Counting calories vs. eating disorder
HakunaMatata137
Posts: 63 Member
The line between healthy weight loss/ calorie counting, and an “eating disoeder” is something I’ve always struggled with.
How do you know that what you’re doing is healthy, mindful eating versus an unhealthy obsession with calories and/or excercise?
How do you know that what you’re doing is healthy, mindful eating versus an unhealthy obsession with calories and/or excercise?
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Replies
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because I don't give up my life due to counting calories or exercise.
I don't make exercise my only activity. I will not turn down invites out because I won't be able to track it exactly...and last but not least...I don't take a scale when I do go out to weigh my food.
I live my life and have fun.29 -
Go significantly over your calories. Do it on purpose one day.
How does that make you feel? Panicky? Depressed? Hopeless? Any similar overreaction? If so, you're probably in a dangerous head space about your weight loss.21 -
To me, an ED is something that impacts your wellbeing in multiple ways -- physically, emotionally, socially.
Counting calories doesn't do that for me. It actually enhances my wellbeing.
I'm meeting my nutritional needs, getting great check-ups, hitting all my fitness goals, socializing normally, feeling happy and satisfied by the foods I'm eating and how I look.
How can I consider something to be unhealthy for me if I can't point to a single way it is harming me or threatening to harm me?12 -
The difference is between whether it helps or hurts you. If counting calories is not impacting your physical and emotional well being in a negative way and you're able to enjoy yourself, don't over restrict calories, and are okay with life getting in the way of your ability to count calories, then you probably don't have an unhealthy obsession or an eating disorder. However, if your social life suffers because you're scared of going out and eating, you continue to eat low calories despite negative physical consequences, eating too much results in depression or fear, things along those lines... then you should probably stop what you're doing and/or seek help before it gets worse.7
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I am comfortable with this process taking as long as it needs to take. I am not overly concerned with how I look but more of how I feel and the implications of carrying extra weight on my health as I go forward. I am able to remain disciplined and moderate my highs and lows so they are not major shifts in mood.
I am not sure how much of that applies but I believe I am healthy and stable in my weight loss efforts.3 -
If you're concerned about an ED, I urge you to talk your doctor about it. Generally those who practice healthy, mindful eating are not worried about whether they have an ED. That's not meant to sound judgmental in any way, but I do want you to seek appropriate help. Now if you feel completely comfortable with your choices and a friend or family member is telling you this, it might not apply.
In most cases, if someone is worried about ____, it usually applies to them. For a simple example, if someones know they're a patient, kind person, they go about their day and don't worry and ask others "how do I know if I'm being kind or mean?"14 -
1. I’m not aiming for an unhealthy weight or an unhealthy rate of loss.
2. I don’t beat myself up for days I go over
3. If I’m hungry, I eat more even if it means I will go over my calorie goal
4. I eat back my exercise calories
If you are worried about possibly having an ED seeking out some help is never a bad thing.4 -
If you think it's a problem then it likely is. If it consumes your life or negatively impacts it then it's likely to be at least verging on an ED. There are all kinds of screening tests for it online if you're curious: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/
I'll share my experience as someone who did cross the line from normal calorie counting into something like orthorexia.
It was my therapist who caught it before it got too bad. I was seeing her for depression and anxiety and we talked about my diet a lot in the process. I had been spiraling down into it so slowly that I thought what I was going through was a perfectly normal part of dieting. But it wasn't. My diet was consuming me.
My weight loss and my food choices had become all that I was thinking about. I was constantly doing the math to see how many calories I had left, what I could fit into my day, what if I had this, what if I had that instead, what if I couldn't log it, how was I going to measure it, what if something unexpected happened, if I skipped this snack then I would lose weight in X amount of time but if I ate it then I would lose it in Y amount.
It's perfectly normal to think about some of these things while dieting, but not all of the time. Social events were giving me anxiety. My first thread here was a panicky question about how to avoid weight gain at parties because there was so much food at them and the water weight fluctuations afterward were killing me.
