Losing weight, nobody sees it

agugino
agugino Posts: 119
edited October 1 in Motivation and Support
So in the past two months, since starting mfp, I have lost almost 14lbs and 14 and 1/2 total inches (from all areas). Clothes that didn't fit very well are starting to feel good again. I feel good about it, but one thing. My husband doesn't notice a difference. I just started a new job and we moved to a new city where I don't know anyone else. The numbers don't lie, but it's frustrating none the less. :(

Replies

  • ajvallance
    ajvallance Posts: 22 Member
    Are you able to put together some before and after photos for yourself? That would do a lot for your self confidence. Good luck, that must be really hard.
  • Chubby_bunnyy
    Chubby_bunnyy Posts: 50 Member
    congrats! and how could he not? :/
  • realrayne10
    realrayne10 Posts: 388 Member
    The people that see you everyday are thee last to notice - especially guys. I work with all men and I lost 40 pounds before any of the boys noticed and said anything.
  • BRANDYLYNETTE
    BRANDYLYNETTE Posts: 192 Member
    I started out at 214 at 5 '8. It took thirty pounds before people started noticing....made me sad when I lost 15 pounds...which was HUGE for me...and noone noticed....It just takes time....
    : )
  • I think you're doing great! Your husband probably loves you no matter what size you are. The key is that you are feeling better and your clothes are looking better on you. You can see the difference and you will continue feeling better about yourself. I don't know if you've already reached your goal weight or not, but you might want to take some before (or find some before) and after pictures of yourself for continued motivation. I say "keep up the good work!" :)
  • Ronny46
    Ronny46 Posts: 23
    What is he Blind LOL!!! Don't worry about him for the moment you just take care of you and believe me he will notice. Good Job!!!! I'm noticing!!!!!
  • Perhaps you need a lovely new dress...in a new size...and a Sat night date with your husband. He still might not notice your weight loss, but he'll notice YOU....which is more important :love:
  • It can be really hard when the one you want to notice most says he can't see it. Better for him to be honest and tell you he can't tell than have him not be honest with you. Keep up the good work andI am sure that in the next few pounds he will realize the changes are right in front of him!
  • It sounds like YOU'RE impressed, so that's what matters, right?
  • maryd523
    maryd523 Posts: 661 Member
    Don't feel bad. I've lost 19 pounds and NO ONE has noticed!! My sisters who I haven't seen since at all since I started losing weight came to visit last weekend and they didn't notice! And we were in bathing suits! No friends, no co-workers...no one except a crazy neighbor who also said I had "really lost weight" back in March before I had lost a single pound. So I don't count her.

    No one except the scale. And all my clothes that didn't fit before. And the tape measure. And my half-naked before and after photos. So don't worry if they don't notice, it's still happening!!
  • :I've been tryin to lose weight I do pretty good thru the week but on the week-ends I don't do very well ,how do you do it congrat"s on your weight loss,
  • agugino
    agugino Posts: 119
    All very good points. Thanks mfp peeps!:blushing:
  • my husband will notice,but for some reason like most men,thinks complimenting his woman makes him look weak,I guess,otherwise it wouldnt be so hard to compliment her..i just had the GB last week and the weight is falling off,and he notices beleive me he just doesnt say it which sucks :(
  • ewong02
    ewong02 Posts: 22
    Congratulations on your lost inches and pounds!! :) Great job!

    I find that most of my friends don't really notice my weight loss at all. I lost over 10 lbs and quite a few inches since the start of my weight loss journey, but it's like no one remembers what I used to look like.One of my friends who came back from Hong Kong after a year commented on the fact that my 'rack was smaller'. Lol. That's all. She didn't notice any other changes at all, just kinda downplayed my efforts at losing all that weight and her tone even suggested that my weight loss was a bad thing since I wear a smaller bra now.

    I tell myself that it doesn't matter what others think as long as I feel good about myself, but sometimes, it's annoying. Just keep doing what you're doing and people will have to notice your transformation. Some people are just unobservant and it's rather hard for those who see you every day to notice the gradual changes in your body.

