Fat shaming rant... why don't we teach our children better.

squidgybunny_276
squidgybunny_276 Posts: 25 Member
edited March 2019 in Motivation and Support
I'm just writing this as I really need to get it out. I'm sure lots of you on this forum have had similar experiences but i just wonder how, with such great steps we've taken in our society to cultivate respect for women how much has slipped thorugh the gaps.

I'm currently on holiday in Australia, and this evening decided to go down and do my yoga practise by the pool. I was wearing a full "sports swimming" style swimsuit with good coverage as its hot here and I wanted to be confortable and go for a swim after. Some youths/young men and women were on a balcony above and started commenting a mixture of things like "I would do that" or "she's obese" or when i got into the pool, "its like a whale". Now 1) I don't know how to deal with behaviour like this, I was not going to let their comments deter me from the exercise i'd planned to but also didn't want to engage them 2) I am 5ft 7 and 140lbs (well within a normal BMI) what kind of unhealthy society do we live in where this is considered obese? 3) even if I was obsese what kind of a mother lets their children growing up think these comments are ok? and 4) can we please stop teaching yoga like it sexualises women, fundamentally it is as far away from this as it can get! ok rant over.

Who has had this kind of experience and what would/did you do?

Replies

  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 8,458 Member
    I’m so sorry you experienced that. I’d chalk it all up to bad upbringing and terrible manners. These kind of folks are everywhere, and at every age. And when kids (well, people in general) are in groups, they feed on one another and say stuff they wouldn’t say in normal circumstances.

    I never ever thought of yoga as sexual. But we have free yoga on our town square once a month during warmer months and now that you mention it, we do have gawkers that will sit on the benches and stare.

    How absolutely pathetic is their life to think that’s entertaining? Water off a ducks downward dog and find it in your heart to feel sorry for them, I guess.
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
    I would have gotten up and stared at them and then asked if their mother was home--you'd like to have a word with her.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I hate that you had to endure that. Very upsetting, but I am sure the kids/youths were acting out as a way to impress one another and show off. It is disgusting & pathetic behavior and I'm sure some of them (not all, sadly) will one day regret it.

    I've experienced similar things myself, at my heaviest and even at my lowest weight. People of all ages can be cruel. Kids can be cruel. I just blew it off. Perhaps the worst I've had was a couple who were at least in their twenties staring and laughing while I was having coffee with a friend. I was at my heaviest but it was very strange, like they had never seen an obese person before. Surely in the U.S., that wasn't the case.

    Another thought - people will always find something to make fun of. When I was very fat, it was usually my weight. Now that I'm of a standard/average size, I've had younger people making fun of me for doing/wearing certain things because I'm "old", or people mocking my voice or laugh. People will always find something.



  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,463 Member
    I'm sorry that happened to you. I would not engage them either. I would just go about my activity. There's really nothing to be done about rude ignorant bystanders. It's just how you deal with it mentally, as you are doing, and not let it stop you from doing what you want.
  • nooshi713
    nooshi713 Posts: 4,877 Member
    Ugh I hate people like that. They have no home training.
  • Kst76
    Kst76 Posts: 935 Member
    Well...adults act the same way so I'm not sure why their kids would behave much better.

    Anyways, you are not even overweight, probably pretty slim so it doesn't make much sense for anybody to call you obese..lol
    My guess is that they were trying to get to you, making you feel bad about yourself.... For whatever reason....Not sure what the motivation were.
  • k8eekins
    k8eekins Posts: 2,264 Member
    edited March 2019
    I'm just writing this as I really need to get it out. I'm sure lots of you on this forum have had similar experiences but i just wonder how, with such great steps we've taken in our society to cultivate respect for women how much has slipped thorugh the gaps.

    I'm currently on holiday in Australia, and this evening decided to go down and do my yoga practise by the pool. I was wearing a full "sports swimming" style swimsuit with good coverage as its hot here and I wanted to be confortable and go for a swim after. Some youths/young men and women were on a balcony above and started commenting a mixture of things like "I would do that" or "she's obese" or when i got into the pool, "its like a whale". Now 1) I don't know how to deal with behaviour like this, I was not going to let their comments deter me from the exercise i'd planned to but also didn't want to engage them 2) I am 5ft 7 and 140lbs (well within a normal BMI) what kind of unhealthy society do we live in where this is considered obese? 3) even if I was obsese what kind of a mother lets their children growing up think these comments are ok? and 4) can we please stop teaching yoga like it sexualises women, fundamentally it is as far away from this as it can get! ok rant over.

    Who has had this kind of experience and what would/did you do?

