Gym Phobia - Help!
kishmo16
Posts: 20 Member
Good afternoon everyone - Newbie here!
I have struggled with the person I see since before I can remember. Not only is that image not improving, but it's getting worse and more difficult to stay motivated..
The real issue here is being able to work towards my goal/see results by getting over my fear of going to the gym. I have contemplated multiple memberships and even can use the student rec center here for free... but I cannot seem to overcome my constant worrying of how others are perceiving me. I hear it all the time, "No one is even looking at you, they're busy worrying about themselves." But still I feel like in a place like that I stand out as if I have a megaphone in my hand screaming "HI I'M NEW AND DON'T BELONG HERE ANYWAYS!"
I have tried different programs that can be used at home, away from those "prying eyes," but I never stick with it and don't have anyone to hold me accountable.
Has anyone gone through this? What worked for you?
Thanks in advance!
I have struggled with the person I see since before I can remember. Not only is that image not improving, but it's getting worse and more difficult to stay motivated..
The real issue here is being able to work towards my goal/see results by getting over my fear of going to the gym. I have contemplated multiple memberships and even can use the student rec center here for free... but I cannot seem to overcome my constant worrying of how others are perceiving me. I hear it all the time, "No one is even looking at you, they're busy worrying about themselves." But still I feel like in a place like that I stand out as if I have a megaphone in my hand screaming "HI I'M NEW AND DON'T BELONG HERE ANYWAYS!"
I have tried different programs that can be used at home, away from those "prying eyes," but I never stick with it and don't have anyone to hold me accountable.
Has anyone gone through this? What worked for you?
Thanks in advance!
1
Replies
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I was scared to death to walk into my current gym. It was filled with buff people lifting ridiculous amounts of weight.
But I walked in away. I put in my headphones and did my program (Stronglifts 5X5).
Guess what? All those scary people are now friends, and I've had new people tell me I'm now one of the scary ones (which is hilarious to me).7 -
I appreciate your response!
I know if I just do it - I'll pick it up quickly, but at this point I'm so nervous about it, especially since I don't know how to use anything. Would you recommend something smaller, or a more mainstream gym that'll help me be comfortable/have someone to assist with learning the equipment?0 -
Please don't take this the wrong way......have you considered availing yourself of the school's mental health services? We all have quirks and idiosyncrasies that can benefit from talking to a qualified counselor about. A good one can help you gain insights into your behaviour and develop coping mechanisms to work around them.6
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kayleemo16 wrote: »I appreciate your response!
I know if I just do it - I'll pick it up quickly, but at this point I'm so nervous about it, especially since I don't know how to use anything. Would you recommend something smaller, or a more mainstream gym that'll help me be comfortable/have someone to assist with learning the equipment?
Whichever you're more comfortable with, I guess.
I started at an Anytime Fitness, and the story I posted about was when I quit Anytime Fitness and moved to a powerlifting/bodybuilding focused gym.1 -
No offense taken! I'm actually a mental health student and do receive services as well. Just a touch of social anxiety, but nothing I can't push myself through. This however takes the cake and is the one aspect I need to keep working at so I can be comfortable in settings like this.
I'm a very social person - just not at first with new things.
Thanks for your response!1 -
I had such bad gym anxiety when I started I had a fully fledged panic attack in the car park.
Ask them for help. I spoke to someone in there and she helped me with someone one on one sessions to get me past it. I felt so much better knowing how to use everything. Also they helped me come up with a plan so I knew what I would be doing each day.
I'm fine there now but it was invaluable to me to start with.
Good luck with it all x2 -
Thank you so much. I'm glad that worked so well for you and am hoping it goes the same for me!0
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You can get all the advice in the world, but the bottom line is that if you want to go to the gym, at some point you're going to have to put your big girl pants on and just go. It doesn't take that long to figure out how to use a treadmill or an exercise bike, and if you want a trainer to show you the ropes, most gyms will provide it. You don't have to do anything complicated or or be there for three hours; just go, do fifteen minutes on the treadmill, and leave. Repeat until you get comfortable.
