. Make a list of chores and look at what you
    could hand over to your hubby....there must be something. Make a chore list for everyone...including your children. even young children can help with some chores. involve everyone on a saturday morning and you will soon see that it really does lighten your load.

    first and foremost, you have to take care of yourself because soon you would be good for anything, let alone forgetting things here and there. We always say..yeah yeah, we know....but take it from one who said that....you MUST take care of yourself.....
    good luck with everything...I wish you well.
    Kathleen
  • jklm
    jklm Posts: 281
    What I do: Make weekly list, monthly, yearly lists of what needs to be done. Of course, for today you just need to look at Mon-Fri to get started. (Later, you can keep the monthly and yearly lists open on Excel so you can add/delete easily.)
    Next, you pass the weekly list back and forth between yourself and your husband (be sure to let him look the list over and add anything he does regularly to the list so that he's a full partner in list making) - Then you each choose one task to do and put your initials next to it. You'll naturally take the ones that matter the most to you.
    A big part of this is realizing that you need help and that your insistance on doing everything your way (the right way) is not working. Your husband will step up and do his part if you allow it. A happy home and marriage are possible once we realize "being right" and "doing things right" are really judgments that eventually shut our husbands out of the marriage and the raising of children. We're really judging our husbands and that's never good...relax your standards, make worklists, let your husband be a full partner and enjoy the rewards of doing half the work and having more free time to enjoy your young family.
    (I also made a easy chorelist for my 2 kids that they passed back and forth choosing jobs from. Everyone loves the feeling of choice!)
    Of course...this was what my problem was and how I continue to solve it...you could have a medical reason for feeling the way you do, so check that out first. Thinking of you...take care!
  • jllipson
    jllipson Posts: 646
    I have had a lot of this going on, I think it's just so much happening all at once and you can't focus. Seriously doubt Alzheimers, because typically someone with Alzheimers doesn't recognize all the things that you have. Even today, I have to keep telling myself my oldest and I have eye exams, I know this, but keep saying, we'll do this or that after she's out of school - nope, gotta go for exam...

    I agree about a calendar or phone reminders - even stuff at work, put it on your phone, so an alarm goes off until you tell it you have finished it - or even on your computer at home and at work, so a reminder pops up every so often.

    I've been writing so much on our calendar at home that my hubby has finally realized - look there first, then ask if we have anything planned! Of course, you also have to keep up with changes - like his reunion date got changed, now WE can't make it, but he's going to go alone for the game..

    Notes - keep a notebook handy, so when someone calls or you hear something or whatever, you can jot it all down!
  • Shirley61
    Shirley61 Posts: 7,758 Member
    You are overwhelmed as I read your post. Dr. appt. to see if you need any
    meds and then give some of that to your husband. You can't possibly do
    it all!! Plus you are trying to eat right, exercise and take care of yourself.
    Spread out some of the resposibilities.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    Your sister is likely right, but if you are worried about it see a doctor and find out. If it were something other than stress the sooner you find out the better. Ignoring a medical problem will not make it go away. Worst case scenario, something is found but you get the treatment you need. Best case scenario, you have one less thing causing you stress.
  • calliope_music
    calliope_music Posts: 1,242 Member
    i think too much on your plate! can you delegate some of this to your husband? i take some time either in the evening or the weekend and make him a little list of what he needs to do, whether it's the dishes or calling the mechanic. i even write the numbers down so he doesn't have an excuse.

    also, do you use a planner or organizer? i find them reallllly helpful. Target also sells different calendars which allow families to write in what they're doing/what's for dinner and stick them on the fridge.
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