Defeatist attitude

Hi guys. I’ve been back here since January and had plans to lose 10 pounds by Spring. I’m a 5’4” chick, 36 y/o, started at 137. In January I lost 5 pounds and was feeling hopeful. My bf and I went on an anniversary trip and I knew I’d put a little back on, but it was just a weekend and figured I couldn’t do that much damage. I came back 3 pounds heavier and my weight hasn’t changed since. That was 2 weeks ago.

I’m really struggling with this feeling that I’ll never get there. Spring is 3 weeks away and I’m 8 pounds away from where I wanted to be. It’s not going to happen by then. And, I also ask myself if it’s really that important to me. Should I focus on other things? Should I accept that I’m getting older and a little flabbier and just stop worrying about it and focus on other things? I’m fairly active; I love walking and hiking with my dog, and that takes up most of my allotted exercise time. We hit 22 miles a week every week in January although I’ve slacked off lately. The thought of sacrificing a hike to go to the gym instead sounds like a punishment, even though I know I should start weight training.

I guess I’m just discouraged that I’m only 2-3 pounds from where I started. I feel like I’m eating less but I also think I’m good at fooling myself. I haven’t worried much about what I’m eating, only calories. I don’t want to make sacrifices, and I know I have to if I want to do this.

Thanks for reading my vent. Any words of encouragement, or any perspectives appreciated.

Replies

  • jlynnm70
    jlynnm70 Posts: 460 Member
    As long as you are in the allotted calories you will be fine. The trick is to make sure you measure your food to avoid portion creep and to make sure you really are within your calories. Sounds like you are plenty active - so I'd just start weighing and measuring food to make sure you really are where you are supposed to be.

    Also - maybe you have more time for spring than you think, depending on where you are - I think that stupid groundhog lied - (I'm in Midwest and there is snow in the forecast through 3/16!)
  • lillyblack1982
    lillyblack1982 Posts: 63 Member
    Thanks guys. I know I’m not overweight but I’m definitely not as lean as I’d like to be, especially in the midsection. I’ve always been on the smaller side (the heaviest I’ve ever been was 143) and I maintained 128 with no effort all through my 20s.

    I think I just need to be more patient, it’s just hard when I’m making an effort and not seeing it on the scale. Maybe, as said above, part of my problem is I need to put less stock in what it says.
  • InsertFunnyUsernameHere
    InsertFunnyUsernameHere Posts: 271 Member
    edited March 2019
    Hi guys. I’ve been back here since January and had plans to lose 10 pounds by Spring. I’m a 5’4” chick, 36 y/o, started at 137. In January I lost 5 pounds and was feeling hopeful. My bf and I went on an anniversary trip and I knew I’d put a little back on, but it was just a weekend and figured I couldn’t do that much damage. I came back 3 pounds heavier and my weight hasn’t changed since. That was 2 weeks ago.

    I’m really struggling with this feeling that I’ll never get there. Spring is 3 weeks away and I’m 8 pounds away from where I wanted to be. It’s not going to happen by then. And, I also ask myself if it’s really that important to me. Should I focus on other things? Should I accept that I’m getting older and a little flabbier and just stop worrying about it and focus on other things? I’m fairly active; I love walking and hiking with my dog, and that takes up most of my allotted exercise time. We hit 22 miles a week every week in January although I’ve slacked off lately. The thought of sacrificing a hike to go to the gym instead sounds like a punishment, even though I know I should start weight training.

    I guess I’m just discouraged that I’m only 2-3 pounds from where I started. I feel like I’m eating less but I also think I’m good at fooling myself. I haven’t worried much about what I’m eating, only calories. I don’t want to make sacrifices, and I know I have to if I want to do this.

    Thanks for reading my vent. Any words of encouragement, or any perspectives appreciated.

    You are underestimating the effect of too much sodium and water has on your bodyweight. People go on vacation all the time and come back thinking they've gained 5lbs or 8lbs or whatever. In reality, they've eaten foods that are bloating, either because they are high in salt or carbs. It takes a couple of weeks of normal eating for that to "flush" out of your system.

    If you want to help it, dial down your carbs for a couple of days and your body will start using its glycogen stores in your muscles more quickly. As those are used, the water being retained in the muscle is released. This is actually how bodybuilders prepare to be the leanest they can on competition days. They go low carb right before a competition so that they can flush as much water out of their muscles as possible. They time to the actual hour of the meet if they can.

    If you keep your carbs lowered, then you can retain the lean look longer, but as soon as you revert back to normal levels, you'll pick up some water weight again. In your case, your normal level is how you looked before your vacation, which should be fine for you.

    Stick with CICO. Be honest an accurate with your logging. Maybe increase your TDEE deficit a little bit if there is room for that. Get back out walking/hiking again. Maybe eat more fruit/veggies to get your carbs, rather than rice/pasta/etc.

