Self Sabotaging...

GeauxL
GeauxL Posts: 57 Member
edited December 2024 in Motivation and Support
How do we, those of us who do it, stop the vicious cycle?
I’ve been on this weight loss journey for about 2 years. I’ve lost about 100lbs & have been as close as 8lbs away from my goal weight. But it seems every time, even in the past when I’ve lost & re gained, that I get within reach of my goal; I self sabotage, binge, lose willpower, & start spiraling away from the things that got me here (healthy eating & exercise). I planned a cruise with friends about 6 months ago, I was about 10-15lbs away from my goal weight & had envisioned that I’d work hard to meet my goal & be in the “best” shape/weight in time to go on my cruise but it’s like the closer I got to my goal weight & to the cruise, I started slipping. It started with one cheat day, then 2, then a weekend, then the weekend & another day. I usually do really well during the week but the weekends just destroy all my efforts & I end up taking 2 steps back.
It is just so discouraging to do this to myself. Is this something others go through? How do we “re-set” & get back on track & stop the self sabotaging? I know how I feel when I cheat & eat & gain vs how I feel when I eat right & exercise; why is it so hard to choose that feeling vs the other?

Replies

  • MichelleSilverleaf
    MichelleSilverleaf Posts: 2,027 Member
    Maybe the "cheating" is the problem. Cutting out foods during the weight loss process seems to work against a lot of people when it's things they don't plan on giving up permanently. Foods are not "bad" and one shouldn't feel guilty about food. Learn how to incorporate those foods without the guilt: bank calories throughout the week and save them for a particular treat or meal, eat a little lighter that day to make room, find lower calorie versions.
  • 2baninja
    2baninja Posts: 519 Member
    I don't have an answer for you, if I did, I'd be trim and fit by now.... lol

    All I can say is that it happens to everyone at some point or another.

    I started and did great for about 4 months and 30 pounds, then I gave myself a break as I was about to hit a horrible stressful time at work, my only goal was to not gain weight, which I didn't... then... but now a year and a half later, I have not been able to get back on track and have regained 14 pounds.
  • csplatt
    csplatt Posts: 1,224 Member
    Perhaps take breaks from your deficit and practice eating at maintenance. Some people will always need to weigh and measure their food to stay in control of their portions.
  • hopeium1989
    hopeium1989 Posts: 6 Member
    I completely understand. I have been up and down the weight track so long. My “cheat” is I overeat, I am learning now honestly that if I know a day is coming where I’m not going to be able to keep control I try to be more protective about the other calories I eat throughout the week. One day doesn’t kill use, neither does a weekend. Life is like a peaks and Valleys. We will have weak time and strong times. My best thing I have found so far this time is that I stop beating myself up over slipping and I log it as best as I can. This is what I’m doing right now to try and break the self sabatoge I do. Hope this helps.
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,544 Member
    Hear me out, try this. Self sabotage is inner conflict at work. We’re really only one person. Working against ourselves isn’t actually possible. But sometimes we lack awareness of our own motives. So it feels like we are working against our own purposes.

    1 piece of paper, line down the middle, make 2 lists- why you want your goal weight, why you don’t want it. That’s right, why you don’t. I’ve seen threads where some people react angrily to the idea that there are reasons not to want to lose weight or get to goal. But you’ve got reasons. Or you would have done it by now. Try to find out what your reasons are. Take enough time to make good lists. Think it over for a couple of days if you need to. Put down everything, even stuff that sounds silly or trivial.

    Now look at your lists. Can you weigh one list against the other and find reasons to keep going? That’s how a friend approaches this.

    Or my approach. Looking at the don’t side, can you make any deals or compromises with yourself to get unstuck? May sound silly but respect the idea that on some level you just want to sit on the couch and eat candy. How often can you act on that and keep your program going? Having a bunch of absolute rules is hard to stick to. I made a bunch of deals that got me to goal weight and have kept me there for years. See if you can find a path in the middle to keep you moving in the right direction.

  • daneejela
    daneejela Posts: 461 Member
    Maybe asking yourself what are you expecting from the weight loss in the first place?

    If you self sabotage yourself when you come close to your goal, I would say it could be some hidden disappointment going on.

    Weight loss is exactly that - losing weight. It won't magically make our lives better or turn us into people from commercials. If you don't have a good relationship with your SO or if you are unhappy at your work or if you practice negative self-talk every day, it won't disappear with weight loss. Even 30,40,50 pounds lighter it will still be you, your life will still be your life. So, learn to be happy with who you are and what you have while you're losing weight. Work on those thoughts that sabotage you and make you feel like you're not worthy of healthy weight.
    It might sound harsh, but I mean that in the most positive and compassionate way. Weight loss is not a magic solution for everything but is one problem less now and many problems less in the future.
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