If you can't bring yourself to just go in and get it over with, you'll need to accept that maybe the gym is not for you, and try something else like walking.2 -
I'm going to take a different stance than the standard reply. I truly hope this is helpful and not detrimental, but just based on my honest experience.
People will look at you and recognize you if you're new. Not everyone, but the regulars. There's nothing special about gym-goers, if you're in their line of sight they will see you. If they go enough to recognize the other regulars, they'll recognize that you're not a regular.
However, in my experience, that's really the end of it. They won't think about you any more than that. If you're attractive, people that are attracted to you may think about you a little more, especially if you're new.
But the only judging I've seen by people at the gym is people judging those that try to give unsolicited (and often vastly incorrect) advice, or those that walk around the gym acting like they're god's gift (and often do very little actual work). People definitely comment
So, in other words, people will probably notice you and recognize that you're new, but it ends there as just another person coming to the gym.5 -
Hi. I felt the same as you! Our gym offered several personal trainers that I could choose from- all completely flexible with amount of sessions I wanted. I actually chose with out knowing, a football strength and conditioning coach (I’m a stay at home mom) and we were a great fit! He showed me how to lift, I counseled him on relationships, job opportunities, what dog to buy! Lol! But needless to say, it took all of the doubt and embarrassment out of me going to the gym. Maybe you could hire one for just a few sessions, to get you started! You can do it!!!1
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I think most of the time at the gym, if you are training in an individual environment, most people just mind their own business. Outside of a cursory glance at you, they are much more worried about what they are doing than what you are doing.
I train in a group class environment (martial arts), and everyone is super supportive and helpful of all the new people. We train all one level, so it is everyone from the experienced students to the newbies. Old, young, fat, skinny, in shape, out of shape. We even have one member that has no use of his legs, and they modified training for him to do it. Most people, if they interact with you at all, will be from a genuine desire to try to help you.2 -
"I cannot seem to overcome my constant worrying of how others are perceiving me"; Does this fear affect everything in your daily life or just going to the gym? If the former, you need special help; if the latter, nobody cares what you're doing or how you look at the gym Get over it and go, or not, depending on what you want to do.2
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Larissa_NY wrote: »You can get all the advice in the world, but the bottom line is that if you want to go to the gym, at some point you're going to have to put your big girl pants on and just go. It doesn't take that long to figure out how to use a treadmill or an exercise bike, and if you want a trainer to show you the ropes, most gyms will provide it. You don't have to do anything complicated or or be there for three hours; just go, do fifteen minutes on the treadmill, and leave. Repeat until you get comfortable.
If you can't bring yourself to just go in and get it over with, you'll need to accept that maybe the gym is not for you, and try something else like walking.
You're definitely right! The warmer months I don't have any issues, but I'm trying to jumpstart it before then.
thank you!0 -
I think most of the time at the gym, if you are training in an individual environment, most people just mind their own business. Outside of a cursory glance at you, they are much more worried about what they are doing than what you are doing.
I train in a group class environment (martial arts), and everyone is super supportive and helpful of all the new people. We train all one level, so it is everyone from the experienced students to the newbies. Old, young, fat, skinny, in shape, out of shape. We even have one member that has no use of his legs, and they modified training for him to do it. Most people, if they interact with you at all, will be from a genuine desire to try to help you.
Thank you - it looks like I'm just going to have to go and wish for the best. I'm sure it'll be a comfortable environment.. once I'm there a bit.
Thanks again!0 -
noegrand123 wrote: »Hi. I felt the same as you! Our gym offered several personal trainers that I could choose from- all completely flexible with amount of sessions I wanted. I actually chose with out knowing, a football strength and conditioning coach (I’m a stay at home mom) and we were a great fit! He showed me how to lift, I counseled him on relationships, job opportunities, what dog to buy! Lol! But needless to say, it took all of the doubt and embarrassment out of me going to the gym. Maybe you could hire one for just a few sessions, to get you started! You can do it!!!