  • lillyblack1982
    lillyblack1982 Posts: 63 Member

    You are underestimating the effect of too much sodium and water has on your bodyweight. People go on vacation all the time and come back thinking they've gained 5lbs or 8lbs or whatever. In reality, they've eaten foods that are bloating, either because they are high in salt or carbs. It takes a couple of weeks of normal eating for that to "flush" out of your system.

    If you want to help it, dial down your carbs for a couple of days and your body will start using its glycogen stores in your muscles more quickly. As those are used, the water being retained in the muscle is released. This is actually how bodybuilders prepare to be the leanest they can on competition days. They go low carb right before a competition so that they can flush as much water out of their muscles as possible. They time to the actual hour of the meet if they can.

    If you keep your carbs lowered, then you can retain the lean look longer, but as soon as you revert back to normal levels, you'll pick up some water weight again. In your case, your normal level is how you looked before your vacation, which should be fine for you.

    Stick with CICO. Be honest an accurate with your logging. Maybe increase your TDEE deficit a little bit if there is room for that. Get back out walking/hiking again. Maybe eat more fruit/veggies to get your carbs, rather than rice/pasta/etc.

    Thank you for this info, I did not realize that water retention could last so long. I guess I always thought it was just a few days? That’s good to know.
  • InsertFunnyUsernameHere
    InsertFunnyUsernameHere Posts: 271 Member
    edited March 2019

    You are underestimating the effect of too much sodium and water has on your bodyweight. People go on vacation all the time and come back thinking they've gained 5lbs or 8lbs or whatever. In reality, they've eaten foods that are bloating, either because they are high in salt or carbs. It takes a couple of weeks of normal eating for that to "flush" out of your system.

    If you want to help it, dial down your carbs for a couple of days and your body will start using its glycogen stores in your muscles more quickly. As those are used, the water being retained in the muscle is released. This is actually how bodybuilders prepare to be the leanest they can on competition days. They go low carb right before a competition so that they can flush as much water out of their muscles as possible. They time to the actual hour of the meet if they can.

    If you keep your carbs lowered, then you can retain the lean look longer, but as soon as you revert back to normal levels, you'll pick up some water weight again. In your case, your normal level is how you looked before your vacation, which should be fine for you.

    Stick with CICO. Be honest an accurate with your logging. Maybe increase your TDEE deficit a little bit if there is room for that. Get back out walking/hiking again. Maybe eat more fruit/veggies to get your carbs, rather than rice/pasta/etc.

    Thank you for this info, I did not realize that water retention could last so long. I guess I always thought it was just a few days? That’s good to know.

    It shouldn't last an unreasonable amount of time, but I'd give it up to 2 weeks before worrying. Get back on a consistent calorie deficit and get salt back under control and it should flush out. Remember, it's 3500 calories to a pound of fat, so unless you ate 10,500 calories ABOVE your TDEE on that weekend, it can't be new bodyfat.

    BTW, 10,500 calories is about 5 medium pepperoni pizzas.
  • Danp
    Danp Posts: 1,561 Member
    I like to think of it less as water retention and more of water fluctuation.

    Think of it as the tide. It comes in, it goes out. Sometimes there's a king tide and it comes in more than usual and sometimes there's neap tide and it goes out more than is the norm but generally it ebbs and flows in a normal range.

    The biggest difference is that the causes of the tide (the moon and the sun) effect the tides in a predictable pattern and unfortunately the causes of water fluctuations are more random.
  • rosiorama
    rosiorama Posts: 300 Member
    edited March 2019
    I just gotta react before reading the whole thread. At 36 you are SO YOUNG!! Don’t start making your age an excuse AT YOUR AGE. Are you going to resign yourself to a walker at 50? Seriously!

    This weight management thing is a longterm game. Do you just want to lose the weight for summer and them put it back on when bikini season is over? Or do you want to keep within a happy range year round?

    When you only have a little to lose, progress is maddeningly slow.

    There’s a thread kicking around here about growing old versus aging. You should check out the many inspiring videos of people much much older than you kicking a** at ironmans, weightlifting, trapeze stuff and more. If you want to focus on things other than your ideal weight, fine. Work for it. But don’t ever make your age an excuse, or you’ll get another peptalk from me!

    Gonna read the rest of the thread now. ☺️
  • Sharon_C
    Sharon_C Posts: 2,132 Member
    This is why I don't like deadlines for fat loss. Especially when you want to lose so little.

    You'll have to be extremely vigilant on your diet--weighing your food so you're absolutely certain you're eating at your calorie goal. When you have so little to lose, even a slight slip up can derail you for the week.

