the less i weigh, the crazier i get...

femmerides
femmerides Posts: 843 Member
edited October 1 in Motivation and Support
i feel like the more i lose, the more unsatisfied i am. the last two times i weighed 183 over the years, i looked amazing! i was fit, no loose skin, no stretch marks, etc....i felt amazing all the time. well i'm at 183 and i feel worse than i did 40lbs ago...:sad: i have saggy skin, extra skin, stretch marks, cellulite, extra skin on my thighs, stomach, arms, super saggy boobs that look awful, etc. my confidence is just so ****ty right now. i hate taking pics (especially side pics) because you can see my pooch...my lower half has so much extra skin and fat still in the skin that it just looks awful. i've been stuck at 183 for almost a month now and i thought that my skin would start getting better but no such luck. i still have at least another 20lbs to go and i just feel like *kitten* all the time...some days i feel good (when i weigh in at 183.4) but then if i weigh in at a higher number i feel like horrible ALL DAY! today I weighed in at 183.8 and now after my work out i'm 184.4 and it's frustrating. i want to be 179!!! well actually, i want to be a size 6 with NO extra skin and super perky boobs! lol. but that's gonna have to come with surgery. all this skin will have to be removed and my boobs will have to be lifted. anyways, am i the only one that feels this way? am i the only one that seems to get more obsessed with WHY my number is what it is but my body refuses to be what i want it to be???

Replies

  • JenniCH
    JenniCH Posts: 74
    Okay - just breathe :-)
    I know how you feel... trust me -- I KNOW... however, I've also been told numerous times that after losing a significant amount of weight you should give your body AT LEAST 1-2 years to re-cooperate... as in it can take that long for the skin to shrink back up - it seems like a long time to wait but I'd rather wait the 1-2 years - see what my body looks like then, see how I feel and THEN make a decision about major surgery. This is definitely a long journey and quick fixes aren't always best.
    Before when I was 150lbs (I'm 5'7") and I was in high school - I hated my body because I wanted it to be PERFECT (when in reality it was in pretty damn good shape!)... then I gained a TON of weight and again... hated my body and wanted my old body back... well now that I'm almost back down to 150lbs... my body is SO different than last time because of what I put it through... there is extra skin, things are sagging... it's definitely a different 150lb body but I have to accept that and realize that it will take time (and weight-lifting) in order to get my body back into the shape that I want it to be and therefore I just find my self-confidence in other things... I take pride in the hard work that I've done to lose the weight, I also am just proud that I'm a good, loving person who is committed to a healthy/happy life :)
  • jhoney8
    jhoney8 Posts: 43 Member
    I hear you. Where did all this stupid skin come from? I almost feel like I looked better before because at least my skin fit. I know in reality I am in much better shape and all that, but the vanity sure takes a hit. I have not been small EVER, but I didn't expect that the difference was extreme enough to feel so saggy. I know it's all fresh and I need to wait to see what everything will look like in the end, but wouldn't it be fantastic to actually be able to celebrate the loss in a bikini in public and not feel totally self-conscious?

    I guess you have to look at it as a process. I think that since we see ourselves every day it's hard to see the progress. It can happen slowly. Very slowly. When I see old pictures or try on old clothes, that's when I see difference. For now I think I just have to do my best and be patient. We have come so far and I think we do owe it to ourselves to be proud. It's OK to be a little crazy, in fact I think it's normal. Having people here to share our insecurities with is so great because I have a feeling we have all felt this way. My family and BF can only take so much talk about how my clothes fit and probably find my calorie counting and weighing a little neurotic. Just keep it up and I think you will get to a place where you are happier. It gets better, it already has.
  • bethdris
    bethdris Posts: 1,090 Member
    No, you aren't alone!! I started this journey at 246.2 after the birth of my son.(he was 11 months old then). I went in this head first...well almost 88 pounds later I have some REAL saggy skin...my belly(post c section, and my boobs seem to be in race to my knees)...UGH!! I told my husband, that if I can hold my weight steady for 12-24 months, Im getting surgery done! I can only lose soo much weight (scale wise) and still be "healthy". Im now in the high 150's and HATE the poooch!!!!
  • tara4487
    tara4487 Posts: 118 Member
    Your def not alOne I feel the same way I have no boobs left but skin ! Not that there was much there before but there was just enough I feel like I lost all this weight and really can't show it off and enjoy it like io thought dont get me started on the bat wings" lol I'm hoping 1 day for sugery I guess were never happy
  • shamr0ck
    shamr0ck Posts: 296 Member
    I'm right there with you. I've had 7 pregnancies, and the stretched out, used up belly to show for it. :D And empty skin where the girls used to be. I'm about 10 pounds lighter than you, but fighting that same "why won't the damn number change!" on the scale. *sigh*

    Just keep measuring and moving, and know that it will eventually come off. Then, if the finances allow, get that skin removed and the girls perked up!
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