Partner not interested...
OrangeBlossomSpecial21
Posts: 149 Member
How many have lost over forty lbs. without their partner being involved? Mine hasn’t don’t much to lose weight...I’ve lost 45. Definitely would make it easier to stay motivated if she was interested. Thoughts?
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Replies
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My husband is trying to gain as i am trying to lose... such is life!
You just do you :drinker:9 -
I lost 40 Lbs...my wife wasn't involved. That said, when I lost weight I was just over the line of obese...my wife wasn't really overweight. She did eventually get motivated to get back into the gym and to also start running again as she saw how fit I was becoming. I think she eventually lost like 5 Lbs or something.1
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From the other side of the equation - I am the partner that was not interested when my husband was losing weight. He ended up losing 100 lbs on his own, while I was not watching myself.
His requests to me were:
-"Don't mind if we eat different meals (his were lean meats, I was still eating whatever)"
-"Don't ask me if I want dessert with you. You can have it, but it is hard for me to say no so don't ask."
-"Please don't interrupt my exercise time (he uses stationary bike in the house) unless you need to ask me something urgently. It is harder to start back up if I lose the 'zone'."
That was many years ago, and he has been able to maintain without input from me. Now I choose to improve my health and fitness too, and it was wonderful being able to ask him for his advice when I was ready to commit to this journey. We both do completely different types of exercise, and we still have different diets, so still not much overlap in motivation/interest.13 -
I'm at 30 lbs and still going, while my wife isn't involved. I do most of the cooking anyway, so I'm able to pre-log my dinners and work around that the rest of the day. On my run days, I have more calories to play with, which are usually the days we'll go out or order in. With her flat feet and bad knees, there was never any chance she was going to join me in training for a half marathon, so I went in planning to be self-motivated. I haven't had any issues.0
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My husband is at a healthy weight and does really well managing his weight and fitness without thinking about it too hard. He is supportive and I want to more easily be able to do activities with him, but he isn't my motivation. I'm doing this for myself.1
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My husband was/is already at a healthy weight for his height, so I had to lose my excess weight on my own. I will ask him to go the gym or for a run with me, but he always says no. When it comes to meals, we eat the same dinner, but I will eat a much smaller portion. Sure, it would probably be easier if he was involved, but it didn't stop me from making progress.0
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My wife has started to work on losing weight, but for a while it was just me on my own. Even now, we are going about it very differently so there is not a ton of overlap (we work out at different gyms and I have much higher calorie needs. She has lower carb requirements and I do not). What is most important to me is her support of me in the process, which doesn't require her to be involved in it. We can't expect our choices to be the choices of others, and we have to be able to do this on our own. But there are a lot ways your partner can support you without being involved directly into trying to lose weight.1
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I have my mom, a friend, and my boyfriend all to help support me. I will say my mom and my boyfriend have been key since I spend the most time with them. Neither of them are actively trying to lose weight (although my boyfriend is trying to maintain his own weight loss), but just having someone there to encourage me has been a huge help. I definitely think it would be a lot harder if my boyfriend wasn't trying to maintain his weight loss, but at the end of the day this is about me and my health.0
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My husband has no interest in losing weight. I just 44 lbs gone. He will sit down next to me with a bowl of ice cream not even realizing what a dirty move it is. He doesn't do it to be difficult he just doesn't get it. That is why I find myself on here a lot...Making friends with people that have similar goals. It helps so much.7
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My partner is constantly trying to get me to eat like crap with him. He views food as a way to share things with me. I understand it, but it's certainly derailed me a couple times (Oreos... friggin' Oreos). Still, my choices are my own so I've tried to take responsibility and be strong.3
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we started together. He stopped.. I kept losing and then of course his bad habits became mine and now I am up 30 lbs again.. So I am fighting to stay afloat amidst his choices and watching him eat things I want to but I know if I start I won't stop..2
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I lost 60 lbs and my ex wasn't involved (to be fair, he was deployed, but wasn't even really supportive through email.)
I just lost 13.5 in the last 5 weeks, but my boyfriend and I go to the gym together, and he's very supportive. He is losing weight too.0 -
smoofinator wrote: »My partner is constantly trying to get me to eat like crap with him. He views food as a way to share things with me. I understand it, but it's certainly derailed me a couple times (Oreos... friggin' Oreos). Still, my choices are my own so I've tried to take responsibility and be strong.
Oreos are evil....2 -
im with a guy who has huge self doubt and trust issues, I believe he wants me to be chubby so i stay with him. Definite feeder. I have put back on 30 of my 110 since being with him. Admittedly my fault aswell obviously i burned out a bit after such a huge loss and food was yummy and he just kept offering caused quite the whirlpool of bad habits and feeling helpless to get out of. Still with him but fighting against the feeding now. Would 10000% just be easier for sure if my partner would just support me but in his weird way i do think he thinks he gives me what i want i dont even think hes aware of his desire to make me chubby lol.
Its very hard not necessarily to not have support but to have someone around you you care for making bad choices around you just makes bad choices easier to make yourself. Sort of normalizes it and makes it more easily accessed. Sitting on th couch all day with your partner? cool. Come home and they have a pizza there? hard to say no. Not to mention how much more fun working out or going for a walk is when not alone6 -
My wife is and always has maintained a normal BMI. I lost 80 pounds. You have to do you my friend. That doesn't mean she didn't support me - it just means you have to find your own motivation and drive to do the work.1
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My boyfriend encourages me -and I know that he wants to lose weight- but he just keeps putting the changes off until tomorrow. It can be frustrating, but I know how it feels to have someone pushing you into something that you’re not ready or truly motivated to do. If I make it too big of an issue, I’m going to push him toward unhealthy behaviors even more. I think if one person really makes a long term change, the other will see the benefits and eventually follow.1
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My husband and I both float around in weight.
