My New Normal
NovusDies
Posts: 8,940 Member
Somewhere along the line it stopped being a question of whether or not I will get to a healthier weight and became a certainty. The only thing that I am occasionally worried about anymore is that I am not worried. Things that might have thrown me in the past don't phase me now. For instance, I honestly do not care if I eat a stupidly high number of calories in a day unless it makes me feel bad physically. If I need a day like that occasionally I will just do it because I don't believe that when I get to the end I am going to care that I could have gotten there a little faster.
I was scared at the beginning. Like many people I have failed SO many times. I kept it a secret like I am sure some of you have done or are doing because if I failed I didn't want anyone to know I was trying.
I like what I am doing and I can't imagine what it would take for me to stop which I sometimes find a little concerning with so much fail in my past. I think it is probably a good thing. Feeling 100 percent confident all the time might keep me from learning something new I need to know as I continue to move forward.
I am a very private person and I do not like sharing my personal info online but I am considering it when I hit my 1 year anniversary. I am kind of shocked at how much weight I have lost already. Hint: It is over 100 lbs.
tl;dr I kept going and at some point in the last 11 months this became my new normal.
I was scared at the beginning. Like many people I have failed SO many times. I kept it a secret like I am sure some of you have done or are doing because if I failed I didn't want anyone to know I was trying.
I like what I am doing and I can't imagine what it would take for me to stop which I sometimes find a little concerning with so much fail in my past. I think it is probably a good thing. Feeling 100 percent confident all the time might keep me from learning something new I need to know as I continue to move forward.
I am a very private person and I do not like sharing my personal info online but I am considering it when I hit my 1 year anniversary. I am kind of shocked at how much weight I have lost already. Hint: It is over 100 lbs.
tl;dr I kept going and at some point in the last 11 months this became my new normal.
80
Replies
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Yay, you!!2
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That is an excellent way of describing this.4
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You've done kind of ok at this thing
Seriously, well done! I hear you on the 100% confident thing. I will never be on auto-pilot again, but that's ok6 -
That's a great positive attitude and way to look at things! Congratulations on all you've accomplished!
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Great post and thanks for sharing it. Also congrats on such great weight loss.
Although I am excellent at losing weight (many times), I have very much struggled with maintenance. I don't freak out if I go over for a day or even a week. I'm not worried if I have a piece of cake or a cheeseburger. But being in a deficit, once again, I am worried about maintenance. As a matter of fact, I am planning many maintenance periods during this deficit phase. I actually have one coming up soon. I am a bit worried for sure. But I will continue to weigh my food and log my food. I will weigh myself in the morning and I will continue to read the MFP boards. I will stay on track.
Hopefully one day I can trust myself in this endeavor the same way that you trust yourself. 🙂3 -
So happy for you! I understand exactly what you’re saying 3
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absolutely.
i had someone tell me once that i was doing it wrong cause i am almost always over on my calories. my deficit is enough that i CAN be. so i eat 1400 instead of 1200. big freaking deal. its still 300 under my maintenance. even if im OVER maintenance i dont care. enough under, it all evens out.
of course, this was from someone who routinely ate UNDER 900 calories (not weighed terribly accurately i might add). I then deleted her. and thought carbs were the devil.
130 pounds down and I kinda think i know what im doing at this point. 10 -
Not to rain on your parade, but...
From early 2014 to mid-May 2015, I knew I had it. I was rocking and rolling, dropping from 375 to 207. I was more active, there was no real restriction or sacrifice. I liked what I was eating, what I was doing, how I looked and felt.
Then, for no perceivable reason, I stopped tracking accurately, I ate more than I needed, etc. And I was aware of it. There was a lot of self-talk. It didn't matter than I 100% knew I had it.
Despite several fits and starts, I was seemingly incapable of halting the backslide. By the time I actually managed to recommit, in September 2018, I had gotten back up to 331.6 lbs.
Now, it's going well, I am back down to 275, despite an intentional 3 week maintenance period that encompassed about 1 week prior to and 2 weeks after Christmas.
But I don't think I will ever tell myself "I have this", at least in regards to my weight, ever again.15 -
nicsflyingcircus wrote: »Not to rain on your parade, but...
From early 2014 to mid-May 2015, I knew I had it. I was rocking and rolling, dropping from 375 to 207. I was more active, there was no real restriction or sacrifice. I liked what I was eating, what I was doing, how I looked and felt.
Then, for no perceivable reason, I stopped tracking accurately, I ate more than I needed, etc. And I was aware of it. There was a lot of self-talk. It didn't matter than I 100% knew I had it.
