How do you handle the "One Upper"?

SarahofTwins
SarahofTwins Posts: 1,169 Member
edited October 1 in Chit-Chat
I don't care to have something better or feel that I have to one up anyone. I understand others might do it because they might feel insecure or something's really going on in their lives...honestly I really don't know. I just don't know how to deal with them, trust me I don't want to but when you marry into family, they become your family no matter. I've ignored it for the most part however lately when they've lied it just bothers me to see.

Do you know anyone like this or experienced this? If so how did you handle it.

Replies

  • Schwiggity
    Schwiggity Posts: 1,449 Member
    I care even less about having something better!
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
    Whenever they one-up, just say something like "Very good!", like the way you might say it to a puppy or when a baby eats a bite of food.
  • TDGee
    TDGee Posts: 2,209 Member
    I use the ugly baby line. Smile and say, "How precious!" It's sorta like the Southern "Bless your heart"
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
    I'm not sure, but I've got a better story than yours about this! :wink:
  • malvakai
    malvakai Posts: 32
    I say "Good on ya" but not in a sarcastic way. Honestly, if they need that one moment of validation does it really hurt you in any way to give it? Some people just dont know how to interact with other people well and that one-upsmanship is their best conversation. I feel better about myself when I see that kind of desperation and give a kind word. Most people listening will catch on right away to what just happened, and will feel better about you too.
  • SarahofTwins
    SarahofTwins Posts: 1,169 Member
    I'm not sure, but I've got a better story than yours about this! :wink:

    Do tell :drinker:
  • portexploit
    portexploit Posts: 378 Member
    Hmm, depends on what they're trying to one up you at... is it weight loss?? I have a friend who always does that to me, he sits there trying to lecture me "look at my triceps bro, i know you love them, I eat subway everyday blah blah blah" I know when i am done i am going to look better than him, no doubt in my mind.

    Not sure if know but i am a computer science major and if someone tries to up me on that.. It has never really happened.I do understand that some people are just better at me in some things, if they're right, they're right.
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
    I'm not sure, but I've got a better story than yours about this! :wink:

    Do tell :drinker:

    lol sorry, I'm just being a smart *kitten*. :blushing:
  • SarahofTwins
    SarahofTwins Posts: 1,169 Member
    Hmm, depends on what they're trying to one up you at... is it weight loss?? I have a friend who always does that to me, he sits there trying to lecture me "look at my triceps bro, i know you love them, I eat subway everyday blah blah blah" I know when i am done i am going to look better than him, no doubt in my mind.

    Not sure if know but i am a computer science major and if someone tries to up me on that.. It has never really happened.I do understand that some people are just better at me in some things, if they're right, they're right.

    It's everything but more so with fitness and weight loss. She keeps telling me and everyone what we should eat and the type of exercises to do, etc. Lies about things I don't see why really. It's that one upper mentality with lies that bothers me. I have both good and bad days, people ask me what I eat I tell them I eat a burger or even pizza sometimes. Ah well I guess I'll have to keep on ignoring.
  • SarahofTwins
    SarahofTwins Posts: 1,169 Member
    I'm not sure, but I've got a better story than yours about this! :wink:

    Do tell :drinker:

    lol sorry, I'm just being a smart *kitten*. :blushing:

    Ah okay, I didn't see the fine lines in that one. :laugh: Derrr:sad:
  • Scarletblue
    Scarletblue Posts: 255
    I have a few of these people in my life

    I have a cold they have pnemonia

    I lost a lb in a week she lost 5lbs

    I stubbed my toe she smashed her foot

    I divorced an *kitten* she divorced a bigger *kitten*

    At the lake I seen a five lb trout , at the ocean she caught a six foot great white with her bare hands

    I baked a cake from a box she baked a cake from scratch using the original recipe from the very first cake ever made created by her great great great aunt


    It doesn't matter what it is good or bad hers is always worse or better then mine. I know shes lying but she does it with such enthusiam that I often enjoy hearing what she will come up with next.
  • 1_up
    1_up Posts: 1,414 Member
    I'm sorry... It's in my nature :(
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
    I'm sorry... It's in my nature :(

    took me a bit, but i finally got it. good one! :laugh:
  • IronSmasher
    IronSmasher Posts: 3,908 Member
    I've only ever been in circles of friends or associates that are intelligent, so people like that have fortunately been rare. Everyone knows they're idiots and call them on everything they boast about until they learn to either stop or have everybody hate them and ridicule them.
  • anubis609
    anubis609 Posts: 3,966 Member
    I'm sorry... It's in my nature :(

    Well played. Lol.
  • robin52077
    robin52077 Posts: 4,383 Member
    I'm sorry... It's in my nature :(

    LMAO!
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Seriously though, people like that are jerks. Do your best to ignore and don't let their righteousness undermine your achievements and make you feel like you've accomplished less than you have. Cuz you rock.:glasses:
  • Diamonds_R4_Ever
    Diamonds_R4_Ever Posts: 42
    You have made a great accomplishment, she sounds insecure. Don't give her any power, or feed into what she says. Give her that "you and I both know that you are lieing look" and then instantly stop paying to her conversation: get up for a moment and leave the table/room, make a quick call, change the subject, etc. Shut down how she impacts you. She'll see the pattern, and hopefully change her ways..... unless she likes talking to herself ;)


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  • camberwellgreen
    camberwellgreen Posts: 15
    I have a few of these people in my life

    I have a cold they have pnemonia

    I lost a lb in a week she lost 5lbs

    I stubbed my toe she smashed her foot

    I divorced an *kitten* she divorced a bigger *kitten*

    At the lake I seen a five lb trout , at the ocean she caught a six foot great white with her bare hands

    I baked a cake from a box she baked a cake from scratch using the original recipe from the very first cake ever made created by her great great great aunt


    It doesn't matter what it is good or bad hers is always worse or better then mine. I know shes lying but she does it with such enthusiam that I often enjoy hearing what she will come up with next.

    That post made me laugh out loud!
  • MovesLikePuma
    MovesLikePuma Posts: 122
    I think you should not worry about them. You should just be secure in knowing your accomplishments and who cares what they say? You can see how well you have done. Can you see this much of a change in them?

    If so, nUns you should just congratulate then on how well they have done as well and then ignore the h*ll out of them...
  • ohwhataday
    ohwhataday Posts: 1,398 Member
    Hmm, depends on what they're trying to one up you at... is it weight loss?? I have a friend who always does that to me, he sits there trying to lecture me "look at my triceps bro, i know you love them, I eat subway everyday blah blah blah" I know when i am done i am going to look better than him, no doubt in my mind.

    Not sure if know but i am a computer science major and if someone tries to up me on that.. It has never really happened.I do understand that some people are just better at me in some things, if they're right, they're right.

    hahaha. I laughed really hard at that. And also, I had a roommate that was a computer science major and worked for the school and he was a total douche. So hopefully you aren't one too.
  • ziggy67
    ziggy67 Posts: 351
    I get this quite a lot...depending on the subject matter and relevance I usually respond with

    "Wow!" thats awesome!....

    or

    "We all have our cross to bear!"

    Shuts em up everytime!
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