Thank you! I'm definitely going to look into this. I feel it'll not only make me more comfortable with being there/learning how things work, but also keep me motivated!1 -
I have struggled with anxiety with new things in general, fear of pushing through that barrier of not knowing how because of my perfectionism that says I should already KNOW how!! And it's way worse when I fear others are watching/judging.
When I don't try new things because I am afraid, I KNOW I'm the only sufferer, but that doesn't help me lower the bar. Counseling and awareness have helped; talking about my fears with a friend or partner and getting their support helps; but sometimes I have to challenge myself to feel the fear and do it anyway, in SMALL STEPS.
Would a friend you trust go with you to the student rec center the first time? Not a competitive type of friend but a supportive one. How about going to the rec center, getting on a treadmill to walk with your favorite music for 10 minutes -- then next time, 15, next time, 20 and walk through the weight room looking curious? Do they have student staff there that could show you the machines when you're ready to challenge yourself to ask?
Also hugs on struggling with the person you see - this unfavorable self image is another thing many of us know about, but no amount of taut muscle really fixes deep self-criticism - that one is better done with our therapists
I applaud you for the awareness to be working on these issues and all the best!1 -
withinthemargin wrote: »I'm going to take a different stance than the standard reply. I truly hope this is helpful and not detrimental, but just based on my honest experience.
People will look at you and recognize you if you're new. Not everyone, but the regulars. There's nothing special about gym-goers, if you're in their line of sight they will see you. If they go enough to recognize the other regulars, they'll recognize that you're not a regular.
However, in my experience, that's really the end of it. They won't think about you any more than that. If you're attractive, people that are attracted to you may think about you a little more, especially if you're new.
But the only judging I've seen by people at the gym is people judging those that try to give unsolicited (and often vastly incorrect) advice, or those that walk around the gym acting like they're god's gift (and often do very little actual work). People definitely comment
So, in other words, people will probably notice you and recognize that you're new, but it ends there as just another person coming to the gym.
Definitely helpful and not detrimental so thank you! It seems I just need to get over that initial hump and I'll be in the clear.
thank you!0 -
I appreciate your response!
I know if I just do it - I'll pick it up quickly, but at this point I'm so nervous about it, especially since I don't know how to use anything. Would you recommend something smaller, or a more mainstream gym that'll help me be comfortable/have someone to assist with learning the equipment?
Personally, I would recommend a larger more main stream gym. The reason is that you are likely to see a wider variety of people there in terms of age, fitness level, etc. It might help you feel more comfortable because you are more likely to see someone who identify with in some way and make you feel less like you stand out. Also, many large gyms will offer a free session with a personal trainer to teach you how to use the equipment.6 -
I appreciate your response!
I know if I just do it - I'll pick it up quickly, but at this point I'm so nervous about it, especially since I don't know how to use anything. Would you recommend something smaller, or a more mainstream gym that'll help me be comfortable/have someone to assist with learning the equipment?
Personally, I would recommend a larger more main stream gym. The reason is that you are likely to see a wider variety of people there in terms of age, fitness level, etc. It might help you feel more comfortable because you are more likely to see someone who identify with in some way and make you feel less like you stand out. Also, many large gyms will offer a free session with a personal trainer to teach you how to use the equipment.
Thank you! I can definitely see how that would be the case. Then maybe I wouldn't stick out so much as there are lots of other newbies there too.
I'm going to check out some mainstream places around here before I commit, but I think (especially with the feedback I've received) that it's time to push myself and make the uncomfortable more comfortable.
Thank you again!0 -
I go to a small privately-owned boutique style gym. Started there and still go there - access to two convenient locations, 24/7, never busy.
At this point, I feel confident enough in my form and whatnot that I'd be able to go to a mainstream gym and feel fine, however it would have been harder for me to start at one due to the fact that they're busier than the particular gym I go to. Even at the beginning I would avoid the busy hours at my gym (busy for them being like 8 people in there at once).
