Struggling

bayhans
bayhans Posts: 25 Member
in Motivation and Support
I am really struggling here! I used MFP a number of years ago to lose 30lbs, and I was able to keep it off for about four years. But I’ve gained about 15lbs back in the last year, and I really want to lose it again. But apparently not enough to get back to my healthy lifestyle. I used to eat really well and exercise regularly, but since meeting my boyfriend and now being married to him, it’s become so much harder. It is partially his influence in that he drinks beer more often than I ever did, and now I tend to want to join him (and he brews delicious beer, so we ALWAYS have it in the house), but it’s also just me being lazier and less motivated. And I can’t figure out how to get myself back into my healthy habits. My husband is very supportive, so his influence is more just that I want to join him in things, not like he’s encouraging or pressuring me. He’s currently training for a half marathon, and I can’t get myself out the door to join him for a shorter run. I tell myself I want to lose the weight so badly, but my actions scream the opposite. For some reason, in the moment of making decision like fries or a side salad, my mind says “get the salad!!” But then somewhere inside I tell myself it’s fine, I’ll get back on track eventually, I did it once so I can do it again, and before I know it I’m saying “fries, please!” I know that no one can change my habits for me, it’s all on me. I just don’t know how to beat out the gluttony and laziness this time and get my healthy mojo back!!

I’m not really looking for an answer here, just venting and hoping maybe someone out there can relate. :)

Replies

  • bayhans
    bayhans Posts: 25 Member
    Typo! I previously lost 20lbs, not 30.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,741 Member
    "I tell myself it’s fine, I’ll get back on track eventually, I did it once so I can do it again," - I can relate to this! A lot of us get in ruts from time to time. I'm kind of there right now. I love my long walks outside and I love my gym, but my attitude toward both right now is just "meh".

    I know myself well enough to know that it will pass so I keep up my routine out of habit because that's important but if I only walk 4 miles instead of 8 or do a 45 min. workout instead of 90 min. then so be it. It's better than nothing and WHEN I want to get back to a higher activity level I will but apparently I don't want it right now.
  • wmsmcfadden
    wmsmcfadden Posts: 6 Member
    I can definitely relate. That double mind of both wanting to make better choices but also wanting to relax and eat what I want! I’d mention asking your husband to encourage you more actively but it sounds like he already is to some extent. Anyway you have my sympathy!
  • puffbrat
    puffbrat Posts: 2,806 Member
    Been there. Start by just logging your food. Don't focus on what you are eating or changing habits, but just building the habit of logging. The rest will come from there.
  • bayhans
    bayhans Posts: 25 Member
    puffbrat wrote: »
    Been there. Start by just logging your food. Don't focus on what you are eating or changing habits, but just building the habit of logging. The rest will come from there.

    This is great advice, thank you! Baby steps to building the habits again.

    I really appreciate all of your responses!!
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,534 Member
    I think the I did it before I can do it again thought is unhelpful. I’ve been maintaining a long time. Mostly because I have no confidence at all that I could lose any significant amount again.

    You keep a food diary? Start one. Maybe writing down the number for those fries will get your attention. You don’t need running, or mojo or motivation, you need a bit of will to start and mostly persistence. Determination when times are tough.

    Over a span of a couple years 100 extra calories per day would put on what you’ve gained. But 100 calorie deficit will take it off. You need to know where your calories are coming from and figure out which calories you’re willing to do without.

    Start a food diary, crunch some numbers and make a plan. It’s just learning to live with a few limits. Motivation is unreliable.
    Waiting for it to appear out of nowhere will set you up to write this same post again when you’re up 25 lbs. Don’t wait.
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,324 Member
    I feel you.. my husband and I love having cocktails at home or out.. which leads to eating out... We love dining out and food has become our hobby. we have so much fun together. The cliche is "fat and happy." for a reason. lol.

    What I do now.. is save it for one or two weekend nights..depending if I'm at goal. Two if I'm maintaining..but I do one night out even when I'm losing.. and it keeps me sane.

    You'll figure something out. good luck.
  • wearefab
    wearefab Posts: 69 Member
    For the marathin training, you just need to get out the door. Dont run, walk for 20 minutes or 30 then go home again. Dont bargain with yourself, just put your sneakers on and go. See how you feel when you get back! I sometimes lsiten to podcasts or music when I walk, and sometimes I sing myself!!
    One other thing...are you very tired? The thinking mind may be saying'lazy, demotivated' but thats just thoughts. What is actually happening? Are you burned out? If not, the n poor choices cause a lot of negative mental chatter for you, which is like an energy drain with no plug. So just get out the door next time he does, and every time after that. And make one change with food or water or sleep or friends. Just one. Fo r a week, then add another. Start to feel better. It could jut be your anxious thoughts about this topic that are tiring you!
    I dont believe you to be that person who doesnt get out the door for a walk, do you?
    I dont believe you to be that person who is all talk but no follow through, do you?
    I dont think you are that person, Let you come out to play, have fun, walk, dance, and whatever else that feels good :)

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