Hello

I'm not really new, I just haven't introduced myself. I am 42 and have struggled with my weight for about 41 years now - I am 5"9 and my weight's fluctuated my adult life from 237.7 (highest) to 117 (lowest.) In my late 20s I suffered from anorexia - it was awful and I still felt too fat anyway. So, once I was in recovery from that I was so concerned not to fall back into that time, that I ended up at the other extreme. About a year and a half ago, I weighed myself and found myself at the 237.7lbs. I swore that I was not going to be over 240lbs and so I have been working at it. It is so hard, especially because I still could easily stop eating, exercise like a maniac, and drop the weight - but I am scared to fall back into old habits. So, instead I spend a lot of time meal planning and exercising but still try to do it the healthy, and frankly HARD, way! As of right now, I am at 213lbs, so I have lost some - I just don't think it is going fast enough (though that also translates to 2 dress sizes, now a 14). I have tons of goals, but the next big one is in the middle of May: family reunion and I do not want to be the biggest one there, so I would like to drop between 14 to 24 lbs by then - this should be entirely doable. The next goal would then be 175lbs and I would be excited to maintain 165lbs; anything less and I look disproportionate.