Help me break the cycle!
isaott
Posts: 28 Member
Hi there!
I've started using MFP six years ago, got within 200 grams of my goal weight and then lost it. I am so angry at myself for falling off the wagon!
I had lost 24 kg, then put 5 back on, then put another 4 back on. I managed to hold my weight steady at these 9 kg above target, but I really want to get back down to target or at the very least, lose these 4 that are most annoying me. How can it be so difficult? I've done it before, why can't I do it again?
I keep losing the same kg over and over and over again. I am good for three days, then get tempted, something bad happens or something good happens, so I eat or drink something to make myself feel better or reward myself. (Been through a lot of change recently, things are now starting to settle down, but I seem to be stuck with bad habits.)
I need help to break this cycle! Give me your best tips to start and maintain new habits for more than three days at a time, please. I am so fed up with losing the same kilo again and again.
TIA
I've started using MFP six years ago, got within 200 grams of my goal weight and then lost it. I am so angry at myself for falling off the wagon!
I had lost 24 kg, then put 5 back on, then put another 4 back on. I managed to hold my weight steady at these 9 kg above target, but I really want to get back down to target or at the very least, lose these 4 that are most annoying me. How can it be so difficult? I've done it before, why can't I do it again?
I keep losing the same kg over and over and over again. I am good for three days, then get tempted, something bad happens or something good happens, so I eat or drink something to make myself feel better or reward myself. (Been through a lot of change recently, things are now starting to settle down, but I seem to be stuck with bad habits.)
I need help to break this cycle! Give me your best tips to start and maintain new habits for more than three days at a time, please. I am so fed up with losing the same kilo again and again.
TIA
0
Replies
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I think working on your relationship with food first might be a good idea before you attempt to lose again.
What do you mean by "I am good for three days and then get tempted" are you unnecessarily cutting out things you enjoy because you think they are unhealthy?
A healthy diet is about balance, as long as you get in the recommended amount of Protein, Fat, Vitamins & Minerals then you can include other not so nutrient dense foods.1 -
I'm not really cutting anything out but I will not have treats in the house, as I cannot have them in moderation. If there is a bag of chocolates in the house, I will eat the whole bag. I can't stop after one. Same holds true for alcohol. I can't just have a glass of wine with dinner, I have to finish the bottle.
So I don't buy these things so they don't tempt me. That normally works for about three days at a time, but then I go out with friends, have a couple of pints and then the inevitable bags of crisps with it. Everything that happens I take as an excuse to eat/drink. I find it very difficult to disconnect stuff happening from eating/drinking.
I know you're right. I'm just not sure how to go about that. I have always been an emotional eater and this has only gotten worse over the last months (relationship breakup, several house moves, etc.).
Do you have any tips on how to fix my relationship with food?
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I'm not really cutting anything out but I will not have treats in the house, as I cannot have them in moderation. If there is a bag of chocolates in the house, I will eat the whole bag. I can't stop after one. Same holds true for alcohol. I can't just have a glass of wine with dinner, I have to finish the bottle.
So I don't buy these things so they don't tempt me. That normally works for about three days at a time, but then I go out with friends, have a couple of pints and then the inevitable bags of crisps with it. Everything that happens I take as an excuse to eat/drink. I find it very difficult to disconnect stuff happening from eating/drinking.
I know you're right. I'm just not sure how to go about that. I have always been an emotional eater and this has only gotten worse over the last months (relationship breakup, several house moves, etc.).
Do you have any tips on how to fix my relationship with food?
does 'a couple of pints and a bag of crisps' not fit into your weekly calorie goal?1 -
TavistockToad wrote: »
does 'a couple of pints and a bag of crisps' not fit into your weekly calorie goal?
It does, but not daily.
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TavistockToad wrote: »
does 'a couple of pints and a bag of crisps' not fit into your weekly calorie goal?
It does, but not daily.
it feels like there is a fairly easy solution for that, if you're willing to make the change?0 -
TavistockToad wrote: »
it feels like there is a fairly easy solution for that, if you're willing to make the change?
And what would that be?
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I'm not really cutting anything out but I will not have treats in the house, as I cannot have them in moderation. If there is a bag of chocolates in the house, I will eat the whole bag. I can't stop after one. Same holds true for alcohol. I can't just have a glass of wine with dinner, I have to finish the bottle.
So I don't buy these things so they don't tempt me. That normally works for about three days at a time, but then I go out with friends, have a couple of pints and then the inevitable bags of crisps with it. Everything that happens I take as an excuse to eat/drink. I find it very difficult to disconnect stuff happening from eating/drinking.
I know you're right. I'm just not sure how to go about that. I have always been an emotional eater and this has only gotten worse over the last months (relationship breakup, several house moves, etc.).
Do you have any tips on how to fix my relationship with food?
