Clean on a tight budget?
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but we use his paycheck to buy food.
And YOU gave him 2 children, one of whom you are still breastfeeding. His KIDS also deserve a variety of nutritious foods. It's great that he earns a paycheck but it's not like your needs, and those of and your children, are not deserving of consideration also.
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Pork loin - one large pork loin roasted in the oven will feed one man for a week. Serve it hot and fresh on day 1, then slice it for sandwiches, and toss it with veggies in stir fry on subsequent days. Buy frozen veg of kinds your husband likes.
With such a long picky eater list, I would be seriously tempted to ask him to cook for himself, give him his portion of the budget, and let him figure it out, since he refuses to eat most inexpensive staples.1 -
The issue isnt cooking, its paying for it. I happily cook all day but we use his paycheck to buy food.
Does he believe that he gets to decide what everyone eats because he has the paying job?12 -
The issue isnt cooking, its paying for it. I happily cook all day but we use his paycheck to buy food.
Well, it's cheaper to cook from scratch. Sounds like you have the time and the willingness to cook from scratch?
In your situation I would cook separate meals for him. Or cook meat for him, starch and veg you both like (potato and broccoli?) and an acceptable protein source for you.
I don't "eat clean" but I do have food ethics, and was able to abide by them for $200/month, and this was while eating some organic foods, and dairy and meat from animals that were raised more humanely than conventional methods, so more expensive.4 -
ps - my OH would love if I rotated between meals like meatloaf and potatoes, and spaghetti with sausage and meatballs, but while I do cook foods like that quite often, I also throw in a lot of experiments and ethnic* foods. He always has the option to have hot dogs if the experiment fails, but I think has only once done that.
*Ethnic meaning if his mother didn't serve it or have the spices for it. Pizza is NOT ethnic
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Not to be rude, but sometimes you need to eat what you don't like. If your husband is such a picky eater that his foods stress the budget too much. he will need to step up to the plate and get a different job that will support his tastes or adjust his tastes to support his budget. That said, He may need to eat more potatoes and less meat. Does he really need as much as he is eating? Only he can assess that. It might be time to pre plan. Make a menu that is reasonable for both of you. Make sure your toddler has some variety in his diet. Kids will follow parent's examples though so you may need to occasionally eat something from your no list as will your husband. Not saying you would need to eat a lot of it but sample it so your toddler does not develop the same fussy tastes you both have. After your weekly meals are planned it will be time to go shopping. Most menus do have serving sizes. Make your husband aware how many meals each recipe needs to last for. For example, if you purchase steak, 1 lb of steak, a 4 oz serving may be unrealistic for your DH but he will need to stay in budget. so the four servings should feed your DH 3 meals and your toddler 2. Of course not enough daily calories so he will need to choose from acceptable sides to fill out his meal. As for you, you could make yourself a nice vegetarian main dish and share your sides with your toddler if it is something Dh will not eat. Good luck in finding the middle ground and being able to feed all of you. As your toddler grows of course his nutritional needs will also. If you are struggling now, what will it be like when both kids are eating food.7
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I don't think we should be trying to decide how they should run their family.
OP, look, you are not going to go into your kitchen one day and invent a new nutrient rich vegetable that tastes like chicken. You may need to pivot your expectations and look for easy wins that you can build upon in the future and, more importantly, try to be happy in the meantime. Instead of solving work on mitigating.
It seems to me that if you can lower the cost of feeding your husband at least part of the time which should be easy it will leave more of a budget for you.3 -
I am concerned by the mentality that "he does all the work to get the money so i have to make him whatever he wants". I assume there was some discussion about having kids and you doing all the work on caring for them and the house and the cooking. YOU DO contribute every. single. day. to the household. you DO work every day. that shouldn't be dismissed as he is caring for all of you all on his own.
It sounds like if you have time to cook, the solution is to cook two sets of meals. you can cook batches of beans and such for your meals, a roast (or inexpensive cut of meat, whatever is on sale) for him and maybe some veggies/starches you can both eat. kids can eat from a bit of both to get some of everything.
like, make a big batch of curry with lentils and vegetables for your (it can be super cheap) and freeze in portions for you or you and the kids. then you can make the protein husband likes and pull out your prepared curry. share some vegetables/rice/pita. similarly with vegetarian chili.
Pre-making some batch meals for your (chili, curry) can save you for making two FULL meals daily.
depending on sales maybe look at making shepherd pie for him. or lasagna (would he eat vegetarian? if not make two, one for vegetarians and one for him).4 -
While one of the vegetarians in our family is off to college and I'm not having to be quite as creative as I used to be, for many years I was quite good at putting dinner on the table with something for everyone. For instance, if there's a starch in common, say baked potatoes, one goes with whatever cheap pork/beef roast you have, the other gets loaded with black beans and whatever piques your interest.
