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How to tell yourself you aren’t fat anymore

Have been overweight for a number of years and am getting closer to my goal weight. Have lost 75lbs now. How have you adjusted mentally to such a physical change? I still feel like I am heavier. I’m not seeing much change but it’s obviously there as I’m wearing smaller clothes. Did you eventually acclimate to it on your own? Did you need a therapist to help guide you through process?
What can I do help see myself the way other people can see me? I don’t want to go through this and in the end, still think of myself as fat. That is such a limiting and debilitating mindset, at least it has been for me.

Replies

  • JohnBarth
    JohnBarth Posts: 672 Member
    Such an appropriate topic. Having lost a lot of weight and gaining most back a few times definitely makes this a challenge for me as well. I really believe most people think losing is the hardest part. For me, since I haven't mastered the keeping it off, that's where I know I struggle.
  • Cassandraw3
    Cassandraw3 Posts: 1,214 Member
    edited March 2019
    Again, it does take time. Pictures can help, especially side by side comparisons. When I got to my lowest size, I remember the first time I picked up that size I thought there was no way it could fit/I was that small. Took them to the dressing room and tried them on and they fit perfectly! Even when I fluctuated 10-15 lbs (up and down) in college, I never saw much difference in my head. Sure there was a difference in how my clothes fit, but I had a hard time seeing it. I would say it took several months for me once I got to my lowest range before I saw it in the mirror.
  • ExistingFish
    ExistingFish Posts: 1,189 Member
    Oh yes, and clothes shopping. I still picked up smalls and mediums when going swimsuit shopping a couple of weeks ago. The small fit perfectly and I could really use an XS in the bottoms, yet I still picked up a medium "just in case".
  • RelCanonical
    RelCanonical Posts: 3,883 Member
    Exactly what @spiriteagle99 says. All of it.

    From “my” angle, I still see a big soft belly sticking out over thick thighs that still flatten out when I sit. It’s not til I look at old photographs that I realize my body has gotten very proportionately smaller.

    Sunday I went through the summer clothes I packed away last November, and they were falling off me. My husband took a photo of me wearing one of the skirts and holding the waistband out to “here” and I keep it on my phone now to remind me how far I’ve come.

    It is difficult to wrap your head around. My trainer sends me photos after every session so I can see how muscular my arms are, and I’m very grateful she insists on doing that, although it always embarrasses me in front of the “real lifters”when she does, even though I noticed yesterday I’m doing more weight on the machines than some of the guys do, which surprised me.

    Why do our heads punish us like this? It’s very puzzling.

    I go through your first sentence a lot too. I mentioned in another thread how I wish I had taken progress photos from the POV of looking down at myself so I could see just how much I had lost there. When I look in a mirror, I can see the difference, but looking down at myself doesn't have the same impact. It feels like I haven't lost much, when I've lost almost 40lbs.
  • run2live75
    run2live75 Posts: 10 Member
    I was told once that we aren't fat.. we have fat on our bodies... there is a difference. Saying we are fat defines us who we are a person- and that isn't true. What is your definition of yourself? Who truly are you? It is a truly mental state... It is hard to change and visualize the change that everyone sees, but with a change in mindset I believe it is totally obtainable.
  • jan110144
    jan110144 Posts: 1,166 Member
    I am getting there. At goal for 2 months now. The first time I actually though of myself as "thin" was pretty shocking. When someone referred to me as "petite", I actually laughed at the thought. The real solidified, though, was having to replace my entire wardrobe. I looked in the mirror so many times trying on clothes that the new reality sink in (particularly since I continually picked a too large size to try on first.)

    It still feels a bit weird, but in a good way :smile:
  • kayfaei
    kayfaei Posts: 252 Member
    I have a long way to go still. In 2017 I actually lost 100lbs but gained 70 of it back. Started back in Feb of 2019. I'm so ready this time around to completely reach my goal and then keep everything off.

    This all makes me think though once that day comes, going to therapy wouldn't be such a bad idea. Thank you guys for putting all of your experiences
  • rickiimarieee
    rickiimarieee Posts: 2,212 Member
    I think for me after I lost my weight, it was just more of a mental struggle. Kinda like body dismorphia. I dropped 40 pounds and got to my goal weight and still seen myself as fat. Just got use to what I seen in the mirror at the beginning that that's all I seen even after I lost the weight. Don't really have any advice on how to see yourself differently but just to accept yourself and know that you have changed and you have dropped the weight.
  • Stellamom2018
    Stellamom2018 Posts: 118 Member
    I agree with all of your thoughts. I'm down 60lbs, started in a size XL and 16 pants, I am currently in smalls and size 4. I dont see it everyday, but clothes shopping definitely helps, I took a dressing room selfie and literally didnt recognize myself. I think it's just going to take time! I'm not really sure. I'm also trying to be in front of the camera more instead of behind it.