    This is not surprising. The liberties many take, young or old, to assault anyone they so choose is beyond baffling. Whilst in the islands during one of my semester breaks from the UK, a luxe boutique hotel was hosting an International Pageant/Fashion Show of sorts using the very pool my family and another family were situated for our family dinner. Other guests for the event were on the other side, bar-side, where they'd have the girls walking across some feets high walkway, right across the pool. As we were busy playing like sprites in the water for it was massive (me, my sister, our brother, his BFF and his BFF's younger brothers), the compere, eventually said something like "I would be too self-conscious to be swimming about with other women in their swimsuits around and men looking on." As a teen, and at that very moment, I immediately realised that the issue is never self-inherent but is superficially inserted to encourage insecurities, primarily theirs upon anyone else. If she'd said that, and the girls weren't us (me and my sister @777Gemma888), the depth of damage from her one-liner would last years. I couldn't stop laughing and that woman-compere was immediately "disciplined" by her co-host. We grew up in a school environment where walking about in our bikinis throughout lunchtime, to the school tuck shop and to the school pools facility even after school hours was our norm, in a co-ed environment. My point to you is, drawing attention to themselves - in numbers to quantify their false senses of worth, at your expense, is a tell of their multiple glitches, I'll not expand on.

    With political correctness , liberties of the uncouth variety are borne to empower slanderers - their revolt to common decency, polite manners and civility, lacking decorum.

    ETA: I wasn't heavy either, on the contrary. I was modeling in London at the time.
  • Bex953172
    Bex953172 Posts: 4,159 Member
    So i was reading this and reading your points, and then i got to the bit eh3en youre 5'7 and 140lbs, then i was just shocked! Im same height and 180ish? 140 is my GOAL weight!!!
    I think its awful to go through that even when you know your self youre not over weight.

    Im pretty hot headed so i would of reacted, but i suppose it wouldnt change anything.

    I honestly dont know why people do it, jealousy? Boredom? General twats? Bullys?

    Id love to do yoga though, the sexualisation puts me off doing it out of the comfort of my own home though, i wouldnt even go to a class!
  • squidgybunny_276
    squidgybunny_276 Posts: 25 Member
    Thank-you all to take the time to write. I'm on Australian time here and woke this morning feeling a little out of sorts over the whole thing. Reading your messages has really made a difference. I'm sorry to hear from those of you who have experienced the similar situations. I guess your right it must just a general that, bravado alcohol fueled boredom kind of thing.
  • squidgybunny_276
    squidgybunny_276 Posts: 25 Member
    I hate that you had to endure that. Very upsetting, but I am sure the kids/youths were acting out as a way to impress one another and show off. It is disgusting & pathetic behavior and I'm sure some of them (not all, sadly) will one day regret it.

    I've experienced similar things myself, at my heaviest and even at my lowest weight. People of all ages can be cruel. Kids can be cruel. I just blew it off. Perhaps the worst I've had was a couple who were at least in their twenties staring and laughing while I was having coffee with a friend. I was at my heaviest but it was very strange, like they had never seen an obese person before. Surely in the U.S., that wasn't the case.

    Another thought - people will always find something to make fun of. When I was very fat, it was usually my weight. Now that I'm of a standard/average size, I've had younger people making fun of me for doing/wearing certain things because I'm "old", or people mocking my voice or laugh. People will always find something.



    Yes I think your right. I was in my early 20s underweight and I'm sure then they'd have found something else to mock. I felt pretty bad and also hate to think how this kind of behaviour could effect others too. Your right just blowing it off is the only thing to do.
  • squidgybunny_276
    squidgybunny_276 Posts: 25 Member
    Bex953172 wrote: »
    So i was reading this and reading your points, and then i got to the bit eh3en youre 5'7 and 140lbs, then i was just shocked! Im same height and 180ish? 140 is my GOAL weight!!!
    I think its awful to go through that even when you know your self youre not over weight.

    Im pretty hot headed so i would of reacted, but i suppose it wouldnt change anything.

    I honestly dont know why people do it, jealousy? Boredom? General twats? Bullys?

    Id love to do yoga though, the sexualisation puts me off doing it out of the comfort of my own home though, i wouldnt even go to a class!

    It's difficult to rationalise, i'm a number person and the numbers tell me i'm all good (another 20lbs lighter and I don't think im at my healthiest so logically 140 seems like not a bad place to sit). It does make one second guess a bit though. Don't let that kind of thing put you off a yoga class, its very different in the studio (or at least the ones where I practise) as everyone is there for the same thing, has an inner awareness of the reasons why they are there to practise, i.e relaxation, getting more in tune with their bodies etc so no one is really looking at anyone else. I'd sure like to a greater variety of body shapes depicted in the general yoga "scene", especially advertising, though.