As others have said, having a cheap cut of meat can be turned into multiple meals. Cook it long and slow and flavor it differently. For instance, the meat that went with his potatoes last time gets simmered with some cumin,etc and put into a tortilla for mexican night (and those black beans or whatever veg suits your fancy goes into yours).
I also agree with others that he needs to branch out, but I'm also realistic and know that's not going to happen overnight. By having other things available, you might also tempt him out of his comfort zone.1 -
OP, I read your posts to my husband and asked his opinion. His response was really harsh so I'm just going to quote it.
"The problem here is that she's taken on the job of fitting everyone's dietary needs into the budget as if these were both her problems. Making food that fits everyone's needs is her problem, but the lack of money isn't her problem, it's his problem. Either he earns enough money to buy the things he prefers to eat or he gets to eat other things."8 -
rheddmobile wrote: »OP, I read your posts to my husband and asked his opinion. His response was really harsh so I'm just going to quote it.
"The problem here is that she's taken on the job of fitting everyone's dietary needs into the budget as if these were both her problems. Making food that fits everyone's needs is her problem, but the lack of money isn't her problem, it's his problem. Either he earns enough money to buy the things he prefers to eat or he gets to eat other things."
The bolded made me lol.
OP, I have no advice because it's only me I'm feeding and I eat whatever tastes good to me but I do agree that even tho it's his money buying the food, you're still presumably the one buying and cooking it for him. If he won't or can't eat what you seem to be at least trying to cater to his tastes, that's on him. (That might not have made sense.) He should learn to make the foods he WILL eat himself.
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I’m a pretty picky eater and right now my wife is 39 weeks pregnant (gonna pop any minute) but the plan is for her to stay home so well be on a single income. I don’t love veggies but I eat them. My wife compromises by being willing to have things like carrots and spinach in stock much more than cucumber and bell peppers (which o really don’t like), but she still get them for herself. She’ll make us salads for dinner or as a side and I’ll usually stick to carrots and spinach with a little bit of dressing and she might add some bell pepper or cucumber or both to hers. It works. She also reminds me that as our baby girl grows ill have to be eating more veggies at dinner to be a good example to our kids. I understand this.
I doubt you were looking for couples counseling advice but I agree with the sentiments other expressed... hubby could stand to go thru a little maturing on this front and you could probdbly put your foot down a little more or let him make his own food. I recently heard the value a stay at home mom adds is equivalent to a $140,000/year salary job - so don’t sell yourself short - you do a tonnnnn more work than most.9 -
I completely missed the fact you are a vegetarian. You probably realize there is no way to feed yourself and him the same food, right? One of you will be starving.
Thats why im compromising and eating processed junk-we cant afford such wildly different menus unless somebody eats ramen for every meal.
I never understand it when people say things like this. If you have a full kitchen (stove, oven, refrigerator, freezer), adequate storage space, and power stability (i.e., you're not likely to lose the food in your refrigerator/freezer because of grid issues or inability to pay the electric bill), it's almost always cheaper to cook food from scratch rather than pay for the convenience of packaged food.
And if you budget and plan, so that you either don't cook enough to have leftovers or you eat the leftovers at another meal, I truly don't see how different menus inherently cost more. You're not eating the pork chop or ground beef or chuck roast or whatever meat was cheapest this week, so you don't incur that expense for your meal. Your husband isn't eating any vegetables or beans, so you don't incur those expenses for him. For most people, it's the extra work that makes this such a pain in the neck, but you say you're tired of not cooking, so I wouldn't think it would be such a deal breaker for you.
Get enough meat to last your husband and toddler for the week -- whatever's cheapest. If they're eat the same thing throughout the week, turn it into a casserole of some kind, and when you reheat it, you can smother your husband's portion in a cheese-based sauce for added calories (buy store-brand block cheese and grate it yourself for economy). Alternatively, if you have freezer space, keep out a couple nights' worth of the casserole in the refrigerator and free the rest in hubby- and toddler-size portions. Or cook the meat of the week simply on the weekend, and dress it up in different ways throughout the week for different meals (one night with cheese sauce for hubby and whatever dipping sauce your toddler does; another night as a taco or burrito filling; another night over noodles with a spicy peanut sauce; etc.)
Cook a batch of beans (from dried, for economy) for yourself, and a little extra if the toddler will sample them, and again, dress it up different ways throughout the week (in a salad, a quick soup, a chili, as taco or burrito filling, over pasta with a tomato or pureed veggie sauce, etc.) or make a big batch of chili or a hearty soup from it if you're willing to eat it the same way throughout the week (or use the freeze-some strategy described above for the meat dish.2 -
You have an "and" problem. You cannot shop inexpensively "and" support your current eating habits. So what can you do? You have to make compromises somewhere. Your "and" must become an "or" and you have to make choices about how to best support your goals under the current circumstances. It sounds like you have lots of conflicting goals between the two of you. There are definitely ways to simplify your meal planning that don't require things from a bag or box, but it may require you to cook for yourself individually and create a simple menu with like ingredients. Lots of good advice on foods to purchase inexpensively and how to prep them in previous posts.
