Counting calories vs. eating disorder

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  • vanityy99
    vanityy99 Posts: 2,583 Member
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    I don’t even allow myself to wear nice clothes or makeup or paint my nails (for examples) if I go over my calorie limit bc I feel there’s no point in even trying to look nice.

    Sorry for all these posts lol. I’m just realizing a lot as I type

    Life is too short!
  • merekins
    merekins Posts: 228 Member
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    Am not a dr, but if my daughter was engaging in the behavior you are mentioning, I would be very concerned she had an ed. You are having emotional breakdowns and panic attacks, are punishing yourself by saying you don’t deserve to wear clothes or makeup you like, your day revolves around food choices, and your calorie intake defines your mood and how you feel about yourself. It’s time to reach out for professional help. Many hugs to you but this doesn’t sound like it’s the best fit for you at this time and they can help you find other options.
  • rheddmobile
    rheddmobile Posts: 6,840 Member
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    Disclaimer: not a professional, and I do think you should talk to a professional. Let the pros decide whether you do or don't have an eating disorder.

    Okay! Now I'm going to address some of the things you say. You say you can't seem to lose weight unless you obsess over calorie counting and eat things you hate. But you are doing this now and it isn't working! You aren't losing weight while behaving like this. If you are going to do things that don't work anyway, why not do things that make you happy instead?

    The thing is, weight gain is not a punishment for bad behavior and weight loss is not a reward for suffering. Weight gain or loss is about taking in fewer calories than you expend. Those calories can be your favorite foods at a big old party with your favorite people, and if you take in fewer than you expend, you will lose weight. I promise! And if you make yourself miserable eating foods you hate and count and weigh every single miserable calorie but eat over your allotted calories every day, you will still gain weight, because your scale doesn't care how miserable you are, it works according to the laws of physics.

    It seems to me there's a connection here. Eating is meant to be joyful. We evolved to enjoy eating because it's necessary to stay alive, so eating is a very rewarding behavior. Your body craves that pleasure, but instead you are making yourself unhappy, so your body continues to crave rewards, so you eat more! Stop it! What is your very very favorite food? Go get that and eat some of it. Log it. Eat exactly what makes you happiest for a whole week. Write it down. Then look at it and see how you can eat the number of calories needed to maintain while still enjoying as many of those foods as possible. Don't worry about a deficit right now, until you get your heart and mind happy again. You have all the time you need.
  • moe0303
    moe0303 Posts: 934 Member
    edited February 2019
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    I always think of people with ED’s as eating 700 cals/day and being stick thin. I do neither of those things but I wish I could.
    It’s almost like if I do have an ED, I can’t even do that right! I have all the mental struggles of someone with an ED, without actually being able to implement the practices.

    EDs can manifest in different ways. The best thing to do would be to talk to your Doctor/therapist and/or support groups. I think it's important to know that you're not alone and there are solutions available.
  • Running2Fit
    Running2Fit Posts: 702 Member
    edited February 2019
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    Thank you to everyone for your insightful and inspiring responses. You all put things into a new perspective for me.
    The issue I’m running into is this. I’ve ALWAYS hated my body. Even when I weighed 120 lbs at 5’3” (a healthy weight for me). But now I’m 175 lbs. I do have to lose weight. I’m considered overweight.
    But I can’t seem to lose weight unless I obsess over calories. I measure every. Single. Thing. Grams of carrots. Tablespoons of almond milk in my coffee. I get the most low calorie foods (fat free reddi whip, calorie free coffee syrup, low calorie fake butter, etc) even if it’s not what I want. I get tons of anxiety at restaurants, parties, etc. I bring my food scale to restaurants and vacation. My day revolves around “how many calories do I have left”.
    BUT, at the same time, isn’t that what you’re supposed to do when you’re on a weight loss journey? They always say “it’s not supposed to be easy.” Right?? I get so many mixed messages.
    I don’t under eat though. More often than not I eat OVER my caloric limit at the end of the day, despite being obsessed with them throughout the day, counting every single thing. Then the next morning, I hate myself for it, I view myself as “huge”. Then the exact cycle repeats. Every single day.
    I don’t understand

    No, it’s not. You’re supposed to make long term, sustainable life changes. Not become obsessed and stressed.

    I’ve never taken my food scale out of my house. I weigh 95% of things but there are somethings I don’t. I almost never buy/eat anything marketed as low-calorie and don’t buy low fat dairy products.

