Dedication V.S Obsession.
CharlieCharlie007
Posts: 246 Member
Why did I write this topic. Because people are constantly approaching me now, telling me, you are obsessive, you have lost so much weight, you look fine, give it a rest and enjoy life. Or, you are getting too skinny. Well, I believe that, when people call me obsessive, It just shows that either they do not value reaching for physical perfection, or, people reaching for physical perfection, threatens their own feeling of self worth, or even out of envy. Whether someone is considered obsessive or dedicated in normal aspects of life(stalking not covered here) always depends on perspective. It almost feels as if these people are fitness bigots, if that can be said. Those of you who have really made progress, how often do people call you obsessive? And what do you think drives these people to feel that way?
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It can be but there is also a line that takes you from dedicated to obsessive. I am dedicated to weight loss but one of my previous attempts was obsessive. The moment of realisation was when i forgot my lunch and hadca panic attack at the thought of havingbthe wrong food and had nothing.3
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I think the real question here that is unanswered is: are you obsessive? Who are these people who are telling you this? Are they random people you don't know that well, or are they people close to you? That you consider your journey one of "reaching physical perfection" indicates to me that there is a possibility that you may be obsessive with in an unhealthy way. A person can be obsessive about anything. If you are putting fitness in front of other things that are important in life, such as work, family, etc, then you might be obsessive. If you are pursuing fitness to such a degree that you are doing damage to your long term health, you might be obsessive. I obviously don't know you well enough to make that determination for you. But if those close to you are worried for you, perhaps it may be time to at least give it some consideration.
Also, there is no such thing as a fitness bigot, that's silly. Sometimes people can project their own thoughts and feelings on to you, so they might think that because something is unattainable for them, it is the same for you. So maybe you are really fine and they are jut not able to understand your life choices. But the term "reaching for physical perfection" really stands out as one of concern for me.7 -
It's not about you.
It's about "them" - and IMHO you want to adjust your response because that's what you control.
The trick is to come up with a reasonable response to "them" and think of something empowering to you. For example, nodding, smiling, and saying, "I know, right?" while thinking, "I am the best version of myself ever!" empowers you to ignore what is not building and supporting you while allowing you to maintain relationships with family, friends, etc.
My journey to better health and fitness is beginning; my goal is to use my advice to you by the end of the year!
Be well.3 -
If someone told me I was obsessive in regards to fitness I'd just assume their definition of the word is different than mine. I don't care what anyone's opinion is regarding my life and health.
Otherwise, I agree with both @eeanneli and @MikePTY. There is a distinction between living a fitness lifestyle and letting it take over other aspects of your life.
Each person is different and trying to analyze why someone may call you or me obsessive isn't my call to make.3 -
The last time I lost a bunch of weight I had these same comments. All I heard was negative comments from everyone. It really got to me mentally. It lead to me gaining some weight back and they shut up. A few years later and im working on losing some weight again. I make sure I do not talk about my weight loss or goals with anyone. Last time I had no secrets. Im hoping being more secret this time will not give people the fuel they need to say these comments. I think it does take some obsession to be dedicated.
Do you feel you are obsessive? Can you have a bad day or a meal out without it bothering you?2 -
Any time a level of dedication is put toward a goal, people tend to become a bit obsessed. And there's nothing wrong with that. Wealthy people don't take a break from trying to make money, they're constantly thinking of long-term sustainability or accumulating more wealth.
Healthy people don't take a break from being healthy in the same way.
Now there's a difference between obsessed and completely neurotic. There are healthy obsessions where positive feedback results in a benefit that can be applicable to various aspects of life, relationships, society, etc. If the obsession results in pushing for a goal at the expense of any benefit, other than your own skewed perception, then it's problematic.
That said, I will freely admit when I'm obsessed about attaining goals, and I will consider it an invite to speak about it if questioned. Those who seemingly oppose it are welcome to speak their mind, as long as there is substantial reasoning and evidence that it's actually damaging. If it's just an opinion, take a look at the person saying it. If they have been successful in the same goal I have; i.e. body composition/business/etc. then there's some validity to it and maybe a reevaluation is needed, which still proves to be a benefit to yourself. If it's completely baseless and it's a subject in which they have no experience or knowledge, then let them speak as you keep doing what you're doing.
There are a lot of reasons why the latter have an opposition, whether it's because your progress illustrates their shortcomings to even begin or because they have some preconceived notion of fitness that leads them to fit shaming, but none of that matters if there's no benefit from it.
TL;DR: Eff 'em, do you.1 -
What is physical perfection? That is a definition that is different for every person and can change with time and perspective. Is it something you can actually achieve and, if so, what happens then? I think there is a difference between striving for improvement and striving for perfection. I don't think striving for perfection is necessarily healthy for any aspect of life and makes think there is a possibility that you are actually obsessive. However it is also entirely possible that this is just a matter of differing definitions.5
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People didn’t call me that, but I’m sure a lot of folks thought I was nuts.
I lost the last 40lbs on Weight Watchers. I attended meetings. I came to view meetings as the school of what not to do. Quickly noticed a pattern of people making GW, and coming back years later having regained everything. I vowed not to do it.
I made goal and kept attending that meeting for about 10 years. Never over GW. I only left the meeting because we moved away. This last year I finally started thinking that I won’t regain what I’ve lost unless I lose my mind.
I think a lot of the folks at that meeting thought I was crazy. I don’t care. I made my decisions about what I wanted for myself. It was my business.
Don’t know why folks feel free to comment about our behavior when we are losing. I weighed 285lbs and was killing myself with food and drink. No one seemed to think that was obsessive though it plainly was.
Maybe over doing it is just in my nature. Over doing weight loss is better for me than what I was doing before.2 -
Personally, and this is just me kids so don't get your knickers in a knot: But my fitness, finance, or personal goals, are just that: "Mine".
At the risk of sounding like a complete narcissist, it is all about me. There are very few things in life that we can control, but how we treat others, and how we treat ourselves is one of them.
In my experience, it typically isn't successful people who say things like "you’re being obsessive." Harsh, I know, but that's just been my experience.
Very few who have been successful at anything, haven't been a bit "obsessive". I have two 4 year degrees, was I being obsessive? I’m 50 yrs old, 6’0 ft, 215 @10% BF, is that obsessive? Maybe, but, I’ll do me, and I’ll let other do them.
I don’t take financial advice from people who don’t have at least $2 Mil in the bank.
You keep doing you brother.
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11Templars wrote: »Personally, and this is just me kids so don't get your knickers in a knot: But my fitness, finance, or personal goals, are just that: "Mine".
At the risk of sounding like a complete narcissist, it is all about me. There are very few things in life that we can control, but how we treat others, and how we treat ourselves is one of them.
In my experience, it typically isn't successful people who say things like "you’re being obsessive." Harsh, I know, but that's just been my experience.
Very few who have been successful at anything, haven't been a bit "obsessive". I have two 4 year degrees, was I being obsessive? I’m 50 yrs old, 6’0 ft, 215 @10% BF, is that obsessive? Maybe, but, I’ll do me, and I’ll let other do them.
I don’t take financial advice from people who don’t have at least $2 Mil in the bank.
You keep doing you brother.
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Well said.
So Say We all!]1 -
Well, if I were around, I'd give you a high-five and compliment you. There's nothing more appealing than self discipline, be it physical or mental. It requires work, where most people don't even care to look. So I say Kudos to you! 🤠0
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