I was pushing myself harder and harder to burn off calories while eating the bare minimum to lose the weight on a ridiculous timeline I'd set up. I didn't have the energy for my workouts and I was still doing them twice a day to break through a plateau that only existed in my head. I think I was aiming to NET something like 822 calories/day. It was awful.
I told everyone that I felt fine because I truly thought that I did.
I broke into tears in a friend's driveway because I didn't know how I was going to log the food inside when I got to the party.
I was eating at a world class burger joint and broke into tears in front of my family because I'd budgeted for the quinoa burger but they were out. I ate a portabella burger instead, even though I hate them, and wouldn't let anyone help me by sending it back.
It was my therapist who finally looked at me and said "I work with clients who have actual celiac disease who worry less about eating in a restaurant than you do." That woke me up. She wanted me to give the diet up but I wasn't ready. Instead we found some compromises (closing my diary here so I could stress less about logging, removing my timeline for weight loss, allowing fun foods back into my diet, and relaxing my rules at parties). I still lost the weight, and I hope that no one else every has to go through a similar story.25 -
I walk that line as well... though between slightly different issues/tendencies/habits. I try to take a step back periodically and think about how my behaviors and choices are affecting my overall happiness and whether or not they are still in line with my goals (both health/fitness and bigger picture).3
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I, too, have a history of ED. Lots of things that you can do to avoid the rabbit hole--you have to figure out what works for you. For me, that means I'm here (I'm on a pretty good streak), I check in, I track food/eat mindfully/control my portions, I exercise. I do not, however, weigh everything--that, for me, was too triggering. I'm doing just fine--physically, emotionally, socially...4
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diannethegeek wrote: »If you think it's a problem then it likely is. If it consumes your life or negatively impacts it then it's likely to be at least verging on an ED. There are all kinds of screening tests for it online if you're curious: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/
I'll share my experience as someone who did cross the line from normal calorie counting into something like orthorexia.
It was my therapist who caught it before it got too bad. I was seeing her for depression and anxiety and we talked about my diet a lot in the process. I had been spiraling down into it so slowly that I thought what I was going through was a perfectly normal part of dieting. But it wasn't. My diet was consuming me.
My weight loss and my food choices had become all that I was thinking about. I was constantly doing the math to see how many calories I had left, what I could fit into my day, what if I had this, what if I had that instead, what if I couldn't log it, how was I going to measure it, what if something unexpected happened, if I skipped this snack then I would lose weight in X amount of time but if I ate it then I would lose it in Y amount.
It's perfectly normal to think about some of these things while dieting, but not all of the time. Social events were giving me anxiety. My first thread here was a panicky question about how to avoid weight gain at parties because there was so much food at them and the water weight fluctuations afterward were killing me.
I was pushing myself harder and harder to burn off calories while eating the bare minimum to lose the weight on a ridiculous timeline I'd set up. I didn't have the energy for my workouts and I was still doing them twice a day to break through a plateau that only existed in my head. I think I was aiming to NET something like 822 calories/day. It was awful.
I told everyone that I felt fine because I truly thought that I did.
I broke into tears in a friend's driveway because I didn't know how I was going to log the food inside when I got to the party.
I was eating at a world class burger joint and broke into tears in front of my family because I'd budgeted for the quinoa burger but they were out. I ate a portabella burger instead, even though I hate them, and wouldn't let anyone help me by sending it back.
It was my therapist who finally looked at me and said "I work with clients who have actual celiac disease who worry less about eating in a restaurant than you do." That woke me up. She wanted me to give the diet up but I wasn't ready. Instead we found some compromises (closing my diary here so I could stress less about logging, removing my timeline for weight loss, allowing fun foods back into my diet, and relaxing my rules at parties). I still lost the weight, and I hope that no one else every has to go through a similar story.