Despite several fits and starts, I was seemingly incapable of halting the backslide. By the time I actually managed to recommit, in September 2018, I had gotten back up to 331.6 lbs.
Now, it's going well, I am back down to 275, despite an intentional 3 week maintenance period that encompassed about 1 week prior to and 2 weeks after Christmas.
But I don't think I will ever tell myself "I have this", at least in regards to my weight, ever again.
No rain. Your story confirms why I should not be 100 percent confident and to keep questioning, learning, and growing.
I have not had it quite as easy as you describe your 2014-2015 period. While I do not struggle with my WoE (most of the time) I have other weight loss related complications that have, at times, been quite miserable. I try to consider these challenges as reinforcement to my desire to never do this again. I also still feel quite trapped in this overweight body. Not as trapped as when I started but I am only marginally more active and I still get the "thank God I am not that heavy" looks and small child points/stares when I am out in public. I have really good hearing which is not always a blessing too. I shake most of it off but I am human.
I took a 10 day diet break over Thanksgiving. I was miserable. I thought it would be nice to eat more "normally" again but it was not. That is when it dawned on me that it was abnormal for me to eat so much food.
I hope your journey forward never stops this time.
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Alright. You can get out of my head now!!
I couldn't relate to this post more.
- the multiple failed attempts in the past
- the hiding the fact that I was trying again (until it became obvious and undeniable)
- the concern that I'm finding it 'too easy' (compared to the past)
- the healthier 'balanced' relationship to eating where having the occasional pig out is fine and not a reason to spiral and give up
Definitely feel where you're coming from.8 -
In all seriousness, this is awesome! So relatable. And it confirms what I’ve been thinking as I’ve been embarking on this journey. It’s not about the destination. It’s about each step we take toward better health. It won’t be perfect because we’re not perfect. And that’s ok! Well done and well said!2
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You’re a rock star. ⭐️2
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nicsflyingcircus wrote: »Not to rain on your parade, but...
From early 2014 to mid-May 2015, I knew I had it. I was rocking and rolling, dropping from 375 to 207. I was more active, there was no real restriction or sacrifice. I liked what I was eating, what I was doing, how I looked and felt.
Then, for no perceivable reason, I stopped tracking accurately, I ate more than I needed, etc. And I was aware of it. There was a lot of self-talk. It didn't matter than I 100% knew I had it.
Despite several fits and starts, I was seemingly incapable of halting the backslide. By the time I actually managed to recommit, in September 2018, I had gotten back up to 331.6 lbs.
Now, it's going well, I am back down to 275, despite an intentional 3 week maintenance period that encompassed about 1 week prior to and 2 weeks after Christmas.
But I don't think I will ever tell myself "I have this", at least in regards to my weight, ever again.
No rain. Your story confirms why I should not be 100 percent confident and to keep questioning, learning, and growing.
I have not had it quite as easy as you describe your 2014-2015 period. While I do not struggle with my WoE (most of the time) I have other weight loss related complications that have, at times, been quite miserable. I try to consider these challenges as reinforcement to my desire to never do this again. I also still feel quite trapped in this overweight body. Not as trapped as when I started but I am only marginally more active and I still get the "thank God I am not that heavy" looks and small child points/stares when I am out in public. I have really good hearing which is not always a blessing too. I shake most of it off but I am human.
I took a 10 day diet break over Thanksgiving. I was miserable. I thought it would be nice to eat more "normally" again but it was not. That is when it dawned on me that it was abnormal for me to eat so much food.
I hope your journey forward never stops this time.
I hope it doesn't either. I am still quite heavy but can definitely feel the difference. I hope to be under 250 and still losing over the summer. And I was most definitely not trying to be discouraging, just sharing my personal cautionary tale. I think the fact that I was able to maintain over Christmas was encouraging. My extra calories wasn't going crazy, it was mostly alcohol and cookie based, and not ridiculous amounts, just frequent ones.
Best of luck to the both of us!3 -
No doubt your pragmatic approach will enable you to stay the course till you achieve your goal and then...
Maintenance is a New Day!2 -
There is no benefit to worry and be concerned the entire time during weight loss. It is a wasted emotion. But...so is over confidence. Enjoy this period of feeling in control and at ease. It is like motivation..it comes and goes..and when you have it, why not enjoy it.