Whether in a small or big gym you will always "stand out" to whoever happens to be working out near you. You can't make yourself invisible.
I will say just because someone looks at you for a few seconds doesn't mean they're judging you. You constantly look at people everywhere without thinking anything right?1 -
A gym buddy can help a lot when you're new. Also, a session with a trainer can help you feel like you know what you're doing.
When I have anxiety about new situations it helps me to catastrophize. The problem with free-floating anxiety is that it's impossible to get over being scared of everything and nothing in particular. Narrow it down. What specific thing are you afraid will happen? What's the worst possible thing you can come up with? Let's say you stand there like you don't know how to use the equipment while people are staring at you, then you do exactly the wrong thing with one of the machines and someone makes a cutting remark behind your back. Guess what? YOU WILL NOT DIE. Not only is this scenario unlikely, since most gym goers are nice when they pay any attention at all, but nothing about it is fatal. If the worst thing happened, the result would be... that you come back the next day with a little more experience and do it right the second time.1 -
I appreciate your response!
I know if I just do it - I'll pick it up quickly, but at this point I'm so nervous about it, especially since I don't know how to use anything. Would you recommend something smaller, or a more mainstream gym that'll help me be comfortable/have someone to assist with learning the equipment?
Personally, I would recommend a larger more main stream gym. The reason is that you are likely to see a wider variety of people there in terms of age, fitness level, etc. It might help you feel more comfortable because you are more likely to see someone who identify with in some way and make you feel less like you stand out. Also, many large gyms will offer a free session with a personal trainer to teach you how to use the equipment.
Thank you! I can definitely see how that would be the case. Then maybe I wouldn't stick out so much as there are lots of other newbies there too.
I'm going to check out some mainstream places around here before I commit, but I think (especially with the feedback I've received) that it's time to push myself and make the uncomfortable more comfortable.
Thank you again!
Do you still have access to your school's gym? If so that's where I'd start. It's free which lowers some of the stakes, there are likely a lot of new people coming in and out, and I'm assuming it's pretty accessible to you. One of the things I've been known to do is realize that I a. have gym clothes with me and b. have the time (and moderate amount of desire) to work out. That makes it really easy for me to go from class to the gym, work out, take a shower, and go on with the rest of my day.1 -
If you have the means, it may be worthwhile to invest in a personal training package - where you work with a trainer, say, once a week, do your prescribed workouts the other days, and then meet with them again the next week.
This would serve a few purposes: They can teach you how to use the equipment, keep an eye on your form, and when you do have to go in on your own, well, you're doing what you agreed to do with your trainer. The financial commitment can help a bit too, as can knowing you have to explain your progress (or lack thereof) to your trainer the next week.
Plus, when you're there on the other days, you may see your trainer (one friendly face you've already met) and you'll feel confident doing what you're working on as a professional has already gone through it with you. You'll get familiarized with a wider variety of the available equipment - and, hopefully, that gym anxiety will start to pass!1 -
I also felt the way about the gym, I think it’s fairly normal. I would just start and do the treadmill a few weeks and scope it out a bit. You’ll start to get more confident and realize that people are just doing their own thing. Watch videos on YouTube on how to use some of the other machines you see there and give them a try. This is what I’ve done and I’m comfortable with everything now except the back section of free weight stuff where all the scary body building people hang out lol. I’ve been practicing a routine at home with dumbbells and once I’m confident with that maybe I’ll venture back but I do use the weight machines and all the cardio machines. 1
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I’ve felt the same way but u really have to just jump in. Hire a trainer to show u around. Many gyms offer small group classes, great way to get into it. Everyone starts sometime! Also if u have a YMCA closeby, I find them the less intimidating gym.1
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brightresolve wrote: »I have struggled with anxiety with new things in general, fear of pushing through that barrier of not knowing how because of my perfectionism that says I should already KNOW how!! And it's way worse when I fear others are watching/judging.
