Partner not interested...

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OrangeBlossomSpecial21
OrangeBlossomSpecial21 Posts: 149 Member
in Motivation and Support
How many have lost over forty lbs. without their partner being involved? Mine hasn’t don’t much to lose weight...I’ve lost 45. Definitely would make it easier to stay motivated if she was interested. Thoughts?
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  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,874 Member
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    I lost 40 Lbs...my wife wasn't involved. That said, when I lost weight I was just over the line of obese...my wife wasn't really overweight. She did eventually get motivated to get back into the gym and to also start running again as she saw how fit I was becoming. I think she eventually lost like 5 Lbs or something.
  • grimendale
    grimendale Posts: 2,154 Member
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    I'm at 30 lbs and still going, while my wife isn't involved. I do most of the cooking anyway, so I'm able to pre-log my dinners and work around that the rest of the day. On my run days, I have more calories to play with, which are usually the days we'll go out or order in. With her flat feet and bad knees, there was never any chance she was going to join me in training for a half marathon, so I went in planning to be self-motivated. I haven't had any issues.
  • puffbrat
    puffbrat Posts: 2,806 Member
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    My husband is at a healthy weight and does really well managing his weight and fitness without thinking about it too hard. He is supportive and I want to more easily be able to do activities with him, but he isn't my motivation. I'm doing this for myself.
  • Cassandraw3
    Cassandraw3 Posts: 1,214 Member
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    My husband was/is already at a healthy weight for his height, so I had to lose my excess weight on my own. I will ask him to go the gym or for a run with me, but he always says no. When it comes to meals, we eat the same dinner, but I will eat a much smaller portion. Sure, it would probably be easier if he was involved, but it didn't stop me from making progress.
  • MikePTY
    MikePTY Posts: 3,814 Member
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    My wife has started to work on losing weight, but for a while it was just me on my own. Even now, we are going about it very differently so there is not a ton of overlap (we work out at different gyms and I have much higher calorie needs. She has lower carb requirements and I do not). What is most important to me is her support of me in the process, which doesn't require her to be involved in it. We can't expect our choices to be the choices of others, and we have to be able to do this on our own. But there are a lot ways your partner can support you without being involved directly into trying to lose weight.
  • smms0714
    smms0714 Posts: 68 Member
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    I have my mom, a friend, and my boyfriend all to help support me. I will say my mom and my boyfriend have been key since I spend the most time with them. Neither of them are actively trying to lose weight (although my boyfriend is trying to maintain his own weight loss), but just having someone there to encourage me has been a huge help. I definitely think it would be a lot harder if my boyfriend wasn't trying to maintain his weight loss, but at the end of the day this is about me and my health.
  • smoofinator
    smoofinator Posts: 635 Member
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    My partner is constantly trying to get me to eat like crap with him. He views food as a way to share things with me. I understand it, but it's certainly derailed me a couple times (Oreos... friggin' Oreos). Still, my choices are my own so I've tried to take responsibility and be strong.
  • stephsjourney2019
    stephsjourney2019 Posts: 26 Member
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    we started together. He stopped.. I kept losing and then of course his bad habits became mine and now I am up 30 lbs again.. So I am fighting to stay afloat amidst his choices and watching him eat things I want to but I know if I start I won't stop..
  • julesdechaine
    julesdechaine Posts: 138 Member
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    I lost 60 lbs and my ex wasn't involved (to be fair, he was deployed, but wasn't even really supportive through email.)
    I just lost 13.5 in the last 5 weeks, but my boyfriend and I go to the gym together, and he's very supportive. He is losing weight too.
  • Jamie2663
    Jamie2663 Posts: 779 Member
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    smoofinator wrote: »
    My partner is constantly trying to get me to eat like crap with him. He views food as a way to share things with me. I understand it, but it's certainly derailed me a couple times (Oreos... friggin' Oreos). Still, my choices are my own so I've tried to take responsibility and be strong.

    Oreos are evil....
  • garystrickland357
    garystrickland357 Posts: 598 Member
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    My wife is and always has maintained a normal BMI. I lost 80 pounds. You have to do you my friend. That doesn't mean she didn't support me - it just means you have to find your own motivation and drive to do the work.
  • kp7067
    kp7067 Posts: 9 Member
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    My boyfriend encourages me -and I know that he wants to lose weight- but he just keeps putting the changes off until tomorrow. It can be frustrating, but I know how it feels to have someone pushing you into something that you’re not ready or truly motivated to do. If I make it too big of an issue, I’m going to push him toward unhealthy behaviors even more. I think if one person really makes a long term change, the other will see the benefits and eventually follow.
  • Ziaki
    Ziaki Posts: 18 Member
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    My husband and I both float around in weight.

    At one point we were both trying to lose and it was frustrating because he wanted me to do all the annoying work, calorie counting and stuff for him. It was obnoxious. It's enough of a pain to do it for myself. It's actually easier if we just both do our own thing and I don't have to worry about what he's eating.

    Luckily I'm the one that cooks and does the shopping. So I decide what's for dinner and I can keep myself in control. If he wants something else he can go get it or eat it while I'm at work or otherwise not around.

    We don't keep junk in the house. No snacks (besides fruits and veggies) and no pop. If he wants any of that he goes and gets it while I'm not around.
  • lalalacroix
    lalalacroix Posts: 834 Member
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    I've lost 37 pounds. During most of that time my husband has binged on sweets almost every night. I just learned at some point to be concerned with myself and not rely on others for support.

    And after me being on this journey for 6 years, he finally decided to start becoming healthier about 1 week ago. I will be as supportive of his goals the best I can.
  • rickiimarieee
    rickiimarieee Posts: 2,212 Member
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    TavistockToad wrote: »
    My husband is trying to gain as i am trying to lose... such is life!

    You just do you :drinker:


    Same here lol, my husbands a smaller fella so he’s always trying to pack on weight. When we graduated he was 120 pounds. Though I fatten him up some, since living together I got him to 160 lol.

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