At one point we were both trying to lose and it was frustrating because he wanted me to do all the annoying work, calorie counting and stuff for him. It was obnoxious. It's enough of a pain to do it for myself. It's actually easier if we just both do our own thing and I don't have to worry about what he's eating.
Luckily I'm the one that cooks and does the shopping. So I decide what's for dinner and I can keep myself in control. If he wants something else he can go get it or eat it while I'm at work or otherwise not around.
We don't keep junk in the house. No snacks (besides fruits and veggies) and no pop. If he wants any of that he goes and gets it while I'm not around.3 -
PhilLanides wrote: »How many have lost over forty lbs. without their partner being involved? Mine hasn’t don’t much to lose weight...I’ve lost 45. Definitely would make it easier to stay motivated if she was interested. Thoughts?
At first I lost 40 pounds from my first pregnancy. Now after my second pregnancy (1 month postpartum) I started at 180 and now down to 144. My partner doesn’t notice nor involved, but that’s okay it’s more for me then anything else. Though it’s hard that the hard work isn’t acknowledged or noticed.5 -
I've lost 37 pounds. During most of that time my husband has binged on sweets almost every night. I just learned at some point to be concerned with myself and not rely on others for support.
And after me being on this journey for 6 years, he finally decided to start becoming healthier about 1 week ago. I will be as supportive of his goals the best I can.1 -
TavistockToad wrote: »My husband is trying to gain as i am trying to lose... such is life!
You just do you :drinker:
Same here lol, my husbands a smaller fella so he’s always trying to pack on weight. When we graduated he was 120 pounds. Though I fatten him up some, since living together I got him to 160 lol.0 -
rickiimarieee wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »My husband is trying to gain as i am trying to lose... such is life!
You just do you :drinker:
Same here lol, my husbands a smaller fella so he’s always trying to pack on weight. When we graduated he was 120 pounds. Though I fatten him up some, since living together I got him to 160 lol.
People trying to gain weight 🤬 😂0 -
My husband watches the kid so I can have time to go to the gym. I am the cook, so now his stuck eating mostly chicken and veggies. He would complain every so often that his chickened out. Haha!
I'm influencing/pushing him to get healthy and lose some weight, especially his beer belly. His dad died last year from heart complications. We are devastated about it.0 -
My husband has recently gained about 20lbs since I started losing weight, and not in a bulk, he just isnt working construction anymore, and still eats like her is, so hes packing on the pounds. I bought a new lifting set up that he said he wanted also so he could start lifting with me, that was a month ago, I think he grabben my lat pull down bar and did one pull down and said "wow, thats a lot of weight, you can pull that?" and that was it, hasnt touched it at all besides that, lol.0
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When I hit 50 I decided to start working on dropping some weight. It's tough to get my wife involved because she feels pressured and it has the opposite affect. If I just do my thing, she seems to come along. I'm hoping she notice and decide to make some changes on her own.1
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My husband starts to join in but gives up pretty quickly. He has enrolled in exercise classes and gyms. He has followed my eating pattern and lost a ton only to go back to sugar and chips.
That being said I can either let it bother me and sit in the house with him or keep doing what I am doing. I am going to keep doing what works for me. If he starts to follow along and adopt a healthier lifestyle, great. If he doesn't totally up to him. I will keep asking if he wants to join me on walks or outside and I continue to cook good meals.
You can only lead, they don't have to follow.1 -
PhilLanides wrote: »rickiimarieee wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »My husband is trying to gain as i am trying to lose... such is life!
You just do you :drinker:
Same here lol, my husbands a smaller fella so he’s always trying to pack on weight. When we graduated he was 120 pounds. Though I fatten him up some, since living together I got him to 160 lol.
People trying to gain weight 🤬 😂
lol I know! I wish I had this problem. Weight sticks to me as if I’m Velcro lmao. His metabolism is just so fast he can eat anything and lose weight. He has to track to pack his face with three course meals every meal plus snacks to get to 160.0 -
rickiimarieee wrote: »PhilLanides wrote: »rickiimarieee wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »My husband is trying to gain as i am trying to lose... such is life!
You just do you :drinker:
Same here lol, my husbands a smaller fella so he’s always trying to pack on weight. When we graduated he was 120 pounds. Though I fatten him up some, since living together I got him to 160 lol.
People trying to gain weight 🤬 😂
lol I know! I wish I had this problem. Weight sticks to me as if I’m Velcro lmao. His metabolism is just so fast he can eat anything and lose weight. He has to track to pack his face with three course meals every meal plus snacks to get to 160.
You and me both. No offense, but I hate the *kitten* 😂1 -
I did not write *kitten* there lol
BTW, you’re quite beautiful1 -
PhilLanides wrote: »I did not write *kitten* there lol
BTW, you’re quite beautiful
Lol no it puts kitten anytime you put a swear word lol.
And thank you!0 -
rickiimarieee wrote: »PhilLanides wrote: »I did not write *kitten* there lol
BTW, you’re quite beautiful
Lol no it puts kitten anytime you put a swear word lol.
And thank you!
Ah...lol. Makes sense. And you’re most welcome 😬0
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