Thank you for sharing your story. Your story sounds similar to mine. I applaud you for being able to get back to a more normal mindset about food/weight loss. Keep it up
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Thank you to everyone for your insightful and inspiring responses. You all put things into a new perspective for me.
The issue I’m running into is this. I’ve ALWAYS hated my body. Even when I weighed 120 lbs at 5’3” (a healthy weight for me). But now I’m 175 lbs. I do have to lose weight. I’m considered overweight.
But I can’t seem to lose weight unless I obsess over calories. I measure every. Single. Thing. Grams of carrots. Tablespoons of almond milk in my coffee. I get the most low calorie foods (fat free reddi whip, calorie free coffee syrup, low calorie fake butter, etc) even if it’s not what I want. I get tons of anxiety at restaurants, parties, etc. I bring my food scale to restaurants and vacation. My day revolves around “how many calories do I have left”.
BUT, at the same time, isn’t that what you’re supposed to do when you’re on a weight loss journey? They always say “it’s not supposed to be easy.” Right?? I get so many mixed messages.
I don’t under eat though. More often than not I eat OVER my caloric limit at the end of the day, despite being obsessed with them throughout the day, counting every single thing. Then the next morning, I hate myself for it, I view myself as “huge”. Then the exact cycle repeats. Every single day.
I don’t understand9 -
And yes it ruins my whole day if I go over my calories the night before. And it happens SO OFTEN, even if I set my calories to like 1800. I get unmotivated and don’t feel confident or like doing anything. But then if I have a few “good” days, I feel incredible and hopeful0
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I don’t even allow myself to wear nice clothes or makeup or paint my nails (for examples) if I go over my calorie limit bc I feel there’s no point in even trying to look nice.
Sorry for all these posts lol. I’m just realizing a lot as I type5 -
I always think of people with ED’s as eating 700 cals/day and being stick thin. I do neither of those things but I wish I could.
It’s almost like if I do have an ED, I can’t even do that right! I have all the mental struggles of someone with an ED, without actually being able to implement the practices.0 -
HakunaMatata137 wrote: »I always think of people with ED’s as eating 700 cals/day and being stick thin. I do neither of those things but I wish I could.
It’s almost like if I do have an ED, I can’t even do that right! I have all the mental struggles of someone with an ED, without actually being able to implement the practices.
Eating disorders manifest in a wide variety of ways and come in bodies of all sizes and shapes. If you're having issues, then see a specialist as soon as you can.3 -
HakunaMatata137 wrote: »I don’t even allow myself to wear nice clothes or makeup or paint my nails (for examples) if I go over my calorie limit bc I feel there’s no point in even trying to look nice.
Sorry for all these posts lol. I’m just realizing a lot as I type
You deserve to feel good and look pretty and wear fancy things no matter what you've eaten that day. I'm sorry that you're going through this and feel this way. It's really crummy, isn't it? But what you eat or how much you eat has no connection to what a good person you are. That's hard to realize, sometimes. But it's also true.
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HakunaMatata137 wrote: »The line between healthy weight loss/ calorie counting, and an “eating disoeder” is something I’ve always struggled with.
How do you know that what you’re doing is healthy, mindful eating versus an unhealthy obsession with calories and/or excercise?
Doctors and tests. Healthy eating and exercise is not going to hurt you But it the bad advice you get will.1 -
HakunaMatata137 wrote: »I always think of people with ED’s as eating 700 cals/day and being stick thin. I do neither of those things but I wish I could.
It’s almost like if I do have an ED, I can’t even do that right! I have all the mental struggles of someone with an ED, without actually being able to implement the practices.
Eating disorders come in many shapes and forms. Actually, by the time binges are averaged in, anorexics typically consume about 900 calories a day.
If you’re worried, ask your pcp for a referral to a dietitian. Let an expert carry some of the burden for you.0 -
jasonpoihegatama wrote: »HakunaMatata137 wrote: »I don’t even allow myself to wear nice clothes or makeup or paint my nails (for examples) if I go over my calorie limit bc I feel there’s no point in even trying to look nice.