Why not buy a small bar of chocolate rather than a bag and plan it into your day or a small bottle of wine rather than a large one?
Seconding @TavistockToad on can you not fit a couple of pints into your weekly calorie goal? Perhaps set a less aggressive rate of loss and take it slower.
Find other methods of dealing with emotions - exercise, meditation, fidget toys, reading, breathing exercises, etc. If things are really overwhelming perhaps consider some counselling or cognitive behaviour therapy.
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TavistockToad wrote: »
it feels like there is a fairly easy solution for that, if you're willing to make the change?
And what would that be?
don't do it daily...1 -
TavistockToad wrote: »
don't do it daily...
Geeeee, now if only I could have thought of that. Seriously, I know in theory it is all very simple. Turns out, my reality makes it a whole lot more difficult than it sounds on paper.
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tinkerbellang83 wrote: »
Why not buy a small bar of chocolate rather than a bag and plan it into your day or a small bottle of wine rather than a large one?
Seconding @TavistockToad on can you not fit a couple of pints into your weekly calorie goal? Perhaps set a less aggressive rate of loss and take it slower.
Find other methods of dealing with emotions - exercise, meditation, fidget toys, reading, breathing exercises, etc. If things are really overwhelming perhaps consider some counselling or cognitive behaviour therapy.
Thank you0 -
TavistockToad wrote: »
don't do it daily...
Geeeee, now if only I could have thought of that. Seriously, I know in theory it is all very simple. Turns out, my reality makes it a whole lot more difficult than it sounds on paper.
If you can't not drink daily realistically - that might be another problem you need to consider, particularly if it's as a response to dealing with stress.0 -
tinkerbellang83 wrote: »If you can't not drink daily realistically - that might be another problem you need to consider, particularly if it's as a response to dealing with stress.
I can. For about three days. Then I fall off the wagon again.
I am looking for help to break this cycle.0 -
tinkerbellang83 wrote: »If you can't not drink daily realistically - that might be another problem you need to consider, particularly if it's as a response to dealing with stress.
I can. For about three days. Then I fall off the wagon again.
I am looking for help to break this cycle.
Then that's a bigger problem, you need to get under control.
I take it as you mentioned crisps rather than chips you're in the UK? Maybe check out the NHS link https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/alcohol-support/
I know a lot of people think of alcoholism as the guys you see on park benches, bladdered on a paper-covered bottle of vodka. But alcohol problems can also include using it as a crutch when you are depressed/anxious.
It might not be the case for you, but if it is you will want to nip it in the bud sooner rather than later.2 -
tinkerbellang83 wrote: »
Then that's a bigger problem, you need to get under control.
I take it as you mentioned crisps rather than chips you're in the UK? Maybe check out the NHS link https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/alcohol-support/
I know a lot of people think of alcoholism as the guys you see on park benches, bladdered on a paper-covered bottle of vodka. But alcohol problems can also include using it as a crutch when you are depressed/anxious.
It might not be the case for you, but if it is you will want to nip it in the bud sooner rather than later.
Thanks. Yes, I am in the UK. I think my problem is not/not mostly alcohol related.
What I struggle with is moderation. For food and drinks. I definitely use both as a crutch, and I would like to learn to stop that.
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It all came together for me when I quit drinking alcohol. Just saying.
Or maybe have a look at plan B. Have you tried full on calorie counting? That’s food diary, food scale, planning your week, problem solving, modest rate of loss, in it for the long term. Have you tried something like that? Sounds like your trips to the pub come in at about 500 calories each. Can you make those fit in a plan? Start crunching numbers.
The answer for me was no, I couldn’t make it work. Sort of got to the point where I had to choose between food or beer. I picked food. Came as a surprise.
Or even plan C. There was a guy in our crowd, Mike. A couple of times Mike went “in training.” We gave him a hard time about it but he did it. 6 weeks at a time I think. No drinking. Regular workouts. Or can you tell your friends that you’re only available for the pub on Friday? That would be a lot more manageable. Don’t get in this thinking you’re going to get any support. Likely they will try to throw you off plan. But stay the course. Its an experiment.
Don’t get in the mindset of trying to lose 8 lbs in those 6 weeks. Maybe you will maybe you won’t. It’s an experiment in living and what the results are. And then figure out what to do next.1 -
TavistockToad wrote: »
don't do it daily...
Geeeee, now if only I could have thought of that. Seriously, I know in theory it is all very simple. Turns out, my reality makes it a whole lot more difficult than it sounds on paper.
i read your OP as 'i stick to my plan for 3 days then a couple of drinks derails it completely...'
so if those couple of drinks fit in your weekly plan then nothing is derailed - just go back to the plan the following day.
if you actually drink daily and it is causing you to go over your weekly calorie goal, then that is the problem. and really the only way to fix that is to drink less... finding a support group might help?0 -
The only person that can help you is YOU!!!!!!!! Yes, this site can offer support. It is up to you to make the healthy choices and get moving.0
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I think my problem is not/not mostly alcohol related.