Now would be a good time to sit down with your spouse and discuss how you can make changes to your diets and meal plan. If he isn't supportive of making changes and assisting you in frugal and healthful home management as a team, that's an entirely different problem we can't assist you with, unfortunately.4 -
Edit. Hubs will not eat: yogurt sweet potato beans lentils nuts oatmeal bread tomato onion peppers hummus mayo avocado fish desserts milk alternative milk shellfish no veg except cuke, canned green beans, corn, and broccoli with ranch. Only apples grapes banana.
Your husband and toddler can eat meat/starch (potato, corn, pasta, rice, etc.), + veg (and if husband doesn't eat the veg, his choice, you should make sure it's out for the kids as kids need to try things multiple times to like it often and modeling eating patterns is important, and easy enough to include green beans, broccoli, and cucumber often). If you want vegetarian, you can make beans/lentils for a few days ahead and eat it with the veg or the veg + starch or have eggs or greek yogurt with the beans/starch, depending on protein and cal needs and breast feeding requirements (i.e., anything you should avoid).
The fruit your husband likes seems easy enough to work with and likely the cheaper options, buy apples, grapes, banana, and if you like other things like berries and clementines or oranges, buy them and eat them with your toddler.
If no one in your family eats fish, don't make fish.Clean means...like, im sick of not cooking and everything coming from a stupid box or freezer bag because we cant make any kind of cohesive plan. I miss fresh, home prepared, limited ingredient
So cook. What do you enjoy cooking?2 -
lynn_glenmont wrote: »I completely missed the fact you are a vegetarian. You probably realize there is no way to feed yourself and him the same food, right? One of you will be starving.
Thats why im compromising and eating processed junk-we cant afford such wildly different menus unless somebody eats ramen for every meal.
I never understand it when people say things like this. If you have a full kitchen (stove, oven, refrigerator, freezer), adequate storage space, and power stability (i.e., you're not likely to lose the food in your refrigerator/freezer because of grid issues or inability to pay the electric bill), it's almost always cheaper to cook food from scratch rather than pay for the convenience of packaged food.
Yes, I agree.0 -
If your husband refuses to eat foods that have to be a staple of your diet as a vegetarian, maybe it's time to have him feed himself and you worry about yourself and your little one. Maybe someone else here will see something jump out at them, but you pretty much eliminated anything "unprocessed" I eat in your follow up post. Good luck!
Each family dynamic is going to be different though. I make different meals for my husband and kids than what I eat, and have done this for almost 7 years now (ever since I started my weight loss phase). Sometimes there's common ingredients (like when we do tacos, I sub out the meat for beans for me etc), but for the most part I have two separate menu plans. It hasn't been a big deal and it makes meal time go smoother around here.2 -
If your husband refuses to eat foods that have to be a staple of your diet as a vegetarian, maybe it's time to have him feed himself and you worry about yourself and your little one. Maybe someone else here will see something jump out at them, but you pretty much eliminated anything "unprocessed" I eat in your follow up post. Good luck!
Each family dynamic is going to be different though. I make different meals for my husband and kids than what I eat, and have done this for almost 7 years now (ever since I started my weight loss phase). Sometimes there's common ingredients (like when we do tacos, I sub out the meat for beans for me etc), but for the most part I have two separate menu plans. It hasn't been a big deal and it makes meal time go smoother around here.
Which would be reasonable if there didn't appear to be some resistance to that method because the husband brings in the paycheck and may be dictating purchases. OP will have to clarify that.1 -
If your husband refuses to eat foods that have to be a staple of your diet as a vegetarian, maybe it's time to have him feed himself and you worry about yourself and your little one. Maybe someone else here will see something jump out at them, but you pretty much eliminated anything "unprocessed" I eat in your follow up post. Good luck!
Each family dynamic is going to be different though. I make different meals for my husband and kids than what I eat, and have done this for almost 7 years now (ever since I started my weight loss phase). Sometimes there's common ingredients (like when we do tacos, I sub out the meat for beans for me etc), but for the most part I have two separate menu plans. It hasn't been a big deal and it makes meal time go smoother around here.
Sure. Which is why I said maybe.
Some people find its easier to make different foods for different people. I however know several people who don't have the time or inclination to add extra variables to meal planning and found happiness by letting everyone know that one meal would be prepared, and if they didn't want it, they could make their own.1
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