However, I've been beating myself up..as I lose the weight I gained over the holidays. It is nothing earth shattering.. 8 pounds or so. I lost all my weight last year..and it was so wonderful. Now, here I am, making up for back tracking. So yes.. be thinking about the road ahead..there is so much more to learn... my next leg of my journey is figuring out a maintenance strategy that will work better for me.5 -
nicsflyingcircus wrote: »nicsflyingcircus wrote: »Not to rain on your parade, but...
From early 2014 to mid-May 2015, I knew I had it. I was rocking and rolling, dropping from 375 to 207. I was more active, there was no real restriction or sacrifice. I liked what I was eating, what I was doing, how I looked and felt.
Then, for no perceivable reason, I stopped tracking accurately, I ate more than I needed, etc. And I was aware of it. There was a lot of self-talk. It didn't matter than I 100% knew I had it.
Despite several fits and starts, I was seemingly incapable of halting the backslide. By the time I actually managed to recommit, in September 2018, I had gotten back up to 331.6 lbs.
Now, it's going well, I am back down to 275, despite an intentional 3 week maintenance period that encompassed about 1 week prior to and 2 weeks after Christmas.
But I don't think I will ever tell myself "I have this", at least in regards to my weight, ever again.
No rain. Your story confirms why I should not be 100 percent confident and to keep questioning, learning, and growing.
I have not had it quite as easy as you describe your 2014-2015 period. While I do not struggle with my WoE (most of the time) I have other weight loss related complications that have, at times, been quite miserable. I try to consider these challenges as reinforcement to my desire to never do this again. I also still feel quite trapped in this overweight body. Not as trapped as when I started but I am only marginally more active and I still get the "thank God I am not that heavy" looks and small child points/stares when I am out in public. I have really good hearing which is not always a blessing too. I shake most of it off but I am human.
I took a 10 day diet break over Thanksgiving. I was miserable. I thought it would be nice to eat more "normally" again but it was not. That is when it dawned on me that it was abnormal for me to eat so much food.
I hope your journey forward never stops this time.
I hope it doesn't either. I am still quite heavy but can definitely feel the difference. I hope to be under 250 and still losing over the summer. And I was most definitely not trying to be discouraging, just sharing my personal cautionary tale. I think the fact that I was able to maintain over Christmas was encouraging. My extra calories wasn't going crazy, it was mostly alcohol and cookie based, and not ridiculous amounts, just frequent ones.
Best of luck to the both of us!
You don't really have to worry about discouraging me. I do a decent job of keeping myself off the emotional roller coaster of this process. I try not to dwell on it and just let time pass and my slow march towards a healthier weight just happen. I absolutely refuse to try and figure out how long it is going to take. I know based on my spreadsheet that I will definitely have another full year but I won't be extending it until near the end of my second year.
I said in another thread that I try to keep my focus on doing what is right and let weight loss be a side benefit of the process not my main focus. Today is my focus. What do I need to do to be successful today? If I need incentive for some reason I can just think about the fact that each Sunday is a maintenance day for me and I get a really nice treat meal in a couple of days.
I think the main thing that separates this time from all of my past fails is that I believe this time I figured me out. The mechanics of weight loss are really simple. I eat less than I burn. Managing myself is where I failed and it did take a little creativity to put together a plan that works for me but I think I got it right.8 -
Alright. You can get out of my head now!!
I couldn't relate to this post more.
- the multiple failed attempts in the past
- the hiding the fact that I was trying again (until it became obvious and undeniable)
- the concern that I'm finding it 'too easy' (compared to the past)
- the healthier 'balanced' relationship to eating where having the occasional pig out is fine and not a reason to spiral and give up
Definitely feel where you're coming from.
lol. I really pushed the envelope on denying it. At one point I was blaming the summer heat and I said it was affecting my appetite and that was why I lost a little weight. That wasn't a complete lie because my appetite is kind of wonky during the summer months. The problem is that during the summer I was already down 80ish pounds so everyone argued with me about the "little" part.
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This is SO inspirational - thanks v much for sharing!2
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Great post! :flowerforyou:1
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No more to add to what has already been said. Love your way of sharing what works for YOU.
Do you have a blog? So many of us need all the help we can find. Thanks for the insightful post.0 -
@NovusDies
Massive respect for your attitude and the fact that you kept going until you developed that attitude.
I've seen a lot of people change their bodies over the years, and it takes dedication and work, but reframing the mind...awesome stuff. Keep rocking it 1 -
I definitely think it’s good to remove the worry component from dieting. I still track my food but don’t worry if I miss my goal. I feel like my body gets thinner when I don’t step on the scale. I don’t know when I stopped worrying but I really think it helps.1
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