    Overall, great progress!!! (is what I wanted to say in case my ranting was confusing :P)
  • healthyJenn0915
    healthyJenn0915 Posts: 185 Member
    The ones that see you everyday are always the last to notice! Congrats on the weight loss, and keep up the good work!
  • dkginger
    dkginger Posts: 167 Member
    I have been losing very slowly since about March of this year and have dropped 25 of the total 60 pounds I originally wanted to lose. I work in retail and see people every single day, many of them a few times a month. VERY few people have noticed! Come on, 25 pounds!It is somewhat discouraging, but I too have before and current pictures as my own proof. I know at some point, someone will finally say something! I went from a size 16 to 12 and now my 12's are too big!
  • runamym
    runamym Posts: 83 Member
    Like someone said before, it took about 30 lbs before someone noticed on me. Even my own mother - who only sees me once or 2x a month. I think it really takes a change in dress size - about 2 dress sizes before it's noticeable. Just stay with it and he'll notice. The big difference will be him noticing your attitude change, confidence and good eating habits/exercise, etc.
    congrats on your success so far!!
  • my husband will notice,but for some reason like most men,thinks complimenting his woman makes him look weak,I guess,otherwise it wouldnt be so hard to compliment her..i just had the GB last week and the weight is falling off,and he notices beleive me he just doesnt say it which sucks :(

    My wife and I are in the weight loss and fitness thing together. Tonight I said, "Wow, those pants are getting too big for you. Your butt must be getting smaller!"

    She asked, "Why can't you just say my butt looks better instead of implying that it WAS bigger?"

    MEN CAN'T WIN! That's why we just choose to be quiet.
  • my husband will notice,but for some reason like most men,thinks complimenting his woman makes him look weak,I guess,otherwise it wouldnt be so hard to compliment her..i just had the GB last week and the weight is falling off,and he notices beleive me he just doesnt say it which sucks :(

    My wife and I are in the weight loss and fitness thing together. Tonight I said, "Wow, those pants are getting too big for you. Your butt must be getting smaller!"

    She asked, "Why can't you just say my butt looks better instead of implying that it WAS bigger?"

    MEN CAN'T WIN! That's why we just choose to be quiet.
    My Husband does this same thing or says your hot or sexy. Some other term than what we really want to hear. Which is your beautiful. We want to be talked to sweet and sensor. Not reminded of how big we were or called at like we are walking past a bunch of men. Just a simple your beautiful with sensarity and full of love. lol. I am glad to see that my husband isn't the only one though. It will make him feel better. Being quiet isn't any better though because than we have to get mad about the nothing you said and that is much harder than being mad about the something you did say. lol. No men can't win. But than if men can't win neither can women. So it's a win, win by defualt. lol.
    Alexia, so I showed mine the new pictures and he's like that's nice. REALLY! I know that the pictures were a little hard to tell a difference with the zooms not being the same but it's almost 25lbs difference. I don't want to hear you getting more excited over the pictures I took of the dogs! Although there was some good pictures. lol.
  • agugino
    agugino Posts: 119
    Mine actually said... "you've lost that much? Really? Where?" @**hole!
  • runamym
    runamym Posts: 83 Member
    my husband will notice,but for some reason like most men,thinks complimenting his woman makes him look weak,I guess,otherwise it wouldnt be so hard to compliment her..i just had the GB last week and the weight is falling off,and he notices beleive me he just doesnt say it which sucks :(

    My wife and I are in the weight loss and fitness thing together. Tonight I said, "Wow, those pants are getting too big for you. Your butt must be getting smaller!"

    She asked, "Why can't you just say my butt looks better instead of implying that it WAS bigger?"

