Asking a girl to be your gf tips? What did i do wrong

_DevinCianna_
_DevinCianna_ Posts: 50 Member
edited December 19 in Chit-Chat
Been seeing this girl since January and everything is going great. The week of Valentines Day we exchanged gifts and she bought me some sneakers and we aren’t a real couple yet so I was surprised at her gift. Two days later she was over and I mentioned a relationship but I was shy around the subject so I dropped it
I finally got the balls and asked her to be together and her response was “are you serious”
I said yes I’m serious am I supposed to be joking about my feelings? Her response is making me think negatively ... did i do something wrong ?
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Replies

  • _DevinCianna_
    _DevinCianna_ Posts: 50 Member
    CoffeeAndContour wrote: »
    Seems to me that y’all have already been a couple.

    I didn’t properly ask her ... she goes with me to the gym and stuff but it could be friendly on her side idk
  • como_agua1
    como_agua1 Posts: 210 Member
    if she got you a gift - i'd say you're good to go! esp if you've been seeing her since january. sometimes *are you serious* can be taken a few ways
  • _DevinCianna_
    _DevinCianna_ Posts: 50 Member
    como_agua1 wrote: »
    if she got you a gift - i'd say you're good to go! esp if you've been seeing her since january. sometimes *are you serious* can be taken a few ways

    She kind of been ignoring me since so I was trying to figure out what i did lol
  • michael1976_ca
    michael1976_ca Posts: 3,488 Member
    Sounds like something i would say. But i agree you two sound like a couple already
  • CoffeeAndContour
    CoffeeAndContour Posts: 1,466 Member
    _DevinCianna_ wrote: »
    CoffeeAndContour wrote: »
    Seems to me that y’all have already been a couple.

    I didn’t properly ask her ... she goes with me to the gym and stuff but it could be friendly on her side idk

    You don’t have to ask her. You’re spending your time together and not spending time with others romantic interests I assume?

    I mean, it’s cool if you wanna know for sure, I just think this may be why she responded as she did.
  • _DevinCianna_
    _DevinCianna_ Posts: 50 Member
    CoffeeAndContour wrote: »
    _DevinCianna_ wrote: »
    CoffeeAndContour wrote: »
    Seems to me that y’all have already been a couple.

    I didn’t properly ask her ... she goes with me to the gym and stuff but it could be friendly on her side idk

    You don’t have to ask her. You’re spending your time together and not spending time with others romantic interests I assume?

    I mean, it’s cool if you wanna know for sure, I just think this may be why she responded as she did.

    Ahh makes sense thank you
  • 39flavours
    39flavours Posts: 1,494 Member
    At some point you might wanna bring up being exclusive with each other. She might be worrying that you've been seeing other people up till this point. Talk to her, tell her how you feel!
  • _DevinCianna_
    _DevinCianna_ Posts: 50 Member
    39flavours wrote: »
    At some point you might wanna bring up being exclusive with each other. She might be worrying that you've been seeing other people up till this point. Talk to her, tell her how you feel!

    Why would she think that? That’s far fetched lol
  • 39flavours
    39flavours Posts: 1,494 Member
    _DevinCianna_ wrote: »
    39flavours wrote: »
    At some point you might wanna bring up being exclusive with each other. She might be worrying that you've been seeing other people up till this point. Talk to her, tell her how you feel!

    Why would she think that? That’s far fetched lol

    I don't know. I don't know you and I don't know her so maybe it is far fetched from your point of view but it happens, especially in this world of internet dating where human relationships are often treated like commodities to consume and throw away. I'm speaking from experience.
  • _DevinCianna_
    _DevinCianna_ Posts: 50 Member
    ButterIsGood wrote: »
    She prob thought you guys were actually together that whole time and now that you bring up being official, she's questioning what she was this whole time? Talk to her and explain to her that you're only into her and wanted to make it officially official.

    But she responded with was I serious ? I thought she was making sure i knew she is what i wanted
  • Deadman_Diggingup
    Deadman_Diggingup Posts: 3,082 Member
    _DevinCianna_ wrote: »
    39flavours wrote: »
    At some point you might wanna bring up being exclusive with each other. She might be worrying that you've been seeing other people up till this point. Talk to her, tell her how you feel!

