Gym Phobia - Help!

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kishmo16
kishmo16 Posts: 20 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
Good afternoon everyone - Newbie here!

I have struggled with the person I see since before I can remember. Not only is that image not improving, but it's getting worse and more difficult to stay motivated..

The real issue here is being able to work towards my goal/see results by getting over my fear of going to the gym. I have contemplated multiple memberships and even can use the student rec center here for free... but I cannot seem to overcome my constant worrying of how others are perceiving me. I hear it all the time, "No one is even looking at you, they're busy worrying about themselves." But still I feel like in a place like that I stand out as if I have a megaphone in my hand screaming "HI I'M NEW AND DON'T BELONG HERE ANYWAYS!"

I have tried different programs that can be used at home, away from those "prying eyes," but I never stick with it and don't have anyone to hold me accountable.

Has anyone gone through this? What worked for you?

Thanks in advance! :)
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Replies

  • kishmo16
    kishmo16 Posts: 20 Member
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    I appreciate your response!

    I know if I just do it - I'll pick it up quickly, but at this point I'm so nervous about it, especially since I don't know how to use anything. Would you recommend something smaller, or a more mainstream gym that'll help me be comfortable/have someone to assist with learning the equipment?
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,442 Member
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    kayleemo16 wrote: »
    I appreciate your response!

    I know if I just do it - I'll pick it up quickly, but at this point I'm so nervous about it, especially since I don't know how to use anything. Would you recommend something smaller, or a more mainstream gym that'll help me be comfortable/have someone to assist with learning the equipment?

    Whichever you're more comfortable with, I guess.

    I started at an Anytime Fitness, and the story I posted about was when I quit Anytime Fitness and moved to a powerlifting/bodybuilding focused gym.
  • kishmo16
    kishmo16 Posts: 20 Member
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    No offense taken! I'm actually a mental health student and do receive services as well. Just a touch of social anxiety, but nothing I can't push myself through. This however takes the cake and is the one aspect I need to keep working at so I can be comfortable in settings like this.

    I'm a very social person - just not at first with new things.

    Thanks for your response!
  • diets_and_daiquiris
    diets_and_daiquiris Posts: 143 Member
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    I had such bad gym anxiety when I started I had a fully fledged panic attack in the car park.

    Ask them for help. I spoke to someone in there and she helped me with someone one on one sessions to get me past it. I felt so much better knowing how to use everything. Also they helped me come up with a plan so I knew what I would be doing each day.
    I'm fine there now but it was invaluable to me to start with.

    Good luck with it all x
  • kishmo16
    kishmo16 Posts: 20 Member
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    Thank you so much. I'm glad that worked so well for you and am hoping it goes the same for me!
  • Larissa_NY
    Larissa_NY Posts: 495 Member
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    You can get all the advice in the world, but the bottom line is that if you want to go to the gym, at some point you're going to have to put your big girl pants on and just go. It doesn't take that long to figure out how to use a treadmill or an exercise bike, and if you want a trainer to show you the ropes, most gyms will provide it. You don't have to do anything complicated or or be there for three hours; just go, do fifteen minutes on the treadmill, and leave. Repeat until you get comfortable.

    If you can't bring yourself to just go in and get it over with, you'll need to accept that maybe the gym is not for you, and try something else like walking.
  • noegrand123
    noegrand123 Posts: 166 Member
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    Hi. I felt the same as you! Our gym offered several personal trainers that I could choose from- all completely flexible with amount of sessions I wanted. I actually chose with out knowing, a football strength and conditioning coach (I’m a stay at home mom) and we were a great fit! He showed me how to lift, I counseled him on relationships, job opportunities, what dog to buy! Lol! But needless to say, it took all of the doubt and embarrassment out of me going to the gym. Maybe you could hire one for just a few sessions, to get you started! You can do it!!!
  • MikePTY
    MikePTY Posts: 3,814 Member
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    I think most of the time at the gym, if you are training in an individual environment, most people just mind their own business. Outside of a cursory glance at you, they are much more worried about what they are doing than what you are doing.

    I train in a group class environment (martial arts), and everyone is super supportive and helpful of all the new people. We train all one level, so it is everyone from the experienced students to the newbies. Old, young, fat, skinny, in shape, out of shape. We even have one member that has no use of his legs, and they modified training for him to do it. Most people, if they interact with you at all, will be from a genuine desire to try to help you.
  • pondee629
    pondee629 Posts: 2,469 Member
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    "I cannot seem to overcome my constant worrying of how others are perceiving me"; Does this fear affect everything in your daily life or just going to the gym? If the former, you need special help; if the latter, nobody cares what you're doing or how you look at the gym Get over it and go, or not, depending on what you want to do.
  • kishmo16
    kishmo16 Posts: 20 Member
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    Larissa_NY wrote: »
    You can get all the advice in the world, but the bottom line is that if you want to go to the gym, at some point you're going to have to put your big girl pants on and just go. It doesn't take that long to figure out how to use a treadmill or an exercise bike, and if you want a trainer to show you the ropes, most gyms will provide it. You don't have to do anything complicated or or be there for three hours; just go, do fifteen minutes on the treadmill, and leave. Repeat until you get comfortable.

    If you can't bring yourself to just go in and get it over with, you'll need to accept that maybe the gym is not for you, and try something else like walking.