What I struggle with is moderation.
For food and drinks. I definitely use both as a crutch, and I would like to learn to stop that.0 -
I struggle with moderation. pre logging and allowing myself foods i love daily in moderation and fit in bigger splurges weekly/monthly (weekends are easier as I snack less so i can put those calorie to something else) helps.
I also buy less. so don't keep the house stocked with beer making it easy to have many each night. Maybe buy 4 if that is what you can fit in weekly, weekly.
if you can "last" 3 days then splurge on day 4, maybe have one beer/small quantity of food every 2-3 days to head off the splurging. again keep one easy to get to the others at the store or warm somewhere at the other end of the house. ditto chips, buy snack bags.
eventually once the habit develops you can probably go back to full bags and normal quantity of beer in the house. personally i found the first few months I needed to be more careful about what was in the house.1 -
I struggle with moderation. pre logging and allowing myself foods i love daily in moderation and fit in bigger splurges weekly/monthly (weekends are easier as I snack less so i can put those calorie to something else) helps.
I also buy less. so don't keep the house stocked with beer making it easy to have many each night. Maybe buy 4 if that is what you can fit in weekly, weekly.
if you can "last" 3 days then splurge on day 4, maybe have one beer/small quantity of food every 2-3 days to head off the splurging. again keep one easy to get to the others at the store or warm somewhere at the other end of the house. ditto chips, buy snack bags.
eventually once the habit develops you can probably go back to full bags and normal quantity of beer in the house. personally i found the first few months I needed to be more careful about what was in the house.
Thank you! Not having "naughty" things in the house definitely helps me, just a shame I live so close to the supermarkets!
I've also started pre-logging the whole week so I know what I am eating/drinking when. Trouble with the splurges at the moment is that they wipe out all the effort from the previous days, hence I keep losing the same kilo and wonder what the point of all of it is. I'm trying to work on keeping the splurges to one day a week, but really struggling with any kind of consistently sticking to the plan right now.0 -
what rate of loss did you select?0
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Moderation? Raises an interesting point. Inability to practice moderation is the essence of problem drinking.
That said, there’s also such a thing as failure to accept a few limits. People here get into this whole radical diet on the program off the program trying to beat themselves into strict eating austerity plans. All that’s really needed are a few reasonable limits. That and time.
Life has all sorts of limits that we deal with every day. Storing excess calories as fat is the way our bodies are designed. It’s how we survived when food was scarce. Just how it works. What’s you plan going to be to finding your way to some reasonable limits? As you can see, no one here can give you a magic answer.
I’m a big believer in the food diary. Keep it going no matter what. At first it seemed like a nutty move. But after a few weeks it revealed some very valuable information. Changed a lot of stuff for me.0 -
What if at night you prepare all the food within your goal for the next day. Slice it, bake it, package it. Label it for that specific day. Include 4 oz of wine (measure it) for evening. Pre enter it all into MFP.
Then you can enter the next day deciding when to eat everything you made for the day. Your goal is literally to finish it all!
Also, I love chips. I just have them about two times a week and I pre-weigh one ounce on the food scale so I know I stayed at one serving.1 -
What helped me was upping my calories. I only have a 500 cal/1 pound a week loss. I learned how to fit ice cream into my "diet". I learned one bad day is ok and won't derail me1
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I am in the same boat and totally understand what you are saying. How can something so simple in theory be so difficult to do? It's an awful cycle - you decide you can do this, you count your calories, success for 3 or 4 or even 5 days, lose motivation, back to old habits, repeat over and over and over again.
For me, I think it's my attitude. I equate sticking to my daily calories as torture, I'm always hungry, I can't be spontaneous, I'm a failure, this is too hard, the list goes on.
I have had success in the past so I know this works. I am probably not the best person to take advice from because I struggle as much as you do but I can tell you what works for me.
Make it a fun and positive experience, think about the end result, envision it actually happening.
I eat the foods I like, I didn't restrict any particular type of food.
Know what you are capable of, listen to your body, don't have the all or nothing mindset with eating.
I stick with a 200-500 calorie deficit every day, any more than that would send me into binge mode.
The days when I did splurge, I didn't beat myself up about it , I didn't revert to eating nothing the next day, I just moved on and started fresh again.
I rewarded myself (non food items) when I accomplished small goals, like making it through the first week, or losing 5 pounds.
I think if you can somehow convince yourself that it's truly worth it and you are really ready to make changes you will be strong enough to resist or at least control the splurge. If you are feeling out of control, take a step back, literally, walk away from the situation for a few minutes and think about it, distract yourself somehow.
I need to take my own advice !!
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