    Why would she think that? That’s far fetched lol

    Is it? Is it far fetched? Why would she think that?... because you’d rather create worry than have an adult conversation about where you stand in your 2 month relationship.
  • jruch23
    jruch23 Posts: 1,069 Member
    Did she seem to be joking in a playful way with you and give you a smile when she said that or did she seem utterly confused?
  • _DevinCianna_
    _DevinCianna_ Posts: 50 Member
    jruch23 wrote: »
    Did she seem to be joking in a playful way with you and give you a smile when she said that or did she seem utterly confused?

    Confused
  • _DevinCianna_
    _DevinCianna_ Posts: 50 Member
    JustPassingTime wrote: »
    It's been 2 days you didn't talk to her about it again?

    I have she’s been avoiding the question i think she’s mad
  • _DevinCianna_
    _DevinCianna_ Posts: 50 Member
    JustPassingTime wrote: »
    _DevinCianna_ wrote: »
    JustPassingTime wrote: »
    It's been 2 days you didn't talk to her about it again?

    I have she’s been avoiding the question i think she’s mad

    She's mad? Lol

    Why else would she say “are you serious” and not say nothing back
  • jruch23
    jruch23 Posts: 1,069 Member
    She might be confused because she probably thought you guys were already a couple and your question caught her off guard. So I agree with the others above. Don't give up on her man she obviously likes you. You guys just have to have the talk. Every couple has to unless both parties think the relationship or "title of the two of you" is mutual.
  • _DevinCianna_
    _DevinCianna_ Posts: 50 Member
    I feel like she probably did think we were together lol
  • 39flavours
    39flavours Posts: 1,494 Member
    Are you sure she's gay? It could have just been a friends Valentine thing and she's shocked that you thought it was more.
  • jruch23
    jruch23 Posts: 1,069 Member
    JustPassingTime wrote: »
    Just out of the blue just say 'hey I love you, you know it?' and tell us her reaction then 😂

    No don't do that lol
  • ceiswyn
    ceiswyn Posts: 2,256 Member
    Why don’t you just ask her?!

    If you can’t communicate about little things like this, you shouldn’t be trying to have a relationship.
  • _DevinCianna_
    _DevinCianna_ Posts: 50 Member
    edited March 2019
    JustPassingTime wrote: »
    39flavours wrote: »
    Are you sure she's gay? It could have just been a friends Valentine thing and she's shocked that you thought it was more.

    If a gay friend ask you that, would you get mad or explain it to them that you're not gay?

    I’ve kissed her we’ve did “things” so I’m sure she’s gay lol
  • 39flavours
    39flavours Posts: 1,494 Member
    JustPassingTime wrote: »
    39flavours wrote: »
    Are you sure she's gay? It could have just been a friends Valentine thing and she's shocked that you thought it was more.

    If a gay friend ask you that, would you get mad or explain it to them that you're not gay?

    I guess it depends how immature you are?
  • 39flavours
    39flavours Posts: 1,494 Member
    JustPassingTime wrote: »
    39flavours wrote: »
    JustPassingTime wrote: »
    39flavours wrote: »
    Are you sure she's gay? It could have just been a friends Valentine thing and she's shocked that you thought it was more.

    If a gay friend ask you that, would you get mad or explain it to them that you're not gay?

    I guess it depends how immature you are?

    I just dont see anybody getting mad for getting confused.

    Embarrassed maybe? That can come across as defensive and cross. Anyway op says they've been intimate so that's not what's going on here.
  • realalize
    realalize Posts: 67 Member
    Kind of surprised by all the comments encouraging you to just assume she thought you guys were together. Communication is key. You won't get anywhere or be able to grow together unless you communicate. For your peace of mind, you might consider talking to her again and finding out what she feels, thinks, wants. It could save you a lot of heartache later. In my opinion, her reaction raises some red flags. Best of luck to you
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    edited March 2019
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  • _DevinCianna_
    _DevinCianna_ Posts: 50 Member
    SurfyFoFurfy wrote: »
    _DevinCianna_ wrote: »
    Been seeing this girl since January and everything is going great. The week of Valentines Day we exchanged gifts and she bought me some sneakers and we aren’t a real couple yet so I was surprised at her gift. Two days later she was over and I mentioned a relationship but I was shy around the subject so I dropped it
    I finally got the balls and asked her to be together and her response was “are you serious”
    I said yes I’m serious am I supposed to be joking about my feelings? Her response is making me think negatively ... did i do something wrong ?

    It depends. What kind of sneakers did she buy you? Authentic Converse say one thing, cheap replicas, something else.

    She got me a pair of Nike Air Maxes a $110 pair of shoes
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