In a funk (quit drinking, still single :( blues)

cherdan · August 2011

I joined MFP a year ago and have lost about 50 lbs over that time. It was fast, at first (I was doing 40 miles a day on my stationary bike, usually 5 days a week), then slow as I burned out on my intense workout regimen and slowed down.
About 2 months ago, I quit drinking completely, which had become a real issue in my life, especially when it came to my weight loss. I vowed to stay off alcohol, at least until I lost another 20 lbs and it wouldn't hinder my progress.
Back when I drank, I would always factor it in with my cals, because I was a binge drinker and didn't measure my drinks (just poured spirits to my liking). I would eat around 1,200 cals a day, sometimes even less, because I drank so much and still wanted to lose weight. However, late at night I would get terrible munchies and would always binge on snacks, and eat sometimes half of the next day's cals at night. smh.
Anyway, about a month ago I reached a personal milestone of asking to hear my weight at the doctor's for the first time in YEARS, and I was quite alright with it. However, I'm not happy with it by any means, as always had a certain number in my mind for my height.
My issue is, I've been at a plateau where I've been strictly maintaining, never gaining, but not losing. It's funny in that I find, since I've quit drinking, I've been eating a lot more. Whereas before when my daily cal goal of 1,500 seemed like SO much food, now I've been quite regularly eating 1,700-2,000 a day. 2,000 seems like a HUGE number, even though it's just maintenance.
A lot of big things happened to me in the last 2 months: I moved out of my destructive living situation (which was, largely, what fueled my drinking), and met someone. He cooked for me all the time and would always be complimenting me on my body, so I guess I got more comfortable, and less focused on losing weight, finding someone, etc, as those two have always been tied together for me.
Now things went sour and we're uncomfortably platonic "friends." I have sunk into a depression and have been binging at night more, etc., but I still monitor all my cals so I haven't been gaining. But I haven't been losing.
Can anyone understand where I'm coming from? Anyone else find you eat MORE after you quit drinking? How do I get through this funk? I'm comfortable with my weight but I don't think I'm at my best yet. How do I get motivated again? Those 50 lbs seemed so easy in comparison to these last 20.

cherdan · August 2011

..wow, nothing, eh? Think that about says it all. Ha

girlinahat · August 2011

sounds like you have replaced one boredom/addiction with another, and need to treat it like that.

Can you work on eating more during the day (more filling things, for me this would be high protein and good fats) to prevent yourself eating at night? if you are binging at night it sounds like you are not getting enough food and your body is saying 'hold on a minute, I haven't been FED!'. I think plenty of studies have shown that too little food (for example skipping breakfast) can lead to eating too much in one sitting - this is after all a tactic sumo wrestlers use to put on weight.

It's good that you haven't been gaining doing this, but is unlikely to be good for your body. Can you add in some more exercise or at least different forms of exercise?

A second issue to your 'addiction' is your living situation. Are you still in the same house as your platonic-was-lover? I find that if I am uncomfortable with my living situation then I can do self-destructive things. Can you find somewhere else to live? Or, can you spend more time in more comfortable situation (such as with friends) to counteract this. I live in a shared house, and find that if I do nto feel 'safe' (by safe I mean comfortable) with my flatmates, then I get depressed. The one place you need security is in your home environment.

does any of this help?

Ludachris313 · August 2011

Dont beat yourself up. It's human nature that the first time you give up something that you are used to doing out of habit, your mind and body want to replace it with another habit, case in point, no drinking but more food. TONS of people try to stop habits that could potentially be harmful to them, in end up gaining weight because, as we all know, overconsuming food is the number one and easiest habit to gain. My advice is to find another habit to do instead of drinking AND overeating.

When I played football in college, all I wanted to do on my days off was to drink with friends. During season however; that was not an option. So i began to hang out with people out of my normal comfort zones who had different interest than me. Whether it was friends who like to go to open mike nights, friends who like to have "dry" parties where they had fun things like wii/kinect (very fun even IF you are sober), or friends who like to have movie nights. Taking your mind to a place where you are so engaged that drinking isn't even a thought really could help you kick the habit with a positive substitution.

As far as motivation/jump starting again, I will have to say that the best advice for that is diversity. Bike one day. Treadmill the other. Go to the mall and use the stairs. Walking a pet, Cleaning a major part of the house you've been avoiding. Exercise is all around us, we just dont think about it. By always keeping your body guessing, you will shock your metabolism causes weight to FALL OFF! :-) I read an article once that said one spicy meal every now and then also confuses your metabolism, and honestly it really does work, well, at it has for me.

Hope some of this help, I felt bad that you didnt get a response so I wanted to help. Hope I Did!!!!

kyle4jem · August 2011

I'm not a psychologist, but I think you need to get yourself in a better place emotionally before you start worrying about your weight, how much you’re eating or exercising.

Mind you, exercise can help produce endorphins which is the happy hormone so maybe going out for a long walk in the countryside or along the coast to wash away the cobwebs. Or find somebody professionally to talk to.

Once you’re happy in yourself, you’ll find it easier to stick to a balanced diet and exercise plan.
:flowerforyou:

In a funk (quit drinking, still single :( blues)

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