    And you didn't gain 3lbs of fat over vacation. It will eventually go away.
  • Phirrgus
    Phirrgus Posts: 1,894 Member

    You are underestimating the effect of too much sodium and water has on your bodyweight. People go on vacation all the time and come back thinking they've gained 5lbs or 8lbs or whatever. In reality, they've eaten foods that are bloating, either because they are high in salt or carbs. It takes a couple of weeks of normal eating for that to "flush" out of your system.

    If you want to help it, dial down your carbs for a couple of days and your body will start using its glycogen stores in your muscles more quickly. As those are used, the water being retained in the muscle is released. This is actually how bodybuilders prepare to be the leanest they can on competition days. They go low carb right before a competition so that they can flush as much water out of their muscles as possible. They time to the actual hour of the meet if they can.

    If you keep your carbs lowered, then you can retain the lean look longer, but as soon as you revert back to normal levels, you'll pick up some water weight again. In your case, your normal level is how you looked before your vacation, which should be fine for you.

    Stick with CICO. Be honest an accurate with your logging. Maybe increase your TDEE deficit a little bit if there is room for that. Get back out walking/hiking again. Maybe eat more fruit/veggies to get your carbs, rather than rice/pasta/etc.

    Thank you for this info, I did not realize that water retention could last so long. I guess I always thought it was just a few days? That’s good to know.

    It's up and down - so much food has sodium in it, especially store bought prepared meals, so it's going to be ongoing, which is ok as long as you're not just giving up and packing weight on month after month.

    Me...depending on fluctuations, I can be anywhere from 3lbs to 7 or so lbs from my goal on any given day. It is annoying, but don't sweat it. Keep on doing the right things.
  • lillyblack1982
    lillyblack1982 Posts: 63 Member
    rosiorama wrote: »
    I just gotta react before reading the whole thread. At 36 you are SO YOUNG!! Don’t start making your age an excuse AT YOUR AGE. Are you going to resign yourself to a walker at 50? Seriously!

    This weight management thing is a longterm game. Do you just want to lose the weight for summer and them put it back on when bikini season is over? Or do you want to keep within a happy range year round?

    When you only have a little to lose, progress is maddeningly slow.

    There’s a thread kicking around here about growing old versus aging. You should check out the many inspiring videos of people much much older than you kicking a** at ironmans, weightlifting, trapeze stuff and more. If you want to focus on things other than your ideal weight, fine. Work for it. But don’t ever make your age an excuse, or you’ll get another peptalk from me!

    Gonna read the rest of the thread now. ☺️

    I mean, I don’t know if you read the part about where I walk 22 miles a week with my dog, but no—a walker’s not in my future unless it’s unavoidable. I love to hike, I typically go every weekend and I really enjoy myself. I enjoy being active. I just don’t particularly enjoy going to the gym. And at 36, some things are starting to move downward that are out of my control. I have a feeling some of those downward-moving things will actually worsen with weight loss, but you know. That’s life!

    I know I can maintain my current weight, which is healthy, for the rest of my life. I’ve never been overweight, just always chubbier than I would like to be. It’s losing the 10 pounds that hides my abs and pads my thighs that I question if I have the dedication to do. I’ve done it before, I’ve been down to 118 as a grown-*kitten* adult but I couldn’t maintain that for long. I feel like 125 is a more realistic goal but it still feels like a struggle to lose each and every pound.

    I will see if I can search up the thread you mentioned.
  • Thelazyegg
    Thelazyegg Posts: 8 Member
    Hi, I don’t have any advice to give but I’m in the same boat. In my 30s, maintained my ideal weight without trying up to this point but it’s crept on.I don’t have a lot to lose (I’m 129lb, I’d be happy to get down to 120), but progress is so slow it’s practically non existent. I guess we just need to grit our teeth and keep pushing forward.
  • Dilvish
    Dilvish Posts: 398 Member
    Weights. At your age if you start adding weight bearing or resistance exercises 3-4 times a week the muscles will tone up and the flab will go down.

    There are tons of at home exercises you can do so you need not go to a gym. Just do some searching on the internet. Also, you could pick up a set of new or used (lots of them online) weights and again do it at home.

    If you continue to think that losing weight will increase your "slide" think again. At your age you have plenty of bounce left! Toning is much different from building muscle mass. I think for you it's something to focus on.

    Keep hiking/walking just add weights/resistance every other day and you'll likely see quick results.
  • JohnnytotheB
    JohnnytotheB Posts: 361 Member
    If you are as active as you suggest, only tweaks to your diet are needed. Do you log your food? If no, start today. Be honest with yourself while logging as well. Run the numbers on the site to get what your calories needed are to attain your goal and cut where you need to cut (food wise). Continue to do what you do from an activity standpoint. You will (probably) in 3 weeks lose what you need. I look at your situation and say, "this one is easy!!". BTW, never accept that you are getting older and flab on - that failure talk.