How do I know when self-care becomes self-harm?

In addition to talking to someone, please increase your calories and slow down your rate of loss.

You are creating a very large deficit right now as evidenced by the more than 1.5lb per week rate of loss you are showing over six months.

Increasing your calories to an actual 1500 ought to slow your losses substantially and bring them more in line with a deficit suitable for someone who may no longer be carrying as many energy reserves as she used to.

A diet break would also definitely be something to consider after six months of rapid losses. There is a thread on refeeds and diet breaks.

Your reactions and ability to bring yourself to do some of these things and your thinking around them will also tell you how urgently you should be pushing to talk to someone.

Take care!

I think it is good that you are self-aware enough to recognize a troubling pattern. Now you need to follow up on that and seek professional help. Maybe you are over the edge or maybe you just need help backing away from it... I don't know but that is what they are there for.

Oh man, hugs, hon. It does sound like your body is under a lot of stress, including physical with what you describe as your food.


But all that said, I just wanted to add one thing re: becoming super sensitive to scents and such. While there can obviously be a lot of reasons for this, one that is possible is the physical stress setting off certain diseases or disorders that can cause this type of thing. Or even nutrient deficiencies that can be an issue but cause this.

I would just give two examples in my own life, in case they are relevant and eating more doesn't make things improve.

1. Mast cell activation disorder - with this, the mast cells, which among other things are involved in allergic reactions, start reacting to things they should not, or to react more than they should. Stressors like certain illnesses, pregnancy, severe injury, high stress, lack of food, etc... can sometimes trigger this. Although typically, from what I've seen, it is usually present but just really, really low level, so much so that one wouldn't really notice, and then the stressor happens and bam, things go crazy.

One thing many people with this have an issue with is becoming 'super sensitive' to things, including scents. It's not actually super sensitive, though, it's just that something triggered the mast cells and now they are treating ordinary, every day things as though they are allergens - symptoms can be typical allergy symptoms, or they can be pain, brain fog, headaches, gut issues, etc...

scents, temperatures, actual stress or strong emotions, foods, even low blood sugar and lack of sleep can become triggers to a reaction.

Unfortunately, regular doctors truly know pretty much nothing about this, as it is somewhat rare. Well, don't know much except potentially that 'people with mast cell disorders have anaphylaxis all the time,' which is outdated and wrong for a lot of us. But there are support groups online that can be explored and they can give recommendations for doctors in your area, if you wish to be tested.


2. low molybdenum - this is an essential trace mineral. It hasn't been studied much, to the point that we don't actually know what the minimum needed amount of this mineral even IS. Most people get this as a matter of just eating food, but if you have a very limited diet, it IS possible to not get enough of this.

Doctors do know that you require this mineral to live. One very important use of this is to make a specific enzyme that is used in the sulfuration pathway. Basically, what your body does to break down anything with sulfur so you can use it, and it doesn't hurt you. So sulfur, sulfites, sulfas, etc... If you don't have enough of it, you start having problems with sulfur-based items, inhaled, eaten, etc...

The reason this could apply is because sulfites are one of the most common preservatives for man-made scents. Most perfumes, shampoos, after shaves, aromatherapy stuff, candles, etc... - a LOT of it has sulfites as part of it. So if you have problems processing sulfites, scents will be an issue.

3. Also, a sensitivity to sulfites is one of the top 10 most common sensitivities, and like allergies, it can develop at any time, so it, too, can be something to look at even if molybdenum is fine - sulfites are in a lot of foods and products, so the reactions can hit you from all sides, it feels like.


I don't know that any of these are your issues, but I just pass this along in case it helps. Mostly because when i first started getting sick, I had doctors tell me all sorts of things might be the cause, typically things that had no treatment and nothing you could do. it turned out there was something else involved, and it was something I could take care of and feel better. I always wished someone had known early on so I didn't have to go through years of being ill, you know?