Sorry for all these posts lol. I’m just realizing a lot as I type
You are very good looking.
A guy should not comment on a woman's looks who is a stranger to him unless asked.
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HakunaMatata137 wrote: »The line between healthy weight loss/ calorie counting, and an “eating disoeder” is something I’ve always struggled with.
How do you know that what you’re doing is healthy, mindful eating versus an unhealthy obsession with calories and/or excercise?
I’m a firm believer that counting calories can lead into a eating disorder. I got myself out of that obsessive hell hole. All you think about is numbers, it’s just too mind consuming. Everything i eat, i have to log it in? No thanks.it’s not a healthy mindset for me. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it for short term but long life long doesn’t seem practical. I rather learn, and train myself on how to eat moderately with a bit of exercise. Im losing weight just by doing that.
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HakunaMatata137 wrote: »I don’t even allow myself to wear nice clothes or makeup or paint my nails (for examples) if I go over my calorie limit bc I feel there’s no point in even trying to look nice.
Sorry for all these posts lol. I’m just realizing a lot as I type
Life is too short!0 -
Am not a dr, but if my daughter was engaging in the behavior you are mentioning, I would be very concerned she had an ed. You are having emotional breakdowns and panic attacks, are punishing yourself by saying you don’t deserve to wear clothes or makeup you like, your day revolves around food choices, and your calorie intake defines your mood and how you feel about yourself. It’s time to reach out for professional help. Many hugs to you but this doesn’t sound like it’s the best fit for you at this time and they can help you find other options.1
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Disclaimer: not a professional, and I do think you should talk to a professional. Let the pros decide whether you do or don't have an eating disorder.
Okay! Now I'm going to address some of the things you say. You say you can't seem to lose weight unless you obsess over calorie counting and eat things you hate. But you are doing this now and it isn't working! You aren't losing weight while behaving like this. If you are going to do things that don't work anyway, why not do things that make you happy instead?
The thing is, weight gain is not a punishment for bad behavior and weight loss is not a reward for suffering. Weight gain or loss is about taking in fewer calories than you expend. Those calories can be your favorite foods at a big old party with your favorite people, and if you take in fewer than you expend, you will lose weight. I promise! And if you make yourself miserable eating foods you hate and count and weigh every single miserable calorie but eat over your allotted calories every day, you will still gain weight, because your scale doesn't care how miserable you are, it works according to the laws of physics.
It seems to me there's a connection here. Eating is meant to be joyful. We evolved to enjoy eating because it's necessary to stay alive, so eating is a very rewarding behavior. Your body craves that pleasure, but instead you are making yourself unhappy, so your body continues to crave rewards, so you eat more! Stop it! What is your very very favorite food? Go get that and eat some of it. Log it. Eat exactly what makes you happiest for a whole week. Write it down. Then look at it and see how you can eat the number of calories needed to maintain while still enjoying as many of those foods as possible. Don't worry about a deficit right now, until you get your heart and mind happy again. You have all the time you need.3 -
HakunaMatata137 wrote: »I always think of people with ED’s as eating 700 cals/day and being stick thin. I do neither of those things but I wish I could.
It’s almost like if I do have an ED, I can’t even do that right! I have all the mental struggles of someone with an ED, without actually being able to implement the practices.
EDs can manifest in different ways. The best thing to do would be to talk to your Doctor/therapist and/or support groups. I think it's important to know that you're not alone and there are solutions available.1 -
HakunaMatata137 wrote: »The line between healthy weight loss/ calorie counting, and an “eating disoeder” is something I’ve always struggled with.
How do you know that what you’re doing is healthy, mindful eating versus an unhealthy obsession with calories and/or excercise?
I’m a firm believer that counting calories can lead into a eating disorder. I got myself out of that obsessive hell hole. All you think about is numbers, it’s just too mind consuming. Everything i eat, i have to log it in? No thanks.it’s not a healthy mindset for me. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it for short term but long life long doesn’t seem practical. I rather learn, and train myself on how to eat moderately with a bit of exercise. Im losing weight just by doing that.