    This post is really concerning and I would urge you to seek help ASAP. You don’t need have to hate your body and losing weight does not have to be a miserable experience.
  • Maxxitt
    Maxxitt Posts: 1,281 Member
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    The bottom line, as I read through your posts, OP, is that you are suffering a lot, and carrying a lot on your own. I think that the suggestion to let a professional help carry this is a really good idea, not only for the sharing of the burden but for helping you find a path through the obsession and anxiety and pain to a healthy you.
  • leiflung
    leiflung Posts: 83 Member
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    I don’t even allow myself to wear nice clothes or makeup or paint my nails (for examples) if I go over my calorie limit bc I feel there’s no point in even trying to look nice.

    Sorry for all these posts lol. I’m just realizing a lot as I type

    You don't need to lose weight right now. Right now the most important thing for you to do is learn to really love yourself. Have you ever done amy programs or exercises ti this end?

    You are precious and perfect and you deserve to paint your nails every day.
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 24,843 Member
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    How do you know that what you’re doing is healthy, mindful eating versus an unhealthy obsession with calories and/or excercise?

    Because my main focus isn't food or exercise for exercise's sake.

    My focus is on things like my work, my university degree, my husband's health situation, exercise goals, etc.

  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 24,843 Member
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    My day revolves around “how many calories do I have left”.
    BUT, at the same time, isn’t that what you’re supposed to do when you’re on a weight loss journey? They always say “it’s not supposed to be easy.” Right?? I get so many mixed messages.

    No!!

    When I lost weight, I knew what to eat each day so that I was under my limit. Then I could set "eating" on a backburner and focus on life.

  • ajwcyclist2016
    ajwcyclist2016 Posts: 161 Member
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    An eating disorder is when the disorder is in control of you not you in control of the eating or what ever the disorder is. I'm by no means an expert on the matter. Personally I think you should at least have a consultation with an expert and also stop counting calories and relax about food. Try to view food as something to enjoy but not to be abused. Try to get into a regular meal plan through out the day where counting and worrying about calories is totally not nessary
  • Mslmesq
    Mslmesq Posts: 1,001 Member
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    Op, I’m sorry you are dealing with this. You deserve better.

    I do think it’s become unhealthy for you if you carry food scales to restaurants. Maybe weight watchers point system would work better for you?

    Good luck and hugs.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,182 Member
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    It's less an eating disorder than a marketing disorder. You've believed the advertising which promises that low-cal substitutes for real food are going to solve all your weight problems. Have they?
  • gogetemrogue
    gogetemrogue Posts: 80 Member
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    Any dietary restriction comes with the risk of an ED. ""Clean"" diets put you at risk for orthorexia, while CICO puts you at risk for anorexia and binge eating disorder. You and your healthcare team should always weigh the risks with the benefits of weightloss. That said, a lot of those who have problems exacerbated by calorie counting already have some sort of unhealthy relationship with food.
  • kami3006
    kami3006 Posts: 4,978 Member
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    Any dietary restriction comes with the risk of an ED. ""Clean"" diets put you at risk for orthorexia, while CICO puts you at risk for anorexia and binge eating disorder. You and your healthcare team should always weigh the risks with the benefits of weightloss. That said, a lot of those who have problems exacerbated by calorie counting already have some sort of unhealthy relationship with food.

    Just to be clear, CICO is just an energy equation. It is not synonymous with calorie counting.
  • snickerscharlie
    snickerscharlie Posts: 8,578 Member
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    Any dietary restriction comes with the risk of an ED. ""Clean"" diets put you at risk for orthorexia, while CICO puts you at risk for anorexia and binge eating disorder. You and your healthcare team should always weigh the risks with the benefits of weightloss. That said, a lot of those who have problems exacerbated by calorie counting already have some sort of unhealthy relationship with food.

    I don't think the risks are inherent in the methods themselves. I think the risks of eating disorders are probably more personality/individual based and would likely manifest in one way or an other that might not even necessarily revolve around eating/body issues.

    Methods of restriction are just tools. You can use them in either a well-adjusted or an ill adjusted manner just as someone can use a hammer to build a playhouse or smash in a car window in an act of vandalism. The problem isn't the hammer. It's the issues underlying the motivation in the person using it.

    QFT. <3