Want to use fitness center but anxiety is hitting me hard

emmies_123
emmies_123 Posts: 513 Member
in Motivation and Support
Ok so my neighborhood has a free Fitness Center (paid by HoA fees) with multiple types of equipment. Kind of like an apartment complex gym I guess. I have been working to get my key working, and hope to use this center soon. BUT my anxiety is getting in the way. Looking for some support so that hopefully Saturday I can overcome my fear and have a successful workout.

Background: I have done 30 min videos at home for the last year, mix of cardio and hand weights. Have never used any kind of machine to exercise, and I'm used to having someone tell me when to switch moves.

My personal goals are to trim up the weight I have. If I can lose more great, but focus is on fitness over diet.

Anxiety monster says:
-How do you even use these things? Will instructions be posted near each one?
-What if I can't get in (key not working still)? Whoever sees me at the door will think I'm an idiot.
-How do I know when to move on? Do I exercise until I'm sore, past that? Should I change machines or stick to one thing?
-What should I take? Should I take a towel to wipe down? I'll look weird walking from my house (15 min walk from house to center) with a towel, especially if I can't get in...
-If I embarrass myself in front of anyone there these are my neighbors! They'll remember it...
-How long should I work out for? What if I wear myself out and I can't get home?
-What should I wear? I don't want to overheat, but I don't want to be too revealing either (work out at home in a sports bra and bike shorts)
-What if I have bad form and hurt myself?
-Why am I even doing this? I should just stick to the videos at home and never challenge myself. No, people would kill to have a free gym, use it! But ugh, I don't wanna be seen exercising...

Those all seem like smart questions, but imagine them circling in your head in a panic voice. A little voice in me knows no one cares, someone else working out might see my panic and confusion and decide to help. But that little voice is drowned out in the worry of embarrassment...

Do any of you have answers or experience that can help the little voice drown out the big worry monster? I really want to overcome my fears and try some machines out, but it is so much easier to stick to what i know

Replies

  • InspectorRed
    InspectorRed Posts: 757 Member
    Do you know what type of machines are in this gym? My suggestion would be to google the ones that you are interested in trying, you can find videos of the machine being used so it won't be completely alien to you.
    The gym that I go to uses Precor machines and each one has the little barcode thing that you can scan with your phone and get instructions.
    I know that I get intimidated at the gym if I don't have a plan, it can be overwhelming trying to decide what and when to use. I went online and found a 12 week fat burning program that included strength training and cardio. I use the machines to do the strength training as I'm not confident enough yet to use free weights and then I use either the treadmill or the elliptical. The first whole week that I used this gym I just focused on learning those machines that I wanted to use for that program and doing the cardio....treadmills are by far the easiest and least intimidating machine in the gym for me.
    And finally, work at your own pace, you are not there to impress anyone so you do you. After that first scary visit each time will get easier and easier and hopefully you will begin to truly enjoy your time there!
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    I'm assuming they are resistance machines. When people do resistance training, they typically do a certain number of sets of a certain number of reps...for example, 3 sets of 10 reps. The weight would be something challenging, but that you can complete and complete with maybe 2 or 3 more reps left in the tank.

    I'd personally recommend doing a full body workout 2-3x per week meaning you will be using multiple machines to work all of your muscle groups in one session. I use free weights and do a full body program that consists of squats, romanian dead lift, bench press, rows (upper back), lat pull downs or pull ups, and overhead press...that takes me 30-40 minutes depending on rest and waiting on equipment. I don't use machines much, but you could google programs for machines that will take you through step by step what you're supposed to do and when to do it.

    Most machines have a little plaque that shows how to use it and what muscles are being used. Form is more of an issue when using free weights as a machine has you on a guided path.

    You probably don't need to take a towel...a wash cloth would suffice. A lot of places also provide paper towels...you'd just need to do a little tour of the place.