When I don't try new things because I am afraid, I KNOW I'm the only sufferer, but that doesn't help me lower the bar. Counseling and awareness have helped; talking about my fears with a friend or partner and getting their support helps; but sometimes I have to challenge myself to feel the fear and do it anyway, in SMALL STEPS.
Would a friend you trust go with you to the student rec center the first time? Not a competitive type of friend but a supportive one. How about going to the rec center, getting on a treadmill to walk with your favorite music for 10 minutes -- then next time, 15, next time, 20 and walk through the weight room looking curious? Do they have student staff there that could show you the machines when you're ready to challenge yourself to ask?
Also hugs on struggling with the person you see - this unfavorable self image is another thing many of us know about, but no amount of taut muscle really fixes deep self-criticism - that one is better done with our therapists
I applaud you for the awareness to be working on these issues and all the best!
This is exactly how it is for me. I know I'm only hurting myself so the slight discomfort for a little bit will definitely be worth the outcomes if I push myself a little bit.
I'm going to see if someone will go with me after our class tonight and see how it goes!
Thank you so much for your feedback!0 -
HoneyBadger155 wrote: »If you have the means, it may be worthwhile to invest in a personal training package - where you work with a trainer, say, once a week, do your prescribed workouts the other days, and then meet with them again the next week.
This would serve a few purposes: They can teach you how to use the equipment, keep an eye on your form, and when you do have to go in on your own, well, you're doing what you agreed to do with your trainer. The financial commitment can help a bit too, as can knowing you have to explain your progress (or lack thereof) to your trainer the next week.
Plus, when you're there on the other days, you may see your trainer (one friendly face you've already met) and you'll feel confident doing what you're working on as a professional has already gone through it with you. You'll get familiarized with a wider variety of the available equipment - and, hopefully, that gym anxiety will start to pass!
I definitely need to look into this because for one, I think it would help me feel much more comfortable and secondly, it definitely hold me accountable!
thank you!0 -
I remember what it's like to join a gym and not know what most of the equipment is for or what to do with it. The easiest way is definitely a personal trainer. They should give you a program based on your goals and show you how to use everything you need to use and hopefully with the correct form.
What I did was just start with the easy stuff and work my way up to the more complicated stuff. The first day I might just walk on the treadmill and scope out the surroundings. You can keep an eye on how others are using the machines to see how they work. Then I went and used some of the ones that looked easy enough, kind of scoping out other ones as I went around the room. Eventually you can work your way up to free weights kettlebells, and things like that. It took me years before I even tried a squat, I thought I would hurt myself. Try to focus on your workout instead of the people around you.
The first couple days I try to take a mental inventory of all the things the gym has so when I figure out a program to follow I know what's available. Watch some youtube videos, learn good form and posture, learn to engage your core, things like that. Start out simple. My beginner routine was do some cardio as a warm up, then upper body machines (about 3 sets of 8-12), then some stretching. The next day I did the same thing but with lower body. Eventually you can work your way up to more complicated routines.1 -
Does your gym have any kind of induction sessions? When I joined my gym they offered general fitness inductions, toning inductions and weight loss inductions which were basically just showing us round the gym and giving us advice on how best to use the gym to meet our goals. It was a really useful way to walk around and get familiar with the place and machines, get to know some of the staff and made me feel a lot more comfortable.
I think it’s one of those things where you’ve just got to keep trying and going and soon you’ll come to recognise faces, you’ll feel the benefits of the exercise and will slowly feel more comfortable.0 -
Do you have a friend who could maybe go with you? Ideally, someone who knows what they are doing so they can "show you the ropes" and let you get comfortable and gain some confidence so when it's time for you to spread your wings and go on your own, you don't feel as anxious about it? I mean, really, even a friend who is clueless but willing to learn would maybe give you the buddy-system; maybe the 2 of you could even do a few personal training sessions together (which would also mean less $$$ out of your pocket if you split the cost)?0
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