How to get in the right mindset for weight loss?
Replies
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eriellegonzalez01 wrote: »Alright, so I've been struggling with weight loss since middle school, and as of right now, I'm a junior in University.
I am at the highest weight I've ever been right now, and I really want to lose weight so I've started thinking about all my past attempts at weight loss, and I've come to the conclusion that it's not just about eating healthy and exercising — you have to be positive and a non-toxic mind in order to really go though with weight loss successfully.
And that's my problem.
I absolutely hate myself.
So much, that I haven't looked in the mirror in so long. I feel like I was bullied into submission in middle school. Before, middle school, I was fine. I never had a negative thought, but after 3 years of torment, I just... learned to hate myself and started agreeing with what everyone said. Whenever someone calls me 'beautiful' or 'pretty', I freak out and accuse them of lying or saying that to be polite or to make me feel better.
Anyway, I want to get better, but I have no idea how. I've become a binge eater because of my past (and family issues too) and I heard Yoga helps with the mind, so I'm starting to do that and I hope it helps, but it kinda sounds too good to be true...
Don't hate yourself. That's a Pandora's Box you don't want to open up. The sooner you learn this lesson, the better you'll be... other peoples' opinion of you is their business, not yours. Don't base your self-esteem on whether or not you get external validation. What matters is how you feel about yourself. Your issue is that you need to recover some of that lost self-esteem. Losing weight will do that for you, but so will many other things. Improve yourself. Set little daily goals and meet them. Find hobbies that you enjoy. Do well in your studies. Fill up your life with activities that help you grow as a person and do well at them and your self-confidence and self-esteem will return. Every day that you go to sleep closer to your goals is a good day and one to be proud of.
It might help to know that lots of people know exactly how you feel. Either they've been there themselves, or are there now. A lot of people who have their lives together now, once felt like you do about themselves.
Also, find some positive people to spend time with. Don't dwell on negative thoughts and don't spend your time around people stuck on negative thinking.2 -
Download "Insight Timer" on your phone and meditate. There are guided meditations for losing weight.3
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I have a history of disordered eating and have to be very, very careful to take care of myself properly when losing weight.
I managed to do so safely after having my son, but then we moved overseas and over the next few years of learning the ropes in a new place (with totally different market & cooking styles) I reached my highest weight ever.
My spouse wanted to attempt weightloss ~6mo ago but I wasn’t in the right place yet mentally and I knew it. Thankfully he knows my past and respects my judgement on that sort of thing. By January I was in a better place, so we began together and it’s been going really well.
Struggling with self-image, depression, and / or anxiety can definitely add a different element to the weight loss journey, but it also gives it the wonderful opportunity of being an all-around wellness journey. I wish you the best with yours!6 -
It's taken me until 27 to reach the right mindset, and high 320s in weight.
Getting my mental health better is what's made it possible for me. The unhelpful truth is, I decided one day I was going to do it, made a plan, am sticking with it. I'm not sure what exactly triggered that, but it's a first for me. I want to do it for me, for my health, ability to live a longer and healthier life, primarily. Everything else is secondary.
A doctor advised me a while ago to just try to keep my weight steady until I was ready to lose, that was great advice for me, and I think it's a helpful strategy. Use the website and set to maintainance maybe, but don't keep trying to eat under it, just try to keep your weekly average around it (so the odd day over is countered by the odd day under).
I know getting mental health help isn't always easy, but it's worth doing.3 -
eriellegonzalez01 wrote: »Alright, so I've been struggling with weight loss since middle school, and as of right now, I'm a junior in University.
I am at the highest weight I've ever been right now, and I really want to lose weight so I've started thinking about all my past attempts at weight loss, and I've come to the conclusion that it's not just about eating healthy and exercising — you have to be positive and a non-toxic mind in order to really go though with weight loss successfully.
And that's my problem.
I absolutely hate myself.
So much, that I haven't looked in the mirror in so long. I feel like I was bullied into submission in middle school. Before, middle school, I was fine. I never had a negative thought, but after 3 years of torment, I just... learned to hate myself and started agreeing with what everyone said. Whenever someone calls me 'beautiful' or 'pretty', I freak out and accuse them of lying or saying that to be polite or to make me feel better.
Anyway, I want to get better, but I have no idea how. I've become a binge eater because of my past (and family issues too) and I heard Yoga helps with the mind, so I'm starting to do that and I hope it helps, but it kinda sounds too good to be true...
Two things:- Those calling you beautiful or pretty, might not be lying. Fat does not necessarily mean ugly, so appreciate the compliments.
- Sometimes it takes a medical emergency for a person to change their lifestyle. Mine was a prediabetic diagnosis. For you, obesity can lead to other medical issues, so your mindset could be wanting to stay healthy. Reducing your weight would be a proactive way of avoiding certain types of health problems.
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Apply the same principles to the rest of your life that you learned in your studies. All in this world is but an output of behavior.
You don't really hate yourself. I suspect you realize your potential and upset at not fulfilling this, but hate? Too strong a word.
We don't invest in things we hate, we invest our valuable time and energy on what we love. Any act of self improvement is an inherent act of love.2 -
Maybe try to make a big change in your life, that is not weight related. Something you always wanted to do.