    I personally wouldn't worry about a key not working...not sure how that's really something to be embarrassed about...it's just a key not working.
  • Crimsonlilac7
    Crimsonlilac7 Posts: 3 Member
    I too struggle with anxiety, sometimes I have to tell that monster to shut up.
    Stepping out of our comfort zone is not easy. I too have had those exact same worries. I think it is pretty normal.
    I don't think people really pay attention to other people at gyms for the most part.
    The more you go the easier it will get.
  • AmyC2288
    AmyC2288 Posts: 386 Member
    Hi!

    Do you have a friend, family member, or maybe a neighbor who could go with you? :smile:
  • michael1976_ca
    michael1976_ca Posts: 3,488 Member
    Challenge what you fear no one is going to pay attention to you.
  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,463 Member
    No one will think you're an idiot because you can't get the key card to work. It's happened to everyone right?
    You can wear a tank top over your bra, preferably one made of wicking material (not cotton).
  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,463 Member
    edited April 2019
    Put your towel in a small pack or tote bag.
    You might want try wearing capris pants if you feel your legs are sticking to the seats.
    After your first couple times you'll be fine.
  • whmscll
    whmscll Posts: 2,254 Member
    Wear sweatpants with bike shorts underneath and a t-shirt over your sport bra. You can take the sweatpants off once you’re in the gym if you want. Take a small bag with you containing a hand towel for wiping off sweat, water bottle, headphones, phone with music, and your apt keys. If the machines don’t have instructions on them, they should at least have the name of what the machine is on a plaque on the machine. Google something like “how do you use the leg curl machine” and YouTube video links should pop up. As for what your wokout should be, you can Google this before your first workout. “Resistance machine workout for beginners”’or something. Or start at 10-20 pounds of resistance on the machine and do 8-10 reps. Wait 60 seconds and do another 8-10 reps. How do you feel? Was it hard by the end? Stop and move on to the next machine. Repeat with all the machines you feel like using. Way too easy? Add 5 pounds. It should feel hard but not impossible hard during the last 2-3 reprs of each set. Then see how sore you are the next day. You should be sore but not so sore that you can’t function. Add weight once the current weight on each machine starts feeling easy after 3 sets of 12-15 reps.
  • emmies_123
    emmies_123 Posts: 513 Member
    Thank you everyone.

    To answer some of the questions:

    -I don't know what machines are in there, or any other facilities like towels, water fountains, etc. You cannot get in without an activated key fob, and the windows are tinted so that you can't see in but people inside can see out.

    -Yeah I shouldn't be embarassed by key fob not working yet (is common problem in the neighborhood, HoA is bad at activating them for new residents). However anxiety doesn't care if it is a silly reason. All you can picture is standing there, trying to open a door, failing, and all the people inside (because in your imagination the place is always full) laughing at the idiot who can't work a door. Sure that is not a likely scenario, but brain don't care.

    -Great advice on the clothes. My warm up is going to be walking to and from the place from my house. If I can't get in I plan on continuing a walk around the neighborhood streets instead. Due to being in the south I will probably just wear the shorts (they are tight but long, no worse than people wearing yoga pants everywhere I guess), with a tank over the bra. The bag is a great idea, will have to see if I have something appropriate size to carry with me!