    You're definitely right! The warmer months I don't have any issues, but I'm trying to jumpstart it before then.

    thank you!
  • kishmo16
    kishmo16 Posts: 20 Member
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    MikePTY wrote: »
    I think most of the time at the gym, if you are training in an individual environment, most people just mind their own business. Outside of a cursory glance at you, they are much more worried about what they are doing than what you are doing.

    I train in a group class environment (martial arts), and everyone is super supportive and helpful of all the new people. We train all one level, so it is everyone from the experienced students to the newbies. Old, young, fat, skinny, in shape, out of shape. We even have one member that has no use of his legs, and they modified training for him to do it. Most people, if they interact with you at all, will be from a genuine desire to try to help you.

    Thank you - it looks like I'm just going to have to go and wish for the best. I'm sure it'll be a comfortable environment.. once I'm there a bit.

    Thanks again!
  • kishmo16
    kishmo16 Posts: 20 Member
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    noegrand123 wrote: »
    Hi. I felt the same as you! Our gym offered several personal trainers that I could choose from- all completely flexible with amount of sessions I wanted. I actually chose with out knowing, a football strength and conditioning coach (I’m a stay at home mom) and we were a great fit! He showed me how to lift, I counseled him on relationships, job opportunities, what dog to buy! Lol! But needless to say, it took all of the doubt and embarrassment out of me going to the gym. Maybe you could hire one for just a few sessions, to get you started! You can do it!!!

    Thank you! I'm definitely going to look into this. I feel it'll not only make me more comfortable with being there/learning how things work, but also keep me motivated!
  • brightresolve
    brightresolve Posts: 1,024 Member
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    I have struggled with anxiety with new things in general, fear of pushing through that barrier of not knowing how because of my perfectionism that says I should already KNOW how!! And it's way worse when I fear others are watching/judging.

    When I don't try new things because I am afraid, I KNOW I'm the only sufferer, but that doesn't help me lower the bar. Counseling and awareness have helped; talking about my fears with a friend or partner and getting their support helps; but sometimes I have to challenge myself to feel the fear and do it anyway, in SMALL STEPS.

    Would a friend you trust go with you to the student rec center the first time? Not a competitive type of friend but a supportive one. How about going to the rec center, getting on a treadmill to walk with your favorite music for 10 minutes -- then next time, 15, next time, 20 and walk through the weight room looking curious? Do they have student staff there that could show you the machines when you're ready to challenge yourself to ask?

    Also hugs on struggling with the person you see - this unfavorable self image is another thing many of us know about, but no amount of taut muscle really fixes deep self-criticism - that one is better done with our therapists :heart:

    I applaud you for the awareness to be working on these issues and all the best!
  • kishmo16
    kishmo16 Posts: 20 Member
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    withinthemargin wrote: »
    I'm going to take a different stance than the standard reply. I truly hope this is helpful and not detrimental, but just based on my honest experience.

    People will look at you and recognize you if you're new. Not everyone, but the regulars. There's nothing special about gym-goers, if you're in their line of sight they will see you. If they go enough to recognize the other regulars, they'll recognize that you're not a regular.

    However, in my experience, that's really the end of it. They won't think about you any more than that. If you're attractive, people that are attracted to you may think about you a little more, especially if you're new.

    But the only judging I've seen by people at the gym is people judging those that try to give unsolicited (and often vastly incorrect) advice, or those that walk around the gym acting like they're god's gift (and often do very little actual work). People definitely comment

    So, in other words, people will probably notice you and recognize that you're new, but it ends there as just another person coming to the gym.

    Definitely helpful and not detrimental so thank you! It seems I just need to get over that initial hump and I'll be in the clear.

    thank you!
  • kishmo16
    kishmo16 Posts: 20 Member
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    puffbrat wrote: »
    kishmo16 wrote: »
    I appreciate your response!

    I know if I just do it - I'll pick it up quickly, but at this point I'm so nervous about it, especially since I don't know how to use anything. Would you recommend something smaller, or a more mainstream gym that'll help me be comfortable/have someone to assist with learning the equipment?

    Personally, I would recommend a larger more main stream gym. The reason is that you are likely to see a wider variety of people there in terms of age, fitness level, etc. It might help you feel more comfortable because you are more likely to see someone who identify with in some way and make you feel less like you stand out. Also, many large gyms will offer a free session with a personal trainer to teach you how to use the equipment.

    Thank you! I can definitely see how that would be the case. Then maybe I wouldn't stick out so much as there are lots of other newbies there too.

    I'm going to check out some mainstream places around here before I commit, but I think (especially with the feedback I've received) that it's time to push myself and make the uncomfortable more comfortable.

    Thank you again!
  • JessAndreia
    JessAndreia Posts: 540 Member
    edited February 2019
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    I go to a small privately-owned boutique style gym. Started there and still go there - access to two convenient locations, 24/7, never busy.
    At this point, I feel confident enough in my form and whatnot that I'd be able to go to a mainstream gym and feel fine, however it would have been harder for me to start at one due to the fact that they're busier than the particular gym I go to. Even at the beginning I would avoid the busy hours at my gym (busy for them being like 8 people in there at once).
    Whether in a small or big gym you will always "stand out" to whoever happens to be working out near you. You can't make yourself invisible.

    I will say just because someone looks at you for a few seconds doesn't mean they're judging you. You constantly look at people everywhere without thinking anything right?

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