For me it was moving out of my parents place and living on my own. Even though I love my family, and never had issues, I felt I needed to do that for my self, and it did miracles on myself esteem and overall feeling. Your's can be something else, but something you always felt like doing and always thought either "later" or "it is not for me".2 -
eriellegonzalez01 wrote: »@Running2Fit
Yeah, I figured.
I wish I wasn't this way, you know?
But, I'm going to try Yoga and just see where that takes me...
Though, I tried going to a yoga class on my own once a week ago, and I couldn't even make it inside without panicking and running off. I have such a low self-esteem. I saw mirrors and thin people and just scrammed.
I had a friend come with me after that, but I wonder if I'm going to be dependent on her forever...
Sure, I found yoga tremendously helpful, and eventually became a certified yoga teacher.
Where are you taking the classes? I, and many other yoga teachers, tailor the languaging to the location, so Gym Yoga is going to be a different experience from Yoga Studio Yoga, although the postures may be the same.
In general, Yoga Studio Yoga would be more helpful for people in your situation.
I first started taking yoga at a small liberal arts college, and that was a fabulous experience. There were two different teachers during my 4 years there, and they were both great in very different ways.
During that time, I also learned some Cognitive Behavioral Therapy tips from a handful of Smart Recovery and Rational Recovery meetings I attended to deal with my abuse of alcohol, and those tips translate to self-medicating with food as well.
Oh, I don't like the mirrors either. It was nice when I started teaching, and then my back was to the mirrors
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@kshama2001
I'm taking them at my University's recreational center. They have sessions everyday in different levels. I'm doing "Intro to Yoga" and "Mindful Yoga". I don't know what the difference between those two are, but they're pretty great.
I've been able to sleep better because of them.2 -
@OneRatGirl
Two years ago, I had an experience like the one you had. The whole "Okay, I'm going to stop my unhealthy habits and just do something" thing. And I did it for about four months, lost almost 50 lbs... but then my cousin, who was helping me, moved to another state, school was starting up again, I had hit a plateau and all that progress just — POOF! Gone.
I gained all that weight back and more, and it's just really annoying since I always think back to that moment of time and think "if I had kept going, I would be where I wanted to be by now". That makes me despise myself even more.
I, honestly, don't know how much more I can take of this before completely giving up. I know I don't want to! Just seems like no matter what I try just ends in complete utter failure.1 -
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@InsertFunnyUsernameHere
Yes, that sounds like a plan, and that's kinda what I've been trying to do recently. I'm taking 5 classes this semester, I'm doing yoga almost everyday and I'm wanting to join a club at my University (not sure which one yet).
I've also met a classmate who is, somewhat, going through the same things as I. It's kinda heartwarming talking to her because we understand each other and we've been through similar things. She's very optimistic about everything, so I hope I'll become like that too.
Thank You for the advice!1 -
@nowine4me @emmamcgarity
I'll look into those podcasts. I've never listened to any, and I don't know if my attention span can handle that, but I'll try.2 -
@Anita4548
Thank You for telling me this. It makes me feel better knowing I'm not alone. ❤️2 -
@saraonly9913
I'll look into it.2 -
Hey @eriellegonzalez01 - Good morning! Nothing new to add, just wanted to say it's great seeing you responding and taking suggestions. Like I said, you got this
Hope you have a great day!2 -
eriellegonzalez01 wrote: »@kshama2001
I'm taking them at my University's recreational center. They have sessions everyday in different levels. I'm doing "Intro to Yoga" and "Mindful Yoga". I don't know what the difference between those two are, but they're pretty great.
I've been able to sleep better because of them.
Sounds like great classes! Glad you went back 1 -
eriellegonzalez01 wrote: »@apullum
Perhaps. I currently live in a small college town, so I don't think I'll find anything here, but Austin is 30 mins away from where I am. Maybe, I'll go somewhere there.
Given the need for therapy more broadly, it would be surprising to me if there weren't therapists in your college town that weren't attached to your university. Psychology Today's therapy search and Goodtherapy.org's therapist search are both good options for finding therapists.
That said, when I lived in a small town in NY, I definitely went into NYC for therapy. It was a 45ish min train ride there and back, but it was worth it.2 -
I am gonna say 2 things as a mom...
You are worthy
It's your ball game...now PLAY!2 -
@Phirrgus
Thank You!
Yes, everyone's responses have been so nice to read. I've started looking things up and I downloaded an meditation app someone suggested last night, and it was great! I'm going to try and use that as much as possible.1 -
@kshama2001
I'm glad I went back too. ❤️1 -
@aokoye
There are therapists at my University, but they aren't really good with scheduling. I've tried making appointments there many times, but I've always got emails saying my appointment needed to be postponed till weeks or months later, so I stopped trying.
I'll probably end up taking the bus/train to Austin and go talk to someone over there.1 -
@dsboohead
Thank You for your support! ❤️1 -
eriellegonzalez01 wrote: »@aokoye
There are therapists at my University, but they aren't really good with scheduling. I've tried making appointments there many times, but I've always got emails saying my appointment needed to be postponed till weeks or months later, so I stopped trying.
I'll probably end up taking the bus/train to Austin and go talk to someone over there.
Yeah, I was suggesting looking outside of your campus. For a lot of reasons, scheduling included, I've never really tried to get therapy on a college campus.1
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