    MEN CAN'T WIN! That's why we just choose to be quiet.
    My Husband does this same thing or says your hot or sexy. Some other term than what we really want to hear. Which is your beautiful. We want to be talked to sweet and sensor. Not reminded of how big we were or called at like we are walking past a bunch of men. Just a simple your beautiful with sensarity and full of love. lol. I am glad to see that my husband isn't the only one though. It will make him feel better. Being quiet isn't any better though because than we have to get mad about the nothing you said and that is much harder than being mad about the something you did say. lol. No men can't win. But than if men can't win neither can women. So it's a win, win by defualt. lol.
    Alexia, so I showed mine the new pictures and he's like that's nice. REALLY! I know that the pictures were a little hard to tell a difference with the zooms not being the same but it's almost 25lbs difference. I don't want to hear you getting more excited over the pictures I took of the dogs! Although there was some good pictures. lol.

    Hmmm I think it depends on the wife ... but I DO like to hear "You're hot." or "you look sexy in that." from my husband. Makes me feel like I'm still attractive to him. Let's face it -- Men are visual and they are very blunt and they are not subtle. Women, we know they are visual -- why else is Victoria's Secret so profitable. Because the thongs are so comfortable? yeah right.
    Just take the compliment from your husband when he gives it. Thank him so wonderfully for it. Be grateful for it - don't criticize the compliment!! Sheesh! Why do we want to micromanage our husbands to the point they aren't their true selves.
    I want to hear what my husband wants to say when it comes to his mind, not what he thinks I want to hear. That's not genuine.
    There are so many wives out there in which the husbands are giving compliments to other women, noticing other women -- be grateful he's staying true to you and love him for it!

    @azheelshock: Oh and you did say her butt looked better (Not that it was bigger) -- you said her butt looked smaller -- that's better! good grief. Get real -- if you lost weight - yes you were bigger than now. LOL.
  • KHaverstick
    KHaverstick Posts: 308 Member
    Sorry! I know that's frustrating. I've lost nearly 50lbs, and just today someone other than my husband commented on it. No one else has said a word. After 50lbs.

    I think sometimes it's tough for people to notice when you lose weight all over, but are still the same shape. People who see you all the time may not realize it, because you're still the same shape, just smaller.

    Anyway, congrats on the loss!
  • Faery7
    Faery7 Posts: 317 Member
    I know it's frustrating... same thing is happening to me. I've lost 23 lbs and my guy doesn't notice much either. I think it's because they see us every day. He does say things sometimes but it's not what I want to hear lol. Just remember, we are doing this for ourselves, not for anyone else, and I bet you feel so much better without that weight and with the changes in your body. Be proud of yourself!!! Hey and maybe take some pictures out and show him how much you've changed... I'm sure he'll see it.
  • megamoo04
    megamoo04 Posts: 269
    I lost 13 and no one is noticting it on me either :(
  • runamym
    runamym Posts: 83 Member
    I know it's frustrating... same thing is happening to me. I've lost 23 lbs and my guy doesn't notice much either. I think it's because they see us every day. He does say things sometimes but it's not what I want to hear lol. Just remember, we are doing this for ourselves, not for anyone else, and I bet you feel so much better without that weight and with the changes in your body. Be proud of yourself!!! Hey and maybe take some pictures out and show him how much you've changed... I'm sure he'll see it.

    She's right. That's so true. We are not doing this for anyone else! Just for ourselves. That's the only motive that produces long-term, real results. Because if you do it for someone else -- they can change or say something and then, there goes the desire to commit to the plan/goal. I used to do it for my husband -- then I'd hear him say "I love you for you - no matter how you look." And I'd think "well, then I don't have to sacrifice and beat myself up in workouts. He loves me no matter what. I'll just stay fat and happy w/him by my side." But in reality - we all know that's not happy. I still wasn't satisfied with myself - my own health. And that's when I could really commit to the plan and weight started falling off. When I truly did it for myself -- no matter what he said. And now he's so proud of me and he's revealed just how much he worried about my future if I stayed 60 lbs heavier -- our "golden years" future.
  • mandahq
    mandahq Posts: 88 Member
    The people that see you everyday are thee last to notice - especially guys. I work with all men and I lost 40 pounds before any of the boys noticed and said anything.

    my mom didnt see much of a change in me til she went away for a week. came home and then noticed a difference. Ive lost 15.7 pounds so far. I agree with its hard to notice when you see that person day-to-day.
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