Really need to stick to this.

I am so ashamed to say that I am at my biggest weight ever. 287lbs for my 5'7" frame. Ugh, disgusting!! How, why? I know how and why...I just lie to myself every day and ignore it. I have an emotional eating disorder that has turned into a chronic hunger. I am out of breath often and dizzy a lot of the time. I have also started having daily headaches. I'm scared. I'm lost. I need to stick to this. I have kids to live for. I need to live for me.