  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
    Did you ever consider (in these hypothetical scenerios) that someone might open the door for you, if they see you struggling? Please just go. Maybe go a first time to take a look around and check things out.
  • onefortypoint6
    onefortypoint6 Posts: 11 Member
    If needed, you could always go at an unpopular time when no one else is likely to be around to acclimate yourself with the room and equipment. No need to be anxious if you are the only one there. Then next time just go whenever and do your thing.
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,324 Member
    maybe don't go Saturday morning when the center may be packed. go on off hours at first..so you start feeling comfortable. Also.. if others are there.. just do a few things.. build up. No one is looking or criticizing you. Who does that? Only villains in movies. It is all in your head. you know that. Just do your own behavior therapy.. expose yourself little by little each time for a longer period of time.. and you'll be good to go.
  • 1BlueAurora
    1BlueAurora Posts: 439 Member
    Put on your clothes, put a towel and water bottle in your tote/backpack/bag, take your key, and go over there! You can always knock on the door and maybe someone will let you in. As far as not knowing how to use the equipment, just set everything for a low weight and give them a try. It's possible you'll find a collection of free weights there, too, which you already know how to use. I get nervous thinking people will be all judgmental and think I'm clumsy (I am! So what!) or stupid (I'm just a beginner! So leave me alone!). But mostly, people are more into concentrating on what they are doing and will barely acknowledge you. However, people can be nice, too. If you're confused about how to use a machine, ask someone there to show you. Folks like to help beginners out, believe it or not.
  • Terytha
    Terytha Posts: 2,097 Member
    I imagine my anxiety as this gross little demon bug, sitting on my shoulder whispering mean things in my ear. Then I imagine lacing up my heavy steel toed boots and squishing it into a smear on the floor.

    Then I get super angry at how scared I am and the anger drowns out the fear (probably specific to me.)

    Visualization really helps me fight anxiety. It's all in your head, so start imagining good things not bad.
  • rheddmobile
    rheddmobile Posts: 6,840 Member
    edited April 2019
    This doesn’t work for everyone but I find that when I have anxiety it helps to catastrophize. Imagine the worst possible thing happening, then make it even worse and worse until it’s so unlikely and ridiculous you can’t help laughing at yourself. It’s also important to remember that even if people think you are an idiot (which isn’t likely in this particular situation, but sometimes it happens to the best of us) YOU WILL NOT DIE. Being embarrassed isn’t a fatal condition. Even if you are embarrassed in front of your neighbors, and they remember it forever, I guarantee you will not be the biggest idiot they have ever seen, or probably even the biggest idiot they have seen that day. (That was probably whoever parked that truck in the parking lot so it took up four spaces.)

    @whmscll gave good answers to your specific questions. In my gym the unofficial dress code is “try not to wear anything that other people can’t unsee,” which mainly means no running shorts that flap up when you lie down on a bench, or tights which turn out to be transparent when you squat. Also, if you do bring a bag, don’t set it where other people trip over it. In our gym the rule is, bags in lockers.

    Also, maybe take a trip down there when you don’t want to work out and just check to be sure your key is working, look around at what people are wearing, and come back when there’s less pressure.
  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,463 Member
    Agreed, go down once without intending to workout. Check things out, write down the names of the machines so you can Google them, read any rules or posted info, etc. It's a lot less pressure that way.
  • jfowler97
    jfowler97 Posts: 32 Member
    I really love the advice about going down once to see what machines there are! Remember that overcoming anxiety is about being brave, not being less scared. If you set yourself the goal of going in and just making sure it all works, that's absolutely a step forward. You never know, if the gym is empty you might even feel brave enough to try some things out. If you don't - all good! All you wanted to do was see what was there anyways :)
  • mlm7126
    mlm7126 Posts: 30 Member
    I’m so glad to hear that you went!!! Hopefully the fob issue will get sorted out and you can enjoy trying out the center.

    Years ago, I joined a new gym and was very apprehensive about going. I wasn’t fit, but happened to be working out in a smaller area of the facility with a man who was VERY fit. Feeling self conscious, I told him that I didn’t really know what I was doing. He said, “I’m glad you’re here. We’ve all had our first day once.”

    On the days where it still feels hard to get out there, I remember this random stranger and his kindness. There’s good people everywhere!
  • whmscll
    whmscll Posts: 2,254 Member
    Good for you! You overcame anxiety #1, which is people thinking you were a fool for not being able to get in the door. Excellent that you didn’t let that dumb non-working fob derail you and that you went for your walk and even tried jogging! I doubt any neighbors who see you are judgmental. They are probably too wrapped up in their own lives to even really notice you.

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