That's great that you found what works for you, but theres no reason to refer to others way of eating as an "obsessive hell hole." If training yourself to eat the appropriate amount of food to meet goals was feasible for everyone this platform wouldn't even exist. For many its just a part of life. It becomes routine like teeth brushing or daily chores, only I probably spend less time in a day logging than doing any of those things.
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HakunaMatata137 wrote: »Thank you to everyone for your insightful and inspiring responses. You all put things into a new perspective for me.
The issue I’m running into is this. I’ve ALWAYS hated my body. Even when I weighed 120 lbs at 5’3” (a healthy weight for me). But now I’m 175 lbs. I do have to lose weight. I’m considered overweight.
But I can’t seem to lose weight unless I obsess over calories. I measure every. Single. Thing. Grams of carrots. Tablespoons of almond milk in my coffee. I get the most low calorie foods (fat free reddi whip, calorie free coffee syrup, low calorie fake butter, etc) even if it’s not what I want. I get tons of anxiety at restaurants, parties, etc. I bring my food scale to restaurants and vacation. My day revolves around “how many calories do I have left”.
BUT, at the same time, isn’t that what you’re supposed to do when you’re on a weight loss journey? They always say “it’s not supposed to be easy.” Right?? I get so many mixed messages.
I don’t under eat though. More often than not I eat OVER my caloric limit at the end of the day, despite being obsessed with them throughout the day, counting every single thing. Then the next morning, I hate myself for it, I view myself as “huge”. Then the exact cycle repeats. Every single day.
I don’t understand
No, it’s not. You’re supposed to make long term, sustainable life changes. Not become obsessed and stressed.
I’ve never taken my food scale out of my house. I weigh 95% of things but there are somethings I don’t. I almost never buy/eat anything marketed as low-calorie and don’t buy low fat dairy products.
This post is really concerning and I would urge you to seek help ASAP. You don’t need have to hate your body and losing weight does not have to be a miserable experience.1 -
HakunaMatata137 wrote: »The line between healthy weight loss/ calorie counting, and an “eating disoeder” is something I’ve always struggled with.
How do you know that what you’re doing is healthy, mindful eating versus an unhealthy obsession with calories and/or excercise?
I’m a firm believer that counting calories can lead into a eating disorder. I got myself out of that obsessive hell hole. All you think about is numbers, it’s just too mind consuming. Everything i eat, i have to log it in? No thanks.it’s not a healthy mindset for me. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it for short term but long life long doesn’t seem practical. I rather learn, and train myself on how to eat moderately with a bit of exercise. Im losing weight just by doing that.
If that is your experience I am glad you found something that works for you. I find that logging relaxes me. Unless something significant changes I never have to think about weight loss because I know that if I am in a deficit it is happening. If the scale goes up or if it hovers for a long period of time I may not love it but I know the next drop is definitely coming.
I would go crazy with your system because I would always have to weight for the scale to drop to know for sure I was in a deficit. Considering that I often have to wait for 3 weeks for results that would keep me on edge. My relationship with the bathroom scale would have never improved and I probably would have quit a long time ago.6 -
The bottom line, as I read through your posts, OP, is that you are suffering a lot, and carrying a lot on your own. I think that the suggestion to let a professional help carry this is a really good idea, not only for the sharing of the burden but for helping you find a path through the obsession and anxiety and pain to a healthy you.1
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HakunaMatata137 wrote: »I don’t even allow myself to wear nice clothes or makeup or paint my nails (for examples) if I go over my calorie limit bc I feel there’s no point in even trying to look nice.
Sorry for all these posts lol. I’m just realizing a lot as I type
You don't need to lose weight right now. Right now the most important thing for you to do is learn to really love yourself. Have you ever done amy programs or exercises ti this end?
You are precious and perfect and you deserve to paint your nails every day.3
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