Hello Everyone!!!!

Hello my name is Amber Bell and I am a Diabetic. Whew..now that we have that all cleared up!!! I was diagnosed as a type 2 Diabetic in April of 2007. I remember that time very clearly and I think I always will. I had recently moved to New York to live with David (now my fiancé) just six months earlier. I was working at Price Chopper and I had noticed that I had been very thirsty and going to the bathroom all the time. A fellow co-worker of mine (who is a diagnosed type-1) suggested that she test my sugar. It was well within the 500 range. Shortly after that I went to the ER and was then on my way to a Doctor. I had no insurance at the time and really had no idea of what I was getting myself into.
In May of 2007 David and I realized that I was pregnant with our first child. Only then was I able to obtain state health insurance and starting seeing the Doctors that I needed to be seeing. I remember meeting with our OBGYN and he really laid down everything to do with my Diabetes. As we were walking out of the office and into the parking lot it hit me, I climbed into our truck and just cried. What was supposed to be the happiest time of our lives was now over shadowed with this horrible disease. My life was never going to be the same, and I absolutely refused to have this disease! I went into complete denial, not doing what the doctors were instructing to be done; the meds the BG testing all of it! I was lying to the Doctor; I would even make up fake log books so he thought I was doing what I was supposed to be doing. All of this continued on through the remainder of my pregnancy, and thank the Lord that none of my selfish stupidity affected the health of my little girl.
January 6th, 2008 we welcomed our beautiful baby girl. She was a healthy 10 lbs 1.5 oz and 21 inches long! The absolute love of my life (and still is of course). She was delivered by c-section which resulted in a five day stay at the hospital. The day we brought her home was the day my milk production kicked in and I experienced my first low blood sugar. I had never felt so miserable in my life, and on top of that I had a screaming hungry new born. The rest of January went about as well as expected. I stayed home with the baby and David continued to go to work at his new job which was working at a factory on second shift. I still wasn’t doing anything to care for my diabetes..I had more important things to take care of right?
February 23rd,2008, another date that I shutter to remember this date and I probably always will. I was begging to have pains in my stomach after eating for several days prior to this date. David and I finally decided to go to the ER to have it checked out. The diagnosed it as a urinary tract infection and sent me home with an antibiotic. The following morning we had gone to the pharmacy to fill the prescription and the pain started to get worse. I remember the drive to the hospital, seeing how scared Dave look driving as fast as he possibly could while I screamed in pain. I don’t remember being in the triage area, the last thing I recall from the ER was screaming for help as the nurse tried to insert and IV. The nest thing that I can recall was saying good bye to Dave that evening in the ICU as he went home around midnight. The following morning I was scheduled to have a CAT scan and I began to drink that god awful contrast they make you consume. I don’t remember if I ever made it to the CAT scan though because the next thing I knew was the Doctor was telling me they were sending me to Albany because Kidneys were failing. I briefly remember talking to my parents not really sure what was said (they later appeared that evening). I remember Dave’s grandmother and stepmother (who were watching our daughter) coming to see me before I was shipped. I don’t remember the ambulance ride to the new hospital, and much of the stay there (totaling 3 months).
I came home on May 9th, 2008 the day before my first mother’s day. I was Diagnosed with Pancreatitis (caused by a gall stone). I came home on 14 different meds, walking with a cane, and visits by a home nurse. I had come a long way from where I was but I had still a long way to go. Then I was doing somewhat better with my diabetes than what I previously had but nowhere near enough. The next few months were touch and go with a couple of trips back to the hospital for different things. By Christmas I was feeling a lot better that what I had.
The year of 2009 came in much quieter that the previous year and we were all hoping it would stay that way. Dave was looking for a job and we were all just enjoying being there together and all healthy. I started up visits with my endocrine (diabetes doctor). The little progress I had made in taking care of my diabetes had soon tapered off and I was back to doing nothing about it. I had met with my diabetes educator and she had talked about something called an Insulin pump, and asked if I would be interested so I said yes. It wasn’t until later that summer that the dream of this pump would become a reality. While I do not remember the date it came I sure do remember walking in and seeing all of those packages sitting there on the table. I got into my head that I would put this thing on and it would solve all of my problems and everything would be cured (another form of denial).
I went through the remainder of the year with this thing hanging off of me but I would pay no mind to it. I still never checked my sugars and took the meds I was supposed to. During my visits to the Doctors (when I went, if I went) I was still lying to them about what I was really doing at home, thinking that they would never be the wiser. I was a working mom and going to college at the time I didn’t have time for this thing!! It was suppose to be doing all of the work for my, my cure all!!!!
2010 came and we celebrated our daughters 2nd birthday with a little grander get together that the year before. I was suffering with back problems at the time so I didn’t get to enjoy it as much as I would have like too. I continued to go to school and work, I was tired and sick all of the time from lack of sleep and not caring for myself. I eventually would drop out of school and returning to work for financial reasons. I worked steady for a couple of months occasionally having “inspired” bursts of wanting to take care of myself but all the same ending in not doing what I was supposed to be doing.
In June of 2010 after a family member had a pretty decent accident I made the decision to take some time off work. My plan was to help take care of the needs of the family, and to take control of my health. Which brings us to today June 29th, 2010; I am now in full control of where my health needs are. I’m not saying all of my numbers are where they are supposed to be, no they are nowhere near where they are supposed to be but my attitude is. I understand why I have to do what I do, and I know how I need to do what I need to do. Now is the part of just doing, living they way that I am suppose to be. Ensuring that I can live my live to its fullest potential; I have always fulfilled the needs of those around me without question, now it’s time to take care of me. I have all of the tools I need and all of the support I need just need to do it too it!!!!
Yesterday I made the call to request the CGM sensor that goes with my pump. Its another big step that can only do anything but good if done right. I have also requested that I get a referral to a new doctor. Yet another big step cause now I have to get acquainted and he has to learn my history all over again. I am ok with that, if he knows what he is doing that ok but that alone is not good enough for me. I want a doctor that can motivate me as well as challenge me. It’s never ending and I know that, I also know that it is not all going to be cured overnight. It’s going to take time, and I’m ok with that. It’s also going to take a lot of support and I’m ok with that too. I have a family that loves me. I have friends that are supportive and loving as well. I love being me, even if it is going to take a lot of work.